Hey everyone,
I have a problem I would like to share. I recently got to know this girl from a friend, she admitted to having a crush on me.
I want her as a friend but nothing more. She chats with me online almost every night. She told me she likes me during one of our conversations, but as politely as possible, I told her that I just want her as a friend.
She has somehow continued using words that I feel uncomfortable with. I want to make it clear that we should JUST be friends.
Any help?
Shadez,
That depends, are you a girl or a boy ?
I will presume that you are a boy. :) You are right in letting her know that you just wanna be friends. It is good that you know that relationship cannot be dived into. You need to know the person more first.
You have to be firm about where you wanna stand and I suggest that you tell her firmly that you appreciate that she fancies you, but that you are not ready for a relationship with her as yet and only treats her as a casual friend. Let her know how you feel about her using endearing terms with you. Perhaps you can let her know that if she persists, it will just repel you even more and you may even consider blocking her from your online chats.
Alot of young people fall for another easily based on looks and initial attraction. No one should go into a relationship without learning more about the other party and their likes and dislikes. Doing that results in frequent fights and relationships that does not last.
Everybody is looking for something even after you tell them not to look.My advice to you is, cut down your chat time with her cuz you are just as guilty in encouraging her to like you (I know deep inside youre enjoying every moment of this).
Originally posted by shadez:Hey everyone,
I have a problem I would like to share. I recently got to know this girl from a friend, she admitted to having a crush on me.
I want her as a friend but nothing more. She chats with me online almost every night. She told me she likes me during one of our conversations, but as politely as possible, I told her that I just want her as a friend.
She has somehow continued using words that I feel uncomfortable with. I want to make it clear that we should JUST be friends.
Any help?
There are 2 choices.
1 - Tell her that you just want to be friends. Cut down your chat time with her. The more persistent she is, the shorter your answers are. Some don't answer at all. But be nice first, if she im you, you just answer one or two then after that don't bother.
If she is a nice and understanding person, she backs down. Then this is a person worth making friends with because she is understanding and caring.
2- She becomes persistent and like fatal attraction, sticks to you like glue.
She bothers you everyday and try to taunt you. When you don't pay any attention to her, your friends or class mates start to boycott you. Some even conspire with her. She makes your life terrible by continue to provoke you to pressure you to go after her.
This is a nasty person who uses fraud to try to make you think she likes you. So, you got to go on the offensive. Go full frontal in front of her, when she speaks, start drumming your fingers on your tummy, move your toes, dance a little and even shake your head like a xiao ding ding. Humm or whistle some music to show her how happy you are to ignore her. Then she starts to see that she can't affect you. If there are any friends who try to bully you to accept her, do the same to them. But don't cut them off. Sun Tzu speaks of sleeping with the enemy. Continue to liase with them but probably dance a little in front of them and elbow them a little. Then when the coast is clear, you resume back to normal.
DUN LEAD HER ON! Still dun understand y u interested in talk to a girl so long when u not interested in her.
If u wan her to stop.Simple.Totally dun talk to her liao.Ignore her.
Don't worry. She will leave you one day. For this I am sure.
How do I know?
I was once in your shoes.
You have told her the limit.
She crosses the line, thats it. You're gone.
Otherwise the problem is not her, its you.
Let's face it dude.
You like the attention don't ya ?
You like it that you have a "horde" of girls beggin for ya, yes?
Having girls like her swooning over you, makes you feel like an idol , doesn't it ?
oh yeah.
too bad dude, ya gotta take the good with the bad.
Friends ain't friends no more, when there be no equal status among em.
Some friends can keep, some ye just gotta let go.
The very fact that you want to make it clear is revealing of u that u dont trust yourself. Without having to be blunt or explicit about what or how u feel you could reconcile to that aspect of u within u lar; and as to whether how the other(s) react or respond is their prerogative.
1) take it if ur single..after all not all guys are lucky as u to have someone throwing
themselves at u..Most to most not compatible, break up remain as friends..like that
at least its a tried but failed situation and she'll understand.
2) being a real bastard, date her, hurt her, dump her and laugh it off.
Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:1) take it if ur single..after all not all guys are lucky as u to have someone throwing
themselves at u..Most to most not compatible, break up remain as friends..like that
at least its a tried but failed situation and she'll understand.
2) being a real bastard, date her, hurt her, dump her and laugh it off.
my my.. what sick mind you have.
Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:1) take it if ur single..after all not all guys are lucky as u to have someone throwing
themselves at u..Most to most not compatible, break up remain as friends..like that
at least its a tried but failed situation and she'll understand.
2) being a real bastard, date her, hurt her, dump her and laugh it off.
You 2nd suggestion is damn bastard. Wonder any girls out there would be bloody stupid enough to be willing to go on date with you.
Originally posted by shadez:Hey everyone,
I have a problem I would like to share. I recently got to know this girl from a friend, she admitted to having a crush on me.
I want her as a friend but nothing more. She chats with me online almost every night. She told me she likes me during one of our conversations, but as politely as possible, I told her that I just want her as a friend.
She has somehow continued using words that I feel uncomfortable with. I want to make it clear that we should JUST be friends.
Any help?
If you do not fancy her, make things clear to her that you and her just wanna be friends & that's all. But I would advice you not to drag & drag it further as if it is too late, either one party might get hurt when her feelnigs for you gets deeper.
Crap...come to think of it, i really sounded so bad..i'm sorry if i've offended anyone..just thinking of giving some suggestions...well i believe everyone have both good and bad ideas but ultimately its what u choose to do that matters what kind of person u are...that may be what i suggested, but that may not be what i will do ;p
Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:Crap...come to think of it, i really sounded so bad..i'm sorry if i've offended anyone..just thinking of giving some suggestions...well i believe everyone have both good and bad ideas but ultimately its what u choose to do that matters what kind of person u are...that may be what i suggested, but that may not be what i will do ;p
Da Dood I totaly understand you 100% when I was young like you I must have broken all the rules of love from A-Z in a relationship. I am not proud of it and sorry is too late now but.....to know good is to do bad first.Without the bad the good cant possibly exist.
Originally posted by shadez:Hey everyone,
I have a problem I would like to share. I recently got to know this girl from a friend, she admitted to having a crush on me.
I want her as a friend but nothing more. She chats with me online almost every night. She told me she likes me during one of our conversations, but as politely as possible, I told her that I just want her as a friend.
She has somehow continued using words that I feel uncomfortable with. I want to make it clear that we should JUST be friends.
Any help?
Tell her a white lie.
Say that you are attached.