Just ended a realtionship... a week before our parents are supposed to meet to discuss on wedding...He says he need to think about things betw us..I find it really ridiculous since we are planning for the wedding... It's quote apparent that he is not sure about me I guess... so I told him not to even need to think over it.. he said that I am always lie that not making him feel comfortable... but com'on... at this stage of planning for our wedding, he said he need to think over the whole thing?!..?? I don't wanna be so pathetic... I am obviously not the right one that he wants.. Afterall, he didn't propose & I am the one who gave him the deadline for wedding..
We had a roll this week & I said I don't trust him. He said he had a dinner/discussion with his distributor but I found out that he was at a pub right after he dropped me off in town. When I confronted him he said he had a meeting at the distributor office before going for dinner. When I said I knew he was at a pub, he said the distributor made a mistake so he went to the pub first & then to their office & back to the pub...We are in the same industry.. Frankly, the chance of that happening is extremely low..Suppliers are treated like kings..
We didn't talk for a day..When I asked him what should I tell my mum, he said we both should think abt it.. Then he blurted out all his complains abt me & say he wanna think abt it when he is overseas next week..
Hahaha... I think it's really rubbish... In spite of the fact that I said it's up to me to leave this issue behind, he kept going on that it's not gonna work out... he kept saying he divorced his ex-wife coz she doesn't trust him... What's there to think then? If I am such a difficult person to be with..what's there to think...And of course, I can't believe I am such a difficult person to be with.... I can't believe we were shopping for a house a week ago too!...
Shocked at his remark within such a short span of time... of course.. sad at the same time... My god... I am utterly stunned and sad.....
Life is not fair, the world is not fair, justice will never be serve to the bad people.
Just remember that life is not only unkind to you, there are many other people out that that wasn't treated kindly by life.
Don't go for guys who brags, lies, and too full of themselves.
How many more times do you need to be reminded that our current societies do not produce worthy guys?
Have you consider beginning a new life overseas in another country? It may be a good time to have a long thought about it. No point remaining in a country full of unworthy guys and force yourself to like one of them.
Originally posted by Carb:Just ended a realtionship... a week before our parents are supposed to meet to discuss on wedding...He says he need to think about things betw us..I find it really ridiculous since we are planning for the wedding... It's quote apparent that he is not sure about me I guess... so I told him not to even need to think over it.. he said that I am always lie that not making him feel comfortable... but com'on... at this stage of planning for our wedding, he said he need to think over the whole thing?!..?? I don't wanna be so pathetic... I am obviously not the right one that he wants.. Afterall, he didn't propose & I am the one who gave him the deadline for wedding..
We had a roll this week & I said I don't trust him. He said he had a dinner/discussion with his distributor but I found out that he was at a pub right after he dropped me off in town. When I confronted him he said he had a meeting at the distributor office before going for dinner. When I said I knew he was at a pub, he said the distributor made a mistake so he went to the pub first & then to their office & back to the pub...We are in the same industry.. Frankly, the chance of that happening is extremely low..Suppliers are treated like kings..
We didn't talk for a day..When I asked him what should I tell my mum, he said we both should think abt it.. Then he blurted out all his complains abt me & say he wanna think abt it when he is overseas next week..
Hahaha... I think it's really rubbish... In spite of the fact that I said it's up to me to leave this issue behind, he kept going on that it's not gonna work out... he kept saying he divorced his ex-wife coz she doesn't trust him... What's there to think then? If I am such a difficult person to be with..what's there to think...And of course, I can't believe I am such a difficult person to be with.... I can't believe we were shopping for a house a week ago too!...
Shocked at his remark within such a short span of time... of course.. sad at the same time... My god... I am utterly stunned and sad.....
Its better to sit down and think if this man is really the man you want. Do you want all these dramas to continue after getting married. Never rush into a wedding if you are unsure of the guy's character and such.And what ? No propose and given a deadline ? And you call that a wedding ?
Originally posted by Carb:Just ended a realtionship... a week before our parents are supposed to meet to discuss on wedding...He says he need to think about things betw us..I find it really ridiculous since we are planning for the wedding... It's quote apparent that he is not sure about me I guess... so I told him not to even need to think over it.. he said that I am always lie that not making him feel comfortable... but com'on... at this stage of planning for our wedding, he said he need to think over the whole thing?!..?? I don't wanna be so pathetic... I am obviously not the right one that he wants.. Afterall, he didn't propose & I am the one who gave him the deadline for wedding..
We had a roll this week & I said I don't trust him. He said he had a dinner/discussion with his distributor but I found out that he was at a pub right after he dropped me off in town. When I confronted him he said he had a meeting at the distributor office before going for dinner. When I said I knew he was at a pub, he said the distributor made a mistake so he went to the pub first & then to their office & back to the pub...We are in the same industry.. Frankly, the chance of that happening is extremely low..Suppliers are treated like kings..
We didn't talk for a day..When I asked him what should I tell my mum, he said we both should think abt it.. Then he blurted out all his complains abt me & say he wanna think abt it when he is overseas next week..
Hahaha... I think it's really rubbish... In spite of the fact that I said it's up to me to leave this issue behind, he kept going on that it's not gonna work out... he kept saying he divorced his ex-wife coz she doesn't trust him... What's there to think then? If I am such a difficult person to be with..what's there to think...And of course, I can't believe I am such a difficult person to be with.... I can't believe we were shopping for a house a week ago too!...
Shocked at his remark within such a short span of time... of course.. sad at the same time... My god... I am utterly stunned and sad.....
When such a thing happens, both parties need to first look at themselves before starting to point fingers at the other party, if you're both serious about solving the problem, and getting married. Often, both parties need to be responsible for the state of affairs, to a certain extent.
Denial and self-righteousness will not solve anything. Only genuine love, sincerity and courage to face and address the root causes will help your current situation.
http://www.rainbowjigsaw.com/2010/06/quick-checklist-are-you-positive-person.html
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
Thank God it happened now, and not later.
Be angry that it did not happened sooner.
Look at the bright side. You have been lucky.
You have avoided a bad journey through life.
????maybe he has no $$$$$ for wedding....
Originally posted by Carb:Just ended a realtionship... a week before our parents are supposed to meet to discuss on wedding...He says he need to think about things betw us..I find it really ridiculous since we are planning for the wedding... It's quote apparent that he is not sure about me I guess... so I told him not to even need to think over it.. he said that I am always lie that not making him feel comfortable... but com'on... at this stage of planning for our wedding, he said he need to think over the whole thing?!..?? I don't wanna be so pathetic... I am obviously not the right one that he wants.. Afterall, he didn't propose & I am the one who gave him the deadline for wedding..
We had a roll this week & I said I don't trust him. He said he had a dinner/discussion with his distributor but I found out that he was at a pub right after he dropped me off in town. When I confronted him he said he had a meeting at the distributor office before going for dinner. When I said I knew he was at a pub, he said the distributor made a mistake so he went to the pub first & then to their office & back to the pub...We are in the same industry.. Frankly, the chance of that happening is extremely low..Suppliers are treated like kings..
We didn't talk for a day..When I asked him what should I tell my mum, he said we both should think abt it.. Then he blurted out all his complains abt me & say he wanna think abt it when he is overseas next week..
Hahaha... I think it's really rubbish... In spite of the fact that I said it's up to me to leave this issue behind, he kept going on that it's not gonna work out... he kept saying he divorced his ex-wife coz she doesn't trust him... What's there to think then? If I am such a difficult person to be with..what's there to think...And of course, I can't believe I am such a difficult person to be with.... I can't believe we were shopping for a house a week ago too!...
Shocked at his remark within such a short span of time... of course.. sad at the same time... My god... I am utterly stunned and sad.....
"he kept saying he divorced his ex-wife coz she doesn't trust him"
That's a pretty big hint as for why he is unwilling to marry you yet - he doesn't want to go through another divorce for the same reason. Yet you forced him to by setting a deadline for him, which tells him that you're not trusting him that he'll marry you, and you're finding him ridiculous for wanting to think things through before tying the knot. There might be many minor incidents before this that made him felt that you don't trust him enough, and the distributor dinner incident was probably the last straw. How can he marry a person who doesn't even trust him just weeks before marrying her, especially when you take into account the reason for his divorce?
He trusted you to be rational when he told you about his past relationship and the reason he divorced his ex-wife, but instead of appreciating his honesty, you seemed to have taken it as an indicator of untrustworthiness and began doubting his every words and actions, turning yourself into a replica of his ex-wife. Then obviously, using his words, "it's not going to work out", because he felt that it's going to be history repeating itself.
There's nothing wrong with you at all. The only mistake you did was to believe in his ex-wife more than him - to believe that he needs to be doubted and cannot be trusted for his actions. You said "Frankly, the chance of that happening is extremely low", and that means what he explained for the dinner incident could still be the full truth. If you have trusted him enough, you would have apologized for doubting him right after he has given his explanation. That would have given him confidence that the relationship would work out after all, because you're such an understanding person. But at the moment, ego and fear overwhelmed that little faith you had in him - the fear that you would become a victim of his little lies, the fear that if he had indeed lied, you would turn out to be the idiot because that was such an "obvious lie". That completely drowned out the thought, the possibility that he was being truthful after all. So you gave him that distrustful look, and he saw his ex-wife in you.
If you still love him, pray that he's still dwelling in his loss of the relationship and someone hasn't told him to move on. That he's still regretting not informing you in time that he went to a pub for the distributor meeting. That he had wished he didn't quarrel with you over it and lose the woman he loved so much - again. Go to him and apologize for not trusting him enough, and promise him that you would trust him as much as you should. He would probably apologize to you for causing so much hurt to you as well, but don't expect it anyway especially if he's a MCP or the egoistic type. When you look back a couple of years down the road, you both would be glad that this has happened because it has only made your relationship much stronger.