Raising a Big Boy
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MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... everytime i look at this topic.. and I see the rolling on the floor part, I am damn amused... its damn funny...
5 year old boys no longer do that rolling stunt... so can you imagine at 30 year old guy rolling on the floor saying "i dont want to go, i dont want to do this" muahahaha... this is damn hilarious.
TS, I am sorry to say, but you have got quite a funny and comedy boyfriend... I just can believe... Rolling on the floor?? this is damn nutcase... wat a dick he is... rolling on the floor...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....
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Relationships are for adults, and clearly he doesnt qualify. Don't forget you're responsible for choosing to be with him in a relationship and you can choose otherwise. If there are other aspects of him that are worth you bearing his quirky immaturity then you'll just have to learn to accept the way he is and maybe focus on whats good in him.. Otherwise i dont see a reason for u to remain in the relationship. Letting go aint so hard especially when he seems to be treating you so badly
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there is no hope out there TS. wake up. 4 yrs is still not too late. imagine u going to take care of him for the rest of the life.
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too much job trying to change someone. isnt it easier to just find someone that fit? even changing urself is 10x easier and any attempted to change someone dun mean u get to have the perfect ideal molded end product. U might end up with something worse not to mention the addition stress pain incurred during the process.
if u are really that unhappy, set u and him free by finding urself another one whom can make u happy.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Don't think that # age = maturity level. There are plenty of 50 year old who still behaves like a baby. AKA adult kids.
Maturity is gained through pain and exposures to adversities.
If your man grew up in a sheltered environment and mommy-ed his whole life... there's 90% he's an ADULT KID.
His professional status does not equate to high level of maturity. Even a VP will stomp out of a meeting like a little boy who didn't get his way.
TS, I can't help laughing at the rolling on the floor part....haha!
Did he ever roll while you were dating? Anyway, I agree to jojobeach on certain points.
But your post did not mention him wanting to leave as well, so it's more one-sided than both. I think nobody here will really advocate splitting, unless it's really terrible.
Sadly, a man will probably remain how he is most of his life. You can try to change, but it's all superficial. An unfaithful person will always hunt for mistresses, a gambler will always gamble, a suicidal person will...well, you get the idea. It takes a lot of effort or a major incident to 'wake' a person up.
At the very least, both of you agree to counselling. I hope it works out for both of you. Lastly, remember to keep a first aid box at home, in case he rolls onto a thumb tack.
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Thank you guys so much for all your advices. I get the point, all of it.
I tried to leave several times, but he is very persistent and will come to my office, knock at my house door. I became submissive now as I fear very much he will cause a scene at my work place or house. It is really embarrassing as he will suddenly shout or walk very fast attracting attention from passer by.
Till now, my heart seems dead. It does not beat for this man anymore. But I can't leave as he wouldn't let go. I have tried like not talking or communicating for a month. But every single day he will wait downstair my office. It is hard to switch to that intense mode and it's tiring trying to explain or even walking away seems like a lot of effort as he will follow me all the way till I get home. The longest record I have lasted is a month. He will usually cry and whine when I get really firm on that few occasions. It's scary!
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Oh ya! It's X'mas Eve!
MERRY X'MAS TO ALL OF YOU! I love ya all!
Have a Fabulous time with your friends and family! Cheers!
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Thank you guys so much for all your advices. I get the point, all of it.
I tried to leave several times, but he is very persistent and will come to my office, knock at my house door. I became submissive now as I fear very much he will cause a scene at my work place or house. It is really embarrassing as he will suddenly shout or walk very fast attracting attention from passer by.
Till now, my heart seems dead. It does not beat for this man anymore. But I can't leave as he wouldn't let go. I have tried like not talking or communicating for a month. But every single day he will wait downstair my office. It is hard to switch to that intense mode and it's tiring trying to explain or even walking away seems like a lot of effort as he will follow me all the way till I get home. The longest record I have lasted is a month. He will usually cry and whine when I get really firm on that few occasions. It's scary!
Wow... seems like he's really a nutcase. If he wanna stay extreme in his own ways, ie. keep following you home everyday, you can try calling the police. This is considered harassment, especially when you don't wanna have anything to do with him anymore. Calling IMH is also another good option.
Can't believe that such a grown up man with such extremely childish mentality exist. Omg.
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Thank you guys so much for all your advices. I get the point, all of it.
I tried to leave several times, but he is very persistent and will come to my office, knock at my house door. I became submissive now as I fear very much he will cause a scene at my work place or house. It is really embarrassing as he will suddenly shout or walk very fast attracting attention from passer by.
Till now, my heart seems dead. It does not beat for this man anymore. But I can't leave as he wouldn't let go. I have tried like not talking or communicating for a month. But every single day he will wait downstair my office. It is hard to switch to that intense mode and it's tiring trying to explain or even walking away seems like a lot of effort as he will follow me all the way till I get home. The longest record I have lasted is a month. He will usually cry and whine when I get really firm on that few occasions. It's scary!
There's really no point in staying just because you fear him.
The only way to end his obsession with you, is to have another guy escort you home everyday.
If you have a very good male friend or male relative whom he has never met, get the favor and explain you need a temporary male escort so that you may end this sticky relationship. There are risks involved, but it is better now or never.
Good luck.
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maybe he really likes you lehx..and if you break up with him it will break his heart.
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Hi there,
Have you been with a guy who is older than you, but you feel like he is really just a boy inside in terms of mentality, behaviour, etc? It is tiring because you find yourself teaching him things, tolerating him, and even have to take care of his ego!
I am 27. He is 30. We are of a marriage age, but we can't because he is not 'old' enough to plan and action. What worst is he will fight with me constantly even in public. I am tortured mentally, as I am so afraid to be humiliated by him in public, at home in front of my family (I dun wan my family to worry about me) and I have to keep things in my heart.
On the extreme side, he messed things up when he is pissed, rolled on the floor when he lost control and do all kind of ridiculous actions to get your attention?
What would you do?
what do you do to notti little boys ? .... you bring the cane to them of course ......
seriously .... is that the kind of specimen you'd want to breed with ? ..... to be the father of your children ? ....
nuff said ...
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Originally posted by Fatum:
what do you do to notti little boys ? .... you bring the cane to them of course ......
seriously .... is that the kind of specimen you'd want to breed with ? ..... to be the father of your children ? ....
nuff said ...
I cant imagine if next time the father and son both roll on the floor...
TS sure faint~
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Imagine one day the children ask, "Ma, why is papa rolling on the floor in petulance?" LOL. Don't let this guy prevent you from finding better guys out there.
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Thank you guys so much for all your advices. I get the point, all of it.
I tried to leave several times, but he is very persistent and will come to my office, knock at my house door. I became submissive now as I fear very much he will cause a scene at my work place or house. It is really embarrassing as he will suddenly shout or walk very fast attracting attention from passer by.
Till now, my heart seems dead. It does not beat for this man anymore. But I can't leave as he wouldn't let go. I have tried like not talking or communicating for a month. But every single day he will wait downstair my office. It is hard to switch to that intense mode and it's tiring trying to explain or even walking away seems like a lot of effort as he will follow me all the way till I get home. The longest record I have lasted is a month. He will usually cry and whine when I get really firm on that few occasions. It's scary!
Hi Little Red Book,
Have some friends accompany you and make it very clear to him that you do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. Walk away and ignore him if he attempts to throw a tantrum. If he starts to get physically aggressive, have your friends come together as a group with yourself in order to deter him from trying anything.
In the case where he choose to continue ignoring what you have said and attempt to cause a scene at your office or your house, you may wish to consider calling in the police to deal with him.
Cheers.
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only little boys roll on the floor. OMG 30 yr old lol
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Hi Little Red Book,
Can I know the reason why he erm rolled on the floor? I would like to see the whole picture?
I am married mid 30's my wife is slightly older. I sometimes do "Roll on the floor"?
Kind Regards
Genie
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Hi Genie,
How do you "rolled on the floor" and why?
He will do that when I told him I wanted to end this relationship. He couldn't accept it and start to jump up and down, sit down on the floor, kick his legs and eventually lie down and turn left and right.
What's your version? ha...
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sorry guys!!!!
i tried to ignore but the rolling on the floor thing was very funny...
hahahhaaa
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To TS
Can I check if your bf does the "rolled on the floor" in front of his family members or his boss?
You can use this against him. The next time he try this stunt, use a video cam to record it down and show it to his boss..
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Hi Genie,
How do you "rolled on the floor" and why?
He will do that when I told him I wanted to end this relationship. He couldn't accept it and start to jump up and down, sit down on the floor, kick his legs and eventually lie down and turn left and right.
What's your version? ha...
Hi Little Red Book,
Sorry for the late response. To keep things short its because my wife does not like it when i'm serious. When i'm serious we end up quarrelling alot. So i thought of this idea to act like a kid "rolling on the floor" to get my wife...its similar to my wife's "sha jiao" to get the things she wants. The chances of getting what i want is higher and the risk off breaking into a argument is slimmer.
As for how I "roll on the floor" that is for me to know and not for you to find out lol.... surmise to say my in-laws saw it once and asked my wife if i was "chao lian dai".
Kind Regards
Genie
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Well, enough said.....
TS still has to make a choice
All advice have been given
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No one can change another with words - words are birds. One can at most be a catalyst and as to what is 'rite/wrong is always relative to what is.
As such, my suggestion (only) change your behavior and u may be sending the message across to ...
We always teach others how we like to be treated lar! Unlearn that aspect within U (being self-honest) and u may experience living differently!
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"On the extreme side, he messed things up when he is pissed, rolled on the floor when he lost control and do all kind of ridiculous actions to get your attention? "
this... is... dotss...
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Hey guys,
we had a bad fight again today.
It was really bad. Really bad, cos the police came. Started with us quarrelling and him throwing a can of drink out of our window down stair my house at the road! He then picked it up and throw it at my side of the window. This is followed by messing up the car, throwing EVERYTHING i have in my mind on the floor including my shoes!!!!
I went crazy, i really lost it. I struggled and hit him! He has a swollen lips.
Gosh, hell really break lose. What have i turned into??? It's really embarrassing that he kept screaming and just directly downstair my house. It's 1am in the morning!!!! God, I hope my parents didn't hear it, but how could that be? I am so afraid. I feel so alone, there's no one that I can talk to. I have deep frustration. The police that came saw us for the 2nd time in 3 months. The last time he made a mess at my office!
How do I get out of this? How?
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
Hey guys,
we had a bad fight again today.
It was really bad. Really bad, cos the police came. Started with us quarrelling and him throwing a can of drink out of our window down stair my house at the road! He then picked it up and throw it at my side of the window. This is followed by messing up the car, throwing EVERYTHING i have in my mind on the floor including my shoes!!!!
I went crazy, i really lost it. I struggled and hit him! He has a swollen lips.
Gosh, hell really break lose. What have i turned into??? It's really embarrassing that he kept screaming and just directly downstair my house. It's 1am in the morning!!!! God, I hope my parents didn't hear it, but how could that be? I am so afraid. I feel so alone, there's no one that I can talk to. I have deep frustration. The police that came saw us for the 2nd time in 3 months. The last time he made a mess at my office!
How do I get out of this? How?
He is a wounded animal.
Embarrassing it is. But all shall pass.
Why recurring ? You allow it so.
End it today.. not let it continue tomorrow.