Unprepared but wants to go for it?
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Hey.
Guys/girls hopefully u all help me. U see, I recently got this job interview from this bar at clarke quay. My parents has been supporting me while I'm searching for my job and finally I got one which is in clarke quay. I'm really happy because out of all the job, this is the ONLY job that accept me to be part of their staff.
But when I told my parents the good news, they dont take it quite well. Because the time schedule is from 7pm - 3am. It got transportation for those who are going home after midnight though. And furthermore, its a bar. So my parents worried that I might turn into those "spoiled" son because I've been hanging out with my friends who were most of them quite a drinker but i didn't. But my parents are worried about me and showing me some ignorant/sad faces. I dont know whether i suppose to take this job or not. Pls guys help, are your parents sometimes like this?
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how old are u?
is this just a part time job or u are going to make it ur career? -
Ur parents' anxiety and concerns (though well-meant) is unhealthy in the sense that they are projecting their ideals of what is 'good' and what is 'bad' on to u and i surmise that they expect u to conform.
Be open and listen to their opinions/suggestions views but always be aware n understand this: they are not u and they cannot perceive or see 'things' as you see or would see.
I would suggest be and do what u want to do with your life. Just be mature and most of all be responsible about it. By that i mean that you shoulder it and whether it is work or .... u don't point the fingers at someone else when things don't work out as you mite be inclined to expect them to be.
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Fireice, im 18. This is my part-time job
Fugazzi, So u were saying that my parents is not a boss of me that I can do whatever i want?. I think ur right. Its my life. But i got this scared feeling in me that I shouldn't take it but i want to... so confusing
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it's natural of parents to be protective and raising eyebrows on such jobs
they are not wrong in the sense tt they are afraid u might be led astray
so either u prove them right or u prove them wrong -
18 year old.. u shouldnt have problems getting a better job right? no job offers for posts like waiters in restaurants?
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FireIce, Ok. If i want them not to worry about me, i prove them wrong
Sonic, I am working as a waiter at bar.
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yes i know u mentioned waiter in a bar. but what i am saying is, get a more "decent" job, like a normal restaurant to set your parents mind at ease. anyway no offence to anyone working in pubs/bars..
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Originally posted by boi_cant tahan:
FireIce, Ok. If i want them not to worry about me, i prove them wrong
Sonic, I am working as a waiter at bar.
sonic is asking why dun u look for jobs like waiter in a resturant or some other jobs?
Or are u only looking like specific jobs, for example working in a bar?
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Being mature, Being responsible - u can be whatever u want to be and do with your life. It is nobody's business as long as it does not encroach or take away what another is or wants to be.
In this instance, your parents concerns is understandable. However, by not letting u be they are not allowing u to evolve, to mature. Sure, u may mistakes or u may not. It is irrelevant.
The point that i m trying to stress is that (even mine included) all suggestions/views/opinions proffered here having different perspectives: What matters is do they 'free' u . Do they resonate of u or with u?
Someone who cares for u will allow u to be and of course, by allowing u to be, they cannot assume responsiblity for what u are and do. That has to come from u.
As long as u understand that you are being mature and being responsible - u can b e whatever u want to. The maturity and the responsiblity of being oneself is more than enough to see u thru the course of everyday living. Things may be 'ok' and yet 'not be ok' - but u will manage!
PS: What u were in the past or think u are or even what u want in your life is just thoughts, the real thing - what are u being now. Are u being mature, are u being responsible or even are u being kind, being ....
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part time job? don't worry about it, you're work not going there to drink.
Just have to tell your parents to trust you. But you have to give them assurance lah. Like tell them what you do at work when you come back or such.
And just take the job first to try. can always keep finding another one
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Hmmm... TS seemed to be determind... guess u already made up ur mind before even posting and just wan some encouraging comments eh?
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But this is the only job that can take me. If I reject his offer, i may look for another job in a long time and i dont want to wait.
Fugazzi, i see. In a past, im kind of like those spoiled son thing. Not really spoil, just defiance towards my parents. But im beginning to change, hopefully they trust me.
acid, actually my job interview is tomorrow. I just need a strong confirmation that i should be going or not
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go & try out tomorrow den
meanwhile continue searching for a better job & quit lol
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Originally posted by s0nic:
18 year old.. u shouldnt have problems getting a better job right? no job offers for posts like waiters in restaurants?
u want him be pole dancer? -
U say: 'But im beginning to change, hopefully they trust me'.
Frankly, anyone n even ur parents are going to be what they are and think what they want to think. That is beyond your control. What matters is this and the question that u may want to answer in all self-honesty is whether - 'Do i trust myself'? This is within ur control.
If one is secure within, any job, any task, any situation can be handled despite the setbacks that one may find oneself in. There is no 'security' in a job lar, no 'security' in another person, If u are secure the insecurity of .. becomes irrelevant.
At most, one may be a catalyst for change or what-have-u in another. Be that catalyst - whether 'rite/wrong/good/bad' is subjective and relative to what is
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Originally posted by boi_cant tahan:
But this is the only job that can take me. If I reject his offer, i may look for another job in a long time and i dont want to wait.
Fugazzi, i see. In a past, im kind of like those spoiled son thing. Not really spoil, just defiance towards my parents. But im beginning to change, hopefully they trust me.
acid, actually my job interview is tomorrow. I just need a strong confirmation that i should be going or not
Working in a bar is ok de... Even if u are female and u work as hostess, u're not stealing or commiting murder so it's ok...
But do take note tat u lose alot of ur time when u work at night... It'll be very hard to meet up with ur frenz working in the day... Either they are working or u are working... Ur sleep timing is also disturpted... Do take note abt this when considering... Serious... Most people around ur age will think working in a bar is "Fun", "Cool", "Adult" etc... But actually it does comes with certain setbacks like i mentioned above...
why not take a try? u can always work first and look for other jobs in the meantime... Btw u're only 18... Havent go in NS right? and are u going to study more? All this comes into consideration for ur future... I'm sure u're not going to work as a waiter in a bar for ur whole life...
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Well, if you can 出进污泥而�染, then go for it...
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TS , are u the easily influence type?
If u are. I suggest u not to work at bar. It is undeniable bar/pub area is complicated workplace.
If u are clear mind and be quite sure what is right and wrong(Example: take drug under colleague influence). Go ahead for this job.
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most of those that gone bad say the same things like u before.
"i wont gone bad 1"
"i can control myself"
"i know wat im doing"
actually its
i dont know if i will gone bad
i cant control myself
i dont know wat im doing
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thank you guys. my dad decided to let me go and let me choose what is right for mine. All i hope is that i dont screw this up somehow. Im confident of what im doing but all of this "bad air" around me makes me even more feared
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a common habit people pick up while working in nightspots is smoking, that is if they haven't picked it up in poly or NS. make sure you don't pick it up. just make sure you don't say "ok I'll TRY" even if you do mix with smokers.
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Just prove your parents wrong and go for it.... It is just a part-time job anyway.
Nothing wrong with working as a waitor at a bar man, it is still a job.
Just like smoking and drinking, nothing wrong with those, but if you dont drink and smoke, dont pick them up. Keep a strong mind. If people there offer you to smoke, just say no politely. Learn to reject.
I support you.... Good luck!
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It's not good to work there la....
My concern for you is mainly health related....
Bad environment (such as smoking, loud music) and also lack of sleep due to 3am work shift, which means maybe you sleep at 4am or more.
I recommend you find a healthier one.