Wife thinks I am a LOSER
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TS...I would suggest you and your wife to go for a good long holidays where you both can enjoy being alone.
When time is right, tell her your feeling and your unhappiness.
What you both can do about it.
Must do it in a right mood ok?
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I know of a friend who was in a similar situation as u....in the end they both got divorced because each of them have different expectation of what they want in life.....though i dun encourage this and would prefer them to work things out.....you should actually have a good talk with ur wife....ask her what she want and what is it she expects in life.....she seem to value money a lot.....if this is so, u should ask urself if that is the kind of life u want......couple usually becoz of their different expectation of life.....maybe the kind of guy ur wife want is someone with 10 properties and drive a lexus rs350....if that is not something u think u can achieve....why burden urself....perhaps it is time to move on with ur life....
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why bother getting married in the first place with a gal who is so superficial?she must have been some kinda supermodel or something!
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lee hsien loong?is that you???dont cry!!!!
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Originally posted by LiveToDie:
I am in my forties...
Started my career in the govt sector in 1991. Left it briefly in 1999. But the new company decided to screw up my job role (when I went for my 1st day, they said I was doing another job) and so decided to go back to my previous job. Having gotten my job, I had to repay their faith in me.
And so, I have been working for 20 years now. Meanwhile, my wife worked up the career ladder to a managerial post and now earns $10k per month, with bonus around $160k per year.
She quite had it with the pressures of her job and now decided to become a property agent. She has a guy friend who does part time property agent. This guy is investment savy - He has 10 properties under his name and drives a Lexus RX350.
Lately, she has been comparing him with me. Well, I earn 120 - 130k per year. Is that really bad? She said I am not aggressive enough in my career. I am in a line of work with skills are that not really needed elsewhere. I tried applying for 2 other jobs 6 months ago, but the fact is, no one wants to employ a man in his forties without any relevant skills.
When both of us started work, she was earning much lesser than me, I have no complains. I footed the bills and even paid off her 3 months notice in the early years. Now, she is implying I am not earning enough aka a loser. Tried to talk to her last night but hit a blank wall. I was talking and she decided to sleep.
What has become of a husband and wife?? Where's the simple respect for each other?
*Sigh* Just want to say it out....
wha so many replies i neber read tham all. so here's my opinionask yourself. are you living okay with your surrent job and pay. if you are not short of money for livihood why worry about her pay higher than you? meanwhile please save some money on your own account and this account with monies not touchable by your wife. from my view of your discription and if its true of your wife i know what type of wife she is. don't initiate divorce with her. try to take to her (but i see in this kinda situation like what short ninja wrote 'hiong gan liao'). go on as per your life. Get a hobby keep yourself occupied. you got children?
whatever happens after just remember to remain faithful on your part and wnything funny happen or suggested by your wife remember to bring out your marriage certificate and ask her has she abide why the vows you two taken when you two got married?
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You think, your wife thinks, you are a loser.
Your wife knows exactly what kind of a person you are.
She only wish you were .........
Don't let that get to you.
Just be yourseff.
But now on be more appreciative of her. Think well of her, speak well, and treat her well.
She is a woman.
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She things you are a LOSER? Go do something great and show her you are NOT ONE.
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bro, 120k a year is already damn fucking good pay. what you still complain for? i think both of you are living quite comfortably , why make it worse because of money which you all are not dire states?
ppl like us earning 4k /mth and i am not complaining much. there are ppl much worse than me.
i got a friends who wife is earning 10k/mth while he is earning 3k/mth but his wife is always supportive of him and ask him to do what he likes.
it is impt to get a wife who really knows you and appreciate you an support what you do.
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I am afraid you've had it.
The woman adores the other guy/s.
Move on.
Just be yourself. I have no doubt you can find someone better.
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love is meant to be unconditional...even if a man does not fare well in some areas of his life...bitches want to put in her conditions...why spoil the modern bitch or whore?
why the need to prove with more care more love or more diamonds? if a man has to resort to this, then he is a real loser...
THE MODERN MAN cares not what the world or women thinks so long he knows what he did is right, lives up to his conscience and that his mind, heart and actions become ONE...
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there is no need for any prefix or adjective before the word MAN
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i will pull her clitoris and let go from a far distance like how we play rubber band wars when we were young...
huh...Sg bitches.....
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would the govt know or study this in details when they over emphasize on women?
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Sg bitches are no more than a whorish economic entity..
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I tell you what, I would be happy if I had 3k a month, let alone 10k. Need so much $ for what? A lot of things are bullshit. A mcdonalds meal is enough to make me smile. Drinking beer or whisky at home is cheaper than going to pub. Only thing that wastes $ is cigarettes. And I like cigars. But all these are not going to cost 3k a month.
You are already so much better off than most people, I dont see how you are a loser.
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The point is this bitch is out to humiliate you.
If she cares for you, she wouldn't even mention the other guy's better performance to you, right?
The earlier you accept the reality the better for you, but make sure you do not lose out in the financial settlements.
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
Sg bitches are no more than a whorish economic entity..
Yah.. I agree. You son of a bitch.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Yah.. I agree. You son of a bitch.
this is funny.
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Wah, I would do anything to stay in a stable job for more than 10 years. Government job is very good - no retrenchment.
Don't leave your job. Yes, i know - you're not the first to complain about singapore women. Sigh, what to do? - life getting more materialistic. I got a better idea. Migrate. Migrate with family to somewhere less pressure pot and people don't go gugugaga for the love of money. Somewhere free and easy, westernise, modern.....New Zealand. Then wife won't be comparing you with some dude driving a lexus.
Why not take a break? Take the kids to the grandparents to stay and you and wife go for romantic vacation for 2 weeks?
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You are a real loser. Kukosai, etc. is all there at your service.
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In any relationship, respect is paramount. When that goes, eventually the relationship will break. It is important that both parties can respect each other enough and love each other enough that they provide some sort of support system for each other which includes each other's aspirations and dreams however big or little.
Happiness means different things to different people. It could be that sadly, both of you have grown apart.... and the complaints and slightings are just a symptom of that. Sometimes we stay in relationships for reasons other than love. The familiarity is comfortable, we are afraid to explore different options or we feel bound by past obligations. When those nice "lovey dovey" feelings fade, the person who once could do no wrong in your eyes could start seeming really irritating and press all your buttons.
It appears that both of you want different things. She seems relatively ambitious while you appear pretty content with your lot. This isnt going to work in the long run. If you can't give her what she wants, you might have to be prepared to let her go. If you give her what she wants at the expense of what you want, you won't be happy either.
I suggest you have a heart to heart talk to her and lay all your cards down on the table honestly. Tell her what you can and are prepared to do and be honest about your limitations. Explain to her that this is you, the person she married and you are unable or unprepared to do "more". Ask her if she can accept this, because a marriage is simply love and acceptance of your partner day after day. If one day you wake up and realise you both no longer have that, maybe its time to consider other options so both of you can get things that you need and want. Be honest about what you need, which is a loving and supportive wife that loves you despite your paycheck.
Take care and hope this works out for you.
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If you earn $120k to $130k a year, isn't your salary the same as your wife's?
Also, you seem to have an extremely deluded fantasy about the job market and the private sector. Since you are in the IT line, isn't your sector interchangeable whether its in the private or public sector? Computers and softwares and systems are the same everywhere, the only difference is how each company uses them for, which in Sg's smallish context is entirely scaleable and customizable. It's not as if you're working the IT systems for CSI or NASA..duh. The systems in the stat boards here is exactly the same as those in private companies..lotus and the leave application systems good god.
I know plenty of IT people in the public sector who switched to the private sector and vice versa. It is not as if you're specialising in public policy or in the foreign service, or a job function that is much more specialised to the public sector. You're in IT for gawd's sake.
I even know of several generals from the army who became managing directors of banks,..but then again those are president's scholars..so not in the same league as you and most people..
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Originally posted by Fatum:
firstly .... something doesn't compute
you said your wifey was making in 10+ a month ....and that you were making 120-130k a year .... doesn't that come up to about the same ? .... granted, it's unlikely your bonus will exceed your drawn salary in the goverment service unless you were a minister, there's still the PB. Have you been doing well enough to get those, or have you been coasting along in your job ?
And secondly, you're in IT, with the influx of an nehs and ah tiongs into IT, or any other fields for that matter, don't expect to make one twenty a year in a private sector job unless your papers' something special
He meant his annual package including bonus is $120-130k. For your info when people say their annual package is so-and-so, they have already included bonuses in. That is the whole idea of coming up with an annual package and why people ask what your annual package is. If they didn't mean to include bonuses, they would just ask you what your monthly salary is. No one is so retarded as to be unable to multiply by 12. And no one in the private sector is able to get bonuses that exceed the base salary unless the person is a trader, because traders' package is made of more bonus than base pay. It is specific to only traders since they're front office profit generators, they are paid almost like sales people. The more they trade and make for their employers, the higher the remuneration, hence this.
The only way a run of the mill private employee's bonus exceeds base pay, is if he is given more than 12 months bonus, which is unheard of. Not even management consultants or other bank employees like back office analysts.
And you're wrong about the IT sector. There are a lot of people making big bucks in the IT sector, in both public and private sectors. $120k per annum in IT is definitely achievable, by someone in their early 30s and is quite common.
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bro,can i fuck ur wife??
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Originally posted by insidestory:
If you earn $120k to $130k a year, isn't your salary the same as your wife's?
His wife doubles his.
Meanwhile, my wife worked up the career ladder to a managerial post and now earns $10k per month, with bonus around $160k per year.
$280k annual I guess