My brother is using subutex. I've known it for more than 6 months and so have my family. The thing is, when my parents confront him abt it, he will throw into a hissy fit and deny. I know he's using because of the way he's reacting and found his hiding place for those drugs as well. After using the syringe, he would throw it out of the window. So yea, I'll know he's using.
My parents cant do anything abt it as they are getting older. My brother is 34 this yr. How to really make him listen? He's as stubborn as a mule.
The more worrying part is his health. He has loss the ability to move his left fingers. They are as stiff as rock.
He earns $3,000 per month excl. CPF, but claims that he's paying the utility bills etc to other ppl when in fact my parents are the one supporting him. Giving him the excuse to borrow money here and there. Even my ailing sick grandma gave in to him, once in 3 days he would borrow $20-$50 from my grandma and other relatives.
And when he is desperate, he would even borrow $6 from me and didnt return it back. I am currently unemployed. He always wants to find fault abt me esp abt my unemployment and yet he stills borrows money from me!
We did an intervention more than 5 times already. He will deny it until we show proof. he would then admit and say he'll change, and the next hr, he'll be shooting high.
He's body is full of syringes scars. He's recently married and his wife had a miscarriage due to stress. He's been in prison before for heroin. And didnt even tell his wife abt his past.
My gut tells me to report him to the CNB before he causes more harm to our family and himself. But I am scared, what if this breaks my family apart? What should I do?
threaten ur bro 1st. if still no change then report
Originally posted by Sgforum King:threaten ur bro 1st. if still no change then report
He knows my parents. They will never give him up to CNB. he's toying with my parents emotions and that frustrates me. My dad did threaten his junkie friend before. He could even confirm to his friend that my dad wont do it. And he's right.
My parents cant bare to do it. But I do.
Besides threatening him would throw him into rage. I was even beaten up by him cause I didnt answer his qn.
Originally posted by I m possible:
He knows my parents. They will never give him up to CNB. he's toying with my parents emotions and that frustrates me. My dad did threaten his junkie friend before. He could even confirm to his friend that my dad wont do it. And he's right.My parents cant bare to do it. But I do.
then u should do it. drugs are bad m'kay.
should just straight away report. he will thank you when he is cured
Try to find more information from charity groups or religious organizations.
Meaning, do intervention but not with law enforcement agencies.
Good luck.
Originally posted by Veggie Bao:Try to find more information from charity groups or religious organizations.
Meaning, do intervention but not with law enforcement agencies.
Good luck.
I did. And I found out that it is by law they will have to report cases that involve breaking the law.
so.. you want your brother to slowly die from the addiction?
time for the big one... CNB, SANA, cold turkey... the works...
Hi,
I am a psychologist currently working in an alcohol & drug treatment centre in Australia. Unfortunately in Singapore, the system is such that there is no treatment option for drug use. Like you said, even drug rehabilitation services run by NGOs have to report to CNB as long as illicit drugs are involved. My professional opinion is not to report him first. What CNB does is simply send drug users to one of their drug rehabilitation centres, which are in fact prisons. There is no treatment in DRCs - detainees detox by cold turkey, and most do not receive any form of counselling or programmes to address their drug use issues until the very tail-end of their sentence, i.e. the final 6 months, which probably has little impact. Try to talk to him to get help, maybe seek counselling from a private practitioner who can help him address the issues underlying his drug use. Hopefully once these issues are addressed his drug use can be controlled and hopefully ceased. Counsellors can also help to work with his motivation to change if he is unwilling to admit his problem. At the end of the day, you can't change him - change has to come from within himself. However, we do know that family can play a powerful role in assisting him to change. Having said that, if you feel that he is putting his health and hence his life at risk by persisting in abusing drugs, then you do have to make the decision to report him , that is consequentially sending him to prison, to save his life.
Originally posted by I m possible:My brother is using subutex. I've known it for more than 6 months and so have my family. The thing is, when my parents confront him abt it, he will throw into a hissy fit and deny. I know he's using because of the way he's reacting and found his hiding place for those drugs as well. After using the syringe, he would throw it out of the window. So yea, I'll know he's using.
My parents cant do anything abt it as they are getting older. My brother is 34 this yr. How to really make him listen? He's as stubborn as a mule.
The more worrying part is his health. He has loss the ability to move his left fingers. They are as stiff as rock.
He earns $3,000 per month excl. CPF, but claims that he's paying the utility bills etc to other ppl when in fact my parents are the one supporting him. Giving him the excuse to borrow money here and there. Even my ailing sick grandma gave in to him, once in 3 days he would borrow $20-$50 from my grandma and other relatives.
And when he is desperate, he would even borrow $6 from me and didnt return it back. I am currently unemployed. He always wants to find fault abt me esp abt my unemployment and yet he stills borrows money from me!
We did an intervention more than 5 times already. He will deny it until we show proof. he would then admit and say he'll change, and the next hr, he'll be shooting high.
He's body is full of syringes scars. He's recently married and his wife had a miscarriage due to stress. He's been in prison before for heroin. And didnt even tell his wife abt his past.
My gut tells me to report him to the CNB before he causes more harm to our family and himself. But I am scared, what if this breaks my family apart? What should I do?
I am saddened that it had to happen to you and your family. But the scourge of drugs addiction had not just affected you, but many other families as well. And many a father, mother, brother or sister faces dilemma such as you are facing now - to report or not to report. No human wants to see another suffer, worse if he is related to you by blood. Cold turkey is not an easy treatment. It would be a living hell for any human. Then the years in jail, worse if he ends up mixing with the wrong jailbirds, either to suffer in their hands or fall into their nefarious activities once out of prison.
But a far worse fate awaits him if he is not sent for treatment and rehabilitation. And that is what addiction will do not only to him, but everyone he knows, thru his non-repayable loans, his severely damaged reputation and health, the dangers his family faces when debts go unpaid, the desperation as he finds ways and means to get his 'fix'.
Do the right thing please. Drug addiction is a terrible evil to be inflicted on mankind. Make that call to CNB the moment you see him with drugs on his hand or partaking it as evidence.
You are not sentencing him to a bad fate. You will be liberating him and giving him a life deserving of a human. You need not even admit you made that call. Ignorance is bliss.
BUT you MUST ALWAYS be there for him while he is in prison, because families and blood kin are the necessary ingredients for proper rehabilitation besides what prison rehabilitation management policies can do.
Only when he feels he is not alone, and that you all still care about him and love him, can he be fully weaned off addiction, otherwise he will only turn to others for comfort and solace - his fellow cell mates whom none cared or would care except to use and abuse others.
Make that call. You are giving him the precious gift of a renewed life and hope.
Originally posted by I m possible:My brother is using subutex. I've known it for more than 6 months and so have my family. The thing is, when my parents confront him abt it, he will throw into a hissy fit and deny. I know he's using because of the way he's reacting and found his hiding place for those drugs as well. After using the syringe, he would throw it out of the window. So yea, I'll know he's using.
My parents cant do anything abt it as they are getting older. My brother is 34 this yr. How to really make him listen? He's as stubborn as a mule.
The more worrying part is his health. He has loss the ability to move his left fingers. They are as stiff as rock.
He earns $3,000 per month excl. CPF, but claims that he's paying the utility bills etc to other ppl when in fact my parents are the one supporting him. Giving him the excuse to borrow money here and there. Even my ailing sick grandma gave in to him, once in 3 days he would borrow $20-$50 from my grandma and other relatives.
And when he is desperate, he would even borrow $6 from me and didnt return it back. I am currently unemployed. He always wants to find fault abt me esp abt my unemployment and yet he stills borrows money from me!
We did an intervention more than 5 times already. He will deny it until we show proof. he would then admit and say he'll change, and the next hr, he'll be shooting high.
He's body is full of syringes scars. He's recently married and his wife had a miscarriage due to stress. He's been in prison before for heroin. And didnt even tell his wife abt his past.
My gut tells me to report him to the CNB before he causes more harm to our family and himself. But I am scared, what if this breaks my family apart? What should I do?
Hi I m possible,
I am sorry to say this, but if you really care about your brother, you should report him to the Central Narcotics Bureau. Not only is his physical health deteriorating as you hesitate, so is his mental health.
If someday, your parents and relatives decided to refuse to give in to him anymore, out of rage, and in a confused state of mind, he may choose to harm them for the sake of money.
Thus, please do make the right decision before your brother does anything which might make you regret later for not reporting him.
Cheers.
btw.. time is of the essence now..
his hand is affected.. it's now stiff like you said..
goodness knows what happened.. could be nerve damage, could be atrophy or could be worse.. a clot causing necrosis..
apart from getting him off the drugs, he will be given a full medical to find out what happened and probably find other potential problems...
and don't listen to those who insist singapore doesn't have rehab.. we do.. and it's hell of a lot more comprehensive than the namby-pamby BS "rehabs" of other places..
it's tough but it works...
good luck
report your brother to the relavant authorities
Originally posted by the Bear:btw.. time is of the essence now..
his hand is affected.. it's now stiff like you said..
goodness knows what happened.. could be nerve damage, could be atrophy or could be worse.. a clot causing necrosis..
apart from getting him off the drugs, he will be given a full medical to find out what happened and probably find other potential problems...
and don't listen to those who insist singapore doesn't have rehab.. we do.. and it's hell of a lot more comprehensive than the namby-pamby BS "rehabs" of other places..
it's tough but it works...
good luck
You seem to know quite a lot about drug rehab in Singapore. Care to share what you know with TS and the rest of us? :)
Originally posted by gohysteria:Hi,
I am a psychologist currently working in an alcohol & drug treatment centre in Australia. Unfortunately in Singapore, the system is such that there is no treatment option for drug use. Like you said, even drug rehabilitation services run by NGOs have to report to CNB as long as illicit drugs are involved. My professional opinion is not to report him first. What CNB does is simply send drug users to one of their drug rehabilitation centres, which are in fact prisons. There is no treatment in DRCs - detainees detox by cold turkey, and most do not receive any form of counselling or programmes to address their drug use issues until the very tail-end of their sentence, i.e. the final 6 months, which probably has little impact. Try to talk to him to get help, maybe seek counselling from a private practitioner who can help him address the issues underlying his drug use. Hopefully once these issues are addressed his drug use can be controlled and hopefully ceased. Counsellors can also help to work with his motivation to change if he is unwilling to admit his problem. At the end of the day, you can't change him - change has to come from within himself. However, we do know that family can play a powerful role in assisting him to change. Having said that, if you feel that he is putting his health and hence his life at risk by persisting in abusing drugs, then you do have to make the decision to report him , that is consequentially sending him to prison, to save his life.
australia psychologist, pls dun try to stir shit
thank you
He is a drug addict who has been to prison before and yet he can earn 3k a month?
He must be a degree holder with lots of experience and must be holding a not bad job..
Originally posted by MasterMoogle:australia psychologist, pls dun try to stir shit
thank you
he just gave his opinion and is basically trying to help, what's your problem?
tough love is best love
Originally posted by ilangobi:he just gave his opinion and is basically trying to help, what's your problem?
MasterMoggle is a moron who try to create trouble. Ignore him
Originally posted by ilangobi:he just gave his opinion and is basically trying to help, what's your problem?
he is twisting fact la
Originally posted by jacknife:
MasterMoggle is a moron who try to create trouble. Ignore him
never read his post properly dun anyhow say
Originally posted by MasterMoogle:he is twisting fact la
Please show/tell us how I am twisting facts??
What I have written is based on the knowledge and experience I accumulated through working directly with ex-prisoners and ex-DRC detainees, as well as with prison officers and counsellers in Singapore. Where do you get your information from??
Anyway my suggestion to TS is to seek advice from professionals who know the in and out of the penal and drug treatment system in Singapore.
apart from the enforcement arm which is the CNB, you have the Drug Rehab Centres..
the DRCs do not only detain people.. the addicts are treated to kick the habit, assessed for employment, training and all that...
most of all, they learn that they are responsible for their actions.. for breaking the law, they are detained...
simply, they are treated like responsible adults.. they have committed an offence and there must be a price to pay... they will have to pay it..
finally, when they are done with their time, they will be assisted through the Yellow Ribbon Project and a crapload of halfway houses... the halfway houses are where they are given counselling (again) and all kinds of support if they need..
you can't save the world, but you can save those who want to be saved..
and those who do not want to be saved, goodness knows you can only do that much and if they still refuse, there's intervention.. and not much else after..
Originally posted by I m possible:My brother is using subutex. I've known it for more than 6 months and so have my family. The thing is, when my parents confront him abt it, he will throw into a hissy fit and deny. I know he's using because of the way he's reacting and found his hiding place for those drugs as well. After using the syringe, he would throw it out of the window. So yea, I'll know he's using.
My parents cant do anything abt it as they are getting older. My brother is 34 this yr. How to really make him listen? He's as stubborn as a mule.
The more worrying part is his health. He has loss the ability to move his left fingers. They are as stiff as rock.
He earns $3,000 per month excl. CPF, but claims that he's paying the utility bills etc to other ppl when in fact my parents are the one supporting him. Giving him the excuse to borrow money here and there. Even my ailing sick grandma gave in to him, once in 3 days he would borrow $20-$50 from my grandma and other relatives.
And when he is desperate, he would even borrow $6 from me and didnt return it back. I am currently unemployed. He always wants to find fault abt me esp abt my unemployment and yet he stills borrows money from me!
We did an intervention more than 5 times already. He will deny it until we show proof. he would then admit and say he'll change, and the next hr, he'll be shooting high.
He's body is full of syringes scars. He's recently married and his wife had a miscarriage due to stress. He's been in prison before for heroin. And didnt even tell his wife abt his past.
My gut tells me to report him to the CNB before he causes more harm to our family and himself. But I am scared, what if this breaks my family apart? What should I do?
if U dont report him...few years down the road...U will still be asking the same questions as U have today.
throwing syringes out the window is danger to the public.I dont think I need to elaborate on that.Even U throw normal rubbish out the window...HDB can take back your flat.
there are things that...while painful...has to be done.
Originally posted by the Bear:apart from the enforcement arm which is the CNB, you have the Drug Rehab Centres..
the DRCs do not only detain people.. the addicts are treated to kick the habit, assessed for employment, training and all that...
most of all, they learn that they are responsible for their actions.. for breaking the law, they are detained...
simply, they are treated like responsible adults.. they have committed an offence and there must be a price to pay... they will have to pay it..
finally, when they are done with their time, they will be assisted through the Yellow Ribbon Project and a crapload of halfway houses... the halfway houses are where they are given counselling (again) and all kinds of support if they need..
you can't save the world, but you can save those who want to be saved..
and those who do not want to be saved, goodness knows you can only do that much and if they still refuse, there's intervention.. and not much else after..
like real...
sad to say, it is a fact that the CNB, or DRC is dammed useless/hopeless. I have deal with them before and I know that it is just waste of time and effort. It is not really as advertised, very different...
Basically, these drug abusers are extermely depressed, low moral and sensitive, stubborn and stupid people. when talking to them, a little bad word, can really upset them really badly (off the scale of tolerance). They took up drug because they really want to hide themselves from reality and hide from the real world.
When they are left alone, they will fear, and feel absolute emptiness and loneliness. it frighten them.
It is really hard to deal with them. The more you threaten them, the more upset they are. The more they are stress, they more they want to escape the real world. So try to encourage him instead, tell him the good thing, please him.
Tell him that your wife love you.
Tell him cigarettes is better, cheap, illegal and really available. The nicotine effect is still there also.
Try not to displease them, make them feel unwanted, and useless. convince them that they are useful and need in the family.
The drug addiction can be easy solved by a gradual reduction of dosage over a period of time. Or alternative sedative drugs such as cigarettes, panadol, codeine, caffeine, Diazepam are useful replacement.
Mental healing takes a long time to heal. Good luck!