recently i'm having some problems with a few of my close friends. some of the things that i do are really selfish and inconsiderate to them and till recently, they confronted me and told me that i have been very selfish and inconsiderate. i admitted that i am selfish and inconsiderate at times, i did some really bad stuff to them even though i knew that its really selfish. despite me doing such things to them, they have been really nice to me. i'm feeling very guilty of what i have done and have tried to change but sometimes unknowingly i just did it again. i don't wanna lose my friends like that but i just don't know how to go about changing.. please advise me on what to do...
Since you're willing to change, you can start by letting them know. They're already aware of your problem and even confronted you about it, why not ask them to help you.
Tell your friends you are trying your best to change your attitude.
Say sorry to them and tell them to inform you is you bad to your selfish way.
Your friends will understand and will be suportive.
Originally posted by Mr.B0SS:recently i'm having some problems with a few of my close friends. some of the things that i do are really selfish and inconsiderate to them and till recently, they confronted me and told me that i have been very selfish and inconsiderate. i admitted that i am selfish and inconsiderate at times, i did some really bad stuff to them even though i knew that its really selfish. despite me doing such things to them, they have been really nice to me. i'm feeling very guilty of what i have done and have tried to change but sometimes unknowingly i just did it again. i don't wanna lose my friends like that but i just don't know how to go about changing.. please advise me on what to do...
Hi Mr B0SS,
It is good that you have taken the very first step - To identify the source of your relationship problems. However, the next step will be that much harder, and that is to act upon it.
Change does not come about overnight, thus you will have to try changing yourself bit by bit. For starters, every time you want to do something, pause for a while and think hard for about ten seconds. Ask yourself if what you are going to do will cause inconvenience to those around you or even hurt them. This may sound and seem silly, as you will be standing and doing nothing for ten seconds ( and perhaps even longer ), but if you truly wish to change for the better, you will have to start from the basic.
From here on, you can start doing small things for your friends, such as buying them presents for their birthdays, praising them when they did something well, and not the very least, aid them when they need help. Whenever you did something which is wrong though, remind yourself about it and tell yourself not to repeat it again. If you can, apologise to your friends or associates for making that mistake.
Do not pressurise yourself to be nice and perfect in an instant, for it will not happen. Instead, put in some effort and slowly build up on it, and keep a positive outlook. All the best to you.
Cheers.