Usual sad teenage thing: Girl likes guy. Guy doesn't.
-
edited out please delete thread. thx
-
Originally posted by autumnfish:
Admired my classmate all year, been friends with him for a few months. We get along quite well for people who've been friends such a short time: some common interests, we talk quite a lot, etc. I really like him but he views me as a friend. And he has NS next year so by the time he is done I will be in my third year of uni and he will be a first-year student (we're going to the same overseas uni, same faculty).
Physically I'm not pretty, but he isn't so handsome either. But I'm attracted to his personality. And we definitely don't look compatible. But anyway.
We're probably too young for anything long-term/serious. We've had crushes before but it'd be a first serious relationship for him, and me. And I feel he is too important to lose to first-time relationships (notorious for failure if I'm not wrong) and he views romantic relationships as less important than other things in life. (So did I. Then I met him, and while I believe there are still more important things, romantic love suddenly started looking a lot more appealing.) My friends think the best thing to do is get over him and let friendship proceed as normal, but I don't know if I can get over him or if I want to get over him.I dunno if I can be friends with him cause my side of our friendship is already based around my not-very-platonic feelings. Also I'm the girl here. Confessing might make me look like some despo, and I feel that anything I do would be forcing myself on him. I don't want to make him do/feel anything he doesn't want to do/feel himself.
...what should be done here?
Hi autumnfish,
The most important factor which you must take into consideration is distance. Ask yourself truthfully, do you think that the two of you will be able to maintain a long distance relationship for four years?
You will only meet him physically during your Semester Breaks/Holidays, and if he entered a stay-in unit, it will only make the precious time that the two of you can have together even lesser. After you have graduated, you will return to Singapore, and he will stay overseas for yet another two years.
Since you know that he is not the type who will put a lot of effort into a relationship, you should know the most likely outcome of such a long distance relationship. As your friends have suggested, I will also suggest that you try to get over him, so as to prevent further heartache later.
Since he is going to do his NS soon, and you will be going overseas for your studies, the mutual distance between the two of you will likely widen by itself, to the point where you may find that the two of you have become distant friends after a few years.
Nevertheless, it is your own decision to make. Weigh your own options carefully before making any decisions that might make you regret later.
Cheers.
-
why no girls like me like that?
-
x
-
Originally posted by TrueHeart:
-
sometimes its the other way around lady. . . not all things are bad for u only. take it easy. your time will come
-
So are you saying that anyone who confesses are despos?!? Apart from that poorly biased judgement of yourself, i think (since you're at a young age where you should be having fun) that you should just let it move along and not brood too much about it.
Why tie yourselves down with a 'term' like steady or boyfriend/girlfriend, when you can still really really like each other and just be together.
If it happens, it happens. The most important thing is that both of you are transparent (no, not getting naked or anything like that hor) with each other on each other's appreciation and trust each other.
If it happens, it happens.. ; )
-
-
I won't say I'm good with girls, relationship and that kind of stuff but seems to me that if that feeling stays for like until you even get out of Uni.. Only one thing to do,
Wait for him until like he graduates and come back to Singapore. Than it would be ideal, you have a job, he is getting a job so fiance is covered. Both are in Singapore, distance is covered.
So you have two choices, either you get over him and stay friends, or wait for that feeling to just leave (Works for me everytime with a crush) or wait for him.
-
Guess you had been hit by cupid's arrow. Can be a painful experience, espacially at teenage. Not a girl and not yet a woman, with the necessary experience and maturity to deal with it sensibly.
But hey, if you dont fall in love, you will never gain the experience. You may think 1st love is often the most memorable, and often fail, you are right.
Comprehend this too - if you never try, there will never be a 1st time to get over, and forever you will never dare to get into relationships, because of the belief that 1st love always fail....
Rather than to constantly mull over it, I suggest that you go ahead to do what your heart is telling you to - express your love to him, at a right moment, and see how he feels about it, if he is ready to commit.
The worse that could happen would be for him to tell you gently to remain friends. If that is so, then at least your mind can be put to rest - love is not possible, and needless heartache would be avoided.
If his feelings are mutual for you in love, then it is a responsibility both of you must share, to make it real and keep to your committments, come what may, and develope that bond of love stronger than distance can separate both of you, espacially when technologies had shorten far distances to within seconds.
It may last, it may fail, no one knows for NONE can predict the future. It is in your hands and your decision, and if you had done what you think is best to still the beating in your heart, than there must be no regrets whatever the outcome, or only real pain will follow if you did nothing as time flies by.....
Good Luck and cheers to your budding romance. Everyone should experience such unforgettable moments in their lives.
. -
Originally posted by autumnfish:
Admired my classmate all year, been friends with him for a few months. We get along quite well for people who've been friends such a short time: some common interests, we talk quite a lot, etc. I really like him but he views me as a friend. And he has NS next year so by the time he is done I will be in my third year of uni and he will be a first-year student (we're going to the same overseas uni, same faculty).
Physically I'm not pretty, but he isn't so handsome either. And we definitely don't look compatible. But anyway. Am attracted to his personality.
We're probably too young for anything long-term/serious. We've had crushes before but it'd be a first serious relationship for him, and me. And I feel he is too important to lose to first-time relationships (notorious for failure if I'm not wrong) and he views romantic relationships as less important than other things in life. (So did I. Then I met him, and while I believe there are still more important things, romantic love suddenly started looking a lot more appealing.) My friends think the best thing to do is get over him and let friendship proceed as normal, but I don't know if I can get over him or if I want to.I dunno if I can be friends with him cause my side of our friendship is already based on my not-very-platonic feelings. Also I'm the girl here. Confessing might make me look like some despo, and I feel that anything I do would be forcing myself on him. I don't want to make him do/feel anything he doesn't want to do/feel himself.
Am at the age where I should be having fun and not expecting serious things, but still...
...what should be done here?
Edit: Apologies, I'm, er, not normally so emo. Thank you, everyone, for your words of advice. :)
autumnfish,
it's perfectly fine to develop feelings for a friend, especially if he's a fine young man with a personality u admire. crushes and attraction cannot be measured by looks n reciprocity, when u do, u do, when u don't, u just don't.
since u have feelings for him n both being single, there's no harm in showing ur affection through simple actions like getting him a farewell gift or something hand made. not all crushes and fondness have to result in a full blown relationship anyway. imo, being honest with how u feel whether directly or indirectly will suffice. as for the future and for the rest, just let nature take its course ba.
even though nothing materializes in the end, u can still look back on sweet memories.
don't be emo, seize the day n if u're sweet on him, let him know. jia you!
