[Help] What if you fall for an attached girl?
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i have this problem now.
i have this group of friends, i seem to have fallen for a girl who is attached.
she is attached to her bf for about 3 years+ to 4 years and they are very very close.
sometimes will spend time with her, waiting for her bf (sounds like i am a loser).
when i see photos of them, i feel very sad.
i think i shouldnt be doing this, as she is someone elses girl already.yes, there are so many other options, those no attached at least, yet i fall for her.
why in life, people who doesnt have feelings for you, you fall for them.
those you have no feelings, instead will fall for you.very frustrating.
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Attached girl? My only advice is for you to get out of it! Don't disrupt other people's happiness. If she is happy with him, then you shouldn't come in between them. After all, if you really like her, then you should also wish for her happiness right? Cheer up! There are plenty of other flowers out there. I'm sure you can find another one. =)
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yea thanks man.
i know i shouldnt do that.
dont know why so many others avaliable, i think of her.i should get over it.
any good ways to get over it. -
Originally posted by Cries:
i have this problem now.
i have this group of friends, i seem to have fallen for a girl who is attached.
she is attached to her bf for about 3 years+ to 4 years and they are very very close.
sometimes will spend time with her, waiting for her bf (sounds like i am a loser).
when i see photos of them, i feel very sad.
i think i shouldnt be doing this, as she is someone elses girl already.yes, there are so many other options, those no attached at least, yet i fall for her.
why in life, people who doesnt have feelings for you, you fall for them.
those you have no feelings, instead will fall for you.very frustrating.
Hi Cries,
Falling for someone, regardless of him/her being attached or not, is not something which one can control. However, you can decide what are the steps of action to be taken next.
Since this friend of yours is attached and happy in her relationship, you will have to learn to move on, not only for her, but also for your own self. It is an unethical thing and speaks a lot about one's character, if he/she is to go around attempting to destroy the blissful relationship of another couple.
You can try focusing your attention on other things in your life for the time being, such as your studies/work, your favourite hobbies/activities...etc. If you feel that it is really affecting you very badly, I will suggest that you stop meeting up with this particular friend, at least for the time being.
Cheers.
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Just move on with ur life......and forget abt her......just think of wat u will feels if someone else try to go after ur gf next time....><
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Dont meet her till you're ready just to be friends. should take more then 3months.
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Ah... it's always the same question~ Someone who treat u very well or someone whom u love...
Waiting for someone isnt a sin, neither is loving someone even if they are attached... Breaking up a couple, however, is a sin... A big NO NO~
It's always ok to be friends at the moment but just ask yourself whether can U control yourself not to cross the line...
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Originally posted by Cries:
i have this problem now.
i have this group of friends, i seem to have fallen for a girl who is attached.
she is attached to her bf for about 3 years+ to 4 years and they are very very close.
sometimes will spend time with her, waiting for her bf (sounds like i am a loser).
when i see photos of them, i feel very sad.
i think i shouldnt be doing this, as she is someone elses girl already.yes, there are so many other options, those no attached at least, yet i fall for her.
why in life, people who doesnt have feelings for you, you fall for them.
those you have no feelings, instead will fall for you.very frustrating.
It's very normal for you to fall for someone who is attached.
What you like, others will also like. Unless you have some kind of weird fetish or something, know what I mean ?
If she is blissful in her current relationship, you should be happy for her, not sad.
At least for now, you know what you want in your future girlfriend. Keep a look out for this kind of girl. When you find one and get to keep her, you will be able to appreciate and cherish her.
Staying within your current social circle will not help, it's time you expand your horizon. Venture out and find more new friends.
Good luck.
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It depend on where u draw the line. whether if attached or married. For me, itis marriage.
To be honest, itis easier and less drama to just go looking for single gers.... tone of them out there. If u can easily fall for an attached ger, it should be easier to fall for those singles.
Treat her as a fren and maintain contact... but stay a distance. Widening ur circle of fren like jojo said would help alot. find new target, go hunting, or make new frens.....
do anything to get her off ur mind....... best if those activities can get u falling for someone else....
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Originally posted by Cries:
i have this problem now.
i have this group of friends, i seem to have fallen for a girl who is attached.
she is attached to her bf for about 3 years+ to 4 years and they are very very close.
sometimes will spend time with her, waiting for her bf (sounds like i am a loser).
when i see photos of them, i feel very sad.
i think i shouldnt be doing this, as she is someone elses girl already.yes, there are so many other options, those no attached at least, yet i fall for her.
why in life, people who doesnt have feelings for you, you fall for them.
those you have no feelings, instead will fall for you.very frustrating.
Ask yourself this, do you think the girl will even think of you when she's making love to her boyfriend?
If not, do you think the girl will even think of you before she make love to her boyfriend?
If you're close to her boyfriend, then maybe her boyfriend will think of you after he had proceeded to rape her body and soul consensusly while making love to her.
Maybe it isn't that bad for you if you don't mind to wait for her boyfriend to utterly enjoyed her from the inside out and decided to dump her like his old condom so that you can still savour any remaining bits and pieces of his leftovers.
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Whats the difference. She will get used by her bf anyway. Men has the power after all
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Originally posted by Cries:
i have this problem now.
i have this group of friends, i seem to have fallen for a girl who is attached.
she is attached to her bf for about 3 years+ to 4 years and they are very very close.
sometimes will spend time with her, waiting for her bf (sounds like i am a loser).
when i see photos of them, i feel very sad.
i think i shouldnt be doing this, as she is someone elses girl already.yes, there are so many other options, those no attached at least, yet i fall for her.
why in life, people who doesnt have feelings for you, you fall for them.
those you have no feelings, instead will fall for you.very frustrating.
Anything that stands in the way or deter you, ignore, what matters is at the end of the day you are happy, you wont want to feel that "shit that time i regret not trying, she was the perfect girl". For all anyone might know, you might be the perfect guy for her, and that her current boyfriend and her got a lot of problems under the surface but she just doesnt talk about it. On the outside everything could be all smiles, but otherwise, nobody else would know. But good luck, this kind of thing, youll need a lot of patience, if you got, then i respect you, and im sure you will get her in time to come, it could even take years to be honest.
BUT of course like what EarlNeo and some others said, well, now you know what your looking for, it might be easier to just move on, holding on will just make the entire thing drag on longer, and things might get messy. Of course you can say shes the one and only kind in the world and stuff like that, and i wont argue, cause i wouldnt know, but anyway Good luck.
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You are only suffering from an infatuation, a crush. It's not a disease or madness, only something normal with all human beings. Everyone at some point in time developes infatuation with another, either with real life figures or fantasy figures.
But gradually, over time, when we realize the futility of it, when we do not get the responses we crave for from them, we grow out of it and seek for someone more real whom we can love and who loves us.
However, should you continue to build your world around this person of your infatuation, feeding it with your imagination and fantazies, and do not snap out it, it will become your reality, which is a delusion, harming your mental health and missing out on what you could have achieve in reality with similar effort and time with someone else.
Love is born out of needs. It is very obvious that the person of your infatuation has already found a man of her own that meet her needs and provide her with love, comfort and solace. No other person should rightfully come in between them and destroy something beautiful that had blossom between her and her partner.
Not all relationships go smoothly, and has its up and downs, which is only a purpose to know each other better - strength weaknesses and bonds. And it should not be anyone else biz to take opportunities when their relationship is down, when they are both at their most vulnerable, to separate them for one's selfish needs.
It is a despicable act and hated by almost everyone, an ungentlemanly act, no honour involved, but sadly, something some modern people seldom bother anymore....and term such acts as 'all's fair in the game of love'. But love is not a game...
I am in no position to give advice, but I suggest that you leave the couple alone. Give them your blessings instead and wish them well, give them encouragement when they hit rock bottom with the courage to stand up again with compromises for a long and lasting future together.
As long as you are sincere and genuine, you will always find friends, and within that circle friends whom will get to know you well and you them, love will blossom for you just as it had for the person of your infatuation. In time, your crush will ebb, with you spending more time and effort to build up your world around the one who loves you and whom you will love, cherish and treasure.
Good luck.
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Its perfectly ok to fall for someone. Its not your fault. Everyone will have a crush on someone that was not meant to be together. Some people fall in love with married person too.
No worries. If you really like the girl then you should fight for it! Dont wait any longer. Even if you fail, at least you know you have try.
Or you can choose to be her best friend and stay by her side to look after her. Some poeple is happy to be with the person they like even if they are just best friends.
It all depends on you. Good luck!=)
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thanks for all your advise
still hanging around together with her, but looking elsewhere.
yes i shouldnt disturb them =)
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get lost la you.... people already in a relationship you better dont go disturb... imagine next time your relationship kanna disturb by another guy lusting over your gf.
Dont even break up another couple if not your will be reincarnated as a baboon..
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if i were in your shoes, i would go for it, because it's an uncommon occurrence when we develop feelings for a particular person. besides, you'll feel like feel guilty for avoiding the chance to woo her. it's all about you, don't care about how others feel, as long as you can make the girl feel that you're the better one for her, go ahead
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May the best win.
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all is fair in love and war
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This is another situation of.. right place.. wrong time. lol
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agree with bunny
they're not married yet, and usually by the 4th year...the bf tends to take the gf for granted. go for it.