scolding out of the blue
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last week, out of the blue, someone close scolded me non-stop for 30 min. throughout, he scolded me stupid, idiot and ridiculed me as a person and my life, like i am the worst person on earth. i just let him scold. i am amazed at my calm.
even though i was calm during the time he was scolding, his words stuck in my consciousness. the next day the feelings of sadness and hurt started to creep in. for the next three days i was depressed. i could not study, concentrate and think clearly. i was fidgety and restless. whenever i sat down and tried to do my work, tears welled up in my eyes. i felt the hurt strongly.
coincidentally the three days were crucial period leading up to a project deadline. so despite trying hard for 3 days to complete my part of the project, i could not come up with anything because i was blocked to write anything. this caused delay and inconvenience to my teammates. i feel bad but i know in my heart that i had tried my best. they all thought that i was lazy and purposely delay, but i didn't.
at work, my restlessness showed. i had difficulty making up my mind. i couldn't stick to plan. the hurtful words dwell in my mind all the time.
in spite of what people say, to ignore and let go and move on when we meet unpleasant situations such as this, it is not easy. unpleasant experiences do have an impact on us. we get affected. our work gets affected. it is not so easy to "let go, stop blaming, move on, get a life".
anyway i have decided to leave this hell hole. i no longer want such people to entrap me in a negative cycle when i spent a big part of my life trying very hard to get out of it.
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did u did something wrong at the first place to let someone scold u for so long?
on what ground did that someone scold u for?
who is that someone?
is it about work concerned? project? what kind of project? construstion?
the thing u say No head No tail. just know u kana scolded and relunctant to work due to self ego that's all.
my china colleage is lazy. sloppy, careless (actually doesn't care at all, on purpose, and K -Po). he always think other people is sobo-ing him. the boss is ill-treating him.
If u Buay Song with the company RESIGN LA. why stay there SHAME yourself and CAUSE PROBLEM for the team?
Maybe without you, the WORLD WILL BE BETTER for the team?
U will say u need the job? if no job who feed u? yah yah loser always thinking of who feed him / her....
than wake up lah. cry winney babies. THIS WORLD IS CRUEL. singapore is a cruel, hard place to work, survive.
no body is kind. U DIE, they are happy.
if someone left the company. everyone PUSH THEIR FAULT TO HER/HIM and make it the "BLAME KEEPER".
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Sometimes, one has to learn how to bo chup and turn a deaf ear to what others say, particularly if it was the scolding you had got and the things said were unjustified.
One has got to learn how to protect oneself in this world. There will be people who will try to dun us down for a myriad of reasons best known to themselves.Good luck!
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y u come here to tell people u kena pawned liao..??
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First of all. What did that person say ? Is it just baseless flaming and random insulting ? I trust you can ignore that if thats the case.
Secondly, if you indeed did something wrong or any misunderstanding happened, its understandable that the person wants to flame. Reflect on that and change or try to solve that misunderstanding
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Die liao?
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Originally posted by Fire Cracker:
did u did something wrong at the first place to let someone scold u for so long?
on what ground did that someone scold u for?
who is that someone?
is it about work concerned? project? what kind of project? construstion?
the thing u say No head No tail. just know u kana scolded and relunctant to work due to self ego that's all.
my china colleage is lazy. sloppy, careless (actually doesn't care at all, on purpose, and K -Po). he always think other people is sobo-ing him. the boss is ill-treating him.
If u Buay Song with the company RESIGN LA. why stay there SHAME yourself and CAUSE PROBLEM for the team?
Maybe without you, the WORLD WILL BE BETTER for the team?
U will say u need the job? if no job who feed u? yah yah loser always thinking of who feed him / her....
than wake up lah. cry winney babies. THIS WORLD IS CRUEL. singapore is a cruel, hard place to work, survive.
no body is kind. U DIE, they are happy.
if someone left the company. everyone PUSH THEIR FAULT TO HER/HIM and make it the "BLAME KEEPER".
duplicate post
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Originally posted by Fire Cracker:
did u did something wrong at the first place to let someone scold u for so long?
on what ground did that someone scold u for?
who is that someone?
is it about work concerned? project? what kind of project? construstion?
the thing u say No head No tail. just know u kana scolded and relunctant to work due to self ego that's all.
my china colleage is lazy. sloppy, careless (actually doesn't care at all, on purpose, and K -Po). he always think other people is sobo-ing him. the boss is ill-treating him.
If u Buay Song with the company RESIGN LA. why stay there SHAME yourself and CAUSE PROBLEM for the team?
Maybe without you, the WORLD WILL BE BETTER for the team?
U will say u need the job? if no job who feed u? yah yah loser always thinking of who feed him / her....
than wake up lah. cry winney babies. THIS WORLD IS CRUEL. singapore is a cruel, hard place to work, survive.
no body is kind. U DIE, they are happy.
if someone left the company. everyone PUSH THEIR FAULT TO HER/HIM and make it the "BLAME KEEPER".
hmmm looks like YOU got a problem. you are projecting your personal story onto me. anyone reading your post can tell you got a stomach full of frustrations which you let out conveniently in this thread. you resemble the one who vented his anger on me out of the blue.
sometimes people do this because they are frustrated with their own life. by putting down another person, he boosts his ego which is otherwise hurt elsewhere.
for people such as him (and you), i have nothing but compassion for you.
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Originally posted by ahjenn:
last week, out of the blue, someone close scolded me non-stop for 30 min. throughout, he scolded me stupid, idiot and ridiculed me as a person and my life, like i am the worst person on earth. i just let him scold. i am amazed at my calm.
even though i was calm during the time he was scolding, his words stuck in my consciousness. the next day the feelings of sadness and hurt started to creep in. for the next three days i was depressed. i could not study, concentrate and think clearly. i was fidgety and restless. whenever i sat down and tried to do my work, tears welled up in my eyes. i felt the hurt strongly.
coincidentally the three days were crucial period leading up to a project deadline. so despite trying hard for 3 days to complete my part of the project, i could not come up with anything because i was blocked to write anything. this caused delay and inconvenience to my teammates. i feel bad but i know in my heart that i had tried my best. they all thought that i was lazy and purposely delay, but i didn't.
at work, my restlessness showed. i had difficulty making up my mind. i couldn't stick to plan. the hurtful words dwell in my mind all the time.
in spite of what people say, to ignore and let go and move on when we meet unpleasant situations such as this, it is not easy. unpleasant experiences do have an impact on us. we get affected. our work gets affected. it is not so easy to "let go, stop blaming, move on, get a life".
anyway i have decided to leave this hell hole. i no longer want such people to entrap me in a negative cycle when i spent a big part of my life trying very hard to get out of it.
I think you have allowed these people to do such things in your life far too often and frequently already.That's probably why you are finally feeling crushed from all these accumulative damages.
Maybe it's time for you to make a stand and protect your own feelings.
Nobody should be allowed to disturb your peace. Period.
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Is that someone who scold the TS her collegues?
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Originally posted by ahjenn:
hmmm looks like YOU got a problem. you are projecting your personal story onto me. anyone reading your post can tell you got a stomach full of frustrations which you let out conveniently in this thread. you resemble the one who vented his anger on me out of the blue.
sometimes people do this because they are frustrated with their own life. by putting down another person, he boosts his ego which is otherwise hurt elsewhere.
for people such as him (and you), i have nothing but compassion for you.
Interesting. Instead of replying to the various constructive replies, you chose to reply to the one whom you feel that he/she resembles that friend of yours, and projected your anger towards him. Ask yourself - does it really make you feel any better?
The reason why you're so emotionally affected by his words is that it came from a close friend, and not some madman on the street, so much that your self-esteem begins leaking away from you like air escaping a pierced balloon. You begin to struggle with the validity of what he said, whether there's any truth in his statements, and wondering you're really such an irksome person that a close friend has to say all that to you in your face. In order to escape those thoughts, you assume that your friend did that because he was hurt and was trying to make himself feel better by putting you down.
However, because it's your assumption, you're never sure if that's the cause. So those thoughts continuously haunt you, draining your energy as you try to validate yourself and your capabilities in every thing you do in order to prove what he said was wrong. You would feel uncomfortable, or even paranoid, in your daily life because every little mistake you do might prove his statements true.
All you have to do, is not to suppress those thoughts, but to go to him and calmly ask him why he had said all those things to you. Only when you know the reason, will you be able to put your mind at rest.
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two words: be professional (no matter what)
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Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Interesting. Instead of replying to the various constructive replies, you chose to reply to the one whom you feel that he/she resembles that friend of yours, and projected your anger towards him. Ask yourself - does it really make you feel any better?
The reason why you're so emotionally affected by his words is that it came from a close friend, and not some madman on the street, so much that your self-esteem begins leaking away from you like air escaping a pierced balloon. You begin to struggle with the validity of what he said, whether there's any truth in his statements, and wondering you're really such an irksome person that a close friend has to say all that to you in your face. In order to escape those thoughts, you assume that your friend did that because he was hurt and was trying to make himself feel better by putting you down.
However, because it's your assumption, you're never sure if that's the cause. So those thoughts continuously haunt you, draining your energy as you try to validate yourself and your capabilities in every thing you do in order to prove what he said was wrong. You would feel uncomfortable, or even paranoid, in your daily life because every little mistake you do might prove his statements true.
All you have to do, is not to suppress those thoughts, but to go to him and calmly ask him why he had said all those things to you. Only when you know the reason, will you be able to put your mind at rest.
PreciselyIn fact TS, I seriously think you have to go for counselling.
You can't seem to be able to control your emotions. And when people give you "feedback" you brush it off as them trying to boost their own egos or whatever. This is running away from the problem.
Their feedback may not sound nice and all, but this does not mean that it has no merits. You should learn to sieve out the constructive criticisms from the "feedback".
And if you can't, then go and find someone who can help you do so. Eg. counselors, therapists