what feeling is that?
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i waited for the same guy for 2 years. he rejected me 2 years ago. then it took him 2 years to realise his feelings for me and we got together recently then broke up after 2 mths.
we both know we are better off as friends, i know hes not the one for me. i got over him already, but there is this feeling in my heart that i cant explain, i dont know what to do.
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Originally posted by shugasweet:
i waited for the same guy for 2 years. he rejected me 2 years ago. then it took him 2 years to realise his feelings for me and we got together recently then broke up after 2 mths.
we both know we are better off as friends, i know hes not the one for me. i got over him already, but there is this feeling in my heart that i cant explain, i dont know what to do.
That feeling is probably "lingering".
Despite the fact that you knew he is not the one for you, you still long for him to be closer than a friend somewhere in your heart, and that is why you couldn't let it go.
This feeling is impossible to totally get rid of, so don't bother getting another bf just to try to make yourself feel better. You will only succeed in making yourself feeling even worse.
Just leave it be, and focus your attention and time on other stuffs in your life. As time gradually passes, you will start to have less of this feeling, and if you can stay away from this guy, all the better.
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but we were such good friends all along, do i really have to stay away from him to get rid of that feeling? i place no hopes in us being together anymore, its true, cuz i know our problems will always remain.
i want us to go back to being such good budds, although i know its impossible to turn back time.
i cant bear to lose such a good friend, or is it because of that special feeling all these years that we were even good friends in the first place.
it sucks having to go through that.
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Originally posted by shugasweet:
i waited for the same guy for 2 years. he rejected me 2 years ago. then it took him 2 years to realise his feelings for me and we got together recently then broke up after 2 mths.
we both know we are better off as friends, i know hes not the one for me. i got over him already, but there is this feeling in my heart that i cant explain, i dont know what to do.
I think u still like him. -
Originally posted by shugasweet:
but we were such good friends all along, do i really have to stay away from him to get rid of that feeling? i place no hopes in us being together anymore, its true, cuz i know our problems will always remain.
i want us to go back to being such good budds, although i know its impossible to turn back time.
i cant bear to lose such a good friend, or is it because of that special feeling all these years that we were even good friends in the first place.
it sucks having to go through that.
It is virtually impossible for the two of you to be good friends again, as a wedge has been driven between the two of you the moment both of you decided to break up.
This is life, a lot of stuffs are unavoidable and you will have to go through them.
Fantagf is right. For you to love him for 2 years and not give up on it despite the fact that you were rejected by him before, your feelings for him run really deep. No matter what you do, these feelings would not go away easily, and there would always be a bit of it in your heart.
On a side note, what problems are the two of you facing?
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our biggest problem is we never got past being friends. it wasnt natural for us to be couple. thats why. the relationship didnt turn out the way we thought it would. things were awkward so to speak.
i told him that i was willing to try harder if he still wanted to try with me, but he just thought it was going to take him very long, and he thought it would be unfair to me.
maybe hes just not that into me.
im determined to remove any romantic feelings i have for him, all i want is to still be good friends. its alot harder that i thought, or maybe like what you say, its just impossible.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
It is virtually impossible for the two of you to be good friends again, as a wedge has been driven between the two of you the moment both of you decided to break up.
This is life, a lot of stuffs are unavoidable and you will have to go through them.
Fantagf is right. For you to love him for 2 years and not give up on it despite the fact that you were rejected by him before, your feelings for him run really deep. No matter what you do, these feelings would not go away easily, and there would always be a bit of it in your heart.
Agree~When you lost a good friend, it feels almost like a family member died, or even worst because you tend to tell most of your stuffs to your friend & trust him more compare to some of your family members imo.
Gotta be a hard time for you. You can be friends, but i don't think it will be as close as before since you still love him. In the future, the sight of seeing him with another girl.. will you be able to accept it without giving them both 'black face' or have that hurting, betray feeling?
I suggest you put this it on hold 1st before consider whether or not to continue with this friendship, or at least wait for the feelingsto fade away before anything else.
Jia you babe
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thankfully it is only 2 months, move on and find the right guy darling
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Originally posted by shugasweet:
our biggest problem is we never got past being friends. it wasnt natural for us to be couple. thats why. the relationship didnt turn out the way we thought it would. things were awkward so to speak.
i told him that i was willing to try harder if he still wanted to try with me, but he just thought it was going to take him very long, and he thought it would be unfair to me.
maybe hes just not that into me.
im determined to remove any romantic feelings i have for him, all i want is to still be good friends. its alot harder that i thought, or maybe like what you say, its just impossible.
In short, he is not willing to try. I feel sorry for you in this case, for you should have given up on him 2 years ago.
To remove all romantic feelings for him and remain a good friend beside him is impossible. If you are talking about remaining associates, then I will say it isn't that impossible, but good friends - no way.
Move on with your life. It will be tougher than you thought for the two of you to be anything more than distant friends.
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Yes, move on , but if u look it will always be looking, seeking , be in a position to share, abundant, overflowing
It is the lack of friendliness in relationships that kills love, but remaining friends is a vulnerable & uncertain state - and so everybody wants to quickly own and make it mine or quickly seek a commitment. (The irony is that it is the friendship, the uncertainty, the vulnerability that had both parties yearning for each other - what a predicament!)
This results in bondage, feeling trapped - one forgets that its a human being - evolving, reduce it to a thing - its dead. A finished product!
As for the Mythical mr right or miss right - i doubt there is anyone as such, look around. Unless one is caged and not allow to evolve.
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sigh, i would give anything to go back to what we were like in the past. i feel so distant to him now, like i dont know this guy anymore. while trying hard to pretend nothing has happened and we are still good friends (we have common friends, thus we still see each other).
can i still get over him for good in this way? hes my first by the way. makes it harder yea?
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Nothing is hard lar, its your trying that has u in a bind, be friendly lar, be loving lar - expect nothing in return and if it comes back - its a bonus, but if it does not - u are still friendly lar, u are still loving lar! U have not lost what u are - its an immeasurably quality lar
The bird of paradise (symbol of love) only sits on an open palm - hence the vulnerability of relating, of being friendly, of being loving, one is uncertain as to whether it would last or not. But that is what sustains love - that is the paradox!
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Originally posted by shugasweet:
sigh, i would give anything to go back to what we were like in the past. i feel so distant to him now, like i dont know this guy anymore. while trying hard to pretend nothing has happened and we are still good friends (we have common friends, thus we still see each other).
can i still get over him for good in this way? hes my first by the way. makes it harder yea?
If you are going to continue to see him, then there is no way you will totally get over him. Most people will not forget their first love, thus you can stop trying to forget him.
You should only be worried if you keep thinking about him non-stop and it is affecting your daily life.
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two yrs for him to realise his feeling towards you? wow, that is way to long, prolly he felt lonely that point of time and realise you are always there waiting for him, he is only nice cause you like him, now he left you only after 2 month, hmmmmmmmm....tell you what, there's no love toward you, and don't tell me its take another two years for him to realise the lovey dovey feeling... get on with your life,treat him just like you treat all your friend,no special case....you'll get over it...
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yea, cuz another guy went after me, and i picked him over that guy. i never regretted my decision. the 2 years werent really waiting, it was just an on and off thing.
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yea, that was what i thought too. i think he just isnt that into me, and maybe its the same for me.
those 2 years werent really waiting, i wasnt expecting anything to happen anyways.
maybe our relationship started all because he was jealous and i was stubborn, not so much head over heels kinda love. its so funny now, how we can act as if nothing has happened, trying to be normal as possible.
its human nature isnt it, we just want things our way so stubbornly without taking a step back to get the clearer picture first?
i wont force myself to remove the feeling completely, cuz i know it wont happen. just happy to know that we are still friends.
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Be serious if u are going to be married tomorrow or next week. Otherwise, my suggestion - just flow and enjoy the journey, forget the goal, the destination. It may work or it may not work. It is worth when love is an unsung song of the heart.
U are here to celebrate and enjoy living - hope u can relate to that.
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Originally posted by JeromeTan91:
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but uhh the guy probably never really liked you.
Back in high school, my ex waited for me for over a year after we broke up (we dated for a grand total of 1 week) but yet I never took it to get back with her. It was only when I saw her getting close with this other guy that jealousy set in real bad, and I had to ask her out just to squash my jealousy. Till today, I'm not sure if I got back with her because I truly liked her again or if I just didnt want another guy having her.
I know this probably isn't something you want to hear, but seriously, get over him. You might not even have liked him when he asked you out- it's just human nature to want to have that sense of victory; after all, you DID wait for him for 2 years- surely that's what you want?
I agree with you, this might be what i'm doing all this time. We all make mistakes lah lol