My thread again.
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edited..
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Actually I am thinking lesser liao and too up abit of chanting to calm myself. But I still thinks abit of my gf on how come she can fall in love easily. My only concern is whether can I make her happy enough to stay with me in the future. My fears comes from the fact that she falls in love easily previously whenever she is in problems.
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Haven't we said everything we should in the previous thread? What more do u want...
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I am beginning to feel better. but still have abit of up down feelings..
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OMG!
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On top of all that previous advice. Most importantly would be, don't go and think so much.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Actually I am thinking lesser liao and too up abit of chanting to calm myself. But I still thinks abit of my gf on how come she can fall in love easily. My only concern is whether can I make her happy enough to stay with me in the future. My fears comes from the fact that she falls in love easily previously whenever she is in problems.
It is not that she falls in love so easily.
She is one of those girls who wants to have someone whom she can rely on, who can protect her and support her in her times of need. In short, she is a very easy girl to read, unlike some women who will put on all sorts of front.
Putting her ex-husband aside, the two men are just like many garbages around in SG, taking her on for a ride and treating her like a toy. I can never forgive such trashes who treat others as a play thing.
It was wrong for her to be unfaithful towards her husband, but her husband is obviously not that great a man too. She was just hoodwinked by "A" and "B", due to her simple-mindedness.
Indeed, she hidden some things from you, but that is because just like any other girls, she does not want you to hate her, and she does not want to lose you.
For her to be so direct now, to tell you that she wished that she never meet you and brought you so much pain, it means that she is in a great deal of emotional distress now; and also in a lot of pain.
The most important thing you can do is to show that you are the man who can be by her side no matter what to support her and protect her. If you were to continue to act like the man you are now, continously doubting her, continually questioning her, you would be no better than her ex-husband, just that in a different sense.
On a side note, I believe that myself and a few forummers have warned you not to bring this topic up as you would bring a lot of pain to yourself, and even more so to her....
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Bro Forbidden,
I am also stressed by her financial status now. She just recently paid rm 12k to her ex-husband to get his name out legally from the house in malaysia. Althought the ex-husband only paid rm 4k back in 2005 for the initial down payment and never paid for any monthly mortgage since the day they got the house. He asked for rm 12k in order to get his name out but she just gave it to him.
Right now she is on work permit so does not have cpf as well. Houses are so expensive but I think I can still afford a small one with my cpf. But I dunno how to work out her financial status. She did have abit of savings after I told her to save money. But her loans in malaysia is still in place.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Actually I am thinking lesser liao and too up abit of chanting to calm myself. But I still thinks abit of my gf on how come she can fall in love easily. My only concern is whether can I make her happy enough to stay with me in the future. My fears comes from the fact that she falls in love easily previously whenever she is in problems.
That one mess up lady !!!
Frankly i feel there is a lot of excuse given by her and you !!!Yes the husband - no good
Yes A - no good
I don't think you girl is that simple you put it - cold war with husband - look like she is able to stand up to him - not a little lamb.
Also knowing the complex of B is A brother - still have relationship with B - crazy !!!
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Bro Forbidden,
I am also stressed by her financial status now. She just recently paid rm 12k to her ex-husband to get his name out legally from the house in malaysia. Althought the ex-husband only paid rm 4k back in 2005 for the initial down payment and never paid for any monthly mortgage since the day they got the house. He asked for rm 12k in order to get his name out but she just gave it to him.
Right now she is on work permit so does not have cpf as well. Houses are so expensive but I think I can still afford a small one with my cpf. But I dunno how to work out her financial status. She did have abit of savings after I told her to save money. But her loans in malaysia is still in place.
See how easily she gives in to her ex-husband? That speaks a lot for how fragile and simple-minded a person she is.
Why should you be stressed with her financial status?
As long as she is not in debt, has a bit of savings, the two of you could slowly work something out together. It will be very tough for the two of you, I know, but there is no other way around.
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Originally posted by storywolf:
That one mess up lady !!!
Frankly i feel there is a lot of excuse given by her and you !!!Yes the husband - no good
Yes A - no good
I don't think you girl is that simple you put it - cold war with husband - look like she is able to stand up to him - not a little lamb.
Also knowing the complex of B is A brother - still have relationship with B - crazy !!!
Indeed her life is messup, but she entered a cold war with her husband only after 2 years, and that means she tolerate 2 years of emotional abuse from him, not to include the years while they were still dating.
"B" told her that "A" is a wolf in disguise, but he himself is no better. They are probably very skilled at hooking up girls, and combined with how naive Jerry's gf is, she was easily hoodwinked by them one after another.
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Jerry,
The more both of you exploit each other - know this lah - its a downhill slide.
As for money and other 'problems' it belies what is lacking or the manipulative stance - leave it to you to fathom the missing elements.
If she is looking thru u to have a future - u are in bondage lah. The same for you.
The predicament of so many relationships n marriages is this - they go into ... to see what they can get out of each other - hence the necessity to make it a relationship or legalize it into a marriage.
However, if both of u come together to partake of each other as INDIVIDUALS - the future may come or not come - but it will never feel like a fruitless journey.
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I did have a copy of the msn log between "B" and my gf. I saw and see how that guy talks and he is really very pesistant and kept on promising when my gf told him it would be better to be just frens. This guy also shows himself to be a nerdy upright person while working in that company and is very helpful to all colleagues.
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Hangover(s) - are utter waste of enegry lah. Words are birds. what is 'true' is rite in front of u - u present to the presence or absent?
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She is not in debts but only loans to service. But also because she is renting a room so have to fork out quite abit on rental. But I told her to save money and she did open a UOB acct and started saving. She also did not spend on clothes for a long time. But I will buy her some items like watches and bag because I saw her bag so old and torn.
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Bro Fugazzi,
I know wat u mean by exploiting each other. I do not mean that she is in financial problems I will avoid her. Just that I am abit worried financially only. I used to be making around 50k per year with bonuses but nowadays lesser due to financial crisis.
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i think i read this somewhere before, right?
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Bro limpper..
I have written here sometime back.
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One can worry - its understandable but it would suffice if one accepts and does what is within one's capability and optimize what is available lar.
Jerry, u can buy her anything - that is you and how she perceives it is for her and u to know.
All i m implying is that don't lose you self in a relationship and the same applies to her. Being appreciative and accepting what is frees another - of course, as always, it presupposes one has it within to traverse the peaks and valleys of one's journey - whatever the case it may be.
Perhaps this is what u may need to ponder over - has your relationship with her been a freeing one? Has it freed her as a human being - I mean your love or .... ?
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Bro Fugazzi,
I am getting slightly better after the last conversation with you guys. Still have abit of worries but no as much.
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Originally posted by storywolf:
That one mess up lady !!!
Frankly i feel there is a lot of excuse given by her and you !!!Yes the husband - no good
Yes A - no good
I don't think you girl is that simple you put it - cold war with husband - look like she is able to stand up to him - not a little lamb.
Also knowing the complex of B is A brother - still have relationship with B - crazy !!!
I dunno u mean if she is the real victim or not in this case? You mean there are more than meet the eyes in the story?
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Two weak minded persons together only spells DISASTER.
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Not really weak minded..but I am always confused.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Not really weak minded..but I am always confused.
That's just another lame ass excuse.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
I dunno u mean if she is the real victim or not in this case? You mean there are more than meet the eyes in the story?
He means that she is not the victim, and you should be more wary of her.
But in your current state, you are already keeping her at arm's length. Seriously, if you push her any further away, the relationship will totally fall apart.