She doesn't trust guys anymore .. ?
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Hi guys , I've been trying to woo this girl for about 6 months now but she doesn't wants to get in a relationship because of her failed relationships in the past . She said that she had already lost trust in guys and relationships .
We've been quite open about it , and I told her that I'll be with her all the way through .
I was thinking if any of you can propose methods or ways so that she can regain back this trust ?
From what I know , she was hurt very badly in her past relationships .
Is there a phobia of getting into relationships ?
Personally , I can get along with her very very well ... but she isn't sort of my girlfriend yet (Not official)
Can I have your advices please
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Originally posted by Typically:
Hi guys , I've been trying to woo this girl for about 6 months now but she doesn't wants to get in a relationship because of her failed relationships in the past . She said that she had already lost trust in guys and relationships .
We've been quite open about it , and I told her that I'll be with her all the way through .
I was thinking if any of you can propose methods or ways so that she can regain back this trust ?
From what I know , she was hurt very badly in her past relationships .
Is there a phobia of getting into relationships ?
Personally , I can get along with her very very well ... we've been doing alot of things that couples would do but she isn't officially my "girlfriend" .
Can I have your advices please :D
O.o What couple things did u do with her ?
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kiss already still not gf?? wah open leh..
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She ming ming hold hand, why dint she get pregnant ?
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Originally posted by Typically:
Hi guys , I've been trying to woo this girl for about 6 months now but she doesn't wants to get in a relationship because of her failed relationships in the past . She said that she had already lost trust in guys and relationships .
We've been quite open about it , and I told her that I'll be with her all the way through .
I was thinking if any of you can propose methods or ways so that she can regain back this trust ?
From what I know , she was hurt very badly in her past relationships .
Is there a phobia of getting into relationships ?
Personally , I can get along with her very very well ... we've been doing alot of things that couples would do(kiss , etc ) but she isn't sort of my girlfriend yet (Not official)
Can I have your advices please
Sounds like my gf except that my gf accepted me as bf 1 week after her last bad relationship.
Advice from me n alot of forumers here, which i have turned deaf ears, you are in for a hell of a time.
I went through hell and alot of roller coaster rides. So good luck to you too...
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
Sounds like my gf except that my gf accepted me as bf 1 week after her last bad relationship.
Advice from me n alot of forumers here, which i have turned deaf ears, you are in for a hell of a time.
I went through hell and alot of roller coaster rides. So good luck to you too...
erm roller coaster rides ? ..
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"We've been quite open about it , and I told her that I'll be with her all the way through "
I think the first guy also said something like this to her.
This is a tall order, easier said than done.
Especially by young people.
The circumstances during the phase of teens to twenty something is very different from the phase of thirty to fourty something.
Ask Jack Neo.
Her fears are not unfounded, and you should not be applying any special techniques. Just be sure and honest with yourself and her.
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Originally posted by Typically:
erm roller coaster rides ? ..
meaning 1 moment she love you till the end of time, the next moment can ask you to go F yourself and get the hell out of her face... -
I've been trying to be very transparent(honest) with her . I try to make sure that I don't keep anything from her . She knows all about my problems and how I feel towards other matters .
I'm trying to slowly , build up a foundation of trust with her . Doing this because I want her to feel more secure .
Ultimately , I feel that it's really up to her to come out of her problems .
Are problems like these considered as psychological trauma ... ?
Because her previous relationship was almost 3 years ago . Yet till now , she still doesn't trust guys .
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You how old aiyo. Couple things.... those things trapped your mind is it. U love her or just want sexual relationship with her ?
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give up...6 months?
Do u believe in fate? If you are the right one, you don't need 6 months...love is something that can't be forced upon
probably u could concetrate on studying
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Originally posted by dangerboi:
give me...6 months?
Do u believe in fate? If you are the right one, you don't need 6 months...love is something that can't be forced upon
Well , I can say that we would be together if not for her problems . -
Originally posted by Typically:
Well , I can say that we would be together if not for her problems .You are a guy leh, why get so troubled. Treat her well as per usual lah, when she give u the cold shoulder dont care loh, if she loves u, she will be with u, she dont love u jiu wont. Can tahan bo ?
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"If' is a word that shouldn't be used too often....
you should use now...
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Originally posted by Typically:
Well , I can say that we would be together if not for her problems .
thats what i think so too... but till now i still cant get her out of her fears...Up to you cos I am not willing to give up, so I have to suffer in silence hoping she will come out of it one day... and its very very very painful... all the nonsense from her... haiz...
Maybe one day when I am tired, i will also give up...
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Originally posted by TTFU:
You are a guy leh, why get so troubled. Treat her well as per usual lah, when she give u the cold shoulder dont care loh, if she loves u, she will be with u, she dont love u jiu wont. Can tahan bo ?
LOLx... same advise that you have given me... -
I suppose it's natural for anybody who really loves some one to feel like that .
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Tian ya he chu wu fang chao, he bi dan lian yi duo hua
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
thats what i think so too... but till now i still cant get her out of her fears...Up to you cos I am not willing to give up, so I have to suffer in silence hoping she will come out of it one day... and its very very very painful... all the nonsense from her... haiz...
Maybe one day when I am tired, i will also give up...
Same sentiments .....It can get really frustrating at times ..
But I keep telling myself it's worth it ... Because I believe that one day she'll come out of her fears and it'll reciprocate .
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Then doesnt pay off how ? kill yourself ? can tahan bo
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Anyway refer to Gf problem thread.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
Then doesnt pay off how ? kill yourself ? can tahan bo
no lah... siao... if she dun treasure you, its her loss.Good guy came along, dun mind going through hell with her and at the same time, care for her, love her. Its her loss for losing such good guy.
Since she dun treasure you, go find other gals that do treasure you lo.
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Actually , there are a few girls that wanted to get involved in a relationship with me ... But , I turned all of them down just for her .
But then again , I only want to be with her ... nobody else .
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TS,
If you have something to share, something to offer of yourself without expecting returns - you might be able to have your way. However, from what has been transpiring and what you have posted here - you want to own her. If u love, simply love, unless your love is not love but something else parading and masquerading as love. Look into yourself with a modicum of SELF-HONESTY you would know ..
Also, u state that u had turned others down - as it occurred to u that u are comparing? and sadly it is being neurotic and sooner or later (assuming it pans out in your favour) you would expect her to 'toe your line'' and with her current state of heart - it would sooner or later crash.
She has to deal with her ''demons'' and you have to deal with yours - till then it would be better to remain friendly and allow the other to be. When there are reasons and there are fears - love never abides, at the most it pretends to be.
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Originally posted by Typically:
Hi guys , I've been trying to woo this girl for about 6 months now but she doesn't wants to get in a relationship because of her failed relationships in the past . She said that she had already lost trust in guys and relationships .
We've been quite open about it , and I told her that I'll be with her all the way through .
I was thinking if any of you can propose methods or ways so that she can regain back this trust ?
From what I know , she was hurt very badly in her past relationships .
Is there a phobia of getting into relationships ?
Personally , I can get along with her very very well ... but she isn't sort of my girlfriend yet (Not official)
Can I have your advices please
When she's ready to trust, she will trust.
Proposing methods and ways ain't gonna work, especially with em coming from you.
You want to MAKE her trust you, you want to MAKE her love you.
All the more, you ain't trust worthy.
What you have promised her and expected from her.. are exactly what others before you had promised and done as well. Do you think she will believe the same "promise" twice ? You take her as a fool don't ya ?
My advise to you is to leave her be and let time heals her wounded heart.
If she is truly worth your waiting, then wait and stop pressing.
The question is .. DO YOU TRUST HER ?
If ya don't, then why should she trust you?