Hi,
recently i've been really irritated by some of my church band mates. I'll start off by describing the issue i have about 1 of them 1st.
this guy is the drummer and a talented one. As a bassist myself, i should be playing along with him.
He keeps commenting my playing isn't gd enough, however, i received comments that are vice versa.
I admit that i'm not really tht gd as compared to my influences but i seriously doubt this drummer's comments as I know he's someone who's very critical and bitches on anything and everything.
I find it hard to accept his comments cause he only knows how to say something is wrong and not good but doesn't know or incapable of telling me why it's wrong or what can be done to improve. I find this like just having hot air coming out from him.
don't get me wrong here, i'm not someone who can't accept being criticised. I have a close fren who do comment on my playing but he also tells me why it's not gd and what can be done. To me, this is constructive criticism.
i would really need advise on how to handle this as i don't wish to have this brew into anything bad but also wish to get him to shut up somehow.
Thanks in advance,
redname
Normal lah, all people who go to church think they are the best in the universe.
Originally posted by ditzy:Normal lah, all people who go to church think they are the best in the universe.
but how come my close fren doesn't leh? he also in the same band.
dnt get me wrg with my answer, aren't trying to defeat anyone, jus trying to find out the real issue
Originally posted by redname:
but how come my close fren doesn't leh? he also in the same band
He's abnormal.
Maybe that drummer is one of those who thinks very highly of himself, and think music is his expertise. So, he starts to criticise, but don't give supporting reasons. These people you just ignore will do, you can shoot him back if you want =)
He's just going his rounds of doing baseless claims on you.
We view the world through our own coloured lenses. Conclusions arrived are therefore subjective. That is why you have some people telling you that you played well and vice versa. No point getting worked up about it.
What the drummer knows? Drum is the most simple instrument to play. But you as the bassist got to be in sync with the drummer. The whole band must follow his beat or else the band go off tune.
a drummer????what like a monkey with 2 sticks hitting on a drum barrel???pretty soon a monkey with cymbals would be making noise too!@
Then u ask him for constructive criticsm. Like seriously.
Tell him u are not a mind reader. Then if he insists on just being an ass, you remind him the reason why you are all here as a band. Not just a band. A church band.
I mean no doubt, talented musicians tend to want perfection. But perfection comes with practice and communications especially in a band. Given that talent is a key component here. And it does get frustrated when there is a lack of synergy. But it would equally be as cruel to tell another he got no talent. But this aint a rock band. Many musicians ... I am talking in church, forget why the are up there in the first place. Not to perform per se to your fans. But to express the music that is tied to the scriptures the message .. in simple, gloryfying your God.
As a musician, you must be able to comprehend another's limit ma. If he thinks he is so talented, I am sure its not a problem for him to slow down a bit or alter certain beats to your rythm right? You tell him that.
And those that are in the praise and worship are either volunteers, touched or something to do God's work, or just have musical skills and was asked to be part of the group.
So which one is he ?
And no doubt there definately be issues like this in most churches, hell.. in almost any kind of group. lol . If reason doesnt work with him, you try being more bible. If all else fails.. just ignore his ass.
If he insist on being like that, he will leave himself one. lol
Just give him some room to wiggle around. Dont corner him too much when you confront him. Cause I am sure your intention is to have everyone be in synergy.
Originally posted by redname:Hi,
recently i've been really irritated by some of my church band mates. I'll start off by describing the issue i have about 1 of them 1st.
this guy is the drummer and a talented one. As a bassist myself, i should be playing along with him.
He keeps commenting my playing isn't gd enough, however, i received comments that are vice versa.
I admit that i'm not really tht gd as compared to my influences but i seriously doubt this drummer's comments as I know he's someone who's very critical and bitches on anything and everything.
I find it hard to accept his comments cause he only knows how to say something is wrong and not good but doesn't know or incapable of telling me why it's wrong or what can be done to improve. I find this like just having hot air coming out from him.
don't get me wrong here, i'm not someone who can't accept being criticised. I have a close fren who do comment on my playing but he also tells me why it's not gd and what can be done. To me, this is constructive criticism.
i would really need advise on how to handle this as i don't wish to have this brew into anything bad but also wish to get him to shut up somehow.
Thanks in advance,
redname
So what his response is when you asked about how you could improve? Or did you even ask him about it?
Originally posted by Macho Man:What the drummer knows? Drum is the most simple instrument to play. But you as the bassist got to be in sync with the drummer. The whole band must follow his beat or else the band go off tune.
The most simple instrument to play? You played too much Rock Band.
Originally posted by Macho Man:What the drummer knows? Drum is the most simple instrument to play. But you as the bassist got to be in sync with the drummer. The whole band must follow his beat or else the band go off tune.
You only take part in funeral bands is it.
Hmmm I think it just sounds like you don't like people to talk crap about you, especially things that are baseless.
I wouldn't exactly call it an issue. Nobody likes it man, you aren't the only one. I hate it myself. I don't like to be insulted for no reason, especially by friends. Unless you manage to achieve perfect harmony in your own soul, idiots like that will definitely get to you somehow. You say that he's the kind who bitches a lot, i think it's obvious he just wants attention and is insecure about himself, hence he takes it out on others.
But hey, chill yeah? Empty vessals always make the most noise. Next time if he runs his mouth off just scold him back. People like that damn good at talking shit, but the moment they are faced with some form of confrontation or adversity, they CONFIRM cower down.
May it be u only take and accept comments from ur "best friend" ? u maybe biased and thinks lowly of your drum mate here, (according to what i'm reading) well i maybe wrong, but well good luck with your church band thing.
something out of topic...i dunno axs machine can make donation to church leh! saw a lady making donation and i was like...WHAT?why did she do that? lolx sorry no offence~
Originally posted by redname:Hi,
recently i've been really irritated by some of my church band mates. I'll start off by describing the issue i have about 1 of them 1st.
this guy is the drummer and a talented one. As a bassist myself, i should be playing along with him.
He keeps commenting my playing isn't gd enough, however, i received comments that are vice versa.
I admit that i'm not really tht gd as compared to my influences but i seriously doubt this drummer's comments as I know he's someone who's very critical and bitches on anything and everything.
I find it hard to accept his comments cause he only knows how to say something is wrong and not good but doesn't know or incapable of telling me why it's wrong or what can be done to improve. I find this like just having hot air coming out from him.
don't get me wrong here, i'm not someone who can't accept being criticised. I have a close fren who do comment on my playing but he also tells me why it's not gd and what can be done. To me, this is constructive criticism.
i would really need advise on how to handle this as i don't wish to have this brew into anything bad but also wish to get him to shut up somehow.
Thanks in advance,
redname
Why don't you assured this drummer that you will do better next time?
Ask him to pray for you too.
The important question here is, Why do you choose to play for your church? You can also ask him the same question and observe his answer for yourself.
Either way, there is so much both of you can learn from each other.
Originally posted by LatecomerX:So what his response is when you asked about how you could improve? Or did you even ask him about it?
I play the electric guitar, I should know better. The most simplest instrument to play is the drum. Don't need much skill, only need to practice and know how to go for the beat. Here is the hierarchy of importance in the band:
1) Singer
2) Electric guitar
3) Bass guitar
4) Secondary electric guitarist
5) Drummer
6) Back up singers
Originally posted by Macho Man:What the drummer knows? Drum is the most simple instrument to play. But you as the bassist got to be in sync with the drummer. The whole band must follow his beat or else the band go off tune.
neh, i wldn't go into who's instrument is more impt, harder to play etc... it's a band, everyone is impt but about following beat, actually it's bassist tht the band shld be follow cause he/she actually is able to control the rhythm, tempo and chord changes, this is provided the bassist is stable
Originally posted by BadzMaro:Then u ask him for constructive criticsm. Like seriously.
Tell him u are not a mind reader. Then if he insists on just being an ass, you remind him the reason why you are all here as a band. Not just a band. A church band.
I mean no doubt, talented musicians tend to want perfection. But perfection comes with practice and communications especially in a band. Given that talent is a key component here. And it does get frustrated when there is a lack of synergy. But it would equally be as cruel to tell another he got no talent. But this aint a rock band. Many musicians ... I am talking in church, forget why the are up there in the first place. Not to perform per se to your fans. But to express the music that is tied to the scriptures the message .. in simple, gloryfying your God.
As a musician, you must be able to comprehend another's limit ma. If he thinks he is so talented, I am sure its not a problem for him to slow down a bit or alter certain beats to your rythm right? You tell him that.
And those that are in the praise and worship are either volunteers, touched or something to do God's work, or just have musical skills and was asked to be part of the group.
So which one is he ?
And no doubt there definately be issues like this in most churches, hell.. in almost any kind of group. lol . If reason doesnt work with him, you try being more bible. If all else fails.. just ignore his ass.
If he insist on being like that, he will leave himself one. lol
Just give him some room to wiggle around. Dont corner him too much when you confront him. Cause I am sure your intention is to have everyone be in synergy.
i'll try my best to be patient with him as i do find most of wat u mention very true.
I'm more of a person that will ignore things or pple rather than confront them basically for the reason that i wish to be more laid back and dnt wanna get too worked out on things
Originally posted by LatecomerX:So what his response is when you asked about how you could improve? Or did you even ask him about it?
he keeps gng ard the bush, saying things like "u go listen to those gd bassist and hear how they play".
it's not helpful at all, those bassist he mentioned is like international stars leh, if i can play like tht then i wldn't be stuck here surfing the forums in the office. I wld be pursuing my dream as a musician
Originally posted by Extract:May it be u only take and accept comments from ur "best friend" ? u maybe biased and thinks lowly of your drum mate here, (according to what i'm reading) well i maybe wrong, but well good luck with your church band thing.
Originally posted by redname:
he keeps gng ard the bush, saying things like "u go listen to those gd bassist and hear how they play".
it's not helpful at all, those bassist he mentioned is like international stars leh, if i can play like tht then i wldn't be stuck here surfing the forums in the office. I wld be pursuing my dream as a musician
Hmm...he probably had something in mind but was afraid to say it out because he might be wrong. Try to get him to sit down and listen to you playing and have him to pinpoint out what he thinks are mistakes. If he doesn't agree or can't be bothered, then just ask him to stop whining about your play.
Cheer up. Some of those popular musicians also held full-time jobs before they got famous, and you never know when your turn would be. Just keep doing what you love.
Originally posted by Macho Man:
I play the electric guitar, I should know better. The most simplest instrument to play is the drum. Don't need much skill, only need to practice and know how to go for the beat. Here is the hierarchy of importance in the band:1) Singer
2) Electric guitar
3) Bass guitar
4) Secondary electric guitarist
5) Drummer
6) Back up singers
Don't say about who is more important or what. If you say that playing the drum do not need much skills, then I think your concept of music is really very wrong. Please check your facts before you say such things, undermining people's years of practicing the drum.
TS, no matter how talented he is at playing percussion instruments, the instrument you are playing is not his area of expertise. Compared to that percussionist, you have handled your instrument for I presume, quite some time, and would definitely be more aware on the knowledge of your own instrument. If that is the case, why should you let someone who does not know very well abt the instrument criticise you?
By trodding on your playing, this person could have sense your threat in the band, and decides to trample on your playing techniques, and ultimately, your ego and confidence in the instrument. But be aware of difference between constructive criticism and baseless accusations. One is good, the other not.
So if you know that you lack in some area, seek advice from someone who specialise or have experience in playing the instrument. It should not be coming from a percussionist who have no idea what he is talking about. As to how to shut that fella up, ask him to play the your bass guitar, double bass or whatever bass instruments you are handling and show you an example of what is good. If unable to do it, ask him to shut up and stick to practicing his own drum.
Originally posted by Phantomnite:Don't say about who is more important or what. If you say that playing the drum do not need much skills, then I think your concept of music is really very wrong. Please check your facts before you say such things, undermining people's years of practicing the drum.
TS, no matter how talented he is at playing percussion instruments, the instrument you are playing is not his area of expertise. Compared to that percussionist, you have handled your instrument for I presume, quite some time, and would definitely be more aware on the knowledge of your own instrument. If that is the case, why should you let someone who does not know very well abt the instrument criticise you?
By trodding on your playing, this person could have sense your threat in the band, and decides to trample on your playing techniques, and ultimately, your ego and confidence in the instrument. But be aware of difference between constructive criticism and baseless accusations. One is good, the other not.
So if you know that you lack in some area, seek advice from someone who specialise or have experience in playing the instrument. It should not be coming from a percussionist who have no idea what he is talking about. As to how to shut that fella up, ask him to play the your bass guitar, double bass or whatever bass instruments you are handling and show you an example of what is good. If unable to do it, ask him to shut up and stick to practicing his own drum.
I know the drum is easier because my electric guitar music teacher also teaches the drum as well. He told me so. You don't need to be a specialist to tell that it is easier. It is common sense.
Then i ask you yesterday the philippines SWAT botch up rescue of the 13 hong kong tourist, in your judgement was incompetent? Don't need a genuis to see that. 7 hostages killed, fat SWAT police failed to break through the window and gave the hostage taker ample time to kill his victims. You need to be an army commando to tell that it was an incompetent operation?
Originally posted by redname:
neh, i wldn't go into who's instrument is more impt, harder to play etc... it's a band, everyone is impt but about following beat, actually it's bassist tht the band shld be follow cause he/she actually is able to control the rhythm, tempo and chord changes, this is provided the bassist is stable
but sometimes hard to listen to the bassist, drum more easier to follow.