Playing second fiddle
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Thanks for letting me to vent myself...
Actually just want to share...
I feel sometimes a bit sad....because I feel that I am often at a position of second fiddle....
A lot of times, I didn't notice it, or didn't take it to heart.
But lately when I am thinking about myself, and my past, I can see that I am often a second fiddle player...
When I was a kid, often times I would be sidelined, I guess I am not a popular kid, and as I grow older, same thing still happened / persisted.
In terms of social standing, I am a jealous person. Always want to be the first, forefront, but I am only 2nd rate. Actually it's true.
And I have a problem in that I can feel jealous or envious, although it's subtle, but I would be asking myself, why I can't be that person.
For example.....my cousin is so tall, handsome, rich (son of tycoon level), and very easily get the attention of ladies. It's always like this. One time when I go with him, we were on holiday and touring, and the tourist guide, a sweet young lady, almost latched herself onto him and chit chatted with him so happily. Hey, what about me?
Actually thinking about this, since I was young, my best friends were all also mostly tall and handsome guys, now I realize I must have looked like a sidekick back then.
I still remember how some girls would ask me about my best friend, where he was etc, as if I am some kind of secretary maybe, or a sidekick.
In family life I am also dealing with some issues, as I am the second child (out of 4), and I have an elder sister. This is probably a bad setting because I would feel uneasy and uncomfortable growing up. My sister is very dominating, we didn't have a good relations.
But anyways I have come to peace with my sister and my family life (I think) because I am getting older now.
Haizz...thinking back, I have also never been given any leadership position, in anywhere, usually at most I become a vice-something, or a deputy-something, never the number 1, or I get to become number 1 but only after a rotation.
So that is the story of my life, a nice guy, boy next door, who plays second fiddle.
Thanks for listening.
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work on yr strengths.
AA -
there're also girls who like nice, next-to-door guys. dun despair. lol
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hey i feel like you most of the time too - but several years ago. Till I discovered the best way out of this situation is to forgo your best friend(s) friendship and treat them more like aquiantences, and establish a new pecking order... with all the skills that you've learnt over the past from them
Develop new friendships whereby you're leading the pack or you're enjoying equal level friendships - just hanging with the guys. Stop saying yes to everything they ask of you - ie... "let's go hang out..." say you're busy and truly be busy with something at that point of time with something you enjoy doing more. If you enjoy nothing more than hanging out with them, then I say you got a problem and you either gotta suck it up and live with this shit your whole life or be a man by yourself.
Handsome doesn't do crap but gives one an unrealistic sense that all men are created unequal when deep down inside they truly are. It is just the way they look at life. If you see your own sense of self worth not in the social ladder, then everything will fall in place.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
Thanks for letting me to vent myself...
Actually just want to share...
I feel sometimes a bit sad....because I feel that I am often at a position of second fiddle....
A lot of times, I didn't notice it, or didn't take it to heart.
But lately when I am thinking about myself, and my past, I can see that I am often a second fiddle player...
When I was a kid, often times I would be sidelined, I guess I am not a popular kid, and as I grow older, same thing still happened / persisted.
In terms of social standing, I am a jealous person. Always want to be the first, forefront, but I am only 2nd rate. Actually it's true.
And I have a problem in that I can feel jealous or envious, although it's subtle, but I would be asking myself, why I can't be that person.
For example.....my cousin is so tall, handsome, rich (son of tycoon level), and very easily get the attention of ladies. It's always like this. One time when I go with him, we were on holiday and touring, and the tourist guide, a sweet young lady, almost latched herself onto him and chit chatted with him so happily. Hey, what about me?
Actually thinking about this, since I was young, my best friends were all also mostly tall and handsome guys, now I realize I must have looked like a sidekick back then.
I still remember how some girls would ask me about my best friend, where he was etc, as if I am some kind of secretary maybe, or a sidekick.
In family life I am also dealing with some issues, as I am the second child (out of 4), and I have an elder sister. This is probably a bad setting because I would feel uneasy and uncomfortable growing up. My sister is very dominating, we didn't have a good relations.
But anyways I have come to peace with my sister and my family life (I think) because I am getting older now.
Haizz...thinking back, I have also never been given any leadership position, in anywhere, usually at most I become a vice-something, or a deputy-something, never the number 1, or I get to become number 1 but only after a rotation.
So that is the story of my life, a nice guy, boy next door, who plays second fiddle.
Thanks for listening.
Hi Veggie Bao,
Pardon me for saying this, but nice guys are those who are not only willing to stretch out their hands to help others, but also at the same time silently end behind others. Those who wish to appear nice to others, and yet at the same time stand above others and dominate them are rarely, if ever, truly nice.
It is good to be who you are, for you must understand that kindness is not always rewarded. Those who are nice to others only because they want something in return will not be happy, for they are just pretending to be not whom they truly are. I sincerely hope that you are not offended and will not feel upset about my post.
Cheers.
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self pity wun do ya any good 2nd fiddle? so be it. who cares ur 2nd fiddle 3rd fiddle. life isnt about being top all the time. u see michael jackson was top. but he dies at 50 yrs old. if i tell u now that u have 10 yrs left to live, would u still mind whether ur wat fiddle?
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don't whine here. Go and continue your support for Ris Low
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haiz,
i work hard, always.
but efforts sometimes not appreciated.....like mine tep in nyp , my supervisors gave me a C because i showed no leadership quality....i am always the one that moves the most stuff,i stand in for mine friends when they are busy.., true i am not the most capable but i suppose if u give me a B i will feel that its fair enough but this......
and that C is for an entire sem de,totally screw mine result up gpa from 3.5+ drop to 2++.......
i got like 1wk cannot slp lor. realising my chance of going to local uni is 0 and i dun think i deserved to be graded so harshly, at the end of the day i should be like the others bootlick the supervisor like fark....and walk away with A
but its ok la,i tell mineself .. i can always go overseas to study..
that supervisor that look down on me....one day i gonna make u pay so dearly that u will regret steping on mine foot, u abuse ur power and destroy my chance of going into local uni
i will make u pay.....dearly
i gonna fight u on equal ground make u beg for mercy
i nvr wallow in self pity....always .... move think..move.... try mine best la..stay postitive .take action to contain damage and improve the situation!!!
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Originally posted by BEARZAIS:
haiz,
i work hard, always.
but efforts sometimes not appreciated.....like mine tep in nyp , my supervisors gave me a C because i showed no leadership quality....i am always the one that moves the most stuff,i stand in for mine friends when they are busy.., true i am not the most capable but i suppose if u give me a B i will feel that its fair enough but this......
and that C is for an entire sem de,totally screw mine result up gpa from 3.5+ drop to 2++.......
i got like 1wk cannot slp lor. realising my chance of going to local uni is 0 and i dun think i deserved to be graded so harshly, at the end of the day i should be like the others bootlick the supervisor like fark....and walk away with A
but its ok la,i tell mineself .. i can always go overseas to study..
that supervisor that look down on me....one day i gonna make u pay so dearly that u will regret steping on mine foot, u abuse ur power and destroy my chance of going into local uni
i will make u pay.....dearly
i gonna fight u on equal ground make u beg for mercy
i nvr wallow in self pity....always .... move think..move.... try mine best la..stay postitive .take action to contain damage and improve the situation!!!
U what course?
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You think like a side-kick, thats why you look like a side-kick, and people see you as a side-kick.
This guy didn't want to be a side-kick.
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wait for your chance to shine. show people what you can do....
what you can do now is to only complain and complain and not living your life to the fullest? -
If ya look at them most influential and/or richest people in the world.
Them arn't tall dark and handsome. Some of em are downright butt ugly, get what I mean ?
Ya can keep blaming on yer looks.But , unless ye is planning on becoming a gigolo, yer looks ain't really gonna matter.
Step up and take the lead. Leadership role don't just fall from the sky .
Yer self-pitying ain't gonna get ya them girls either. OK ? Good.
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i've never acknowledged playing second fiddle to anyone, maybe it's because i'm a stubborn person by nature, the times where i have to play second fiddle is when i'm placed in a hierarchical organization.
Anyway, forgive your supervisors for giving you a Cock-eyed grading, do well for your upcoming semesters and you'll find that you can attain a 3.5 gpa grading
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Originally posted by BEARZAIS:
haiz,
i work hard, always.
but efforts sometimes not appreciated.....like mine tep in nyp , my supervisors gave me a C because i showed no leadership quality....i am always the one that moves the most stuff,i stand in for mine friends when they are busy.., true i am not the most capable but i suppose if u give me a B i will feel that its fair enough but this......
and that C is for an entire sem de,totally screw mine result up gpa from 3.5+ drop to 2++.......
i got like 1wk cannot slp lor. realising my chance of going to local uni is 0 and i dun think i deserved to be graded so harshly, at the end of the day i should be like the others bootlick the supervisor like fark....and walk away with A
but its ok la,i tell mineself .. i can always go overseas to study..
that supervisor that look down on me....one day i gonna make u pay so dearly that u will regret steping on mine foot, u abuse ur power and destroy my chance of going into local uni
i will make u pay.....dearly
i gonna fight u on equal ground make u beg for mercy
i nvr wallow in self pity....always .... move think..move.... try mine best la..stay postitive .take action to contain damage and improve the situation!!!
Hi BearZais,
Life is indeed very unfair to some at times, but if you are going to aim to become someone of a higher standing so as to destroy someone whom you hate, you will only be abusing your power as well. In the end, you may just find yourself transforming into someone who is even uglier than your supervisor, and that is certainly undesirable.
The best thing to do is to move on, and tell yourself that you will never fall as low as your supervisor as course mates. Instead, work hard and push forth so that you may have the chance to prove yourself someday.
Cheers.
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I guess you are a young person aren't you.
know what you want in life and the ways and means to achieve it.
rely on yourself rather than others. the best is to earn your livelihood without ever relying on your family, such as pay for your house, car, etc. see what family ties means to you. if it doesnt mean anything to you, then its time to pack up and start your own life outside. money these days are more reliable than kinship and friendship.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
Thanks for letting me to vent myself...
Actually just want to share...
I feel sometimes a bit sad....because I feel that I am often at a position of second fiddle....
A lot of times, I didn't notice it, or didn't take it to heart.
But lately when I am thinking about myself, and my past, I can see that I am often a second fiddle player...
When I was a kid, often times I would be sidelined, I guess I am not a popular kid, and as I grow older, same thing still happened / persisted.
In terms of social standing, I am a jealous person. Always want to be the first, forefront, but I am only 2nd rate. Actually it's true.
And I have a problem in that I can feel jealous or envious, although it's subtle, but I would be asking myself, why I can't be that person.
For example.....my cousin is so tall, handsome, rich (son of tycoon level), and very easily get the attention of ladies. It's always like this. One time when I go with him, we were on holiday and touring, and the tourist guide, a sweet young lady, almost latched herself onto him and chit chatted with him so happily. Hey, what about me?
Actually thinking about this, since I was young, my best friends were all also mostly tall and handsome guys, now I realize I must have looked like a sidekick back then.
I still remember how some girls would ask me about my best friend, where he was etc, as if I am some kind of secretary maybe, or a sidekick.
In family life I am also dealing with some issues, as I am the second child (out of 4), and I have an elder sister. This is probably a bad setting because I would feel uneasy and uncomfortable growing up. My sister is very dominating, we didn't have a good relations.
But anyways I have come to peace with my sister and my family life (I think) because I am getting older now.
Haizz...thinking back, I have also never been given any leadership position, in anywhere, usually at most I become a vice-something, or a deputy-something, never the number 1, or I get to become number 1 but only after a rotation.
So that is the story of my life, a nice guy, boy next door, who plays second fiddle.
Thanks for listening.
Not every single girl looks for tall ,handsome and rich guy. Isn't it better such artificial girl don't look for u? Save u from much trouble.Being in the spotlight isn't always fantastic. Some pretty girls always meet the wrong guy and end up in miserable life. Same can be say for guys.
Work on yr strength and achieve whatever u need thru yr own deed, no extra help or advantage. U will be proud of yrself. Be willing to try and work hard. There is no free meal in life. Life is fair. Trust my words!
