how to tell if a guy is serious about getting back with you?
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hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before...
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you should just meet him, say coffee bean, in this setting and ask him truthfully why he wants to patch ? let it be mutual. let him speak and hear. then u tell us. then we'll tell u whether he's true or not.Originally posted by mojomee:hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before... -
You should ask him for the reasons why he wants to be back with you. without a good reason, i think it's just "3 fen zhong re du".
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Don't rush into the relationship again, let time tell..Originally posted by mojomee:hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before...
At least ..It worked for me -
Arrh .. may i ask u one questions?Originally posted by mojomee:hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before... 
why was the reason for the break up at the 1st place?
If theres a problem as a reason for the break up at the 1st place,
Does the problem still exists?
maybe the reason for the break up tells you the answers???
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Not compatable means not compatable. I always see break and get back together, in the end still go seperate ways
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Promoting for Coffee Bean...?Originally posted by blue_kelvinsg:you should just meet him, say coffee bean, in this setting and ask him truthfully why he wants to patch ? let it be mutual. let him speak and hear. then u tell us. then we'll tell u whether he's true or not.
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when we broke up that time didn't solve any problems cos he felt we can't solve them so he rather just breakup. He doesn't think we'll ever be happy staying together....so till now we haven't solve them yet...sigh..thou he did say he will try to after we sort of got back but i dun see him putting in any effort in solving them...in fact it was i who suggested that we should sit down and talk thru our problems.
I wonder if you all will agree with me that sms is quite a lame way of communicating..esp during the period when you are trying to get back with s.o. He does call and tries to arrange for dates but till in the beginning when we got abck together he was worried to let others see us together. he also didn't tell me his intention abt getting back when he asked me out on the first date after we broke up. it's only after I asked him wat's he trying to do did he express his intention!!!...and when my friends are angry with him for being so stubborn about the breakup previously, he felt indignant that they should be...he's also rather unhappy that he's second priority in my life now after my family.....till now he still dun dare to come and visit my family or bring me home to visit his. Little things that he promised after we got back together like going to watch Chicago, making new specs after we get our pay, lending me a textbook etc...he didn't even try to fulfil them! how can he hope to earn back my trust if he is so insincere?! The most champion thing he did was telling me not to put my hopes too high that this relationship being able to work out again!!! .....
can anyone explain his mentality? i really try to be nice and tolerated all his wishy-washiness and his lack of effort but i feel that this can't be the way....wat should i do....
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Originally posted by mojomee:
dun know abt u but he sound so the not sincere....u sure u 1 to risk ur heart being broke by him again? my 2 cents worth of advice is...unless u r sure tt he will not break ur heart again, it is not worth it
when we broke up that time didn't solve any problems cos he felt we can't solve them so he rather just breakup. He doesn't think we'll ever be happy staying together....so till now we haven't solve them yet...sigh..thou he did say he will try to after we sort of got back but i dun see him putting in any effort in solving them...in fact it was i who suggested that we should sit down and talk thru our problems.
I wonder if you all will agree with me that sms is quite a lame way of communicating..esp during the period when you are trying to get back with s.o. He does call and tries to arrange for dates but till in the beginning when we got abck together he was worried to let others see us together. he also didn't tell me his intention abt getting back when he asked me out on the first date after we broke up. it's only after [b]I asked him wat's he trying to do did he express his intention!!!...and when my friends are angry with him for being so stubborn about the breakup previously, he felt indignant that they should be...he's also rather unhappy that he's second priority in my life now after my family.....till now he still dun dare to come and visit my family or bring me home to visit his. Little things that he promised after we got back together like going to watch Chicago, making new specs after we get our pay, lending me a textbook etc...he didn't even try to fulfil them! how can he hope to earn back my trust if he is so insincere?! The most champion thing he did was telling me not to put my hopes too high that this relationship being able to work out again!!! .....
can anyone explain his mentality? i really try to be nice and tolerated all his wishy-washiness and his lack of effort but i feel that this can't be the way....wat should i do.... [/b] -
If the problem is not solve,
theres no point for the patch,
it was the problem that cause u to break up the 1st time,
it will cause U to break up the 2nd time !!
my
advice -
if he loves u, he won't break up wif u liao...
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As simple as it is, he is not sincere at all. If one isn't sincere and serious in anything, nothing is going to work out.
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Originally posted by mojomee:
PERSONAL ADVICE. DROP the relationship.
when we broke up that time didn't solve any problems cos he felt we can't solve them so he rather just breakup. He doesn't think we'll ever be happy staying together....so till now we haven't solve them yet...sigh..thou he did say he will try to after we sort of got back but i dun see him putting in any effort in solving them...in fact it was i who suggested that we should sit down and talk thru our problems.
I wonder if you all will agree with me that sms is quite a lame way of communicating..esp during the period when you are trying to get back with s.o. He does call and tries to arrange for dates but till in the beginning when we got abck together he was worried to let others see us together. he also didn't tell me his intention abt getting back when he asked me out on the first date after we broke up. it's only after [b]I asked him wat's he trying to do did he express his intention!!!...and when my friends are angry with him for being so stubborn about the breakup previously, he felt indignant that they should be...he's also rather unhappy that he's second priority in my life now after my family.....till now he still dun dare to come and visit my family or bring me home to visit his. Little things that he promised after we got back together like going to watch Chicago, making new specs after we get our pay, lending me a textbook etc...he didn't even try to fulfil them! how can he hope to earn back my trust if he is so insincere?! The most champion thing he did was telling me not to put my hopes too high that this relationship being able to work out again!!! .....
can anyone explain his mentality? i really try to be nice and tolerated all his wishy-washiness and his lack of effort but i feel that this can't be the way....wat should i do.... [/b] -
Alternatively, you can mention a BREAK and see what's his reaction?
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lousy ways of resolving conflicts.
failing to acknowledge the problem
withdrawal
ignoring the conflict's significance
spiritualizing
keeping score
attacking the person instead of the problem
blaming someone else
desiring to win no matter what the cost and giving in to avoid the conflict
buying a special gift for the other person -
erk...dun get it..Originally posted by dumbdumb!:lousy ways of resolving conflicts.
failing to acknowledge the problem
withdrawal
ignoring the conflict's significance
spiritualizing
keeping score
attacking the person instead of the problem
blaming someone else
desiring to win no matter what the cost and giving in to avoid the conflict
buying a special gift for the other person
buying special gift..desiring to win?..hmm... -
since hes still as uncertain and as confused as before.. wait till he doesnt show it anymore... give urself a time limit... if he cant prove himself by then... give up on him...Originally posted by mojomee:hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before... -
Originally posted by mojomee:
since his attitude is like not sincere at all... be brave and look for a new and more wonderful relationship elsewhere... not worth ur effort in such a stubborn and insensitive guy.. personal opinion only.. hope u dun mind...
when we broke up that time didn't solve any problems cos he felt we can't solve them so he rather just breakup. He doesn't think we'll ever be happy staying together....so till now we haven't solve them yet...sigh..thou he did say he will try to after we sort of got back but i dun see him putting in any effort in solving them...in fact it was i who suggested that we should sit down and talk thru our problems.
I wonder if you all will agree with me that sms is quite a lame way of communicating..esp during the period when you are trying to get back with s.o. He does call and tries to arrange for dates but till in the beginning when we got abck together he was worried to let others see us together. he also didn't tell me his intention abt getting back when he asked me out on the first date after we broke up. it's only after [b]I asked him wat's he trying to do did he express his intention!!!...and when my friends are angry with him for being so stubborn about the breakup previously, he felt indignant that they should be...he's also rather unhappy that he's second priority in my life now after my family.....till now he still dun dare to come and visit my family or bring me home to visit his. Little things that he promised after we got back together like going to watch Chicago, making new specs after we get our pay, lending me a textbook etc...he didn't even try to fulfil them! how can he hope to earn back my trust if he is so insincere?! The most champion thing he did was telling me not to put my hopes too high that this relationship being able to work out again!!! .....
can anyone explain his mentality? i really try to be nice and tolerated all his wishy-washiness and his lack of effort but i feel that this can't be the way....wat should i do.... [/b]
but wats impt is u live happily no matter wat happens! rem u haf frens! -
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send him for the lie-detector test
To maintain Law & Order is my duty -
...sigh..... =(
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If things cannot work out... NVM!!! GOT MEE!!!!! Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...... -______-'''Originally posted by shaunlaw:since his attitude is like not sincere at all... be brave and look for a new and more wonderful relationship elsewhere... not worth ur effort in such a stubborn and insensitive guy.. personal opinion only.. hope u dun mind...
but wats impt is u live happily no matter wat happens! rem u haf frens!
Back to business... from wat U said abt him... seems he isn't really sincere.. more like he juz lonely & cannot find other gals... (pathetic...)
Many here adviced against continuing dis r/s... I too m 1 of them... (Coz I wanna buaya U!!! Shit... me more & more like SGboy2004... joking, ha ha ha) but its yr life... yr call... juz make sure U dun regret yr decision... -
er ai yah no matter how u patch back the scar will still b there 1 lah..juz reconsider lah..dun too rush into okie... Dun bcoz of a tree let go of the who forest :q
*i'm part of the forest*
*i'm part of the forest* -
Hm... If u felt that you will be happy with him once more. Give him a chance. But hey dun u rush. Go slow, just like before u 2 got together...Originally posted by mojomee:hi all...i've a problem here...dun really know wat to do
my bf broke up with me nearly half a yr ago and now he wants to get back together. how can i know if he's sincere about it or just cos he's feeling lonely at that point of time? he's still as confused and as uncertain as before...
dun make urself so easy for him. This way give u time to c whether is he sincere a not.
End of e day, you must feel that it is worth being together and that you and him would be happy abt...
all e best cheers.!! -
....guess wat, after i was angry with him for abt a week for sth he did which i tot was rather insincere, he decided that getting back causes him, and me, too much hurt....and since no matter wat he did also can't win back my trust (not like he did much), he gave up again..so much for being serious abt wanting to get back... this whole 'getting together' event only spans 3 months!!. ..i must have made it too easy for him.....