Well, there are many resources availabe - but if ur father (parents) are not amenable to suggestions or possibilities , it is of no use.
My suggestion is talk with ... - without pointing fingers as to who was rite/wrong or .. and accept and move on with what is availabe and possible.
Seek your MPs for help if your problem ballooned and gets more complicated.
read pm
Originally posted by sparklesolitaire:A little background:
This has been ongoing for almost a few years. My family has shifted from hdb to condominiums (several in fact), one including a three-storey clustered house, and finally back to a HDB. The credit debt took a toll on my parents and we had to shift to a 4-room HDB flat. (Approx 1.5 years back). We’re a family of 5, me including 2 brothers (1 in NS, the other unemployed.)
I thought life would be better now after we moved out from the 3storey apartment as the housing loan is out of the way. However, this was not the case. Worse in fact since my dad can’t even afford to give my and my brother allowances. My parents, especially dad’s, credit card debts ballooned, and I kept overhearing my parents arguing over such issues (i.e. dad wants to borrow a sum from mom to pay off some overdue debt repayments etc). I have no idea how it ballooned up, and my dad being a very egoistic man refuse to open up to my mom, let alone the children. He did borrowed a sum (few hundred to a thousand) from my brother even.
According to my mother, she herself has debts $60-70k. My dad’s debt should probably hit over $100k. He has been going around borrowing from friends/family members as well.
Ever since I’ve started University (last August), I have came to realize the severity of my parents’ credit debts as they were not able to pay my school fees, and hence taking up a bank loan for it. I thought things would improve, but obviously, things are getting rougher for the family. Now, my parents are even considering selling the 4 Room flat too and we would have to live in rental apartments possibly. I suppose this is the very last resort.
I believe this problem is caused mainly from my dad’s careless spending habits and his mentality to not seek help or confide in others. I am at my wits now, I do not wish to see my parents living in abundant worries every other day. My twin brother and I have tried talking to my dad about it, but he always shun the matter. Even if we could talk about it, we are not in possess of any financial knowledge to advise on my dad.
Is there any one who could advise on my situation? Should we look for a debt counsellor etc? Does anyone know the costs of seeking one? Should my dad even contemplate declaring bankrupt?
But how come your parents own so many debts?
They gamble or what?
Originally posted by TooFree:Seek your MPs for help if your problem ballooned and gets more complicated.
a lot of people blame MPs for being too nonchalent and skeptical...
and why do MPs react like this...
cos got people like you guys... who when in debt go see MPs... as if they owe you a living... and have to da all ur problems....
all thing said.. i am not anti PAP like some siao kias in SC... neither am I pro PAP..
i am juz saying matter of factly....
Originally posted by sparklesolitaire:A little background:
This has been ongoing for almost a few years. My family has shifted from hdb to condominiums (several in fact), one including a three-storey clustered house, and finally back to a HDB. The credit debt took a toll on my parents and we had to shift to a 4-room HDB flat. (Approx 1.5 years back). We’re a family of 5, me including 2 brothers (1 in NS, the other unemployed.)
I thought life would be better now after we moved out from the 3storey apartment as the housing loan is out of the way. However, this was not the case. Worse in fact since my dad can’t even afford to give my and my brother allowances. My parents, especially dad’s, credit card debts ballooned, and I kept overhearing my parents arguing over such issues (i.e. dad wants to borrow a sum from mom to pay off some overdue debt repayments etc). I have no idea how it ballooned up, and my dad being a very egoistic man refuse to open up to my mom, let alone the children. He did borrowed a sum (few hundred to a thousand) from my brother even.
According to my mother, she herself has debts $60-70k. My dad’s debt should probably hit over $100k. He has been going around borrowing from friends/family members as well.
Ever since I’ve started University (last August), I have came to realize the severity of my parents’ credit debts as they were not able to pay my school fees, and hence taking up a bank loan for it. I thought things would improve, but obviously, things are getting rougher for the family. Now, my parents are even considering selling the 4 Room flat too and we would have to live in rental apartments possibly. I suppose this is the very last resort.
I believe this problem is caused mainly from my dad’s careless spending habits and his mentality to not seek help or confide in others. I am at my wits now, I do not wish to see my parents living in abundant worries every other day. My twin brother and I have tried talking to my dad about it, but he always shun the matter. Even if we could talk about it, we are not in possess of any financial knowledge to advise on my dad.
Is there any one who could advise on my situation? Should we look for a debt counsellor etc? Does anyone know the costs of seeking one? Should my dad even contemplate declaring bankrupt?
Sparkle,
Bankruptcy is not an easy way out of debt.
Here is a link to information about bankruptcy in Singapore . Click here --> Insolvency and Public Trustee office
or
You may also seek assistance from the Credit Counselling Singapore at the following contact:
Credit Counselling Singapore
#12-01 Maxwell House, 20 Maxwell Road,
Singapore 069113
General line: 6338 2663 | Fax: 6338 6586
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.ccs.org.sg
It is time both you and your brother seek employment and be self-sufficient.
The financial problem is not yours to fix.
Ask not what your parents need to do for you, you need to ask what you can do to be a lesser burden.
While it is a moral/social obligation for your parents to fully provide for you and your sibling till you step into the work force. It is however, wrong of you to EXPECT them to do so at your age.
When you stop holding your parents responsible to their action, you will become free from this stress and sorrow that does not belong to you.
ya dont think bankruptcy means end of story. the debts will still have to be paid off , and your dad will have a lot of his rights taken off. only thing is if he declare bankrupt, then banks will not hound him, they will just have to accept the monthly payment that he gives them. double sided really.
I agree with jojobeach...
We can state our opinions, but we are not professional advisors on financial matters.
For you, don't let the family problems affect your uni studies, if not you won't score well, which could translate to lesser earnings and then longer time to pay any debts if you decided to pay for your parents. Remember you would still have your uni sch fees to service...
if the problem is you dad's spending and your mum still earns enough to support the rest of the family, the best way is to cut him off. pay only for the bills incurred by the rest of the family, makeit clear to relatives you won't pay for your father's debt.
This way the liability is only confined to your father and you can still live ok.
With the huge amount, if you don't lay out all the loans and try pay it whatever you can at the moment, it will snowball very fast which soon it will be beyond what your family can even pay.
Remember, once the loan + interest snowball - amount will should keep doubling.
Your dad and mum should - layout all their debts, sell all their assets and pay off all they can, the reminder can work out how to month pay off.
ts gone le. the last time she posted was 2008.
Originally posted by sparklesolitaire:A little background:
This has been ongoing for almost a few years. My family has shifted from hdb to condominiums (several in fact), one including a three-storey clustered house, and finally back to a HDB. The credit debt took a toll on my parents and we had to shift to a 4-room HDB flat. (Approx 1.5 years back). We’re a family of 5, me including 2 brothers (1 in NS, the other unemployed.)
I thought life would be better now after we moved out from the 3storey apartment as the housing loan is out of the way. However, this was not the case. Worse in fact since my dad can’t even afford to give my and my brother allowances. My parents, especially dad’s, credit card debts ballooned, and I kept overhearing my parents arguing over such issues (i.e. dad wants to borrow a sum from mom to pay off some overdue debt repayments etc). I have no idea how it ballooned up, and my dad being a very egoistic man refuse to open up to my mom, let alone the children. He did borrowed a sum (few hundred to a thousand) from my brother even.
According to my mother, she herself has debts $60-70k. My dad’s debt should probably hit over $100k. He has been going around borrowing from friends/family members as well.
Ever since I’ve started University (last August), I have came to realize the severity of my parents’ credit debts as they were not able to pay my school fees, and hence taking up a bank loan for it. I thought things would improve, but obviously, things are getting rougher for the family. Now, my parents are even considering selling the 4 Room flat too and we would have to live in rental apartments possibly. I suppose this is the very last resort.
I believe this problem is caused mainly from my dad’s careless spending habits and his mentality to not seek help or confide in others. I am at my wits now, I do not wish to see my parents living in abundant worries every other day. My twin brother and I have tried talking to my dad about it, but he always shun the matter. Even if we could talk about it, we are not in possess of any financial knowledge to advise on my dad.
Is there any one who could advise on my situation? Should we look for a debt counsellor etc? Does anyone know the costs of seeking one? Should my dad even contemplate declaring bankrupt?
Hi sparklesolitaire,
Just as the other forummers have kindly suggested, your main focus now should be on your studies, as there is nothing much you can do with regards to your parents' debts. If the worst scenario is to play out, with both your parents losing their jobs and becoming bankrupts, they will have to depend on you and your sibling.
With both your parents having debts of over $60k each, it speaks a lot about their spending habits. Credit counselling is indubitably important, but you may wish to help out by keeping an eye out for your parents, especially when they attempt to splurge on what they want, not what they need.
Cheers.
Originally posted by sparklesolitaire:hi all, thanks so much for the advises here.
IM sorry for this late reply! Busy from school!! thanks jojobeach for the contact, I will persuade my dad to go for credit counseling. I sure do hope something would worked out from there!
For a good start, me and my twin brother have already spoken to dad, we worked out sums that he owed, and how much does he spent every month, and on what (frankly, it’s mostly on lottery and drinking beer, and providing for my elder brother (as mentioned, he’s unemployed, and is really another problem our family is facing)
Yes and I believe I should also change my mindset too. Sometimes, I feel kinda envious when peers of my age do not have to worry about their own school fees, let alone their parents’ finance. But I guess this is my family’s karma, something I can’t run away from. I’ve accepted it, put my grudges down. All I hope now is for my Dad to work with the rest of us. Meanwhile, I’m trying to get tuition assignments to cope with my own allowance.
side note: mom don’t really have a stable income. property agent you see. she’s been working really hard too. And for sure I wouldn’t wanna cut off ties with my dad!! I’ll try my best to make things work!!
again, thanks everyone so much for the enthusiastic response!!!
But some property agents earn alot of money leh..
Originally posted by sparklesolitaire:hi all, thanks so much for the advises here.
IM sorry for this late reply! Busy from school!! thanks jojobeach for the contact, I will persuade my dad to go for credit counseling. I sure do hope something would worked out from there!
For a good start, me and my twin brother have already spoken to dad, we worked out sums that he owed, and how much does he spent every month, and on what (frankly, it’s mostly on lottery and drinking beer, and providing for my elder brother (as mentioned, he’s unemployed, and is really another problem our family is facing)
Yes and I believe I should also change my mindset too. Sometimes, I feel kinda envious when peers of my age do not have to worry about their own school fees, let alone their parents’ finance. But I guess this is my family’s karma, something I can’t run away from. I’ve accepted it, put my grudges down. All I hope now is for my Dad to work with the rest of us. Meanwhile, I’m trying to get tuition assignments to cope with my own allowance.
side note: mom don’t really have a stable income. property agent you see. she’s been working really hard too. And for sure I wouldn’t wanna cut off ties with my dad!! I’ll try my best to make things work!!
again, thanks everyone so much for the enthusiastic response!!!
Hi sparklesolitaire,
May I kindly know the reason as to why your sibling is unemployed? I certainly hope that he is spending most of his time looking for a job right now.
It is alright to seek tuition assignments, but I sincerely hope that you will not overburden yourself to the point that your studies are negatively affected.
Cheers.
not all property agents earn alot. if not also will not have people change jobs le.
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