R/S, life and other issues
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Hello ppl,
Appreciate if you could give me some advice. I apologize for the lengthy post. Let me give info about myself. I am a guy, 24 this year. Studying accountancy at NTU (year 1).
I am facing some issues that its affecting me. And I dont want these issues to affect me this semester.
On StudiesMy previous semester results was bad. I only got a 3/5 gpa. Previously, people commented that I am so old, shouldnt be in year one. At 24, I should be in year 3 now. It just make me feel like I am not fit to be a NBS undergrad.
I have problems with project groupmates too. Though they do contribute in project work, I am not close with them. Its like I will only meet them for work only. One of the member is in fact kinda lazy. Always handing in her part at the last minute. I am thinking of changing group mates this sem. Should I?
I really want to improve my results. What should I do? But the problem by spending so much time in studying I will scarifice so much other thngs in life..
On R/S
These days I am seeing more and more real-life friends and friends on facebook getting attached. The more I see the more I question myself. "Why never make an attempt to get to know the girl better? Look.. now she is attached". "Look the girl that was interested in you but you turn her away in sec sch. Happily attached and so pretty now".
I will think to myself.. "I am 24. You think you are still young? Why am I still single? Why arent you getting to know more girls and chase the girls that you like? Why 24 already and dont even have the experience of being in a r/s"
The problem is that my social circle is really small. And I do not know how to interact well with females. Also, I am quiet and boring. Everyday after lessons I will just head back to hall. I am just bad with girls.
Actually I would like to join CCAs and know more people, but because of my weak academic abilities, I did not join. I always tell myself that "I want to score better, dont get a gf now and let it affect you. Dont be selfish, you dont have time for her" But isnt that just an excuse? Because I can at most talk to her for a while each day on the phone and meetup once a week.
How do I get to know more females other than through CCAs?
Because of all these issues, thought not big, it sort of make me kinda a depressive person. I want my life to change. I want to change for the better. But what should I do?
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eh deh
live everyday like ur last
and be urself la deh
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
Hello ppl,
Appreciate if you could give me some advice. I apologize for the lengthy post. Let me give info about myself. I am a guy, 24 this year. Studying accountancy at NTU (year 1).
I am facing some issues that its affecting me. And I dont want these issues to affect me this semester.
On StudiesMy previous semester results was bad. I only got a 3/5 gpa. Previously, people commented that I am so old, shouldnt be in year one. At 24, I should be in year 3 now. It just make me feel like I am not fit to be a NBS undergrad.
I have problems with project groupmates too. Though they do contribute in project work, I am not close with them. Its like I will only meet them for work only. One of the member is in fact kinda lazy. Always handing in her part at the last minute. I am thinking of changing group mates this sem. Should I?
I really want to improve my results. What should I do? But the problem by spending so much time in studying I will scarifice so much other thngs in life..
On R/S
These days I am seeing more and more real-life friends and friends on facebook getting attached. The more I see the more I question myself. "Why never make an attempt to get to know the girl better? Look.. now she is attached". "Look the girl that was interested in you but you turn her away in sec sch. Happily attached and so pretty now".
I will think to myself.. "I am 24. You think you are still young? Why am I still single? Why arent you getting to know more girls and chase the girls that you like? Why 24 already and dont even have the experience of being in a r/s"
The problem is that my social circle is really small. And I do not know how to interact well with females. Also, I am quiet and boring. Everyday after lessons I will just head back to hall. I am just bad with girls.
Actually I would like to join CCAs and know more people, but because of my weak academic abilities, I did not join. I always tell myself that "I want to score better, dont get a gf now and let it affect you. Dont be selfish, you dont have time for her" But isnt that just an excuse? Because I can at most talk to her for a while each day on the phone and meetup once a week.
How do I get to know more females other than through CCAs?
Because of all these issues, thought not big, it sort of make me kinda a depressive person. I want my life to change. I want to change for the better. But what should I do?
Don't apologise, you are here to seek help.
On project work, it is like that one. There are bound to be riders and hard-workers. If you aim to be at the top, than you will have to work beyond your scope and limit. Do everything you can do, not just everything you are assigned to do. No matter how you swap, there is bound to be a rider or two in your group, or those who think that doing the minimum is good enough.
And I will tell you that it is unavoidable that a lot of things have to be given up. I use to game a lot, watch animes, watch mangas, give tuition, do charity work, but now I have given out almost of all these, except watching the one piece manga which comes out each week. :P However, even with all these "sacrifices", I am not top of my cohort ( I am a 1st year like you, I study in NIE though. ).
On relationship, let me tell you this, getting a girlfriend will likely have a negative impact on your results. Sure, there are some people out there who can balance it out, but for most of us, if we want to be at the very top, we cannot devote much time into relationship issues. And please, do not get a gf for the sake of getting one, go after one ONLY AFTER you have find someone who you are actually interested in.
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TS, you are not alone. i'm 24 and currently studying in NTU. my CGPA is not high and i'm single too. look, if u work hard, i'm sure u'll be able to pull up ur CGPA and what's wrong with being single? we are still young so there's no hurry to settle down. let's focus on our studies and that's our priority right now.
talk to your close friends if you need to. or you can approach NTU counselling service if you need professional help.
semester just started and it's important to focus right from the beginning. take care bro. all the best to you~
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
The problem is that my social circle is really small. And I do not know how to interact well with females. Also, I am quiet and boring. Everyday after lessons I will just head back to hall. I am just bad with girls.
Actually I would like to join CCAs and know more people, but because of my weak academic abilities, I did not join. I always tell myself that "I want to score better, dont get a gf now and let it affect you. Dont be selfish, you dont have time for her" But isnt that just an excuse? Because I can at most talk to her for a while each day on the phone and meetup once a week.
How do I get to know more females other than through CCAs?
Because of all these issues, thought not big, it sort of make me kinda a depressive person. I want my life to change. I want to change for the better. But what should I do?
Hi :) For your studies, I cant help much as I'm only going to be J1 this year, but for your life & r/s problems I have a few things to say...
The problem lies with your CONFIDENCE. From your post, I can see that you are lagging in studies, and due to past experiences I expect, you are afraid to open yourself up to other people. In other words, you are like an introvert. ( Sorry, I'm not trying to offend you, but its the truth :S)SO....what you have to do is just...open up yourself to other people. What I am saying is that you don't need to change overnight, but just gradually... try to smile more often, be friendly to your friends and others, and slowly the people around you will find you more approachable. By doing this, you will be able to enlarge your social circle. Knowing more people helps in all ways. When interacting with them, you can learn all sorts of things, and you get more even more connections, because it makes it easier for you to meet THEIR friends, and befriend them too. Try to hang out with those humorous/interesting people, when you are around them you can have fun, PLUS, environment is a big scary factor, you will find that you too, are becoming a more interesting person. Also, this will help you in your studies too, you get more people to ask questions about your studies, and you can also study together with them.This is just the first step. It will improve your confidence bit by bit.What you have to know is it is not by birth that we people are decided as introverts or extroverts, those deemed as extroverts are just people who got used to meeting people, etc, at an early point in their life. Then there are those "introverts" that realised they would be on the losing end if they continue shutting themselves out from the society, hence they become "extroverts" to remain competitive with their mates, even if they originally don't like interacting with other people. That is what you have to do. Stop shutting yourself out and let people get to know you :) In the process you can rediscover yourself, know all kinds of people, know what type of GIRL you like xPYeh, hope you get my point
And for love, don't rush :PHope my post helped you xD I took sooooo long trying to type what I want to say in my VIRGIN post xD -
If you very sure that you can't commit to a relationship, then don't go for one yet. But i think it is good idea to join a cca to build up your confidence and widen your social circle. You don't just need good results but also need good cca record to get a job.
Study should be your priority bah but then don't neglect to develop your other emotional and social self. Live life to your fullest and you are still young - 24 year old is still young lah. Jiayou jiayou~! You don't have to tell people your age unless they ask you right?
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Hi there. You know I had that kind of 'crisis' too when I was 24! I felt that I am already this old and I haven't accomplished anything in life.
My advice is simple. Take each day one step at a time. When you see an opportunity, grasp it. If you have a target, work towards it. You said you want to improve in your results? Then let it be your target. Sacrific game/play time is a must.
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Just be yourself.
It's pointless to be in a relationship that you're unable to support all the way. Therefore, it would be better if you were to focus on the more pertinent aspects of your life, like your studies.
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as long you can graduate from your course, who cares about GPA.
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Originally posted by Rooney9:
as long you can graduate from your course, who cares about GPA.
Your pay, and even rank in positions which concern it, is tied to your Class of Honors for quite a number of jobs in the government sector. Even in the private sectors, a 1st class or 2nd upper will undeniably be much more recognised.
And if one wants to continue his/her studies in a reputable uni, or at least one which is recognisable, it will do him/her good to have at least a 2nd upper Honors.
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1) If you are good enough you can do the whole group project yourself. Why care about the others? If they do not wish to work just let them be, by doing more projects you understand much better.
2) 24 is still way to young lar. You should be thinking of your studies first.
No uni degree= less money = no house = no gf = no wife.
3) Imagine getting only pay $1600 a month and have to work 12 hours a day, you will know what i mean
4)
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Thank you all for the replies. I read through all.
Most of you encourage me to place my studies as my priority?
Frankly, if possible, I would like to juggle between being good in studies as well as going out and meet more girls and possibly settle down with a girl if I find that I like her.
But then now is only the end of week 2 in NTU and I am already having difficulties in coping with my studies.
Anyone can give advice on how to cope as well as strive in having the best of both worlds?
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
Thank you all for the replies. I read through all.
Most of you encourage me to place my studies as my priority?
Frankly, if possible, I would like to juggle between being good in studies as well as going out and meet more girls and possibly settle down with a girl if I find that I like her.
But then now is only the end of week 2 in NTU and I am already having difficulties in coping with my studies.
Anyone can give advice on how to cope as well as strive in having the best of both worlds?
Studies indeed should be your priority. Some guys ( Not you ) tend to forget that they are in a university to study, not to flirt with girls.
As for being in good in studies, it depends on how "good" you aspire to be. If you are aiming for 1st class, it is likely that you will have to be as no-life as I am, working and not resting at 3 in the morning. Having a girlfriend is almost certainly out of question.
As I said, those who have the best of both worlds...are usually the geniuses. And I am not one of them, so I will have to make up for my shortcoming with my effort.
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
Thank you all for the replies. I read through all.
Most of you encourage me to place my studies as my priority?
Frankly, if possible, I would like to juggle between being good in studies as well as going out and meet more girls and possibly settle down with a girl if I find that I like her.
But then now is only the end of week 2 in NTU and I am already having difficulties in coping with my studies.
Anyone can give advice on how to cope as well as strive in having the best of both worlds?
from what i see you cannot. here people will tell you all the positive stuffs, stuffs that everyone with a brain knows. its still you in the end. you have to execute it. get your paper and loook for a job after that. for a life long partner you nid to look for one that can click well with you. no nid many.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
Studies indeed should be your priority. Some guys ( Not you ) tend to forget that they are in a university to study, not to flirt with girls.
As for being in good in studies, it depends on how "good" you aspire to be. If you are aiming for 1st class, it is likely that you will have to be as no-life as I am, working and not resting at 3 in the morning. Having a girlfriend is almost certainly out of question.
As I said, those who have the best of both worlds...are usually the geniuses. And I am not one of them, so I will have to make up for my shortcoming with my effort.
I am just contented with a 2nd upper if its possible.
true that in uni its a place to study. but isnt it at uni that we build up relationship, get a gf and things like that? cause once out in the working world, most of them would already be married or engaged.
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
I am just contented with a 2nd upper if its possible.
true that in uni its a place to study. but isnt it at uni that we build up relationship, get a gf and things like that? cause once out in the working world, most of them would already be married or engaged.
2nd upper is good enough. well for me, i'm happy if i survive my course. which course are you in btw?
i agree to some extent that uni is also a place to build up relationship, get a gf etc.
first of all, ask yourself, "do i really wanna be in a relationship?" if yes, ask yourself again, "do i wanna have a serious relationship? or just a fling?" in my opinion, i feel that nowadays most young ppl just wanna have flings and i'm not surprise at all. of cus there are cases where couples started dating during uni and ended up getting married years down the road. but how many cases are there? not much i guess.
in my opinion, if you truly love someone, you would wanna provide her with everything. right now, ask yourself, "what can i provide her?" tough question? and this is exactly why i didn't ask someone i like out recently. cus i've no answer to the previous question. at the moment, i'm just a student, i've no career, i've no car, i've no income, i'm not financially stable. "so what exactly can i provide her?" nothing much.
once again, if you truly love someone, you would wanna provide her with the best you ever had.
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Originally posted by lonestar86:
2nd upper is good enough. well for me, i'm happy if i survive my course. which course are you in btw?
i agree to some extent that uni is also a place to build up relationship, get a gf etc.
first of all, ask yourself, "do i really wanna be in a relationship?" if yes, ask yourself again, "do i wanna have a serious relationship? or just a fling?" in my opinion, i feel that nowadays most young ppl just wanna have flings and i'm not surprise at all. of cus there are cases where couples started dating during uni and ended up getting married years down the road. but how many cases are there? not much i guess.
in my opinion, if you truly love someone, you would wanna provide her with everything. right now, ask yourself, "what can i provide her?" tough question? and this is exactly why i didn't ask someone i like out recently. cus i've no answer to the previous question. at the moment, i'm just a student, i've no career, i've no car, i've no income, i'm not financially stable. "so what exactly can i provide her?" nothing much.
once again, if you truly love someone, you would wanna provide her with the best you ever had.
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
I am just contented with a 2nd upper if its possible.
true that in uni its a place to study. but isnt it at uni that we build up relationship, get a gf and things like that? cause once out in the working world, most of them would already be married or engaged.
It is a good place to get a gf, because out in the working society, it will be that much harder to find one. But as lonestar said, are you able to support one? I am not talking about high maintenance girls, but at the very, very least you should be able to pay for dinner, movies, dates...etc.
In turn, unless you are still receiving allowance from your parents ( Which I hope you are not ), you will have to find your own part time job and juggle your studies with it. It should be quite obvious what will happen to your results.
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Whoever told you 24 is too old for being a Year 1 Undergrad? An A' Levels student told you that? Tell him/her that he/she is dumb, fine example of low IQ & EQ as well as a complete prick.
And stop finding excuses for your poor performance in University, blame yourself not others.
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Originally posted by Agenda:
Whoever told you 24 is too old for being a Year 1 Undergrad? An A' Levels student told you that? Tell him/her that he/she is dumb, fine example of low IQ & EQ as well as a complete prick.
And stop finding excuses for your poor performance in University, blame yourself not others.
In my postings, if you read through, I did not blame anyone for my poor perf in uni.
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Originally posted by WhatToDo-:
Hello ppl,
Appreciate if you could give me some advice. I apologize for the lengthy post. Let me give info about myself. I am a guy, 24 this year. Studying accountancy at NTU (year 1).
I am facing some issues that its affecting me. And I dont want these issues to affect me this semester.
On StudiesMy previous semester results was bad. I only got a 3/5 gpa. Previously, people commented that I am so old, shouldnt be in year one. At 24, I should be in year 3 now. It just make me feel like I am not fit to be a NBS undergrad.
I have problems with project groupmates too. Though they do contribute in project work, I am not close with them. Its like I will only meet them for work only. One of the member is in fact kinda lazy. Always handing in her part at the last minute. I am thinking of changing group mates this sem. Should I?
I really want to improve my results. What should I do? But the problem by spending so much time in studying I will scarifice so much other thngs in life..
On R/S
These days I am seeing more and more real-life friends and friends on facebook getting attached. The more I see the more I question myself. "Why never make an attempt to get to know the girl better? Look.. now she is attached". "Look the girl that was interested in you but you turn her away in sec sch. Happily attached and so pretty now".
I will think to myself.. "I am 24. You think you are still young? Why am I still single? Why arent you getting to know more girls and chase the girls that you like? Why 24 already and dont even have the experience of being in a r/s"
The problem is that my social circle is really small. And I do not know how to interact well with females. Also, I am quiet and boring. Everyday after lessons I will just head back to hall. I am just bad with girls.
Actually I would like to join CCAs and know more people, but because of my weak academic abilities, I did not join. I always tell myself that "I want to score better, dont get a gf now and let it affect you. Dont be selfish, you dont have time for her" But isnt that just an excuse? Because I can at most talk to her for a while each day on the phone and meetup once a week.
How do I get to know more females other than through CCAs?
Because of all these issues, thought not big, it sort of make me kinda a depressive person. I want my life to change. I want to change for the better. But what should I do?
Hi WhatToDo,
Do not fret too much over your results, have faith in yourself, and tell yourself that if you work harder, your CGPA will improve. Don't worry too much about your age, the most important thing is that you are there to learn. On a side note, if I am not wrong, there are returning teachers in NIE taking their Bachelor's Degree at the age of 60+.
As for your project work, it is inevitable that there will be people who put in little or no effort at all. What is most important is for you to do as much as you could, not just for your own part, but also for the entire group.
To be honest to you, results do not come easily. You are competing with other undergraduates, and thus you will have to put in a lot of effort even if you are only aiming for a 2nd upper honors. You will have to weigh for yourself - Are your results more important or are those things in your life more important.
If you truly wish to look for a girlfriend, you can try dating services / single sessions - Some faculties actually have them from time to time, though I can't say for yours. However, as many of the other forummers have kindly pointed out, it is your studies against getting another half, thus I hope you will make a wise decision.
Cheers.