A sexless marriage
-
Originally posted by Sexless:
I have been contemplating to post on this forum but I feel the need to rant a bit and hopefully get some useful advice for my situation. As the thread title says, I'm in a sexless marriage.
I will provide details of my relationship with my wife and some details of myself that will not compromise the privacy of my wife and myself.
To start off, I have known my wife for 5 years and we decided to tie the knot last year. My wife was a virgin when I dated her although she was with her ex-bf for 7 years (not that it matters to me). On the other hand, I have dated several girls before and been in a couple of sexual relationships. When I got to know my wife, she was still with her ex-bf but of course, their relationship was in a very bad shape. Her bf sort-of cheated on her by allowing himself to be seduced by a girl naked in her dormitory, but he did not have sex with her. To summarise, my wife felt the need to move on from this man and date someone else.
At the time where I first got to know my wife through a friend, I was not attracted to her. Also, I was dating a stewardess at that time so it has never cross my mind to consider dating her, until some events took place. I think it all started with my birthday party, stewardess was supposed to come but couldn't make it and my wife came to the party. After the party, a few of my friends and myself went to a park for drinks and I asked my wife along because I felt that she was feeling down at that time and I wanted to cheer her up. On my actual brithday, my wife asked me out for a movie and I agreed and of course, she wished me a happy birthday. From there on, I started to look at my wife in a different way, and we started dating each other. I like my wife for her intelligence, her common interest with me and similar views on many aspects of life. So stewardess girl was out of the picture and I eventually marry my wife at the age of 27.
Now on to the sexuality part.. My wife was a virgin, I was her first sexual partner but it was not easy. It took several tries before I was able to have intercourse with her as she was feeling great pains as I try to penetrate. At that point, I knew that my wife requires encouragement in-order to have sex as she feels more pain that pleasure out of it. In our first few years of relationship, the frequnecy of our sex is about 2 times a month which I feel is not a good frequency. Then, something happened.. she got pregnant. Both of us made a decisive decision to abort it during her first few weeks of pregnancy as both of us are not ready for a child at that time. (You can call me names if you want, perhaps I deserve it) That was the turning point of our sexual life, it turned for the worst. After abortion, we did not have sex for a year.. not even petting. Prior to getting married we did have sex once in 6 months although we could not complete the full intercourse as she was experiencing discomfort. During our trip to Japan, we did not have sex either. A few months before our marriage, I had a talk with her about our sexual relationship and asked her about the possible reasons of the pain. She said that it is probably because she was scared to get pregnant again. I tried to help her by introducing a vibrator, game and lubricant but to no avail. I also managed to persuade her to visit the gynae to check if there is anything wrong with her vagina, there wasn't. Anyway, I still love my wife despite her seemingly asexual behavior and decided to marry her thinking that perhpas after marriage things will get better for us.
Well, things did not get better. During the few days in our hotel after the wedding dinner, we did not have sex at all. Whenever I try to touch her intimately, she would be irritated and reject me. After a few attempts, I got fraustrated and laid in the bathtub for an hour refusing to talk to her. At that time, I almost felt like crying. It has been 6 months since we tied the knot and we only had sex once though it was not a full intercourse.On one occasion, feeling fraustrated after a rejection from her, I threaten her saying that she should be prepared to face the consequences. I ignored her after that and just focused on sleeping. A few weeks later, I brought up the issue of our sexual life again. I told her how I have been feeling and that I still feel disappointed about what happened on the wedding night. Feeling fraustrated, I told her that I have thrown in the towel and I have lost interest in having sex with her. She kept quiet and did not say much.
I think I'm a person with high libido, so I needed to have an avenue to meet my needs. My wife allows me to watch porn and masturbate, so I have been doing this in order to keep myself from feeling depressed. Recently, I found an article that might be related to her problem so I forward to my wife and she concurs with the conditions she is facing in that article. She is probably having this condition called Vaginismus. The only friend that I've told of my situation advised me to persuade my wife to see a sexologist which she agrees to. The relationship with my wife is seemingly good and we are going to Greece on our honeymoon next week. I'm currently fraustrated that she is so passive on our sexual problem and it seems to me that she do not compremend the seriousness of the situation.
I hope that someone can offer some valuable advice on how to improve my current situation and no, I'm not going to visit prostittues in Geylang or have an affair.
Thank you for your time reading this, I know it is kind of long winded.
First of all, DAMN YOU for aborting your own child!Secondly, DAMN YOU for forcing your sexual desires upon your loved one (Wife/GF) like a prostitute!
Thirdly, DAMN YOU for threatening your wife just because she had refused to have sex with you!
Fourthly, DAMN YOU for convincing your wife that she has a sexual condition!
And HOW DARE YOU COME HERE AND TELL US THAT THE ENTIRE PROBLEM LIES WITH YOUR WIFE FROM THE BEGINNING!
I can offer no solution for you to FIX your wife, but I believe you need us to give you a solution to FIX YOURSELF.
Sex is not the MOST important factor in a relationship or marriage unless you are an animal who cannot overcome your own lust, then by all means go and RAPE your own wife so that you may be locked up and put away in a cage (prison) for as long as it is neccessary.
Consult a sexologist if you know that your high libido is affecting your marriage!
Do ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR WIFE IS ALSO SOMEONE ELSE'S DAUGHTER, and TREAT HER WITH YOUR UTMOST RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE!
You do not have any rights to force or threaten her in any way even though you are her husband! It's just her bad luck to have married someone selfish like you, who have no capacity or whatsoever to look from her perspective.
What do you think she need? Your COCK? or Your ROMANCE (Not SEX!!)?
If you really want her to have SEX with you, then make her feel like she want to have SEX with you!
It is possible that you are not good enough to romance her and make her want to have SEX with you.
You are a MAN right? You have a COCK and I also hope you still have your BRAIN to think about what you need to do, in order for you to make your WOMAN want your COCK!
Lastly, I will advise you to FOCUS everything you have ON YOUR WIFE'S NEEDS. You will definitely FAIL again if you tried to focus on your own needs again.
-
lol.. Parnie girl.. relax ya.. don get so worked up lah.
I think men like TS really should just get a vasectomy.
Self -centered men shouldn't have kids. Because it's a lot of sacrifice and selflessness needed raising kids together as a family.
He is better off just dying without offsprings.
-
Vaginismus.. lol
Sounds more like a case of some mental scar so deep and appaling during her first sexual encounter with TS that she fears and get all withdrawned to feel this way.
Maybe someone just aint got the skillz... to pay the billz...
kekeke
-
Originally posted by parn:
First of all, DAMN YOU for aborting your own child!Secondly, DAMN YOU for forcing your sexual desires upon your loved one (Wife/GF) like a prostitute!
Thirdly, DAMN YOU for threatening your wife just because she had refused to have sex with you!
Fourthly, DAMN YOU for convincing your wife that she has a sexual condition!
And HOW DARE YOU COME HERE AND TELL US THAT THE ENTIRE PROBLEM LIES WITH YOUR WIFE FROM THE BEGINNING!
I can offer no solution for you to FIX your wife, but I believe you need us to give you a solution to FIX YOURSELF.
Sex is not the MOST important factor in a relationship or marriage unless you are an animal who cannot overcome your own lust, then by all means go and RAPE your own wife so that you may be locked up and put away in a cage (prison) for as long as it is neccessary.
Consult a sexologist if you know that your high libido is affecting your marriage!
Do ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR WIFE IS ALSO SOMEONE ELSE'S DAUGHTER, and TREAT HER WITH YOUR UTMOST RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE!
You do not have any rights to force or threaten her in any way even though you are her husband! It's just her bad luck to have married someone selfish like you, who have no capacity or whatsoever to look from her perspective.
What do you think she need? Your COCK? or Your ROMANCE (Not SEX!!)?
If you really want her to have SEX with you, then make her feel like she want to have SEX with you!
It is possible that you are not good enough to romance her and make her want to have SEX with you.
You are a MAN right? You have a COCK and I also hope you still have your BRAIN to think about what you need to do, in order for you to make your WOMAN want your COCK!
Lastly, I will advise you to FOCUS everything you have ON YOUR WIFE'S NEEDS. You will definitely FAIL again if you tried to focus on your own needs again.
You need to shut your cunt.....i mean your mouth up.
-
Originally posted by jojobeach:
lol.. Parnie girl.. relax ya.. don get so worked up lah.
I think men like TS really should just get a vasectomy.
Self -centered men shouldn't have kids. Because it's a lot of sacrifice and selflessness needed raising kids together as a family.
He is better off just dying without offsprings.
you don't know shit la. Like i said, your estrogen takes you on fantasy trips. I bet you're not even married.
-
Originally posted by Rock^Star:
you don't know shit la. Like i said, your estrogen takes you on fantasy trips. I bet you're not even married.
You don't know shit lah virgin boy. What have you contributed so far ? Nothing.
Come come, share with us your vast wisdom. Have you got any ?
Don't like my posting.. then don't read. Go do something else better with your life. OK ? Good.
-
sex is important in a marriage. have u ever really try your best to satisfy her? do u get that satisfaction?, maybe u didnt try hard enough.
-
try also no use. only want shiok no use condom. then everything sex no use condom get pregnant expect the lady go abort. thing abort like format computer issit? ladies also want shiok, but unlike man they also have to thing about the possiblilty of getting preg. getting preg is like OC-ing computer. the jackpot hit when timing and fertilization is right at the moment the sperm stays alive long enough in the cosy famle body to find an ovum and fertilise an egg. voolah!
same at OC-ing computer, once you get the fastest and sweetest sponts for timing between the mobo, ram and graphics card voolah you got the fastest and yet stable machine!
-
Try to handle your libido discreetly, so that she wont be stressed by it. Because being sexy and desired is a built in need in women. Do not pressure her or anything. Be supportive.
Treat her as your date. Bring her out, have fun, relax. Do crazy things. Get her mind away from work-related stress or anything whatsoever. Make her remember why she married you, and re-ignite her dream of a bright future with you. Sometimes treat her like a kid and pamper her abit.
Send her surprise presents. When she ask why just give stupid reasons like, "I was daydreaming about the times we spent together, yada yada" Send to her office too (so that her colleagues will become green and she will be flattered). Give her kisses out of nowhere, play with her hands, her hair. Learn to listen to her. Show a willingness to take on her problems.
Reassure her!! This is very impt. Some girls are naturally insecure. tell her she looks nice, she have good taste, she is the best. Basically powder her butt. Cos she got issues with her sexuality(i.e. scars) She might be afraid of sex cos of the conditions you mentioned
Do not force yourself on her, threaten her or whatsoever. Just release your stored up cells in the bathroom. Slowly get her in the mood. If she rejects your advances, just kiss her in the forehead and massage her (if she likes). sayang her abit. Sooner or later you will get what you want (hopefully). Since by doing so, you throw the ball into her court. She might start questioning is she failing in doing her part in the maintenance of the r/s. Who knows after she warmed up in this way that everything will be fine
Remember dates!!! cos the general perception is guys bo chap. So sure can score brownie points.
Show optimism in the r/s. Cos gt abortion, den got some other problems.
And very impt, enable her dreams! This is where understanding of her becomes important. Be it childhood dreams, future dreams, daydreams, fairytale dreams. Dun need to succeed la, just try try, in maths you score points for working, with women you score points for trying
agar agar like that la. Dunno will work anot. Just thinking about what girls want nia LOL
-
Originally posted by Rock^Star:
You need to shut your cunt.....i mean your mouth up.
So you're sexless??
If not, why are you behaving so uptight about my post?
Perhaps my post is also relevant to you, and a simple word of thanks would be nice if I had really nailed you hard on the head.
-
damn the sluts that made all these modern evils to happen....
-
MAN does not require any definition, approval or disapproval from those who are sluts themselves...
why do we need to do things to get sucked? we want it we get it by all means and ways....foolish sluts are dumbfounded by their own foolish materialistic vain fantasies that get themselves slutted for nothing...
what the system spoiled the sluts....we condemn
-
every one is free to voice...what uptight or no tight the sluts holes are untight through many ONS....
speak your mind ROCKSTAR....
the system has far way too spoiled the Sg sluts.....give them a piece....
with caning preferably
-
Originally posted by jojobeach:
You don't know shit lah virgin boy. What have you contributed so far ? Nothing.
Come come, share with us your vast wisdom. Have you got any ?
Don't like my posting.. then don't read. Go do something else better with your life. OK ? Good.
Don't bother and get yourself dirtied with midget kind like Rock^Star.I heard that his cock is shorter than his smallest toe.
Let's be gracious and ignore his frequent but uncontrollable 'short' burst ya?
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
damn the sluts that made all these modern evils to happen....
I am replying the post of one particular fan of sluts.Who do you think I'm referring to?
-
Where got chicken rice with no chicken one
-
with the current direction the system is spoiling the sluts and all those lop sided policies...
we are heading not only a sexless society...but plagued with more divorces..and more singles...more aged population and what are those policy makers doing up there on the hill tops....do they know what is going on down there??
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
every one is free to voice...what uptight or no tight the sluts holes are untight through many ONS....
speak your mind ROCKSTAR....
the system has far way too spoiled the Sg sluts.....give them a piece....
with caning preferably
Yes Rock^Star, you should obey Fcukpap because he is more rational than you,The two of you should just go from a duo called "Rock^Star Fcukpap".
-
Originally posted by Paisley:
Where got chicken rice with no chicken one
Got.... what do you called the chicken-flavoured rice itself?Chicken rice lor.....
-
it all goes back to the system again...
we (men) are also paying the big fat salaries of ministers....u cannot just do your job by pacifying the sluts only and just make sure the women charter is uplifted.....that is already an unbalanced perception....this takes roots and the rise of singles or a sexless society ....a marriage phobia to the detriment of the males becomes inherent....there is no legal protection at all on this side....
the ministers's sons are excluded....sure....why not....they have power...swarms of bees are after them....
-
this is one big issue we (men) pay them but its ok without any solution....but dun aggravate with more lop sided policies against us....
keep the money we pay you...but dun step on our tails....
-
we have NS, we fork out half the property upon divorce, we pay taxes like the rest, be more charitable for money laundering institutions....what else do u want?
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
with the current direction the system is spoiling the sluts and all those lop sided policies...
we are heading not only a sexless society...but plagued with more divorces..and more singles...more aged population and what are those policy makers doing up there on the hill tops....do they know what is going on down there??
What system? Which system?Do you mean the system where SG guys cannot keep their marriage alive without threats of divorce?
Or the system where SG guys need to go ebay a PRC/Viet-Con wife for themselves and be looked down by their peers around the world?
Or the system where SG guys need to cry out "Shut up and let me fuck you" shamelessly to SG girls?
I suggest all pubs and bars to be relocated to Geylang so that we can help these pathetic SG guys to shed some light and hope in their hopeless relationship careers.
When that happens, they can help themselves to whores and whores and help themselves to these loser raddishs (white carrots).
You need them, they also need you.
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
it all goes back to the system again...
we (men) are also paying the big fat salaries of ministers....u cannot just do your job by pacifying the sluts only and just make sure the women charter is uplifted.....that is already an unbalanced perception....this takes roots and the rise of singles or a sexless society ....a marriage phobia to the detriment of the males becomes inherent....there is no legal protection at all on this side....
the ministers's sons are excluded....sure....why not....they have power...swarms of bees are after them....
What nonsense are you talking about?Who pays for your allowances when you are pathetically doing your NS?
It's women's money that the government are using to feed and pays for your pathetic lives.
Afterall, we worked in society earlier than guys, so that's why you guys can enjoy an extremely soft-bowled of rice during your NS.
Thank us ok?
-
Originally posted by Fcukpap:
this is one big issue we (men) pay them but its ok without any solution....but dun aggravate with more lop sided policies against us....
keep the money we pay you...but dun step on our tails....
We earns more money than you, that's why we can afford to spend more than you.Which Era are you from again?
Qing Dynasty??