Falling in love with a married man
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
I got involved with a married man few months back. We are kinda lovely-dovey till things took a turn. We worked in the same company. He often send me to work and home. Lately, citing some excuses, he is unable to send me to and fro from work.
I suspect that he thinks I am too clingy and dependant on him . I would like to raise the issue with him but he refused to talk about it. Whenever i text him, he took so long to reply. His reply seems to be shorter than usual. Sometimes I call him after work, either he cut off my line with an excuse or sms me that he will talk to me tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes, it is still the same treatment.
How do I get him to open up and be interested in me once again? It had been one month since he treated me this way. I dare not to keep smsing or calling him because I fear he thinks I am irritating.
Any married guys care to advise? I want to know what went really wrong.
The world is big, and there are a lot of better men out there.
Don't let one man destroy your life.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
The world is big, and there are a lot of better men out there.
Don't let one man destroy your life.
she dun deserve a good man. She should be played, manupulated and dumped.活该下贱
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may you be left on the shelf.
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Your temptation is hightened by the man's faithfullness to his wife.
The more he is faithfull, the more you want him.
Forbidden fruit taste the sweetest.
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aiya this kinda people don't waste yr breath la.... they will stupidly go on and cling on until it fucks up badly then come post another thread come here cry...... so... we wait for new thread.
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Originally posted by maxsee:
Aiyah this is ppl life mah...wat for everyone must curse and swear at her...she already said she love the guy a lot liao mah......Anyway u should sit down and tok to the guy....ask him exactly what he wants....if he cannot give u any commitment and still want to stick to the wife...then u sayonara to him la....what for waste ur time on a guy who just want to fool around with u....if he dun mind divorcing his current wife....then u can consider getting together with him la....
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
Pls let go.....
u really want to see something tragic happen then you let go?
it will be too late then....
short term, it may hurt but long term you are free
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
The guy is already married but still want to get involved with you.
Don't be goondu lah.
He just wants to ****** **** ***** *****.
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My condolences.....
I think you know what to do......
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
i told you alrdy u should offer sex to him. sex is another form of addiction to men. give him a good blow and make him cum. -
Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
What is it you hope to get done by talking with him ?
You can cry, beg , but you cannot force a man to love you.
When a man is no longer in love with you, whatever you do to try to MANIPULATE the situation, will only end with resentments and hatred.
Let this relationship die a natural death, and set yourself free.
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Since he is not toking to u anymore just let it go...i think he wants the best of both world...having his family and having u by his side.....this kind of guy just ask him fly kite la......dun stick to him anymore...just make it clear to him...either he divorce the wife...or u move on with ur life...plain and simple....
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
Hi Jessiexie,
I understand that it is very hard and painful to end a relationship, but you will have to do it now, if you do not wish to suffer more in the future. If you continue to persist in an one-sided relationship, the one who will suffer in the end is you.
It is already apparent that you are nothing more than a possession to him, something which is running at his beck and call. He will come to you when he feels like it, and snub you when he doesn't need you.
Hear my plead to you once more, think about yourself and your future, and let go of this relationship.
Bien Amicalement.
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Advise most ppl here gave is, cut the lost and move on.
Am sure u know what is the right move and what you should do even before you start this thread. Denial and cling to false hope are what ppl do when face with the truth they refuse to accept. Are you hopping to seek comfort here or evidence to support your denial?
I know ger aint known for being logical being compare to guys, but maybe u can channel your emo in a different direction that could free you from this episode of ur life. I duno if this is good idea, but mayb u can try anger or hate. They are rather effective ways to distance urself from this hopeless r/s. Either that or wait till the point where u finally breaks down.
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
Advise most ppl here gave is, cut the lost and move on.
Am sure u know what is the right move and what you should do even before you start this thread. Denial and cling to false hope are what ppl do when face with the truth they refuse to accept. Are you hopping to seek comfort here or evidence to support your denial?
I know ger aint known for being logical being compare to guys, but maybe u can channel your emo in a different direction that could free you from this episode of ur life. I duno if this is good idea, but mayb u can try anger or hate. They are rather effective ways to distance urself from this hopeless r/s. Either that or wait till the point where u finally breaks down.
Ahem.. girls arn't less logical than guys. We are just more sentimental.
Jessiexie... ya want to end it.. end it with a big bang.
Call his wife and tell her everything about the affair. It's time his wife also realise this man ain't no saint.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Ahem.. girls arn't less logical than guys. We are just more sentimental.
Jessiexie... ya want to end it.. end it with a big bang.
Call his wife and tell her everything about the affair. It's time his wife also realise this man ain't no saint.
yo jojo... how ya doing...
i fully agree with jojo. Since u cant cut free on ur own, when dun u let the wife assist you in it. Who knows what might happen, he might lose his wife and come threading toward u like a wounded puppy when it all blow over.
And beside, he cheated on his wife, itis only fair he take the same share of the pain and shit u going thru on a daily basis. As for his wife, i think she has a right to know and to deal with him as she see fitting.
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u shludnt get involved with a maridge man in the first place...he can tell you whatever shit he want-be smart girl,once a cheather always will be.
imagine how's the wife feel if she found out, falling in love is always sweet but be smart....
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Originally posted by Angelica1:
u shludnt get involved with a maridge man in the first place...he can tell you whatever shit he want-be smart girl,once a cheather always will be.
imagine how's the wife feel if she found out, falling in love is always sweet but be smart....
Agreed with angelica...no need to waste ur youth with a married man...u wun have a happy ending..
forget about him and move on..im sure u r still young..there are more better men outside there...
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just to side step this a bit.....
i have known gers then to look after other gers, even those they aint close to them.... kinda like a gender thingy.
At the point of starting out this affair with a married man, did hurting the so call innocent party, whom is his wife, another fellow ger, ever come across your mind? Like what chip said, beware of karma and what goes ard come ard.
there is so many single and eligible men out there.... why a married man?
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
just to side step this a bit.....
i have known gers then to look after other gers, even those they aint close to them.... kinda like a gender thingy.
At the point of starting out this affair with a married man, did hurting the so call innocent party, whom is his ife, another fellow ger, ever come across your mind? Like what chip said, beware of karma and what goes ard come ard.
there is so many single and eligible men out there.... why a married man?
Dude, a woman who is prepared to steal a husband away from his wife, has no concern about how the wife will feel or how innocent the children are. So don't be so naive ya ?
Why a married man you ask ? The answer is very simple. Some people looks at what good stuff the other is having/enjoying and wants em for themself. A simple case of husband envy.
If a good woman is willing to spend her whole life with this man.. he can't be THAT bad. A tried and tested recipe is better than one that needs time and effort to figure out.
However.... the truth is.. even good woman makes mistake. Jessiexie may think that guy is so great. wait till she gets to keep him for good.. perhaps then will she realize he ain't that great either.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Dude, a woman who is prepared to steal a husband away from his wife, has no concern about how the wife will feel or how innocent the children are. So don't be so naive ya ?
Why a married man you ask ? The answer is very simple. Some people looks at what good stuff the other is having/enjoying and wants em for themself. A simple case of husband envy.
If a good woman is willing to spend her whole life with this man.. he can't be THAT bad. A tried and tested recipe is better than one that needs time and effort to figure out.
However.... the truth is.. even good woman makes mistake. Jessiexie may think that guy is so great. wait till she gets to keep him for good.. perhaps then will she realize he ain't that great either.
haha... i've always wanna believe in the good wills of all human being...
I wish sometime, affair can be as simple as an act of stealing. Ppl tend to blame it on love being blind, etc and somehow get involved with married man. Which might b the case for TS. Which is why i am curious as to what goes on in their mind that somehow propell them down a hopeless route which they all know to avoid. then again, am sure there is load of cases where the ger is all out to get that man she want, be it married, 80yrs old or wat.
I agree with u on the envy part. Why build another family hubby out of a man when u can have them pre-builded and tested. with the slight stain of fidelity.... but hey if i can get him to leave his wife, hell am sure can keep him by my side always....
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
haha... i've always wanna believe in the good wills of all human being...
I wish sometime, affair can be as simple as an act of stealing. Ppl tend to blame it on love being blind, etc and somehow get involved with married man. Which might b the case for TS. Which is why i am curious as to what goes on in their mind that somehow propell them down a hopeless route which they all know to avoid. then again, am sure there is load of cases where the ger is all out to get that man she want, be it married, 80yrs old or wat.
I agree with u on the envy part. Why build another family hubby out of a man when u can have them pre-builded and tested. with the slight stain of fidelity.... but hey if i can get him to leave his wife, hell am sure can keep him by my side always....
Well Earl, like most human beings, some women can be selfish, competitive and what propels a woman to continue this "hopeless" path , is hope itself.
Women who are prone to affairs with married men usually wants to prove that she is BETTER than the wife. The competitive streak.
And because she HOPES to get that juicy steak on her plate , instead of someone else's , she continues with the affair, hoping for the tide to turn in her favor. Much like a gambler who refuses to give up.
Frankly, I don't know of any ex-mistress turned wife who is happy for long , with the man she managed to steal. Not many mistress will admit publicly she bagged a garbage.
As the saying goes. "The best revenge is to let the other woman have him."
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Originally posted by Jessiexie:
He is not interested in talking about the relationship. Giving me cold treatment.I afraid that he would be angry if I kept pestering him to talk about it. I really dunno what to do.
jessie, there's no mistaking the feelings u have for him run deep.
but since he's giving u the cold treatment, imho if u truly love him, then be patient - make no demands, expect nothing in return n don't seek anything more. some say that is love. what about u? what do u think?
but sadly, us being human... we'll always expect some form of return for the love we give. in the end this exchange results in a contract ladened with expectations n disappointment.
when u can find the strength to learn how to let go and set him free, u'll also find relief from the hurt, pain n sadness u're going through now. hang on tightly when u should, let go slowly when u must.
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Originally posted by soleachip:
jessie, there's no mistaking the feelings u have for him run deep.
but since he's giving u the cold treatment, imho if u truly love him, then be patient - make no demands, expect nothing in return n don't seek anything more. some say that is love. what about u? what do u think?
but sadly, us being human... we'll always expect some form of return for the love we give. in the end this exchange results in a contract ladened with expectations n disappointment.
when u can find the strength to learn how to let go and set him free, u'll also find relief from the hurt, pain n sadness u're going through now. hang on tightly when u should, let go slowly when u must.
"then be patient - make no demands, expect nothing in return n don't seek anything more.".. this is not love... it's self-TORTURE.... humanly impossible.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
"then be patient - make no demands, expect nothing in return n don't seek anything more.".. this is not love... it's self-TORTURE.... humanly impossible.
you forgot Stupidity