pLz kIndly hElP mE wIf tIs ...
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Currently i'm facing a lot of problems in my r/s..me n my bf haf been together for bout 1yr 8 mths oredi..In the past , sometimes i hurt him a lot like i for nothing will get angry (eX.1 when he tok n laughs wif his frens which consist of a majority of guys n a minority of gals , i will juz get jealous although to ur may sound silly lo , i reli cant help it. eX.2 when i tok to guys , he will feel beri hurt n scare coz he was dun wish to lose me den ) ... during tis few days , he told me all those i haf done to make him hurt n cause him to love me lesser n lesser ... i feel so guilty n sorry coz i do not haf the intention to hurt him one so i told him i will definitely change myself becoz of him ... now i'm not like tat anymore ... Some of the times he oso hurt me a great deal lo ... onli i did not tell him abt tat
Yesterdae he told me tat , he always dream of those sad memories in the past , recalling e past ... Tis few weeks my skin is allergic to e surrounding air so i cannot go out beri often ... tats y i onli see him once in a week. Due to my staying at hM n doin the same thing everydae again n again , i feel tat i haf nothing much to tell him abt when we went out lo ... or its like i'll always try to initiate sth but he sae a few words n keep quiet le ... So its very hard for me to actually come out wif sth to tok when he kept so quiet n i was like scare to sae sth due to the tension ... So he said he felt tat we r rather sian together , even go shopping wif me oso beri bored , dunno how to create sth fun out of it ... Before knowing me , he admit tat he was a quiet n serious guy , seldom joke ard one ... He oso never tok much to his fren ... i feel tat he is very strange coz when u r wif frens , u will tend to tok a lot one rite ... but he is different ... even now he is oso like tat ard wif his grp of frens ... After knowing me , i can feel tat he is more more talktaive , every single thing i'm always the 1st one to noe .. so now he said tat for tis period he had told me everything abt his life tat he has nth to tok to me rite now ... he is bored of the r/s coz we always do the same thing ... nth now ... but i was like wad can we do besides shopping , watch movies , play pool , cyclings etc ... he told me tat he onli has a little bit of feelings for me n its oso the same for me ... i feel tat i dun reli love him a lot now ... so yesterdae he suggested ending the r/s n becoming best frens instead ... i was extremely reluctant at 1st but in the end i agreed. Over the phone , we chatted a lot n laughed but as frens not as lovers ... tis made me beri XiN sUan
But ... todae i sent him one sms , saying tat i feel so strange , as if i've lose part of my life ... And he sms back wif same here ... i oso feel like i lose something ... He called me after some time , telling me tat he still wans to be wif him coz he felt tat i'm so important to him thinking tat we cant be like in the past anymore n for so long , finally i heard him saying tat he loves me ... i cried over the phone n he said tat his phone was wet becoz he was oso crying ... we were so loving den ... haiz. Y does it haf to turn out like tat ... Recently , he has a little crush on a gal frm his sch ... i feel beri sad over tis at 1st lo but i've kinda gotten over it now ... So now we r back together again ... But wad can i do to not make him feel so bored wif our r/s ? I'm not tat quiet type lo ... JUz tat i dunno wad to tell him when he kept showing tat moody face of him ... And r there any interesting places to go for couples ? i reli dun wish to make him feel bored anymore ... Pard0n mE for those spelling n grammar mistakes coz i'm typing out all tis in a beri sinking feeling -
U 2 r on to da next stage of r/s... & dats called commitment. I cant comment much coz I no r/s b4 & I dun tink I got da right to sae it too... but do tink abt dis "commitment"... U will come to a pt where U 2 will decide wat happens next.
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HI girl,
As what you say he has a crush on a girl from his school. Crush is not love, it's maybe only a moment of affection. I assume you two are still very much in love but what you two lack is commuincation and something to really push ur relationship up. Sometimes when at home you can try watching tv with like like his favourite sports or ur favourite drama. Play computer games, buy puzzles etc..
this is something that can boost up a bit...
when relationships get long, it is the thing that will happen lah, so dun get too worry over it. ideas!! think of ideas that can be a common and fun thing for u two to do... it helps...
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oooooooooooooooook... *breathes deeply*
the problem i see here seems to be a reln out of habit. many couples out there stay together becos that's wat they've been doing for X amount of years, it doesn't cause them that much discomfort (you know like living with ur parents becos u dun have a choice, for some of us) but it is not a loving an fulfilling relationship.
you're not wrong when u say that interest is lost in a relationship, especially when you are young. that would be my first assumption. youngsters get into a reln for different reasons, of course we all profess to love our partners, but let's not even go there, for it's hard to define, even without age or maturity in the equation.
i believe when we are/were younger, we go into relationships for fun. companionship, someone to hang out with, play, even to look good (i have a pretty gf type thing) in front of frens. if i may be so bold to say, most young pple would beg to differ, they would say it's true love etc etc, but in time, the same people would look back and laugh at themselves. how silly i was then!
so, back to u. unfortunately this is something that most of us go thru when we are/were young. it's a learning experience, something that we will take with us in our next relationship, provided we learn from our "mistakes". actually, i should use the word experiences instead of mistakes. no one could be in the wrong yet the relationship fizzles.
pertaining to the specifics, i would suggest that you both cool it on the "why are we like this?" part. the more u stress about why it's not like that, the more it's NOT gonna be like that, if u know wat i mean. in a way, i'm saying, take the reln LESS seriously. go with the flow. nothing to talk don't talk, don't feel like meeting, don't meet. why pressure each other? wat sort of person says to herself "aiyah i better find something to talk to him about if not we'll be very quiet and awkward"... often, the silence between couples is intimate beyond description.
yeah.. try that. dun FORCE urself to be silent, but there are other forms of communication. stay in each others' embrace in silence. i know some guys have a problem with that (i have NO IDEA why!) but if u cannot be silent with ur partner, u're definitely not comfortable with eact other.
er.. i think that's it for now. watever it is that happens, never stop learning. that's just how life works. -
I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
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I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
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xplain 2 him tt maybe after posting yr problems here,the advises ppl give u all u 2 can accept n yr r/s will improve...say u only come here for advises lor...not 2 boast abt yr r/s or wat...tok 2 him calmly...explain things 2 him properly...Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ? -
wah..Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
well if u want to u can try to ask the admin devil1976 to delete this thread, but i guess the damage is already done.
tell him the beauty of the internet is that it can be totally anonymous, and that u truly want to find a solution for a relationship that obviously means alot to u. different pple have different opinions about sharing things online, and obviously you differ with ur bf in this respect.
like i said in my post, maybe u shouldn't try "too" hard to kick-start the reln. it's putting added pressure on both parties. remember never to bang a double-reinforced polycarbonate steel wall. somethings cannot be fought. have a good rational think about things and see how u go. life is made up of decisions, wrong or otherwise, but they have to be made.
another note that i've just realised: u come across as, how to say... passive? or submissive, perhaps. when he expressed disgust when u obviously have good intentions when posting your problem here, why do come running here crying and asking how to rectify this. why don't u trash it out with him telling him how "desperate" you are to save the reln and let him know how u feel, that u only mean well and that u did it becos u love him etc etc? make ur stand! sometimes gals need to speak out. guys are just block-headed. yeah i admit that...
u have a mind and heart of ur own. show it to him and it may be the most attractive part of you that may attract him yet. -
There are some people who doesnt like to 'share' their problems or make their relationship known 'online' or to people whom they are not familiar with... and by the way I am one of them...Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
All u have to do is explain to your bf and tell him the reason for u doing so... Tell him u are doing so cos' u are vex and of course loves him very much... and hoping to have a good solution to your problems.
In future, u have to think twice before telling him that u are sharing problems with others... remember... wat they NOT know doesnt hurt.... and I am not teaching u to lie or be untruthful.... jus think twice before u incur his wrath.... -
Dear |Uv`-f|UtE-`,Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:Currently i'm facing a lot of problems in my r/s..me n my bf haf been together for bout 1yr 8 mths oredi..In the past , sometimes i hurt him a lot like i for nothing will get angry (eX.1 when he tok n laughs wif his frens which consist of a majority of guys n a minority of gals , i will juz get jealous although to ur may sound silly lo , i reli cant help it. eX.2 when i tok to guys , he will feel beri hurt n scare coz he was dun wish to lose me den ) ... during tis few days , he told me all those i haf done to make him hurt n cause him to love me lesser n lesser ... i feel so guilty n sorry coz i do not haf the intention to hurt him one so i told him i will definitely change myself becoz of him ... now i'm not like tat anymore ... Some of the times he oso hurt me a great deal lo ... onli i did not tell him abt tat
Yesterdae he told me tat , he always dream of those sad memories in the past , recalling e past ... Tis few weeks my skin is allergic to e surrounding air so i cannot go out beri often ... tats y i onli see him once in a week. Due to my staying at hM n doin the same thing everydae again n again , i feel tat i haf nothing much to tell him abt when we went out lo ... or its like i'll always try to initiate sth but he sae a few words n keep quiet le ... So its very hard for me to actually come out wif sth to tok when he kept so quiet n i was like scare to sae sth due to the tension ... So he said he felt tat we r rather sian together , even go shopping wif me oso beri bored , dunno how to create sth fun out of it ... Before knowing me , he admit tat he was a quiet n serious guy , seldom joke ard one ... He oso never tok much to his fren ... i feel tat he is very strange coz when u r wif frens , u will tend to tok a lot one rite ... but he is different ... even now he is oso like tat ard wif his grp of frens ... After knowing me , i can feel tat he is more more talktaive , every single thing i'm always the 1st one to noe .. so now he said tat for tis period he had told me everything abt his life tat he has nth to tok to me rite now ... he is bored of the r/s coz we always do the same thing ... nth now ... but i was like wad can we do besides shopping , watch movies , play pool , cyclings etc ... he told me tat he onli has a little bit of feelings for me n its oso the same for me ... i feel tat i dun reli love him a lot now ... so yesterdae he suggested ending the r/s n becoming best frens instead ... i was extremely reluctant at 1st but in the end i agreed. Over the phone , we chatted a lot n laughed but as frens not as lovers ... tis made me beri XiN sUan
But ... todae i sent him one sms , saying tat i feel so strange , as if i've lose part of my life ... And he sms back wif same here ... i oso feel like i lose something ... He called me after some time , telling me tat he still wans to be wif him coz he felt tat i'm so important to him thinking tat we cant be like in the past anymore n for so long , finally i heard him saying tat he loves me ... i cried over the phone n he said tat his phone was wet becoz he was oso crying ... we were so loving den ... haiz. Y does it haf to turn out like tat ... Recently , he has a little crush on a gal frm his sch ... i feel beri sad over tis at 1st lo but i've kinda gotten over it now ... So now we r back together again ... But wad can i do to not make him feel so bored wif our r/s ? I'm not tat quiet type lo ... JUz tat i dunno wad to tell him when he kept showing tat moody face of him ... And r there any interesting places to go for couples ? i reli dun wish to make him feel bored anymore ... Pard0n mE for those spelling n grammar mistakes coz i'm typing out all tis in a beri sinking feeling
Try to be more considerate and dun get jealous easily.. Hw is with his group of GUYS friends.. Of cos they will talk about gUYs stuff instead of Girls things... If you know you are goin to meet his friends together with him.. YOu should know what will the topic be like.. So dun get angry for NOthing.. and maybe you could join in their conversations too..
When you talk to guys.. is it his friends or your guy friends or someone your bf doesnt know? afraid of losing you? Well, a sense of possession? Insecurity? A fully satisfied man will never fall for another..
He talks to you about the things that you hurt him.. Try not to be so annoyed over such Little things.. Tame your temper down too.. If you keep on going like this.. angry for nothing.. angry jus bcos he talks to his friends everything on guys things and not girls matter.. And after that he got to "hong" you back.. One day he sure cant take it and get sian of doing the same thing again.. YEs.. finally he couldn't take it anymore.. Now at least you realised that what you've been doing is wrong... You regretted.. feel guilty... Try to change your attitude towards him.. Be more considerate..
Dreaming of past memories doesnt mean/show bad omen.. or bad things.. It suggests that he is ready to get rid of his old ways and undergo some sort of new transformation and new outlook in life. It also indicates a lesson to be learned something from the past. Due to the weather and SARs virus.. Is best to stay at home and dun go crowded places too.. Moreover you are allergy to it..
Basically.. in your relationship.. both of you are lack of communication.. And your bf is really sick of the things you all have been doing.. it becomes a routine each day.. He told you everything about about his life and nothing else to talk?? You can talk about something out of jus his life your life.. For instance - Share what have you watch on tv.. what stupid things you done... what books you read.. what funny things that you've come across.. Dun hold on the phone and keep quiet.. He was once a very quiet person.. Suddenly ask him to change to a very talkative person takes time... If he dunno what to talk to you.. you can start a topic yourself.. Practically jus talk about anything that come to your mind.. But now... He's tired of it..
Besides cycling, pool, shopping, movies.. you can always come up with some surprises.. or do little stuffs for him.. Or you 2 can go take up some activities together.. Do something extra not the thigns you always and usually does..
Right now.. both of you comment that don't really have feelings for each other.. and decide to end the relationship and become friends.. Funny is that when u 2 becomes friends you seems to have a lot to talk.. Why is this so? Cos both of you doesnt feel so tense and no commitment considered.. that's why you can open your heart and talk freely..
But somehow you feel strange.. As if one part of life has gone.. He feels the same too.. And then you got back together.. and he say he loves you... Simply becos.. both of you are so used to being with each other.. this becomes a companion rather then BGR - You are so used to each other that is has become a habit.. Both wants each other back not becos you still love him/her - but jus that both havent find another right person. He had a crush on someone. Who knows later he realised is not jus merely a crush but is someone he likes.. he gets to see this girl everyday in sch.. but he doesnt get to see you often right..
Now that you've come to a stage that the kind of chemistry has gone - I suggest you to sort out your real feelings for him.. Ask yourself is it love or is it jus for companion.. Are you taking things for granted or is jus plainy a routine in a relation. You once said you dun really love him.. Think about it.. When a relation break and patch.. it often leads to a faster stage of declining. You are afraid that boredom might lead to another break up again..
If you really do love him.. Get some actions done.. Make some progress in the relation.. Not neccessary must go interesting places.. when he feels moody.. try cheerin him up.. or have a chat with him and make him open up his heart and talk to you.. Communication is very important in a relationship.. Let him know that when he's with you.. He's happy.. and not moody.. Let him know that you always be there for him.. caring and supporting him..
Dont get too depressed about it.. Think twice before making any decisions.. There's bound to be one solution to it..
Cheers! -
We are here to give suggestions and advices..Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
We are not here to tell you what to do.. it jus references for you to read...
Decisions always lies with the parties involved.. Not people here or anywhere.. -
4get abt him .. get 2 noe more frenz then u'll have a better guy..
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u might wanna refer here b4 u sprout sh[/i]it like that...Originally posted by Cancerian:4get abt him .. get 2 noe more frenz then u'll have a better guy..
of course i believe in freedom of speech, just that not every speech is respectable. -
Hm.... i understand how u feel..
Its only when e two of u broke and when u feel bored u felt like calling him. And then u realise that u 2 broke off liao..
And yet u are get along alot better as frenz and this indeed feel very XIN SUAN...
So e two of u are now together. Well i think is due to e lack of communication and understanding..
Cos i believe if there is den no matter where u go. the two of you will also feel happy and not bored of it..
Anyway goodf luck to e two of you... And now is my turn liao...
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communication plays a very impt part in r/s.. since u 2 have break up and decide to be best friend.. try to adapt to it.....
sure u will feel sad over the whole thing.. who wun be sad rite? at least u 2 used to have some sweet memories together rite... we have to look fwd to the future~
is it always after we have lose something den onlie we will start to feel sad? [/i] -
Ok flute, I going to go shorter with this, because I have this tendancy to match up long post with long post. (which means less nagging.Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:Currently i'm facing a lot of problems in my r/s..me n my bf haf been together for bout 1yr 8 mths oredi..In the past , sometimes i hurt him a lot like i for nothing will get angry (eX.1 when he tok n laughs wif his frens which consist of a majority of guys n a minority of gals , i will juz get jealous although to ur may sound silly lo , i reli cant help it. eX.2 when i tok to guys , he will feel beri hurt n scare coz he was dun wish to lose me den ) ... during tis few days , he told me all those i haf done to make him hurt n cause him to love me lesser n lesser ... i feel so guilty n sorry coz i do not haf the intention to hurt him one so i told him i will definitely change myself becoz of him ... now i'm not like tat anymore ... Some of the times he oso hurt me a great deal lo ... onli i did not tell him abt tat
Yesterdae he told me tat , he always dream of those sad memories in the past , recalling e past ... Tis few weeks my skin is allergic to e surrounding air so i cannot go out beri often ... tats y i onli see him once in a week. Due to my staying at hM n doin the same thing everydae again n again , i feel tat i haf nothing much to tell him abt when we went out lo ... or its like i'll always try to initiate sth but he sae a few words n keep quiet le ... So its very hard for me to actually come out wif sth to tok when he kept so quiet n i was like scare to sae sth due to the tension ... So he said he felt tat we r rather sian together , even go shopping wif me oso beri bored , dunno how to create sth fun out of it ... Before knowing me , he admit tat he was a quiet n serious guy , seldom joke ard one ... He oso never tok much to his fren ... i feel tat he is very strange coz when u r wif frens , u will tend to tok a lot one rite ... but he is different ... even now he is oso like tat ard wif his grp of frens ... After knowing me , i can feel tat he is more more talktaive , every single thing i'm always the 1st one to noe .. so now he said tat for tis period he had told me everything abt his life tat he has nth to tok to me rite now ... he is bored of the r/s coz we always do the same thing ... nth now ... but i was like wad can we do besides shopping , watch movies , play pool , cyclings etc ... he told me tat he onli has a little bit of feelings for me n its oso the same for me ... i feel tat i dun reli love him a lot now ... so yesterdae he suggested ending the r/s n becoming best frens instead ... i was extremely reluctant at 1st but in the end i agreed. Over the phone , we chatted a lot n laughed but as frens not as lovers ... tis made me beri XiN sUan
But ... todae i sent him one sms , saying tat i feel so strange , as if i've lose part of my life ... And he sms back wif same here ... i oso feel like i lose something ... He called me after some time , telling me tat he still wans to be wif him coz he felt tat i'm so important to him thinking tat we cant be like in the past anymore n for so long , finally i heard him saying tat he loves me ... i cried over the phone n he said tat his phone was wet becoz he was oso crying ... we were so loving den ... haiz. Y does it haf to turn out like tat ... Recently , he has a little crush on a gal frm his sch ... i feel beri sad over tis at 1st lo but i've kinda gotten over it now ... So now we r back together again ... But wad can i do to not make him feel so bored wif our r/s ? I'm not tat quiet type lo ... JUz tat i dunno wad to tell him when he kept showing tat moody face of him ... And r there any interesting places to go for couples ? i reli dun wish to make him feel bored anymore ... Pard0n mE for those spelling n grammar mistakes coz i'm typing out all tis in a beri sinking feeling 
)
You feel that the problem revolves around this huge giant topic of 'Being-sian-in-the-relation.' Let me say something: A couple truly in love enjoys being together and not the things they do. OBVIOUSLY - the chemistry is blown off after a while and sinks into this phrase called the routine relation.
What is routine relationship?
Let me ask some simple questions: Do you still have the great desire to see your other partner? Do you still sms those cute little mushy mashy message anymore? How about the last time when you gazed into his/her eyes just for the sake of looking at him/her? Etc, etc, etc.
You both are bored easily because both of you ain't reached to a stage where you feel you could settle with one - Its natural and many people are in the same boat as you.
You mention that after you both break, it seemed like you lost some part of yourself, but dunno exactly what - This another clue of a routine relationship - its what my book, CloUdiSm - state as the Plain Water Relation (Plain water are tasteless, but you can't live without them).
Both of you are SO used to being together that love isn't a factor to hold this relationship. Its the companionship and the fear to venture alone in life.
He mentioned that he has a little crush on this girl - my guess of 96.3% confidence is that he couldn't get her. Either luck/fate is not on his side or he just never do anything. Because if it does, he wouldn't go back to you. Same for him, naturally same for you if you were to be in this shoes.
Since the both of you have decide to patch back, my suggestion is that if the both of you were to lead this relation like what you people has always been - then I see no point in patching back. This patching must be accompanied by the effort and wanting to work for this relation in ENSURING that this routine problem is minimize. Sunrise mentioned quite a few good examples and ways for better communication, etc - look through her words.
P.S: Patching back isn't simply just patching back - it means you have to strive to put more effort from both side since the previous union.
Cheers -
Da "Emotion" Guru has spoken. Bow b4 da guru.
*points to Yunhaier* -
Ok... I c ur prob... I actuali encounter such probs b4 too in my relationship. Juz tat itz not as serious as wat i wil post here loh. Every relationship is bound 2 haf probs, like wat frenz here say. U muz b stil young like mi i suppose. But u've already been in dis relationship 4 quite a period of time liao. Gettin jealous is normal loh. I would say tat itz a ger's nature. I oso do feel jealous at times when even my bf wif his guy frenz. They may not necessary tok abt guys stuff. Maybe they wil tok abt other gers or ogle at some chiobus outside. So i dun c dis as a prob tat hinder ur relationship.Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:Currently i'm facing a lot of problems in my r/s..me n my bf haf been together for bout 1yr 8 mths oredi..In the past , sometimes i hurt him a lot like i for nothing will get angry (eX.1 when he tok n laughs wif his frens which consist of a majority of guys n a minority of gals , i will juz get jealous although to ur may sound silly lo , i reli cant help it. eX.2 when i tok to guys , he will feel beri hurt n scare coz he was dun wish to lose me den ) ... during tis few days , he told me all those i haf done to make him hurt n cause him to love me lesser n lesser ... i feel so guilty n sorry coz i do not haf the intention to hurt him one so i told him i will definitely change myself becoz of him ... now i'm not like tat anymore ... Some of the times he oso hurt me a great deal lo ... onli i did not tell him abt tat
Yesterdae he told me tat , he always dream of those sad memories in the past , recalling e past ... Tis few weeks my skin is allergic to e surrounding air so i cannot go out beri often ... tats y i onli see him once in a week. Due to my staying at hM n doin the same thing everydae again n again , i feel tat i haf nothing much to tell him abt when we went out lo ... or its like i'll always try to initiate sth but he sae a few words n keep quiet le ... So its very hard for me to actually come out wif sth to tok when he kept so quiet n i was like scare to sae sth due to the tension ... So he said he felt tat we r rather sian together , even go shopping wif me oso beri bored , dunno how to create sth fun out of it ... Before knowing me , he admit tat he was a quiet n serious guy , seldom joke ard one ... He oso never tok much to his fren ... i feel tat he is very strange coz when u r wif frens , u will tend to tok a lot one rite ... but he is different ... even now he is oso like tat ard wif his grp of frens ... After knowing me , i can feel tat he is more more talktaive , every single thing i'm always the 1st one to noe .. so now he said tat for tis period he had told me everything abt his life tat he has nth to tok to me rite now ... he is bored of the r/s coz we always do the same thing ... nth now ... but i was like wad can we do besides shopping , watch movies , play pool , cyclings etc ... he told me tat he onli has a little bit of feelings for me n its oso the same for me ... i feel tat i dun reli love him a lot now ... so yesterdae he suggested ending the r/s n becoming best frens instead ... i was extremely reluctant at 1st but in the end i agreed. Over the phone , we chatted a lot n laughed but as frens not as lovers ... tis made me beri XiN sUan
But ... todae i sent him one sms , saying tat i feel so strange , as if i've lose part of my life ... And he sms back wif same here ... i oso feel like i lose something ... He called me after some time , telling me tat he still wans to be wif him coz he felt tat i'm so important to him thinking tat we cant be like in the past anymore n for so long , finally i heard him saying tat he loves me ... i cried over the phone n he said tat his phone was wet becoz he was oso crying ... we were so loving den ... haiz. Y does it haf to turn out like tat ... Recently , he has a little crush on a gal frm his sch ... i feel beri sad over tis at 1st lo but i've kinda gotten over it now ... So now we r back together again ... But wad can i do to not make him feel so bored wif our r/s ? I'm not tat quiet type lo ... JUz tat i dunno wad to tell him when he kept showing tat moody face of him ... And r there any interesting places to go for couples ? i reli dun wish to make him feel bored anymore ... Pard0n mE for those spelling n grammar mistakes coz i'm typing out all tis in a beri sinking feeling
As u c, when ur tokin wif other guys onli ur bf wil get jealous liao. So e more he shd understand ur feelin... Both of u shd haf trust in each other, shd assure love 4 each other mah. He told u he dreamt abt e past, sad memories i suppose. U shd tok 2 him loh. Tell him tat itz no use tinkin or recallin abt e past liao. Itz a fact tat wat happened in e past did reali happen. But u cant undone it wat... So wats e pt of recallin sad times in e past while e both of u r actuali happy together now in e present? At least if u spend tat time rememberin all e happier times together b4 itz stil reasonable. U shd tel him 2 cherish e present loh...
Den another prob. Ur commuication wif him. Both of u r lackin communication in ur relationship. N tats a impt factor tat contributes 2 a gd relationship. A couple need not c each other everyday as long they haf each other in their heart. N itz oso becoz u dun c each other often so u'll haf more 2 tok 2 him e next time u meet him mah. Ur guy is indeed weird. Guy wif little words... Maybe both of u r stil young n after some time tend 2 get tired of e relationship. Tat shdnt b e case if u reali wanna b together wif him. U shd c long term. Like wat loneryu00 had said, ur in a 'commitment' stage. U n ur guy shd noe wat is commitment n how u go abt it...
But |Uv`-f|UtE-`, glad 2 hear ta ur bk wif ur bf. Itz a gd thing. It shows tat u stil can haf room 4 improvement in dis relationship. It oso shows tat ur stil in love wif each other. Now try 2 haf more communication wif him. Find out more abt him, noe wat he likes 2 do, or c if both of u share similar interests. So u can take up same hobbies wif him, n both of u wil haf more things 2 say loh. Try 2 b gd 2 ur guy, let him feel love fr u. Dun anyhow throw tantrums loh... But sometimes gers wil haf monthly mood swings lah (u-noe-wat-i-mean...)... I oso understand sometimes emo cant control one loh... Mi 'guo lai ren'... Went thru alot too... Ppl here wil noe wat i mean...
Regardin his lil' crush on tat ger fr his sch... Dun worry so much as itz onli moment of affection n it wont last long lah. Unless they take a step forward 2 noe each other better... Anyway itz gd 2 hear tat u've gotten it over liao. But if i were u i wouldnt b so strong as 2 get it over so fast. S'pore is so small n itz always e same places 2 go 4 couples... Itz up 2 both of u n wat preferences u haf den u decide e places loh... Try 2 do lil' stuffs 4 ur guy, surprise him n let him feel different. Im sure he'll appreciate ur effort.
So... Dun get sad now loh... Cherish e time wif ur guy maintain e relationship. Try 2 understand e meanin of 'commitment'. Hope 2 c ur postin some other day tellin us ur on a stable relation wif ur bf liao... Take care. Sorry 4 e long long reply... -
I oso had e same experience as u... My bf oso dun like mi 2 tel our relationship probs 2 e open. He wil feel paiseh n sia sway... Guys r liddat. Their egos mah... I oso feel tat he shd come in n read ur postin as well as e advice... We're onli voicin out our opinions n views on dis matter. Not askin u 2 act as wat we said, rite? Wat u supposed 2 do is solely up 2 u... Hope ur bf understands...Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ?
But in future anything happens between u 2 (choi!), u can feel free 2 post in my forum ~LoVeS hUrTs~ too loh...
Take care...!
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RELAX.... We probably won't even know who you are, not to mention him...?Originally posted by |Uv`-f|UtE-`:I told my bf tat i actually posted e problems in our r/s here so tat he could read e solutions oso ... i never expect him to get disgusted ... he said tat he dun quite like telling ppl abt his life one lor ... How do i overcome tis thingy ? -
Agreed... So far I only noe who's "IamAngeline" coz I see her pic HERE... & Wat's Qoo! not U Qoo... da "Qoo" in da advertisment.Originally posted by Devil1976:RELAX.... We probably won't even know who you are, not to mention him...?
"Moroko Date, Main Damon~~~
Noroun Dara, Koichiya yo~~~~~~" -
Originally posted by loneryu00:
Da "Emotion" Guru has spoken. [b]Bow b4 da guru.
*points to Yunhaier*[/b]
Madness -
I 1st Emotion Guru fanatic.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Madness -
i think u did the right thing to talk it out with yr bf. loving each other conditionlessly is very impt. accepting the other's good point, and bad point, loving the other party regardless of their shortcoming, this will give them the security of being loved regardless their bad points, while giving them room to change for the better for you. encourage the other party to change. talking is indeed very impt, but communicating is more impt. can the other party understand your needs? everyone of us is imperfect. and when 2 imperfect ppl come together, become an imperfect situation. so dun blame yrself, try to be more understanding and change your bad temper. forgive one another. and treat him as you would want to be treated. u'll realise you'll get the same result if he really loves you. dun avoid stuff. just talk it out. u'll find that after talking about it and taking real steps to solving the conflict, u both will become closer. God bless
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:Ok flute, I going to go shorter with this, because I have this tendancy to match up long post with long post. (which means less nagging. )
You feel that the problem revolves around this huge giant topic of 'Being-sian-in-the-relation.' Let me say something: A couple truly in love enjoys being together and not the things they do. OBVIOUSLY - the chemistry is blown off after a while and sinks into this phrase called the routine relation.
What is routine relationship?
Let me ask some simple questions: Do you still have the great desire to see your other partner? Do you still sms those cute little mushy mashy message anymore? How about the last time when you gazed into his/her eyes just for the sake of looking at him/her? Etc, etc, etc.
You both are bored easily because both of you ain't reached to a stage where you feel you could settle with one - Its natural and many people are in the same boat as you.
You mention that after you both break, it seemed like you lost some part of yourself, but dunno exactly what - This another clue of a routine relationship - its what my book, CloUdiSm - state as the Plain Water Relation (Plain water are tasteless, but you can't live without them).
Both of you are SO used to being together that love isn't a factor to hold this relationship. Its the companionship and the fear to venture alone in life.
He mentioned that he has a little crush on this girl - my guess of 96.3% confidence is that he couldn't get her. Either luck/fate is not on his side or he just never do anything. Because if it does, he wouldn't go back to you. Same for him, naturally same for you if you were to be in this shoes.
Since the both of you have decide to patch back, my suggestion is that if the both of you were to lead this relation like what you people has always been - then I see no point in patching back. This patching must be accompanied by the effort and wanting to work for this relation in ENSURING that this routine problem is minimize. Sunrise mentioned quite a few good examples and ways for better communication, etc - look through her words.
P.S: Patching back isn't simply just patching back - it means you have to strive to put more effort from both side since the previous union.
Cheers
Oh my dear... Such a long post i've wrote you also go read ah... hahaha.. anyway me write not as *zai* as you...
You use quality i use quantity.. lolZz