I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
the 1st thing is he is a married man, u 2 wun hav happy ending
I really cannot control my emotions and hate this feeling inside my heart.
I just want to be with him together even though I know he is married in the first place.
I want to know how to bring him back to me. You guys might think I am naive but I really want him to remain by my side.
please wake up...
most prob is tat he has decided to go back to his wife and tats y he become cold to u. or mayb he has grown tired of u...
u deserve some1 better than him...
please wake up...
most prob is tat he has decided to go back to his wife and tats y he become cold to u. or mayb he has grown tired of u...
u deserve some1 better than him...
It is so painful for me to wake up. I really need him by my side.
In the history of stupid ideas, knowingly getting involved with a married man counts as one of the worst.
Think about it: if he could cheat on his wife to be with you, even if you somehow get him back..... what are the chances that he won't dump you later on for another woman?
And what about the feelings of his wife.... you never considered that for a moment? You never thought about how she feels about having her husband cheating with another woman?
And now you're asking married guys for advice on..... what? What is the best way for them to cheat on their spouses?
So, yeah, you're not just naive. You're dumb and self-centred too. You disgust me.
u wanan go on n on like this for the rest of ur life? or u wanna meet a nice guy tat love u n settle down n have a happy ending? btw how old are u jess?
I know. But I cannot help falling in love with him.
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I know. But I cannot help falling in love with him.
So you know that what you're doing is stupid.....
.....you're seeking advice on how to be even more stupid......
.....by asking married men on what they would do to become stupid.
You're even worse than I thought.
Girl, you've been used and abused. Something we humans all call -dumped.
You were nothing more than an itch that needed to be scratched to be satisfied. Having tasted you and realizing sex or the intimacy is all the same with any women, cravings satisfied, its time to go.
Go on and pine for him. He WILL NOT come back to you. Infact, he is worried and frightened of you, for giving in to his base needs, and might destroy his marriage and career, thus the short replies. He never loved you in the first place.
Either you do a Glen Close from the movie Fatal Attraction or you wisely just walk away, forget him and treat it as an experience learnt, NEVER to be repeated again.
Good luck
PS: May other single men and women learn from your bitter experience and be a bit more careful from hereon when dealing with married people, though I seriously doubt many would learn. Such attractions are akin to light for a moth. Seems mankind are doomed to repeat mistakes instead of making fresh mistakes so as to progress. Must be our genes.
Its becuz of bitches like u, the divorce rates are going up. If u really cant help it and really want him, go jump off a building, at least u wont be there to create problems for him. thats the best you can do
No. No suicides please or taking of lives. Each life is precious. It is common and human nature to make mistakes. We have only one life to live, and I'm sure we will make many more mistakes in life. We have no life to spare for death till the final reckoning. None are perfect or immortal, and are all equally flawed.
It is only a mistake now. No need to compound it and hurt even more, espacially those who love us still. Courage is in us all, for the future is never bleak, only our minds which our thoughts make it bleak, burdened by fear, yearnings and ignorance.
A beautiful life awaits, for there is so much to experience, and the meaningful ones will over-ride the senseless ones we will ultimately come across, that will make us lived a life as it was meant to be and which was preciously gifted to us.
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
One of the reasons married men have affairs is to have illicit sex and sex with new partners.
The lure of affairs is that there are (hopefully) no complications and no responsibilities.
If you want him to be there for you other than for sex (to be there for you is a responsibility).
Because you "dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating" he has not told you to f-off.
While continuing the affair with you falls under the "illicit sex" category, it is not under the "sex with new partners" category.
So I imagine he is trying to find a "new partner" and with a wife, he does not have so much time for you.
It is likely you are not his first fling after marriage. And do not be so naive as to think he will leave his wife for u. It's likely his interest in you is only as hot as the cup of coffee on the table.
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
Hi Jessiexie,
You are nothing more than a toy to this man. After he is through with you, he just wants to throw you aside and have nothing more to do with you.
Please do think for yourself and your future, even if he comes back to you again, it is highly unlikely that he will be faithful to you. If you continue to persist in this relationship, nothing good will come out of it. Everyone will see you as nothing more than a vixen who broke up a family, and the man will receive much lesser of the blame as compared to you.
I sincerely hope that you will be able to move on and find a better man - This man does not deserve your love; nor his wife's love.
Cheers.
you can go to www.gongtau.com to make gongtau and make him stay by ur side.
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
there are 4 possibilities.
a) his wife found out or is getting suspicious, so he's behaving himself these days for fear of antagonizing the situation home front.
b) he realized u were getting too serious n decided to shake loose n be more unavailable. (typical player tactic imo)
if there's mutual understanding about this before u got involved, then u should know his priority n time lies with his family. no point wondering about it now. just understand where ur relationship with him stands in the big picture n accept the fact that this is a temporary affair with no possible future. there's no room n luxury for a conventional bgr commitment here. lower ur expectations n be prepared to have ur heart broken further down the road. it's ur choice n ur decision.
c) he's distancing himself because he got scared.
nothing much u can do about this. if he came to the realization there's too much to lose in exchange for a part time girlfriend (you), it's only natural for him to pull the plug. move on. u can't raise his mojo for him if he's pissing in his pants.
u really need to be on the same page. since this isn't a mutually exclusive relationship, then r u a fling? is he a fling? a passing fancy? is there a permanent arrangement in the future?
d) he has a new target. hr is watching n he received warning. or tongues are wagging in the office.
the party's over. move on.
if he's the least bit sincere about u, he wouldn't have avoided u or ended this affair without warning or some closure n explanation.
snap out of it n get out before u burn ur heart n ur career for a faint/pointless/meaningless passing affair. for somewhere out there in the far corner of another forum in the world wide web, his wife probably has her own thread asking for advice... wondering what she can do to salvage her marriage with a husband who cheated but swore he would never cheat again.
*pat pat*
Do you all think TS already have sex with this guy?
Originally posted by martial:Do you all think TS already have sex with this guy?
then u think a married man will have an affair without sex? then have affair for what? love, joy and laughter ah
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I really cannot control my emotions and hate this feeling inside my heart.
I just want to be with him together even though I know he is married in the first place.
I want to know how to bring him back to me. You guys might think I am naive but I really want him to remain by my side.
if u're well aware he's married n yet u willingly continue on this path, then u need to understand there is no future n no room for it to blossom like a normal, conventional man/woman relationship.
technically he's not urs, u need to split him with his work/wife/kids. 100/4 = 25% of his time. u need to fill the other 75% of ur heart with something else apart from him.
having said that, think about karma girl. could come back to u years down the road. spare urself the potential pain n misery and cut loose ba.
Originally posted by gasband:then u think a married man will have an affair without sex? then have affair for what? love, joy and laughter ah
emotional affair also affair ma.
Originally posted by soleachip:emotional affair also affair ma.
A married man who has an affair because of physical attraction is stupid. A married man who has an affair because of emotional attraction is an idiot.
There are married man whose wife has no time to accompany him etc feels lonely and than have an affair..
Possible that TS did not want to have sex or do not have sex with him as much as he wants so he decided to dump her..
Otherwise if he can have free sex with her than there is no reason for him to avoid her..
Originally posted by Jessiexie:I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
No problem with that. you can try dating with me and i am not married, has not car but if you just want someone your SOUL can depend on i will be there to listen to your oes and words.
do ote to bring love life and personal affairs out of your work for the better of the two of you and the comapany and everyone working there. How old are you. Were you just lonely or was it only a crush? SOme people mentioned about married men's condition and how sometimes they yearn for attention from women other that their wives. Not everyone is strong in the mind, even if they are married or has a family. Its so easy to get married and start a family as long as you get the primary factor (finances) under control or in check first.