avoidance issues
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how do i help someone with avoidance issues ?
he suffers from these symptoms :-
- runs away from situations which may invoke intense emotions in him
- non-confrontation. he rather avoid and run away than to confront and possibly engage in an argument
- if it is an issue which he doesn't know how to solve or has tried many times unsuccessfully to solve it, he gives up and stops trying to explain himself. he "lets go" and just lets it be, leaving the mess as it is
- he has a strong pride
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Somehow i find your post hard to understand. However, avoiding is not gonna solve the problem. Aka sweeping your rubbish under the carpet, finally one day when you lift up your carpet. BOOM !!
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sounds cliched.. but this requires a long time and a lot of communication...
make an appointment to talk to him.. find a place which privacy is ensured, there are no distractions, and he cannot run away without good reason... turn off all mobiles and whatever.. sit and talk...
do not be judgmental.. listen.. prompt.. ask open ended questions to encourage more communication... do not raise your voice..
you have to make your own preparations too.. have a list of your concerns.. do not be emotional.. be as objective as possible..
most of all, be patient... one session usually doesn't even come close to opening up and his revealing his hang-ups and issues... it may take many sessions.. so hang in there...
good luck
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Originally posted by carpen:
how do i help someone with avoidance issues ?
he suffers from these symptoms :-
- runs away from situations which may invoke intense emotions in him
- non-confrontation. he rather avoid and run away than to confront and possibly engage in an argument
- if it is an issue which he doesn't know how to solve or has tried many times unsuccessfully to solve it, he gives up and stops trying to explain himself. he "lets go" and just lets it be, leaving the mess as it is
- he has a strong pride
Sounds like you are talking about me. Tell you what there is no hope. No hope. Dont bother.
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Autism.
Its just another human characteristics, like being outgoing or the opposite. Not some thing that can be considered as wrong or an abnormality.
Lokey is right, there is no cure, but can be managed with guidance and training.
Its like how do you "cure" a shy person.
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Originally posted by carpen:
how do i help someone with avoidance issues ?
he suffers from these symptoms :-
- runs away from situations which may invoke intense emotions in him
- non-confrontation. he rather avoid and run away than to confront and possibly engage in an argument
- if it is an issue which he doesn't know how to solve or has tried many times unsuccessfully to solve it, he gives up and stops trying to explain himself. he "lets go" and just lets it be, leaving the mess as it is
- he has a strong pride
So what do you want him to be like?
If this is his personality, unless you are very close to him, it is unlikely that you will be able to change him.
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Originally posted by carpen:
how do i help someone with avoidance issues ?
he suffers from these symptoms :-
- runs away from situations which may invoke intense emotions in him
- non-confrontation. he rather avoid and run away than to confront and possibly engage in an argument
- if it is an issue which he doesn't know how to solve or has tried many times unsuccessfully to solve it, he gives up and stops trying to explain himself. he "lets go" and just lets it be, leaving the mess as it is
- he has a strong pride
Confront what ? Is the issue/problem yours or his ?
If he doesn't has the answer to resolve the problem.. what you want him to do ? Pull the answer out of your arse ?
He's not God you know. I think the person with the problem is not him.. but you.
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holey shit.
Damn. That sound's actually like me. Goody .. now we 're not alone.
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0_o
He runs away from conflict but has a strong pride?!?!
I tot most people who run away from problems are spineless...
How about you insult him until he fights back...just make sure you dun end up in hospital...
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
0_o
He runs away from conflict but has a strong pride?!?!
I tot most people who run away from problems are spineless...
How about you insult him until he fights back...just make sure you dun end up in hospital...
Sometimes not solving the problem is a solution itself.
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So little information..... Anyway listen to the bear.