insecure
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hi, this is my first post on sgforums.
ever since a friend i really treasured backstabbed me, i've become really insecure about all my friendships, even with the opposite sex. i get nightmares about the people i love leaving me and i have really low self esteem.
i'm sorry if i sound like just another 'emo' teenager, but i was depressed last year and i'm pulling myself out of that mess.
can anyone give me some advice on how to overcome this insecurity?
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Dont think too much about it and dont replay it in your head.
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Originally posted by afg:
hi, this is my first post on sgforums.
ever since a friend i really treasured backstabbed me, i've become really insecure about all my friendships, even with the opposite sex. i get nightmares about the people i love leaving me and i have really low self esteem.
i'm sorry if i sound like just another 'emo' teenager, but i was depressed last year and i'm pulling myself out of that mess.
can anyone give me some advice on how to overcome this insecurity?
How old are you?
When you say you were depressed last year, was it a clinical depression assessed by a psychiatrist or is it a self declared depression?
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You have to tell yourself that not every did the same as your that friend. Sort out your thoughts, nurse your hurt, disappointment, anger and move on.
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Learn to let go of people who does not deserve your attention. Give benefit of a doubt to other people and yourself new opportunities to forge better friendships.
Frankly, i know how you feel. I used to have the same problem with a friend but slowly i'm recovering, learn my lesson on friendships and move on to make new friends.
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to me, yr friend backstabbed u once. To u, yr friend backstabbed u alot of time. Everytime u think about the bad experience, he back stab u once more. Well, not everyone is like that. This world must be balance. U have good ppl, u must have bad ppl. You have the rich, then u must have the poor. Well, if u r worried abt making friends at work as i assume its a working scemario, just be aware. I know some ppl wear a mask wherever they go. Well, at least u get backstab by the person, u know he or she cannot be yr true friend. maybe u will realised who is a true friend to u. =)
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u sounded so "SISSY".
u mustta be those little spoilt brat who do nothing.
u don't need people to help u
u are a cry baby
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hey TS take it easy.
this is not the end of the world u understand. he/she is onli one of ur frd. but u still have alot of frd. no all pple will back stab each other.
i have been back stab b4 by my best frd.
:)
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it's part and puzzle of life to get back stabbed...
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
it's part and puzzle of life to get back stabbed...
yeah i agreed. But be aware of that when they stab you -
hmm..emo teenager can always opt to suicide..
backstab u..watch ur back..
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Originally posted by afg:
hi, this is my first post on sgforums.
ever since a friend i really treasured backstabbed me, i've become really insecure about all my friendships, even with the opposite sex. i get nightmares about the people i love leaving me and i have really low self esteem.
i'm sorry if i sound like just another 'emo' teenager, but i was depressed last year and i'm pulling myself out of that mess.
can anyone give me some advice on how to overcome this insecurity?
study well
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TS, how old are you???
Find someone you're comfortable to confide in, eg, close parent/sibling. Talk to them.
Let them know how you feel. I find that its the best way to get it off my chest. Might work for you. Give it a go.
Take care!
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There was an event that left an indelible scar, helped shape my future reactions in the event of confusion or betrayal, when I was 18, young, naive and clueless...
For years, my best buddy for years, my steady gt and I always went out together over weekends. We spent enjoyable times, and never did believe in 'lamp-post theory. We were close, very close. My buddy and I never had any jealousy over my steady gf. He was closer to me than my brother and was like a brother to my steady gf.
One day, during my NS in-camp BMT, I received a 'Dear John' call from my gf. Guess my best buddy took my words ' To take good care of my gf' too literally. My world crashed, and trust in others lost.
I shut down my emotions, and didnt care about anything, just simply followed orders, which fortunately BMT helped me. I was the cold emotionless one, doing things others fear or would hesitate, no questions asked.
In that state was where i hid, to find solace and comfort from hurt, but it was dark and lonely.
I am glad you realized the loneliness as I found out and want to get out of it. It is never good to remain in that state, for no human is meant to live lonely lives. It is friends that add colour to your journey of life.
However, the first step out of it is to regain confidence in yourself. Do small things and assure yourself you are capable of achieving success, before moving on. Look in the mirror, smile and love yourself. You are not a loser and never were. Your own success is guaranteed by your birth.
Out of hundreds of would be brothers and sisters, you won the race to be born.
Next step is to mix with others. No one is perfect or a mirror image of you. There are still more good people around than bad, and characteristics are relative and only a perception of how you relate to them or how they can relate to you, as friends and companions along the roller coaster journey of life.
Ultimately, it is self confidence to destroy insecurity. It is your life and only you can achieve it. No one else can do it on your behalf. You are never a loser unless you allow others to dictate/label you as one or act it out on your own free will.
Only when you start believing in yourself can you begin to live. We humans are not perfect, make mistakes and it is from it that we learn and mature.
Good luck.
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is talking bad behind a person one calls "brother" considered backstabbing?
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Talking behind ANYONE's back is never a socially acceptable behaviour. It denies others the right to counter or defend oneself. Yet....most of us human listen or worse, tend to believe in careless whispers...
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
Talking behind ANYONE's back is never a socially acceptable behaviour. It denies others the right to counter or defend oneself. Yet....most of us human listen or worse, tend to believe in careless whispers...
ooo...i have a classmate who calls everyone "brother"...it irritates me at times...we used to be close and stuff...until his fangs got exposed...
likes using ppl, infront so friendly, at the back call ppl dog and condemn ppl etc...
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Originally posted by Deino:
ooo...i have a classmate who calls everyone "brother"...it irritates me at times...we used to be close and stuff...until his fangs got exposed...
likes using ppl, infront so friendly, at the back call ppl dog and condemn ppl etc...
Be glad you found it out early. Such people are to be avoided as trustworthy friends.
...But then, I may be guilty of what I had written - humans tend to listen and believe to careless whispers - and I am responding to what you are saying 'behind his back'....sigh.....
Fortunately, this is only all virtual with no known identities, and only you alone can make decisons on insights expressed here for use in the real world...