Why is she so cold to me suddenly?
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My potential gf I mean.
Some background information: We got to know each other through work(yes, we are colleagues sitting barely a few metres from each other) I guess all those late night and weekend OTs have ignited sparks between us. I have feelings for her, she says the same thing but she said she wants to know me more before committing. Ok,I have no problem with that. We behave a bit like a couple sometimes-a slight peck here and there, a hug from time to time.
We were lovely dovey till the Tues just past. On Monday,her best female colleague gf had her last day at work. On Monday evening,my potential gf took over her seat,now she is across the room,no more physical proximity. From Tues till today, she has been pretty cold towards me. During the day,she is quite nonchalant towards me. But on Wed and Thurs mornings at 3- 4am,she sent me some lovey dovey msgs, but when day comes,she is back to her strange cold ways.
I am absolutely baffled.
By the way,she is a super emo gal with unbelievable mood swinging tendencies.
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Fear-based love (assuming its love lar) inexorably derails as the ego-rebounds to claim itself back.
U say - 'lovey dovey' - well, there were two human beings without any past/future encroaching in an existential herenow flow of love.
Real love is a here-now experience - sadly, many misintrepret the heart's hankering for eternity/infinity as a sign that one ought to quickly make it permanent.
Hence the fear of being possessed, fear of losing, fear of ....
As to what she is - it's for her to be, what matters - is what are u being? Being now or when u relate to her?
One cannot possess love, it is always bigger than one. One can at most, share, partake of it. Of course, it is possible to possess a person in the guise of love; what good is a dead, plastic flower?
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Simpler EL please...LOL!!!
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ask her for 1 night stand
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Simply put, if u love her, just love her lar, why wonder what is going to happen tomorrow. Of course, it is assuming u have it, one can only give or share what one has. By that I mean, what u have INSIDE of u.
Are u loving? are u kind? Are u grateful? Being kind, being loving, being grateful - u have nothing to lose. Cos it is your state of mind and being - u never will lose it. It was created from within u.
Cos u are so self-fullfilled in you (eg. love,acceptance,responsibility ...., that u no longer need to beg that someone love u , appreciate u.
The other may stay/not stay or another may come or not come - it is no longer relevant.
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Do u remember what u have did before she start blowing cold towards u?
Try to recall hard.. Btw, this is not a good sign. U maybe just a spare tyre to her.
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maybe she wants to draw a line between work and private life..? why not ask her out after work and talk about it..?
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You are just imagining things.
You go to office to work for the company.
You expect your friend to act lovey dovey and shower you with attention every hour while working in the office?
She is doing the right thing by separating work from personal life.
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Muse over this lar:
There is no 'better' place now, no 'better' world, no 'better' perons lar, It is only a question of one's stance. ie.what one is being now, always! One is either loving/kind or hostile/belligerent. Wherever one is or whoever one relates to, one carries it within. The loving lives ... loving world, the hostile lives ... hostile world. Same world.
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think is probably she is sitting too far away from you... she needs you... cannot concentrate on her work...
why not you just show her more concern and ask her what is happening... then it might just end up with you and her being rightfully together instead of this "underground" relationship...
Dont scare la... she is still interested in you because she sent you mushy messages at night..
Maybe over at her new place, she isnt adapted to the new environment? Or some other colleagues over at the new end are pesty or what??
Go ask her straight...
Good Luck!
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as you say... super emo gal, not committed yet, why you still need to ask?
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The relationship is currently underground. Is this a mutual agreement ?
You want, but do you give ?
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Originally posted by Marco_Simone:
My potential gf I mean.
Some background information: We got to know each other through work(yes, we are colleagues sitting barely a few metres from each other) I guess all those late night and weekend OTs have ignited sparks between us. I have feelings for her, she says the same thing but she said she wants to know me more before committing. Ok,I have no problem with that. We behave a bit like a couple sometimes-a slight peck here and there, a hug from time to time.
We were lovely dovey till the Tues just past. On Monday,her best female colleague gf had her last day at work. On Monday evening,my potential gf took over her seat,now she is across the room,no more physical proximity. From Tues till today, she has been pretty cold towards me. During the day,she is quite nonchalant towards me. But on Wed and Thurs mornings at 3- 4am,she sent me some lovey dovey msgs, but when day comes,she is back to her strange cold ways.
I am absolutely baffled.
By the way,she is a super emo gal with unbelievable mood swinging tendencies.
Firstly, Did you identify her. gals are listed 5 catorgiesSLUT
BITCH
Prositute
Party go er
MAMA Gals - I fear already extinct
If i not wrong, She is a Bitch. Forget her and move on.
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Originally posted by Marco_Simone:
My potential gf I mean.
Some background information: We got to know each other through work(yes, we are colleagues sitting barely a few metres from each other) I guess all those late night and weekend OTs have ignited sparks between us. I have feelings for her, she says the same thing but she said she wants to know me more before committing. Ok,I have no problem with that. We behave a bit like a couple sometimes-a slight peck here and there, a hug from time to time.
We were lovely dovey till the Tues just past. On Monday,her best female colleague gf had her last day at work. On Monday evening,my potential gf took over her seat,now she is across the room,no more physical proximity. From Tues till today, she has been pretty cold towards me. During the day,she is quite nonchalant towards me. But on Wed and Thurs mornings at 3- 4am,she sent me some lovey dovey msgs, but when day comes,she is back to her strange cold ways.
I am absolutely baffled.
By the way,she is a super emo gal with unbelievable mood swinging tendencies.
Gal got mood swing one. Maybe one wrong word make her avoid YOU. Her hormone and feelings for you gone forever. She will not care about u anymore.WHy i know. Cos my lady frz told me. They wun tell you the reason why.
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Wahahahaha....TS.....
I have a friend like what u describe.....super emo type
dun worry, just ask her straight what's wrong.....whatever her respons may be, just let her say it....dun interrupt her...
at times, guide or make her to say it or express it out....
u will then know what's going on.
good luck, TS
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I am a man of reason and logic, and find it undescribably hard to deal with women who goes on wild mood swings. One moment they could be the most reasonable person on Earth and the next the most frightening shrew one can ever get to know.
One part of me just wanna leave, but the other part of me tells to stay, because very often, mood swings are not faults of her own. It is a biological fact base on a female's hormones, which causes such swings.
Some experience it mildly, some just a simple passing occurence, some frighteningly prolong for days and even weeks. They would weep at the slightest things, or find fault at the smallest mistakes, or just plainly flare at anything and anyone, varying from female to female.
And when such hormonal changes stabalises, they revert back to normality. It is part and parcel of being female, our precious specimens, for in them will our next generation be formed. Hormonal changes are what makes them women with the capability to give birth, which we males will never be able to.
But we men, whom are spared of such frightening changes, on our part must not think less of them, or avoid them, but to make allowances for such behaviour and understand it, and help them deal with it by being patient, regardless if they are our gf or wives.They are simply being themselves - women, with varying degrees of hormonal changes.
As for TS, if you truly love her, then you must understand her changes, make allowances for it and help her deal with it. There are medicines avaliable for her to help her deal with it. It is not a pyschological disorder, never is, but alienation or without help, it will or may eventually lead to it.
I am no doctor, only sharing experiences of women aquintances whom had exhibited such conditions and learnt how to handle it. I hope you too may be able to deal with it, by understanding such conditions more from more professional sources.
Cheers.
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stupid.
She doesnt want the whole office to know
so simple
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Originally posted by xtreyier:
I am a man of reason and logic, and find it undescribably hard to deal with women who goes on wild mood swings. One moment they could be the most reasonable person on Earth and the next the most frightening shrew one can ever get to know.
One part of me just wanna leave, but the other part of me tells to stay, because very often, mood swings are not faults of her own. It is a biological fact base on a female's hormones, which causes such swings.
Some experience it mildly, some just a simple passing occurence, some frighteningly prolong for days and even weeks. They would weep at the slightest things, or find fault at the smallest mistakes, or just plainly flare at anything and anyone, varying from female to female.
And when such hormonal changes stabalises, they revert back to normality. It is part and parcel of being female, our precious specimens, for in them will our next generation be formed. Hormonal changes are what makes them women with the capability to give birth, which we males will never be able to.
But we men, whom are spared of such frightening changes, on our part must not think less of them, or avoid them, but to make allowances for such behaviour and understand it, and help them deal with it by being patient, regardless if they are our gf or wives.They are simply being themselves - women, with varying degrees of hormonal changes.
As for TS, if you truly love her, then you must understand her changes, make allowances for it and help her deal with it. There are medicines avaliable for her to help her deal with it. It is not a pyschological disorder, never is, but alienation or without help, it will or may eventually lead to it.
I am no doctor, only sharing experiences of women aquintances whom had exhibited such conditions and learnt how to handle it. I hope you too may be able to deal with it, by understanding such conditions more from more professional sources.
Cheers.
Yup...that's right.....be patient and at times help her....
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yeap. be patient.
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coz u too hot?
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U say: My potential gf I mean
Two seeds cannot relate, they are closed - at most, both remain potentialities. When the seed of one's being or the other sprouts or blossoms ..... one is able to relate all and sundry. Otherwise one has to (be) content oneself with superficialities: four persons - 2 personalities and behind these 2 personas - two individuals