I got crushes on the wrong pple
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Everytime i got a crush (3 so far), they seem to be girls whoa re older than me... they are all coincidentally born in jan while i'm in aug.
The girls also have a stead oredi. recently, i had a crush on one of them and within weeks...she got steady wif another guy... i knoe she does not harbors any love feelings towards me ... but i'm really desprately for her and long for her... i feel miserable and hope one day they will break up... so that i may pursue her without been blamed for their break up.. I'm jealous also...but I am also upset coz of my looks and size...then when i compare it to her stead... i feel so pathetic...
plz, can someone advise this loser in life? -
hey sdl, I think that it's rather selfoish of u to be wishing them to break up. Ok, it's a natural for some one to feel this way.. but it's just not rite. Sometimes when u really love someone , u shld be happy becoz u see the happiness in the the person that u love. maybe that's u say that it's a crush that's y.
But being born in the same yr, it's alright. It's only a few mths difference. In fact my gf is older than me by a couple of mths too.. I mean if a few mths matters so much to u, then wat will happen to pple who are born in Dec and Nov?? Even worst guys who are born in late Dec. I dun think it's the end of the story for them.
Anyway girls dun go for physical characteristic that much. They do choose, maturity and character. U can be good looking and be rich, and haf a line of gers who wants to take ur sports car for a ride. But hey, they will grow out of it. Becoz, there' still something in u that is missing.. To them having a great body or looks or $$$ will become superficial when they grow up. Even to guys too. We do look at girls with good looks, but our gf and wives may not be that great, becoz we will learn to appreciate the peron of their character, rather than the physique part. Developed ur character, and learn to think maturity. TO care for her by one corner. To wish her happiness. That's maturity.. Not wishing that they will break up soon. Apologise if u feel that I haf hurt ur feelings.
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
as usual, the straight forward, but ever caring bear. =)
sdl:
actually, again, i agree with bear. (he seems to be making a lotta sense) hee~ coz c-riously, when u love someone, thou it's hard to let her go, u will still find urself wishing her happiness always. u'll find urself wanting her to be happy, and as long as she's happy, u will be happy. that shud be sorta how it feels to be in love with someone lo.......at least, that's how i look at it. anyway, i may not be older than u, or even ur same age, but i have had my fair share of crushes, and i believe, i will still have a few more crushes till i really meet my one true love. till then, crushes are crushes. somehow, when u have a crush on someone, u sorta wanta "possess" her, u feel jealous whenever she walks with someone else, or talk to someone else. u just sorta feel she belongs to u and u alone, but remember, she is not yet ur girlfriend, and she is definitely not urs........mebbe u dun feel/think this way, but wat i'm trying to put across to u, is that it's natural for u to feel this way, in a sense lo, coz u are only having a crush, and u r most prolly not in love........
opps.....sorry for being so straightforward......=) hee~ oh, and oso for being so crappy.... -
oh by the way, just some thing else to add....
sdl: u are not a loser, and stop calling urself one. u are wat u think u are. remember that.... so if u think u're a loser, then u are. okiez. 2nd thing would be that there is no such thing as the right girl or the wrong girl. i mean, as defined in ur context la. coz u are just having a crush, and a few months doesn't really matter. c-riously.......there's no wrong ger to like and no right ger to like. u can like any ger, but of coz, there is and will be da one, who would be da right ger for u. =)
lastly, dun give up hope la. it's not the end of the world yet ma.....=) think POSITIVE! -
"You are wat u think u are"
I knew this saying when i was at my leadership camp...but i found it hard to believe in it...
Thanks for the advice though... I have managed now to live normally... but 'seizures' do occur sometimes when i see them togehter..but most of time now.. i feel better...
I wrote in the forum so as to feel better...
Thanks for replying!
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sdl: good to hear that u r feeling better... Well, it's alright to haf occasional seizures, becoz it means u treasure that person.. but still my advise is to wish her happiness.
t|red: Well, actually I learn something from u too... the thing abt crushes... It shows that I'm still got lots to learn.. and thanz for covering some areas which I left out..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
sdl: continue to believe in that phrase. =) no harm done in believing wat. hee~ =) well, really glad to know u're fine now, but cheer up. mebbe u r not sad, but just wanta tell u, *Sm|LeZ aLw|Z* =o)
bear: hee~ my pleasure! eh, guess coz i'm younger, much younger than u? tt's y i still remember how crushes work? hahaha =) no la. actually, me thinks u can try this other way, put urself in sdl's shoes. understand what he's going thru' and feeling. it works. =) then u'll also get to know sorta why in ur own way lo. if u were him, wat would u have done, and BINGO! yeah! oh dear...now i've become aunt agony!!! u ah......all ur fault! =Þ *bleah* -
Yes... i wished her happiness when i found out she had gotta a stead...however i doubt it came from the heart...still i wished her happiness...
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Hmm.. think I din really ponder in it really carfully covering from all sides and angles... I'll bear that in mind.. told u that I still got things to learn for u guys.
Aunt Agony?? Good wat!!! that's wat this forum really needs... if not it wun be called Aunt Agony liaoz.. hee hee...
:þleah u back...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
sdl: =) hmmzzz....at least u bothered to ask urself whether u were being sincere or not. anywayz, dun worriez la, in time to come, there will certainly be more gers who will be attracted to u. =) wo men hai nian qing!!! yeah! hee~ (ps: u understand chinese hor. =))
bear: haha =) bi ci bi ci la. aiyyyeeee no thank u!! me no wanna be aunt agony man! yuck! =Þ *bleah* me too young to be called aunt la. anyway, we oredi have one uncle bear here ma, so no need aunt agony la. hahaha =) -
understand how u feel when u told urself to wish her happiness.. It's like those being forced till u r speechless kind of feeling (puo bu de yi). But it's good to tell urself that u shld be wishing her happiness, becoz it's a good step to improve ur character. To some pple, they can never even utter these words under their breath.
Think I will even cry if that ger has been my gf before that. Not in front of her, but behind her back... Will still wish her all the best in my heart, but I doubt that I can control the tears streaming from my eyes. Had this sort of feeling before.. my ex just walked away from me even though how hard I tried to save it. Even gave her my last $2/- for the mth, when she told me that she's broke and is seeing this other guy who is really rich. Said this in my final words to her, "I'll wait for u, if things doesn't work out." That was then.... Sorry for this part that is totally unrelated to the help that I'm suppose to gif to u sdl. Think it will only make u feel worse... sorry...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Hmm... I nearly cried though...
There seems to be soemthing abt the 3 crushes so far... all of them are athletics except one... my affection for athletics seem to have contributed my liking for the,..plus their character...i dare to say that i like them not for ur physical appearance as they are not very gd looking also...but i think this is disgusting but i just say anyway..that i have a fetish for legs..!!! yeeks! I started liking legs since this years espcially those strong, musuclar lean legs...
The least girl i liked..which was the wun that got a stead...has that kinda of legs...
hahaa..i dont think this had got to do with the original topic..but i just wrote anyway..
heheeee -
sdl: not to worry, it's a growing phase of one's life. I think u r a sch student rite??
When we are young we always look at things on the physical side. Be it any parts of the body from head to toe. Some gers look for guys for their broad shoulders, some look for guys who haf stomach muscles. Some guys look for gers wif big boobs, some guys look for gers wif shapely body. I'm very sure u haf heard pple toking things like such in ur sch or even among ur frens as well rite? But all these are fantasies. As time goes by, u grow out of it.
And one thing to comment, though it's very selfish or rude for me to say this. Dun go for that ger if she breaks up wif her bf. Becoz ur reason to be wif her is totally wrong. If later in life u learn to love her for the real her, I will definitely gif u my support, but not in this case.. I'm sorry that I haf to put it across this way...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Yes...i'm a secondary 3 student...
But i dont totally agree wif u that i shouldn't go after her after she breaks up..
I believe my feelings for her is not superficial...Yes..i like her legs... but i like her character even more..her cheerfulness and open attitude attracts me down inside...being with her...i dont think anyone can go bored...
Well...thats what i think...maybe time will tell in the future... -
Hmm.. okie... sorry for jumping to comclusion...
Well.. try to get to know some other girls. Juz be frens.. no harm done... Coz now u'r still young. Best age to widen ur circle of frens... It's always good to haf more frens...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
sdl: hahaha!!! *evil luff* u're younger than me!!!1 *h|AkZ* hee~ =) just being siaoz. eh..............next yr O'levels ah, dun pray pray okiez. hee~ =) wat i meant was to not let such things affect ur mood for studying. settle everything, settle ur feelings. make a commitment. do this in good time, and prepare well for ur O'levels. 3/4 of a yr is not a very long time to waste on relationships. i mean not exactly waste la, but for me, i've wasted half a yr trying to sort out my jumbled up feelings bout some guy, trying to make amendments and stuff, but i didn't manage to get it done in time. left little time for me to study well for prelims.......coz when u are emotionally involved, regardless of whether u r in or out of a relationship, there will be a certain stress and strain on ur emotions, and u won't be able to concentrate on ur work lo. trust me, i noe. thou u may say that u'l be able to do it, but dun try.......the price to pay is far too high....=)
well, just told ya this whole piece of crap, coz me dun wan u making the same mistake as i did. =)) anyway, like bear said, u're still young la, too young to really decide that u wanna dedicate the "rest of ur life" to some one lo. =)))) hee~ okok, mebbe u dun, i dunno!!! *surrenders* -
Yupz.... It's kind of hard to juggle relationship, school work, family matters, and your ownself together at one go. Especially when shcool work is going to give you a lot of stress next year...
I, too had my problems during my sec 4 dayz. Not really problems, but I played too much... Never really bothered about my work till, I saw my mid-year results, which gave me a fright. Can't believe myself, that I'm such failure... haa haa...
So better not be naughty and too playful.. if not you will end up like me... Get extra stress, and panic.... haa haa..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
bear:
panic? hmmzzz. =) tt sounds sooooo positively familiar to me...
haizzz.....(crap la) u noe ah, i actually managed to fail my maths end of sec 2. den start of sec 3, dunno wat happened, i sudddenly shot up to A*. =) hahaha ya, it was an A star! as in tests usu get over 16/20 one lo. so the jump was like a C6 to an A1, well, this enabled me to get a GPA (good progress award la) how proud i felt. den suddenly, start of this year, i found that i'd slackened. my friends were all improving. all getting A1s oredi, and here i am, getting A2s n B3s.. i was wondering wat's happening to me!!! and well, i panicked. not very nice to feel urself back sliding u noe......tried to buck up, but just found that my mechanisms like suddenly stopped functioning.......but well, just glad that i got them back now. just in time. =)) anyway, the in slack were due to certain reasons la. pretty dumb distractions lo. =)))
so advice to SDL: dun get distracted. concentrate and excel! -
Good Progress award?? Bluff pple are poor in ur maths, then after that gif them a fan bai wei sheng....
Know of a person, who scored E8 for C.lit, then when the Prelims ocme got an A2. Fake pple one... Actually u all quite smart lahz... coz u all will haf extra consolations. Me also not so smart to think of such things.. always mugging and mugging.. Always thinking how to improve my scores.. never tot of let pple giving pple a surprise... and that means there goes my GPA.. haa haa....
sdl: dun becoz of gers ruin ur studies.. got good education, gers will come to u instead of u going to them.. better rite?? not only u get to choose pple, even when u want to go to the gers, u will be in a better position to win their hearts over as well.. hee hee...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Why are we toking about maths and lit?
so boring..wat about discussing about ur fetishes if u have one?
hahaha! -
sdl: hahaha =) paiseh paiseh *raises her hand* i started it. hee~ okok, we change topic. *sumimasen* <- accompanied by a jap bow......hahaha
fetish??!! wat fetish??!!aiya, sdl, u start the ball rolling la. u dun start, i oso paiseh to say ma.....hahaha =) (like real) hee~
bear: wat fake la!!! i oso dunno wat happened la. not i fake one. i actually oso dunno my sec 2 maths so damn lan wan. it's just when i did my first test in sec 3, and got 20/20, the teacher went around and started spreading the news like siaoz!! really. coz i was the only one who got full marks, and it was amazing that i improved so much lo. dunno how oso la, but it was just a revision paper lo. anyway, i have tuition la, so u can't really say it's my brians lo. actually, i'm quite stupid one la. lazy tooz. at least u'll mug, i dun even bother till last minute!!!! hee~
[This message has been edited by t|rEd (edited 15 October 2000).] -
fetish?? me also dunno wat to say... Just see gers as they are lorz.. chio then chio. Not chio then not chio... Not bother by it also.... Hee hee.... Actually is becoz I dun haf priority when I look for a gf... Only she love me and I love her... nothing more..
Me also last one mth before then start to mug, And my results not as good as urz... Shows that u smarter.. haa haa... before that playing, and not bothered...
Sorry sdl... me tok about sch again.. haa ha.a..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Erm..i think u guys have a fetish on SCHOOLS...wahhahaaa...
haiz~
sianz....I basically got a fetish on legs lor...thats all -
How u knnow huhz?? I kind of missed sch.. get to go back early. no responsibilities... after sch.. still can go out and play for a while, catch a movie at lower cost, and more seating positions to choose from.Originally posted by sdl:Erm..i think u guys have a fetish on SCHOOLS...wahhahaaa...
haiz~
sianz....I basically got a fetish on legs lor...thats all
Hiaz now??? sob sob 8~( dun tok abt it.. sob sob...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
What is all this talk about maturity.?! When u love someone that much and in the end she leaves you... u mean we must stay at one corner and wish her happiness? Come on...I'm speaking from my own personal experience!!