i haven break up wif him! u think i am stoopid
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hmm...thanks for all ur msg but i juz can't break up with him....for some reason...hmm...dunno i really need somemore advices!!! maybe it is becoz we are of the different race so we can't really communicate!
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Hmm.. different race and still can start a relationhsip on bad communication basis... I'm not saying that u can't haf one of a different race, but when communication is bad. It's hard to even express urself properly... anyway that's not the point.
Maybe u can explain to him ur personal concept of a relationship. once he haf a better idea of how u think, it could have change his behaviour if he really wants to be wif u. I'm also not saying that he muz give in all the way.. but maybe both of u can give in to a certain extent. That's wat love is all about. To gif in to each other, and to understand each other.
If he cannot accept ur more conservative way of thinking, and argues that u shld think like him , and be more open. I think it's about time that u shld consider if it's love from his side that is maintaining the relationship. In a relationship, I think neither shld gif each other too much pressure, becoz abt to tolerate and give in to each other is showing love to each other. I mean be fair to each other. U gif, he gifs. u gif more, than he shld gifs more. Furthermore he's a guy, theink he can afford more, if u r the princess in his eyes..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
So, u and him are of different races and can't communicate effectively. Is this really the case or r u deceiving yourself, juz because he's gd in cheering u up and is appealing to u, that's the reason u can't bring your heart to break up with him, huh. Mayb the best way now is to have a heart-to-heart talk with him and let him understand what u r thinking and watch out for his response. If he really understands and loves u, he'll definitely agree to a "cooling down" session for both of u. Mayb both of u r still not sure of what u all want, but if he had no respond at all, then u will b sure that it's absolutely rite to break up with him, agreed?Originally posted by yuppiez:hmm...thanks for all ur msg but i juz can't break up with him....for some reason...hmm...dunno i really need somemore advices!!! maybe it is becoz we are of the different race so we can't really communicate!
Anyway, for the affairs of the heart, I can only give u advices but the final decision actually lies in u.
can icq me at 62617763 if u really needs a frd or person to talk to, ok...
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
FOrgot to add... U r not stoopid... Pple will say that u r, but when u r in it, it's different... U r a human, u haf feelings. Especially when the other guy is ur bf. U r involved in the whole thing, and tends to leave some feelings for him too.. I would be too, if I'm in ur position. anyway if u dun spare any feelings for him, then it will mean that u dun love him at all , and this problem will not haf appeared. Dun worry we understand ur feelings and the kind of situation u r in.
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
yuppiez:
i agree with bear. dun call urself stupid, coz u're definitely not. at least u are asking for advice. i'm sure u know that the final decision still lies with u no matter what, and c-riously, i really think that albeit the advices we may give here, the decision shud be urs and his alone. i may not know what has happened between the two of u, but coz this concerns the future of the both of u, i suggest that u think clearly.....have a heart to mind tok with urself. ask urself wat u really want....make a final decision, stand firm. stick to the decision, make it a decision u noe u'll never regret in the future.....=) God bless u, and wish u luck. -
hmm...tahnks to all for your advice...i break and patch back with him again....although i think i dun have any feeling for him anymore but i dun want to hurt anyone of us.....juz let nature take its course.....thanks again.....happie to know u all and i am proud of being ur ......'forum' friend!
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break and patch again?? But dun like him?? Y sudden the patch??
Hmm.. I think I understand wat u mean... When both of u break, u felt something amiss. U felt very lonely. U feel very insecure. That's y u patched back?? If that's the case, I personally dun support it's very dangerous and insecure relationship. It's built on unstable grounds, becoz of the wrong reason to start a relationship...
Well.. but still miracles do happen, and I hope that he will change and treat u better, so that both of u can be together till that 'day' comes by.... Wishing both of u all the best...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
gai shuo de dou shuo wan le. guess all i can say now, is =) wish u luck!!!
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yuppiez: Wish u luck too.. But dun worry... We will always be ard to lend a helping hand, if he bullies u, I call my men to go down and add some colour to his face.. haa haa..
t|red: haa haa, din know we haf share the same kind of feelings againz.. haa haa...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
bear: how ur men gonna colour his face??? *wonders* ur men take up make-up course ah??? interesting. wonder if they do great make-ups. if so ah, ask them make up for me la. =) *requests eagerly*
yuppiez: eh, u need my gals to make up for him oso??? but y he need make up huh?
*brur*
*scratches her head in bewilderment*
he's a HE rite? or she??!!! *shocked*
(ps: hee~ no offence la, just acting dumb) -
t|red: if u want I can call my men to come and do some make-up for u.. Free eye shadow... Free red 'powder' on the face. haa haa... want or not??? haa haa... ALL FREE ONE!!! U can ask ur gals to add some red eyeliner, but remember to tell them to sharpen their figernails first.. hee hee...
We must do a good job for yuppiez...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Sadly, but honestly, I share the same sentiments as u... Though it's going to hurt both of u, but if u hang on to something that u haf no feelings, it's better that u let go. U are denying urself of chances. Pple who know that u haf a bf will not want to approach u. It's just getting used to the kind of life. It's going to be hard at first. but it's not impossible.Originally posted by Ruth|E:erm.... since u dun have feeling for him, why not just leave him? or u just wan someone by yr side tts all? hmm... u must learn to by independent... everything will not be the same as it always used to be...
When i broke up wif my ex... the next morning... i knew tt i wont be going out wif him, i wont be talking to him, no one will be sayanging me anymore... i cried... i really broke down, i got a hard time... i can't forget everything... esp when i loved him most, and when he hurts me most as well... although its hard and hurts a lot... but this is a stage tt we must learn to live alone...
[This message has been edited by Ruth|E (edited 16 October 2000).]
Yuppiez... suits u.. if u r happier as the way u r... We still give u all our blessings.
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
yuppiez: not trying to put u down really, and bear, me not trying to contradict u or myself la. but after reading ruthie's post, and ur post, i think, u shud put urself in his shoez lo. try to feel wat he feels. and if he ever finds out that u were just "stringing" (not in a bad way la) him along, i think most prolly he'd be very very disappointed and heartbroken, esp if he had put his everything into the r/s
ruthie: u noe, ur post brought back my own memories...haizzz....me oso had quite a hard ime trying to make myself get on with my life, and stop ruining it. but well, i still managed. thou' now, whenever i think of the good times and memories i had with him, it still hurts, but not so much oredi lo. coz like they say, time heals....... -
Only part of the chorus
Time - Tommy Page
You told me time will always heal the pain
Bring the sun, dry the rain
When we turn to solve and think our problems through
You told me time is always on my side
To turn the season, change the tide
The rest cannot post b4 pple get upset...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
thanks again....actually i am veri touch lorzx....really thank u....hmm...recently i have found someone....whom loves mi alot and is willingly to wait for mi to break up with my current bf do u think i should accept him??? but i think i got some feeling for mu current stead as wellas the one wooing mi now????
anyway thanks to MIKE,BEAR,TIRED! and .....
thank you guys!!! always remember you!!! -
dearest yuppiez ah.....eh, pardon me if i'm a little harsh here, but i hope u dun depend on us too much lo. u know urself best. we can only provide u with certain amount of advices, but we cannot give u the decision. it is urs to make, not ours. =)Originally posted by yuppiez:thanks again....actually i am veri touch lorzx....really thank u....hmm...recently i have found someone....whom loves mi alot and is willingly to wait for mi to break up with my current bf do u think i should accept him??? but i think i got some feeling for mu current stead as wellas the one wooing mi now????
anyway thanks to MIKE,BEAR,TIRED! and .....
thank you guys!!! always remember you!!!
ok, now, as to ur question......erm.......(toopid/lazy bear. tot u bery free one, how come neber answer yuppiez qn?!!!) hee~ *sheepish gW|nZ* anywayz, eh......ah.....er.....*scratches her head* i think one question u could ask urself is, do u really like this other guy? or issit just because he's very very nice to u, and he has TOUCHED ur heart. which means, u dun necessary like him in that sense lo. get my drift? hope u did.
ok, no let's get down to basics....er, gonna be some rather personal questions. no needa answer me, but just ask urself and force urself ot answer lo. "zi4 wo3 jiao1 dai4"
1) wat is ur main purpose/motive of getting involved in a relationship
2) who do u really love.....
3) issit really love?
i think if u have answered the above questions, mebbe it's time to make a decision. but first, try to put urself in ur present bf's shoes. =) look at things in his perspective. just look at this from different perspectives lo. mebbe even thru' the 2nd guys eyes. c how he looks at it.
oya, it won't be a very very easy decision, but just a bit of warning. mebbe not warning la, a small reminder. u may tend to try to COMPARE the qualities of the two guys. not that i'm saying u shudn't, but issit fair for u to do so? afterall they are two completely different individuals. =))
lastly, good luck and best wishes. =) glad to be remembered. and hope i have been of help, thou' i dun c how. =)) hahaha
bear:
u habn't given her ur piece of blessing!!! hahaha =) -
Aiyo.. tio complain liaoz.. Haf to buck up.. if not my reputation gonna go down the drain liaoz.
hmm... First thing first.. I got to say, 'welcome' It's our pleasure to assist u... *bows*
Okie back to the main thing... I also think that it's becoz the other guy did sth that made u touched... that's y u r saying that like this guy.. Maybe he has done u a favour that's y u like him. Or maybe becoz u are in the midst of ur confusion and he appears and thus u felt something for him. It always happens.. We, humans, tend to grap hold of some other thing when we feel that we are not safe. And we always mistake it for another safety precaution, but chances is that it's also another loose rock...
As for ur bf, I think it's becoz u can't let go of it that's y u r saying that u haf feelings for him too. It's common, especially for pple who just got themselves involve in this r/s thing for he first time.
U haf to ask urself who u really love??? Or even u can say that u dun love anyone in the end I will still think it's perfectly fine... Choosing the rite person, involves the heart and the mind. The heart to tell u who u really love. the mind to tell u shld u love him. Becoz ur heart can only sense feelings which is the most impt in a r/s, of coz. Ur mind will play the role of telling u if u r really in love and not in infatuation of someone's gratitude.
Okie.. now for my honest, but rather harsh words... I would say u will be better off w/o ur first bf... But as for ur 2nd guy, I will only say, it's better that u know him well enuff first, I'm sure u dun want things to happen like wat's ur first rite?? Moreover, give urself time to get over the temporary depression first. And the time that u r using to get over, u can also find out more abt this new guy. to understand him better better before really going into a r/s. I'm sure u r looking for a lasting one rite?? And finally, can test if his words are true or not. He said he is going to wait for u, but if u r not going to test him out, how would u know that he is just saying for the sake of holding ur hands. No harm done.... A lot of guys will say that especially when they are in sec sch.. Still immature of wat is love.. and also it's just to get the ger they like.. that's my only warning...
t|red: let u do some work mahz if not u say I take everything and dun let u haf a chance to perform..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear