Please help me.....
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I am in a dilemma now. 3 years back, when I was in secondary school, I got to know a girl who was then in Sec 2. I did not have any chance or courage to approach her. After my O levels in 2000, I left school and did not have a chance to see her anymore. Last year, I waited for her outside school. I wanted to be friend with her and decided to approach her when she steps out of the school. However, everytime she have been accompanied by her friends and I do not have the courage to go up to her.
Then got one time, I decide to follow her to her place and approach her. I did not know why at that time I have such intentions. Unfortunately, I lost track of her soon after because she was in the bus, while I am driving. The same evening, I was in IRC and I saw her in there. I chatted with her and to be honest with her, I told her that I followed her home. She was very angry with me and is also scare. I was disappointed. It is wrong or right for me to tell her the truth of following her home?
Soon after that, I stop thinking of her. However, in November last year, I want to be her friend and so I decide to look her up. This time round, I got her address. One day before her birthday, I waited for her at the void deck and I approached her. She was shocked at the moment. But later, I identify myself and she agreed to be my “friend”. I was so happy at the moment and we agreed to meet the next day so that I can give her a present.
On her birthday, I received a call from her saying that she will not be free that afternoon. I was so sad at that very moment. However, I got the present delivered to the place by the gift company. I confirm that she receives the present but why didnÂ’t she call me back. From then, it has been 3 months. No call, no letter, nothing from her. I have not given up.
I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL TYPE OF FRIEND WITH HER. Why canÂ’t she give me a chance to be her friend? What should I do now? Should I approach her again? I donÂ’t think I would like to do soÂ…. Should I write her a letter? But what happen if she doesnÂ’t replyÂ….
Please help me. -
u dam kok! post in 1 place can liao! thn use 50 newest topics.
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well, probably your sudden appearance frightened her (not referring to your looks lah)... dun ever stalk a ger lor...they will be scared and turned off too.
Well, guess it is just her way of showing that she wanna keep a distance from u.
Do u know if she is attached liao... your advancement seemed too fast and might hav scared her ... and she seemed to think u are trying to woo her than just to be a simple friend...and btw, it seems u wanna her from Day 1 to be your ger ger..
mi conclusion is tat dun brood on her and move on...and join the forum outings here...got good pple here (minus mi lah of course)... and who knows, 1 day u might find someone that treasures u...
good luck pal
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
I don't know whether you have such experience or not.
It is not that I don't wish to forget about her. But even I try to forget her, I will remember her again a few months later. What should I do?Originally posted by sgboy2004:well, probably your sudden appearance frightened her (not referring to your looks lah)... dun ever stalk a ger lor...they will be scared and turned off too.
Well, guess it is just her way of showing that she wanna keep a distance from u.
Do u know if she is attached liao... your advancement seemed too fast and might hav scared her ... and she seemed to think u are trying to woo her than just to be a simple friend...and btw, it seems u wanna her from Day 1 to be your ger ger..
mi conclusion is tat dun brood on her and move on...and join the forum outings here...got good pple here (minus mi lah of course)... and who knows, 1 day u might find someone that treasures u...
good luck pal
_____________
i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
luking at the way u post here, u must be be suffering from OCD or commonly knwn as obsessive complusive disorder.
apparently the gal has no knowledge of yr existence in school 3yrs back or u mite have been just a plain weirdo n she was avoiding u all the while. Yr sudden appearance in her life must have given her a shock and yr OCD behaviour must be creeping her out. Chill out n take no as an answer.
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You could have asked her straight out somewhere else other than following her home.
If you followed a girl home, the girl has every right to think that you are some kind of a nutcase psycho stalker... her talking to you may be her being deathly afraid of you and trying to stall so that she can get away from you.
Your creepy behaviour has probably spooked and traumatised her.
Whatever your intentions, you blew it by following her home. Frankly, if she avoids you and tries to get a restraining order out on you, I would not blame her.
What to do now? Probably the best thing to do is to just leave things be and not do anything that may actually get you arrested for stalking and intimidating behaviour.
Serious.. -
well... will-power mi suppose...Originally posted by sgboy:I don't know whether you have such experience or not.
It is not that I don't wish to forget about her. But even I try to forget her, I will remember her again a few months later. What should I do?
u need to channel your energy to other things... fair statement u made...your infactuation for the ger is there cos there is nothing, or nobody else 4 u to focus on....pick up a hobby... or even to find a new ger ger...
time will heal all wounds... time will....
_____________
i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
take up guitar! heh
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Originally posted by sgboy:
WE ALL KNOW you *JUST* want to be her friend that's all. But sad to say - the method you use is not only repulsive, very turn off and it makes making friends difficult.
[b]I am in a dilemma now. 3 years back, when I was in secondary school, I got to know a girl who was then in Sec 2. I did not have any chance or courage to approach her. After my O levels in 2000, I left school and did not have a chance to see her anymore. Last year, I waited for her outside school. I wanted to be friend with her and decided to approach her when she steps out of the school. However, everytime she have been accompanied by her friends and I do not have the courage to go up to her.
Then got one time, I decide to follow her to her place and approach her. I did not know why at that time I have such intentions. Unfortunately, I lost track of her soon after because she was in the bus, while I am driving. The same evening, I was in IRC and I saw her in there. I chatted with her and to be honest with her, I told her that I followed her home. She was very angry with me and is also scare. I was disappointed. It is wrong or right for me to tell her the truth of following her home?
Soon after that, I stop thinking of her. However, in November last year, I want to be her friend and so I decide to look her up. This time round, I got her address. One day before her birthday, I waited for her at the void deck and I approached her. She was shocked at the moment. But later, I identify myself and she agreed to be my “friend”. I was so happy at the moment and we agreed to meet the next day so that I can give her a present.
On her birthday, I received a call from her saying that she will not be free that afternoon. I was so sad at that very moment. However, I got the present delivered to the place by the gift company. I confirm that she receives the present but why didnÂ’t she call me back. From then, it has been 3 months. No call, no letter, nothing from her. I have not given up.
I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL TYPE OF FRIEND WITH HER. Why canÂ’t she give me a chance to be her friend? What should I do now? Should I approach her again? I donÂ’t think I would like to do soÂ…. Should I write her a letter? But what happen if she doesnÂ’t replyÂ….
Please help me. [/b]
Your first mistake comes from telling that you are stalking her to her house - I mean think about this bah, is it neccessary to tell? No right! Then, by telling her that you *did* stalk her, the first thing that comes to her mind is her own safety, and *NOT* anything else. Come on, if someone stalk you, you don't feel good - Trust me. Especially women.
Her impression in you would be: A stalker, a freak, a weirdo, etc and *not* someone who wants to know her genuinely with a sincere heart. Its not your motive that is wrong... its YOUR way of doing things.
Seriously speaking - its difficult to alter the impression she has in you unless she is willing to give you a chance and don't mind getting to know you better - in which sorry to say, is virtually impossible.
Learn from your mistakes and vow never to resort to such stalking ways, etc - you only creates fear and uncomfortability in which *ANY* ladies will avoid you like a plague. Well, who doesn't make mistake anyway? Learn from it.
Cheers -
to stop stalking her will be a good start.
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Originally posted by sgboy:
My thoughts would be very much the same with the majority who has posted serious comments for you here...
[b]I am in a dilemma now. 3 years back, when I was in secondary school, I got to know a girl who was then in Sec 2. I did not have any chance or courage to approach her. After my O levels in 2000, I left school and did not have a chance to see her anymore. Last year, I waited for her outside school. I wanted to be friend with her and decided to approach her when she steps out of the school. However, everytime she have been accompanied by her friends and I do not have the courage to go up to her.
Then got one time, I decide to follow her to her place and approach her. I did not know why at that time I have such intentions. Unfortunately, I lost track of her soon after because she was in the bus, while I am driving. The same evening, I was in IRC and I saw her in there. I chatted with her and to be honest with her, I told her that I followed her home. She was very angry with me and is also scare. I was disappointed. It is wrong or right for me to tell her the truth of following her home?
Soon after that, I stop thinking of her. However, in November last year, I want to be her friend and so I decide to look her up. This time round, I got her address. One day before her birthday, I waited for her at the void deck and I approached her. She was shocked at the moment. But later, I identify myself and she agreed to be my “friend”. I was so happy at the moment and we agreed to meet the next day so that I can give her a present.
On her birthday, I received a call from her saying that she will not be free that afternoon. I was so sad at that very moment. However, I got the present delivered to the place by the gift company. I confirm that she receives the present but why didnÂ’t she call me back. From then, it has been 3 months. No call, no letter, nothing from her. I have not given up.
I JUST WANT TO BE A NORMAL TYPE OF FRIEND WITH HER. Why canÂ’t she give me a chance to be her friend? What should I do now? Should I approach her again? I donÂ’t think I would like to do soÂ…. Should I write her a letter? But what happen if she doesnÂ’t replyÂ….
Please help me. [/b]
Think over it yourself and it shouldn't be so hard to figure out...
1. Your 1st 'appearance'... A stalker and (perhaps in her eyes) a WEIRDO who 1st stalked her and then try to tell her his little 'fantasy'.... (I'm not saying you're doing that.. I'm referring to the likely impression she could have of you then...)
2. Your 2nd 'appearance'.... COMEBACK of the 'stalker' (probably the only impression she had of you then...? ) Her agreement to accept you as a 'friend' and your gift the next day was probably just to AVOID the 'potential danger' she thought could have been in then....?
3. Shouldn't be too surprised that she's avoiding another meet up with you... Didn't leave much of an impression for her in the beginning...? (err... Maybe except the bad ones..? )
4. It probably doesn't really matter to her whether your gift reaches her or perhaps (no offence) she have thought it better if you don't...?
NORMAL FRIENDS
1st of all, the things that you've been doing to her ain't exactly 'normal'... Likelihood she won't have any good impression of you by now... Your chances are SLIM... And SERIOUSLY, where do you intend to get about from here..? Just NORMAL friends..? If you're thinking along BGR, I'll STRONGLY urge you to STOP it from here... You've done enough to scare the wits out of this girl...
If you really care for her, perhaps you can just write her a final letter of EXPLANATION for the things that had happened and things you'd done... Try to make it MILD please... <- Not with those 'how much I love you' things... (you're probably gonna scare the hell out of her if ya do...) If she accepts your apology and don't mind being a pen-pal with you, perhaps you can just get to know each other better from there.... (no FUNNY tricks please...) If NOT, just REST THE CASE... I think you've DONE ENOUGH, and her response to your APOLOGY should be a message CLEAR ENOUGH to you.... DESPITE you can forget her OR not.....