Should i give up on her?
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Her background:
- Malaysian, age below 25.
- Seperated with her ex-husband ard 3 years (still not sign the divorce agreement in Malaysia).
- Abortion before
- Have a below 10 years old daughter (with her ex-husband).
- Currently holding work permit and work in singapore, share a rent room with her colleague.
- Have 5 unhappy relationship before.
- Average looking.
How we know each other:
- My sister's friend.
Time we know each other:
- 1 month plus.
Her reasons to end our relationship:
- Thinks that all men re the same, treat her good at first and slowly dun care her in future.
- She dun want to have child again.
- She dun like to have sex (her past experience terrified her).
- She dun want to married again.
- She dun want to be hurt again.
- She not intend to stay in Singapore for long, probably will go back KL in future.
- She said if she continue to be with me she have a lot of things to think eg. how my parents look on her, no freedom of leaving Singapore back to KL as and when when she tried of working becos im in Singapore. Have to make arrangement to sign the divorce agreement where she dun have the time to do so. (Cos her current job working hours is very demanding)
- She mind her past and thinks that it is very unfair to me. She wants me to find a better one and insists that she is not good. she said I will be very stress and tired in future if we are togather which she dun want to.
- She thinks I will regrets in future.
For me:
- Singaporean, age near 30.
- Been through 2 unhappy relationship before.
- Have the 'feeling' with her.
- Im very serious in relationship.
- I love her so I dun mind her past. (I knew all her past on the 2nd weeks we know each other)
- I dun mind not getting married or have child and my parent knew this (before i know her)
- Im very sure that I will not regret to be with her.
- My parents are very understanding.
- My parent know we are very close friend (maybe already guess we are togather) but they dunno her background
Conclusion:
- I will tell my parent about her past soon and hope they will accept her.
- If love someone should not mind her/his past.
- I will do my very best to convince her to be with me again (yesterday she break up with me)
- Should i give up on her? No!!!
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self answered? wtf???
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okay self answered liao.
close thread and lock. -
LOL!
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LOL .
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She has a lot of baggage. You can accept her now but what about 5,10,15 and many more years later? When both of u have arguments in future, will you dig up her past?
It's up to you. One can have the "feeling" with many people in their lifetime depending on opportunity. As the two chinese words go....yuan fen. You have the yuan but do u have the fen? Not necessary.
However, if you really really love her and is prepared to carry her baggage, then why not?
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self-answered. so...........
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TS,
U have the ghosts of the past haunting u. how can u possibly not look into her past or forget.
Eg, If i m a person who is very self-conscious of my image or eg character the first thing i would look for in a another is image/character. What the other is now is likely to be ignored.
The other thing is - if one brings a pet- dog home and wants it to behave like a human or even another pet (cat or ...) one is setting up oneslef for failure.
U say u ; 'Have the 'feeling' with her.' Whether u understand or not, this is what it is - she is merely reinforcing your ego and giving u a centre. ( If u care to read more n understand - read the posting to ORIGAMIST : the past is a cancelled 'cheque - ......
As it is now, u posting here is also in a way asking, seeking opinions, views/advice cos in a way one feel lost, confused - cos the centre is not from witin u. Of course, it is not rite/wrong but knowing makes a difference.
PS - Frankly, it befuddles me why parents need to accept or give u approval stamp!
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Just now spoken to my parent about it. Just as i expected, they told me 'As long as you truely love her, we have no objection.'
I really feel relieve now. Just msg her and will meet her tonight...
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the girl is age below 25. let's assume 24.
the child is age below 10. assuming that means 9 years.
so means she had the kid when she was 15? and was in sleeping terms with the ex husband at maximum age of 14?
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why not assume 24 yo and 1 yo ? -.-
so negative u
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Its always your decision.
Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
Its your life, live it.
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seems she's got plenty of issues, mostly psychological....personally i would not go ahead cos' i can forsee many things to deal with in the future but best wishes to you........
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Ok. TS go marry her and few years later come back and update us your progress with her
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you have already provided an answer yourself and you have the affirmation from your parents to go ahead. Why are you asking our view? I just feel that she's not ready for another relationship yet. Maybe, you can have a relationship with her and see if the 'feeling' you had with her can last ... Trusting on feeling alone isn;t a wise choice because the challenges of relationship take more than feeling to sustain.
Maybe, take some time to see both of you share any common interest, common priority, common goal. Men and women have different needs thus you need to understand yourself before you can be any damsel in distress hero'
At age 25, the poor girl has gone thro' enuf of broken relationship to withstand another rejection.
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hey crazy self answering TS.
find another girl la.
u don't love her. if u love her u won't be posting here.
u don't have confident.
how can u love someone when u post in these forums asking crazy people for advice.
u better stop loving anyone.
For a right mind person, they won't post their love problem in a forum to ask for advice.
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So wad u want us to do?
U got ur ans alrdy wad.
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Originally posted by yiha093:
LOL .
Don't laugh at others so fast....You still have 14 years before 30....
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Originally posted by Pro-Socialism:
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