heartbreaken
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Hello to all. This is my first post. Hope some one can help me with my problems.
I am a guy. Age range between 18-22. My gf is one year younger than me.
My problem is that we are having frequent quarrels. She is very hot tempered person. Other than that she is very nice person.
I have done my best by tolerating her even to the point where i feel i get humiliated in front of strangers; as in she scold me in front of them or show me cold face in front of the strangers...so meaning the strangers all know that we are having an arguement etc. I spend all my time with her. Buy her alot of stuff whenever i got the money. She also do likewise. Send her home everyday without fail. Sometimes starve myself because we quarrel or because i got no money to eat after spending all my money on the bus fare to send her home. My gf does not know about this "starving" issue. I always am very concerned about her. Always remind her that i am there for her always even if she fails in somethings that she do.
But i feel she take me for granted. Always dun care about my feelings. Always whenever she angry she hurt me alot. Dun talk to me etc. I feel very heartbreaken. Our relationship turns 6 months old today.
Yesterday she received her result for a paper where she expected to score more than 90 marks. In the end she got disappointed but still got an A grade. She feel very unhappy cause she aim high always but score low. As for me, i aim low but score high. She feels that she put in alot of effort to study but then the results dun reflect her efforts. After the results, she cry and i go to her house to console her. She tell me she duwan see me etc. So after awhile i left the house very sad.
When i reach home, after some time at night she sms me saying that TODAY she going to her fren house to play games. I was thinking "today our 6th month and every month u celebrate with me. now just because of a result you want to go fren house". i then thought never mind, let her go as it might cheer her up. Then today when she came to school she told me that she not going to her friend house. So i happy thought that she will spend the day with me. Unfortunately, after school she want to go home. I ask her if she wants to go out later in the day but she declined. I feel so hurt man. She can go play games with her friend even when she feels low.. but cant go out with me. Really feel very heartbroken.
Where did i go wrong?
GALS: if u were my gf shoes, would u rather i leave u alone since u got disappointed with ut results?
Also what is the meaning of u going over to you rfriend house but cant go out with me?
Also will you people celebrate every month/ year togerther with your stead?
I feel so sad.... dunno why i feel like i am being taken for granted.
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I sae, U need to get her to tok wif U & sort things out... tell her how U feel... sae U cannot always agree to her everything... get a compromise...Originally posted by heartbreaken:Hello to all. This is my first post. Hope some one can help me with my problems.
I am a guy. Age range between 18-22. My gf is one year younger than me.
My problem is that we are having frequent quarrels. She is very hot tempered person. Other than that she is very nice person.
I have done my best by tolerating her even to the point where i feel i get humiliated in front of strangers; as in she scold me in front of them or show me cold face in front of the strangers...so meaning the strangers all know that we are having an arguement etc. I spend all my time with her. Buy her alot of stuff whenever i got the money. She also do likewise. Send her home everyday without fail. Sometimes starve myself because we quarrel or because i got no money to eat after spending all my money on the bus fare to send her home. My gf does not know about this "starving" issue. I always am very concerned about her. Always remind her that i am there for her always even if she fails in somethings that she do.
But i feel she take me for granted. Always dun care about my feelings. Always whenever she angry she hurt me alot. Dun talk to me etc. I feel very heartbreaken. Our relationship turns 6 months old today.
Yesterday she received her result for a paper where she expected to score more than 90 marks. In the end she got disappointed but still got an A grade. She feel very unhappy cause she aim high always but score low. As for me, i aim low but score high. She feels that she put in alot of effort to study but then the results dun reflect her efforts. After the results, she cry and i go to her house to console her. She tell me she duwan see me etc. So after awhile i left the house very sad.
When i reach home, after some time at night she sms me saying that TODAY she going to her fren house to play games. I was thinking "today our 6th month and every month u celebrate with me. now just because of a result you want to go fren house". i then thought never mind, let her go as it might cheer her up. Then today when she came to school she told me that she not going to her friend house. So i happy thought that she will spend the day with me. Unfortunately, after school she want to go home. I ask her if she wants to go out later in the day but she declined. I feel so hurt man. She can go play games with her friend even when she feels low.. but cant go out with me. Really feel very heartbroken.
Where did i go wrong?
GALS: if u were my gf shoes, would u rather i leave u alone since u got disappointed with ut results?
Also what is the meaning of u going over to you rfriend house but cant go out with me?
Also will you people celebrate every month/ year togerther with your stead?
I feel so sad.... dunno why i feel like i am being taken for granted.
if she still dun listen or try to understand how U feel... sorry to sae but, I tink its better to break up... I dun tink its worth it to be wif some1 whos so indifferent to yr feelings & always hurt U... -
she is taking u for granted??
she has lost some feelings for u, i.e. feelings for u not as strong as b4 and declining??
if the above is true, why is this so??
izzit because u r a very boring bf, and she is the type that seeks fun, or maybe izzit the things u do also declining, never take the initiative and drive to chase her when u 2 just started out......
think abt this....good luck -
language problem......the last part is......izzzit the things u do also declining, as in u have lost some of the initiative and drive when u last time had when u just started to woo her.......Originally posted by Cerebral_Assassin:she is taking u for granted??
she has lost some feelings for u, i.e. feelings for u not as strong as b4 and declining??
if the above is true, why is this so??
izzit because u r a very boring bf, and she is the type that seeks fun, or maybe izzit the things u do also declining, never take the initiative and drive to chase her when u 2 just started out......
think abt this....good luck
the problem might lie with u and not on her part -
i dun wanna break up with her... i cant do it.Originally posted by loneryu00:I sae, U need to get her to tok wif U & sort things out... tell her how U feel... sae U cannot always agree to her everything... get a compromise...
if she still dun listen or try to understand how U feel... sorry to sae but, I tink its better to break up... I dun tink its worth it to be wif some1 whos so indifferent to yr feelings & always hurt U...
she is gd when her temper does not flare up -
i treat her the same if not better than what i did when we started out. and i m not boring. she always tell me i am very fun. i am always the joker etc..centre of attraction where ever i am. so u cant say that i am boring. even her family always like my presence. my gf she even shouts at her mum when angry.Originally posted by Cerebral_Assassin:she is taking u for granted??
she has lost some feelings for u, i.e. feelings for u not as strong as b4 and declining??
if the above is true, why is this so??
izzit because u r a very boring bf, and she is the type that seeks fun, or maybe izzit the things u do also declining, never take the initiative and drive to chase her when u 2 just started out......
think abt this....good luck -
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But U really have to voice... I believe she does not wanna hurt U... juz dat she seems oblivious of it when U r hurt by her... tok to her... let her noe...Originally posted by heartbreaken:i dun wanna break up with her... i cant do it.
she is gd when her temper does not flare up -
Dear heartbreaken,Originally posted by heartbreaken:Hello to all. This is my first post. Hope some one can help me with my problems.
I am a guy. Age range between 18-22. My gf is one year younger than me.
My problem is that we are having frequent quarrels. She is very hot tempered person. Other than that she is very nice person.
I have done my best by tolerating her even to the point where i feel i get humiliated in front of strangers; as in she scold me in front of them or show me cold face in front of the strangers...so meaning the strangers all know that we are having an arguement etc. I spend all my time with her. Buy her alot of stuff whenever i got the money. She also do likewise. Send her home everyday without fail. Sometimes starve myself because we quarrel or because i got no money to eat after spending all my money on the bus fare to send her home. My gf does not know about this "starving" issue. I always am very concerned about her. Always remind her that i am there for her always even if she fails in somethings that she do.
But i feel she take me for granted. Always dun care about my feelings. Always whenever she angry she hurt me alot. Dun talk to me etc. I feel very heartbreaken. Our relationship turns 6 months old today.
Yesterday she received her result for a paper where she expected to score more than 90 marks. In the end she got disappointed but still got an A grade. She feel very unhappy cause she aim high always but score low. As for me, i aim low but score high. She feels that she put in alot of effort to study but then the results dun reflect her efforts. After the results, she cry and i go to her house to console her. She tell me she duwan see me etc. So after awhile i left the house very sad.
When i reach home, after some time at night she sms me saying that TODAY she going to her fren house to play games. I was thinking "today our 6th month and every month u celebrate with me. now just because of a result you want to go fren house". i then thought never mind, let her go as it might cheer her up. Then today when she came to school she told me that she not going to her friend house. So i happy thought that she will spend the day with me. Unfortunately, after school she want to go home. I ask her if she wants to go out later in the day but she declined. I feel so hurt man. She can go play games with her friend even when she feels low.. but cant go out with me. Really feel very heartbroken.
Where did i go wrong?
GALS: if u were my gf shoes, would u rather i leave u alone since u got disappointed with ut results?
Also what is the meaning of u going over to you rfriend house but cant go out with me?
Also will you people celebrate every month/ year togerther with your stead?
I feel so sad.... dunno why i feel like i am being taken for granted.
From this case, obviously you can see one thing - your definition of love & relationship is very much different from hers. As a couple, being together is secondary - looking at the same direction is primary. If you expect certain improvements (the 6 months anniversary, etc) or some points from her, do communicate and TELL her instead of thinking that she will know what you want. Not everyone couple is imbued with couple's telepathy (known as Xing ling xiang tong in Mandarin), so don't assume.
You have been very compromising - to a fault. Its important to compromise in a relationship, however, do you know feelings must be exchange and be understood? Whats the use of showing someone how much you love her, but she don't even realise and appreciate? You have to tell her all these - not as in how 'great' you are treating her, but as in to let her know, you do love her and thats why you all doing all this.
When she score lower marks for her test, in any aspect it totally crazy to vent her anger on you. You feel hurt everytime she does that, don't talk to you over small mundane stuff - TELL HER. Next time before you even question her about her result - ask her if she needs the time to be alone, if yes, then let her be alone for a moment in school, with her friends, etc. Anyway, you would be there for her if she needed you - I believe you will.
The problems lies within you actually. Its not that you want her to change for your sake , etc - but rather you want her to improve and make this relationship better. Many a times when guys/girls get too compromising, this relation start to waver because they themselves are blind to their own faults.
Cheers -
OK... now I CONFIRM + GAURANTEE, Yun explains better than me.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Dear heartbreaken,
From this case, obviously you can see one thing - your definition of love & relationship is very much different from hers. As a couple, being together is secondary - looking at the same direction is primary. If you expect certain improvements (the 6 months anniversary, etc) or some points from her, do communicate and TELL her instead of thinking that she will know what you want. Not everyone couple is imbued with couple's telepathy (known as Xing ling xiang tong in Mandarin), so don't assume.
You have been very compromising - to a fault. Its important to compromise in a relationship, however, do you know feelings must be exchange and be understood? Whats the use of showing someone how much you love her, but she don't even realise and appreciate? You have to tell her all these - not as in how 'great' you are treating her, but as in to let her know, you do love her and thats why you all doing all this.
When she score lower marks for her test, in any aspect it totally crazy to vent her anger on you. You feel hurt everytime she does that, don't talk to you over small mundane stuff - TELL HER. Next time before you even answer her about her result - ask her if she needs the time to be alone, if yes, then let her be alone for a moment in school, with her friends, etc. Anyway, you would be there for her if she needed you - I believe you will.
The problems lies within you actually. Its not that you want her to change for your sake , etc - but rather you want her to improve and make this relationship better. Many a times when guys/girls get too compromising, this relation start to waver because they themselves are blind to their own faults.
Cheers -
Hiak hiakOriginally posted by loneryu00:OK... now I CONFIRM + GAURANTEE, Yun explains better than me.
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Hai! Hai! Me Ren(4) Shu(1)...Originally posted by Yunhaier:Hiak hiak
so next time I do da fast advice, U do da detailed explaination...
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u dunno your exact age??Originally posted by heartbreaken:I am a guy. Age range between 18-22. My gf is one year younger than me.
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he's 22 with delusions about being 18Originally posted by Promiscuitee:u dunno your exact age?? -
the problem is.. he cannot always be the one who's taking the initiative. he cannot go on taking initiative forever without her initiating also... one day he will juz drop and die.Originally posted by Cerebral_Assassin:language problem......the last part is......izzzit the things u do also declining, as in u have lost some of the initiative and drive when u last time had when u just started to woo her.......
the problem might lie with u and not on her part
takes two hands to clap. if she never initiate to clap yours. its really sad. -
she dun lurve u.
she only stick to u to a certain level. -
dis ans Zhi(2) Jie(1) Liao(3) Duan(4)...Originally posted by lurve:she dun lurve u.
she only stick to u to a certain level.
Direct man... -
she don't love you at all... you're just her 'stress ball'....
propose a breakup and see her reaction... -
Originally posted by heartbreaken:
]Hello to all. This is my first post. Hope some one can help me with my problems.
I am a guy. Age range between 18-22. My gf is one year younger than me.
My problem is that we are having frequent quarrels. She is very hot tempered person. Other than that she is very nice person.
I have done my best by tolerating her even to the point where i feel i get humiliated in front of strangers; as in she scold me in front of them or show me cold face in front of the strangers...so meaning the strangers all know that we are having an arguement etc.
I spend all my time with her. Buy her alot of stuff whenever i got the money. She also do likewise. Send her home everyday without fail. Sometimes starve myself because we quarrel or because i got no money to eat after spending all my money on the bus fare to send her home. My gf does not know about this "starving" issue. I
always am very concerned about her. Always remind her that i am there for her always even if she fails in somethings that she do.
But i feel she take me for granted. Always dun care about my feelings. Always whenever she angry she hurt me alot. Dun talk to me etc. I feel very heartbreaken. Our relationship turns 6 months old today.
Yesterday she received her result for a paper where she expected to score more than 90 marks. In the end she got disappointed but still got an A grade. She feel very unhappy cause she aim high always but score low. As for me, i aim low but score high. She feels that she put in alot of effort to study but then the results dun reflect her efforts. After the results, she cry and i go to her house to console her. She tell me she duwan see me etc. So after awhile i left the house very sad.
When i reach home, after some time at night she sms me saying that TODAY she going to her fren house to play games. I was thinking "today our 6th month and every month u celebrate with me. now just because of a result you want to go fren house". i then thought never mind, let her go as it might cheer her up.
Then today when she came to school she told me that she not going to her friend house. So i happy thought that she will spend the day with me. Unfortunately, after school she want to go home. I ask her if she wants to go out later in the day but she declined. I feel so hurt man. She can go play games with her friend even when she feels low.. but cant go out with me. Really feel very heartbroken.
Where did i go wrong?
brudder, your gf also quite problematic one ah..
thnik if you really love her, the take up the courage,
get her to have a serious heart to heart talk.
whenever me and my gf quarrel we also do that.
ask her why she's doing this to you,
let her know she's hurting you so much.
brudder, my heart goes out to you...
my previous gf also like your gf, anyhow scold me on the street one.
GALS: if u were my gf shoes, would u rather i leave u alone since u got disappointed with ut results?
Also what is the meaning of u going over to you rfriend house but cant go out with me?
Also will you people celebrate every month/ year togerther with your stead?
I feel so sad.... dunno why i feel like i am being taken for granted.
brudder, communication brudder.
talk to her. make her talk...
but dun be too aggresive.
take care brudder...