Would you accept a divorcee with a child?
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One of my friends recently fell in love with a woman in which he met online.
They went out many times over a few months and in the end they decided to get together.
But then he found out that she was a divorcee and she had a child. (dunno how old also)
So how? should he give it up? go ahead?
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Why give up? If your friend truly love her, the child should not be a problem. He should accept her child too...
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Well for one.
He is at a crossroads in his career. He just started a new job, the pay isn't fantastic.
So it might be difficult in the future la if things get more complicated.
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U say - 'he fell in love' - did he fall in love with the pixs in his head n found these pixs in her. This is not love - mere projection. Only he may understand or know what is true.
The other thing is if this 'tip-toeing' stance towards her or the 'relationship' persists - it will certainly derail along the way.
If what i mentioned holds true - then know this lar - whoever this guy is lacks self-love, self- .... how to hold things together. At most, it is using each other for each others benefits. When the needs are no longer there - what happens?
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Originally posted by Alpha Omega:
Well for one.
He is at a crossroads in his career. He just started a new job, the pay isn't fantastic.
So it might be difficult in the future la if things get more complicated.
.....why your friend so negative? If her girlfriend also work, that shouldn't be a problem. Only one child, not three or four. -
Originally posted by Alpha Omega:
One of my friends recently fell in love with a woman in which he met online.
They went out many times over a few months and in the end they decided to get together.
But then he found out that she was a divorcee and she had a child. (dunno how old also)
So how? should he give it up? go ahead?
Uhh.. soo.. the divorcee part or the child part a problem ?
I don't quite get it. But are those your concern or your friend's concern ?
Ya know, as a friend, you should be supporting whatever decision your friend makes, as long as it makes him happy.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Uhh.. soo.. the divorcee part or the child part a problem ?
I don't quite get it. But are those your concern or your friend's concern ?
Ya know, as a friend, you should be supporting whatever decision your friend makes, as long as it makes him happy.
More of the Child part.
He is my best friend and i know him for over 10 years. So of course as a good friend i am concerned for him.
I am afraid later his financial future not secure, got alot of problems will arise.
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Originally posted by Alpha Omega:
More of the Child part.
He is my best friend and i know him for over 10 years. So of course as a good friend i am concerned for him.
I am afraid later his financial future not secure, got alot of problems will arise.
What gripe have you against a child ?
How well do you know that woman to judge her with such negativity ?
And what kind of problems related to finances do you forsee ?
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Like i said his income is not very high.
The girl's income is also quite low considering she working more than 8 years if i recall, and she's a diploma holder. (less than 2k a month)
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Originally posted by Alpha Omega:
Like i said his income is not very high.
The girl's income is also quite low considering she working more than 8 years if i recall, and she's a diploma holder. (less than 2k a month)
Uhhh.. okaaaayyy.. and why is money a big concern.
At least you know she ain't with him for da chah ching !!
Ya shoulda be happy for him dude.
Anyhoo.. it's ain't yer business, and he ain't need your approval to date any woman.
Have a good day dude, and go get excited o'er something else , OK ? Good.
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better to reject cos feeding a kid isnt 1 or 2 dollars.
Just ask him to calculate how much his parents have spent on him up till now. And also the kid is not his. Wat if one day the gal decided to end ties with him? He lost everything including the investments he did on the kiddo.
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i dont find its a burden on this r/s. i gt a gf who recently married. they r nw living happily.
most impt is, does ur friend love her? willing to accept her wif 2 kids. love can overcome all these.
if he cant accept, is better to leave her earlier.
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it's always easier to say accept when you are not the one with the situation..
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divorcees with kids are common these days. Think in time to come the govt will come out with something to encourage people to accept
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Originally posted by Alpha Omega:
Like i said his income is not very high.
The girl's income is also quite low considering she working more than 8 years if i recall, and she's a diploma holder. (less than 2k a month)
Indeed, money is a concern in Singapore. But the biggest concern should be whether your friend is able to accept her child or not. If he is unable to accept the child, his relationship with her will be strained as a result of this.
Money can be spent, money can also be earned. As compared to feelings, money should be given less priority.
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i know of someone who divorced his wife and be with a divorcee with a child
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lol buy one get one free.. isnt that a good thing.. singaporean will like it alot when it comes to good deal..
the living expenses is very high.. your friend should seriously consider.. anyway if he dont mind living a poor life and giving the child nothing much then he can jolly well accept her and her child..
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i also know a 30+ or 40 yr-old prof
bachelor
got involved with a PRC 50+ yr-old with daughter 18 yrs old
why he don't just go for the daughter?
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Originally posted by noopi:
i also know a 30+ or 40 yr-old prof
bachelor
got involved with a PRC 50+ yr-old with daughter 18 yrs old
why he don't just go for the daughter?maybe he get the old one first so when they live together, its easier to get the younger one.. right?
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yeah right
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why give up.
if u give up because she is divorcee, u don't deserved her. don't waste her time. another better guy will have her.
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good ma , have a child , buy 1 get 1 free !!!
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but its not your child
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Why not?
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The word divorcee should not be an issue.
Its the woman with a child. And the question to ask is:
Would you accept a woman with a child?
So in the r/s an extra element is added for consideration.
Thats all.
As for the past, everyone has a past.