problem with being too frank
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i got a serious problem being too frank. i hurt my gf many a times while speaking to her. uttered words that hurt her deeply. i meant it from a different angle but when i reflected upon wat if my words had been said by my gf herself, i also would have interpreted it as what my gf initially interpreted. i dunno y but i cant seem to know what is right to talk and what is not. i guess i have been mixing with too many males thats why i am so insensitive with my words. any help?
btw my gf knows i m like this. she do get hurt by my words and gets angry but after awhile she will relent and tell me that it is my shortcoming which she hopes i can change.
anyway to help me become a 'better' thinker and speaker? -
then u wana keep telling her lies?sometimes it's gd to be frank wif each other....though if u hurt her wif yr harsh words,i think u had better change...she 4gives u coz she really loves u so dun take her love 4 granted...THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!!always imagine wat if she's the one telling you all these?wun u be hurt?get 2 know more frens n interact wif each other more...then ask them for suggestions on how 2 treat yr gf better etc..from all their experiences...Originally posted by yahoo.com:i got a serious problem being too frank. i hurt my gf many a times while speaking to her. uttered words that hurt her deeply. i meant it from a different angle but when i reflected upon wat if my words had been said by my gf herself, i also would have interpreted it as what my gf initially interpreted. i dunno y but i cant seem to know what is right to talk and what is not. i guess i have been mixing with too many males thats why i am so insensitive with my words. any help?
btw my gf knows i m like this. she do get hurt by my words and gets angry but after awhile she will relent and tell me that it is my shortcoming which she hopes i can change.
anyway to help me become a 'better' thinker and speaker? -
its not that i have no frenz. in fact i m quite a well known person in singapore due to something i do. just that my female frenz are limited cause i dun really like to make frenz with them. not cause i gay or wat but just i see nothing common between us. for example i love automobiles and other 'male' stuff while most of them know nuts etc. while others love to 'chiong' i hate it. some more i came from all boys sch thats y have few female frenz also.Originally posted by curad:then u wana keep telling her lies?sometimes it's gd to be frank wif each other....though if u hurt her wif yr harsh words,i think u had better change...she 4gives u coz she really loves u so dun take her love 4 granted...THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!!always imagine wat if she's the one telling you all these?wun u be hurt?get 2 know more frens n interact wif each other more...then ask them for suggestions on how 2 treat yr gf better etc..from all their experiences... -
Be balanced... sometimes we need to talk sense into others, and a stern tone is needed, else we should be mild and nice...
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Professor sgboy2004 -
You have choices actually. You can choose not to lie or not to say. -
I wonder what could you be doing....Originally posted by yahoo.com:its not that i have no frenz. in fact i m quite a well known person in singapore due to something i do.
just that my female frenz are limited cause i dun really like to make frenz with them. not cause i gay or wat but just i see nothing common between us. for example i love automobiles and other 'male' stuff while most of them know nuts etc. while others love to 'chiong' i hate it. some more i came from all boys sch thats y have few female frenz also.
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i'm being very very straightfoward wif my thinking too
my words often hurt ppl, but of course i'm still trying to hold back...
being truthful is good, but tact is needed to handle situations where words will do MOST harm to the ppl ard u. -
frank is ur character keep it up
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bt too frank will aso cause trouble......bt frank -> is a gd pt of character....so if u wan, u can try to minimise bt dn change..
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Being frank is a virtue... being blunt is an issue. Alot of people claims that their frank characteristic is hurting others with words - let me tell you this - most, infact virtually all of them are categorized under blunt.Originally posted by yahoo.com:i got a serious problem being too frank. i hurt my gf many a times while speaking to her. uttered words that hurt her deeply. i meant it from a different angle but when i reflected upon wat if my words had been said by my gf herself, i also would have interpreted it as what my gf initially interpreted. i dunno y but i cant seem to know what is right to talk and what is not. i guess i have been mixing with too many males thats why i am so insensitive with my words. any help?
btw my gf knows i m like this. she do get hurt by my words and gets angry but after awhile she will relent and tell me that it is my shortcoming which she hopes i can change.
anyway to help me become a 'better' thinker and speaker?
Frank is diffused with tactful and empathy - while blunt is the absence of it. You can be frank with your feelings and emotions - but you know how to speak properly yet getting your message across the other party.
For a start - everytime you feel that anger is brewing and you sure going to blast at her again. RECONGISE THAT ANGER immediately - then tell yourself 'this anger is coming and I must watch for my words.' Keep repeating in your mind, looking into her words and speak slightly slower than you always speak. This gives you time to change and lessen the effect of hostile words you will be using. This will sure to work - provided if you really want to improve on this aspect of your character.
Just for fun, are you a Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn?
Cheers -
yaya u r right.. i m not frank but blunt!Originally posted by Yunhaier:Being frank is a virtue... being blunt is an issue. Alot of people claims that their frank characteristic is hurting others with words - let me tell you this - most, infact virtually all of them are categorized under blunt.
Frank is diffused with tactful and empathy - while blunt is the absence of it. You can be frank with your feelings and emotions - but you know how to speak properly yet getting your message across the other party.
For a start - everytime you feel that anger is brewing and you sure going to blast at her again. RECONGISE THAT ANGER immediately - then tell yourself 'this anger is coming and I must watch for my words.' Keep repeating in your mind, looking into her words and speak slightly slower than you always speak. This gives you time to change and lessen the effect of hostile words you will be using. This will sure to work - provided if you really want to improve on this aspect of your character.
Just for fun, are you a Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn?
Cheers
correct.. i just say wat i think without considering for the other person. i will rem wat u haf advised me the next time should i get angry. btw, if i tell u my sign from those listed, u can surely identify my sign by a series of elimination with the other thread which u asked for my sign also. hehe... so i shall keep u in suspense. -
like what the ppl here say,frank is gd but it's equally impt to be tactful as well.dun change this gd pt of urs but try to strike a balance.it's always gd to think and consider ur words and actions.some ppl like me r quite sensitive.like the phrase "suo ze wu xing,ting ze you yi".