Do guys have to be talkative?
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in order to get a gf? As some of the common visitors of this category, a lot of them might remember that I always have problem with BGR, always having problem in wooing girls and stuff like that. For a guy like me, I don't like to talk, I keep my mouth shut and only open it when it is needed to. I've seen a lot of my friends got their soul mate or other half, almost 100% of these friends are talkative. I wonder for a guy like me, don't like to talk, fated to be a loner? Btw, some might remember my previous post, that problem wasn't solved yet.
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If one be oneself and relate - why justify?, why compare? - n if one is justifying, comparing what one is - then one is bound to feel inadequate and even if one goes into are 'relationship' one is bound to derail along the way.
It is a sign n symptomatic of one who is INsecure! Reconciling and accepting what one is would stand one in good stead for what may or may not come.
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If one can be oneself and relate - why justify?, why compare? - n if one is justifying, comparing what one is - then one is bound to feel inadequate and even if one goes into a 'relationship' one is bound to derail along the way as one's ability to relate is stunted by the doubtful stance.
It is a sign n symptomatic of one who is INsecure! Reconciling and accepting what one is would stand one in good stead for what may or may not come.
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i've seen quiet guys snagging beautiful girls, it may be you some day.
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TS. i think you'd match well with someone with a similar personality as you.
ya. you wont get some talkative loudmouthed chiobu, but maybe a softspoken and shy one that suits you well.
So. on a positive note, dont worry!
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Or perhaps you'd one day be with an outgoing girl who takes intiative and 'goes for you'.
=D
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Originally posted by henshin:
in order to get a gf? As some of the common visitors of this category, a lot of them might remember that I always have problem with BGR, always having problem in wooing girls and stuff like that. For a guy like me, I don't like to talk, I keep my mouth shut and only open it when it is needed to. I've seen a lot of my friends got their soul mate or other half, almost 100% of these friends are talkative. I wonder for a guy like me, don't like to talk, fated to be a loner? Btw, some might remember my previous post, that problem wasn't solved yet.
Get a Vietnam bride, problem solved. : D
Back to the topic, if you are not a talkative person, then there is no point in forcing yourself to be talkative. You will just be pretending to be someone who is not yourself.
When it comes to getting a gf though, don't wait. If you find one whom you like, just boldly ask her out.
Side Note: You are not the only one who remained the same, Fugazzi didn't changed as well.
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ok.. i agree with forbidden. Except for the vietnam bride part. That one, worst case scenario, touchwood, i hope you wont need to resort to.
But yep. Be yourself.
---"Oh yes, im the great pretender.. lalalala.." hahha. just dont do that.!
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Communication is a very important part of r/s. Without fruitful or adequate communication. How do u expect other to understand u more?
Talkative no need. But sometimes , u need to be a bit witty in yr conversation and thing can be explain more specific/details.
Don't give one or 2 words reply when a question is asked. Have a aim in yr questioning or convesation. Talks is important. U need to change your way of dislike talking.
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Talking is very very important....
Talking serves as communication tool....and bonding tool.....
You need to master the techniques of talking....it's necessary and important.....especially to make new friends, get closer to someone, and so on....
You can't just keep quiet and talk minimally, that won't make you achieve anything....
Especially during initial phase....in any relationship or friendship.....if you are too quiet, it makes the other party uncomfrotable....
You can talk minimally only among close friends (many years) and family members, other than that, talking is a requirement.....
I myself also have this problem (naturally introverted and quiet), but I think this is something that can be improved and learned gradually.
A good way to talk about something....is to find a neutral topic....such as your environment.....some object...some food...or other neutral and light topics....and you can also sometimes talk about personal stuff...but dont push too much.....
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Find a talkative girl lah.
She yak nonstop. You keep quiet.
Not good both silent type.
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guys dun need to be talkative to get a girl.
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oh well i find myself the quiet time, i won't take the intiative to get to know girls... must be the reason why i don't get laid nor get dates...
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Originally posted by mancha:
Find a talkative girl lah.
She yak nonstop. You keep quiet.
Not good both silent type.
But after marriage you will find her a nightmare. XD
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lol u force urself to be a talkative guy, then when u managed to woo a girl that like "your fake type personality" then one day u got tired of faking ur personality, ur girl dun wan u... worse right?
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Originally posted by wonderamazement:
oh well i find myself the quiet time, i won't take the intiative to get to know girls... must be the reason why i don't get laid nor get dates...
Same.
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no. just be yourself. some of the girls in my circle of friends actually find quiet guys more cool than talkative guys. they are mysterious and not too eager to please. sometimes talkative guys can be a turn-off, especially when 90% of their words are rubbish.
however, i agree with veggiebao that talking is an important tool for communication. if u dont talk, no matter how awesome u are, the girl wont know, hence u wont get the girl. of course..there is another way to snag a girl without talking- use body language and actions. if u like a girl, make more eye-contact with her, give her little gifts, be sensitive to her needs, surprise her.
good luck!
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no, being talkative does not get you the girls. being quiet will get u attention but not the girls either.
the key is being knowledgeable, tactful, witty with the right timing.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
no, being talkative does not get you the girls. being quiet will get u attention but not the girls either.
the key is being knowledgeable, tactful, witty with the right timing.
chemistry and feel la. also appearance is also important. if you look proud or arrogant type when people meet you for the first time, its a put off and people dun feel like knowing or chatting with you.
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There are silent killers ;)
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talkative???what kind of topic u talk to gal??dont talk all the bull shit.....................go read up some newspaper at least can talk something meaningful..................
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Originally posted by Babyball77:
talkative???what kind of topic u talk to gal??dont talk all the bull shit.....................go read up some newspaper at least can talk something meaningful..................
talk about the works of stephen hawkings.
there will be 2 outcomes.
either the girl sibei impressed, or you kena 10 tight slaps and your neck break, and head drop off.
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Don't talk is also capable of catching attention? For my case, it wasn't like this.
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Originally posted by henshin:
Don't talk is also capable of catching attention? For my case, it wasn't like this.
depends who you mix with lo. if you go out with the loudmouthed group, of course wont click.
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What a few have already said here are right, it's not about being talkative but rather about communication. Besides, rambling on and on when the other person is not interested doesn't help either.
Do you consider yourself a good listener?
What matters is that you and the other person can open up to each other. Like some say it's chemistry. Don't be too anxious, when the time comes just let it happen. No point trying too hard.
How old are you by the way?