Do you prefer to be Positive or Negative?
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Do you prefer to be with people filled with negativity (angry, bitter, fearful, suspicious, greedy, pessimistic, selfish, unforgiving, cruel, always complaining, closed), or those filled with positivity (joyful, happy, loving, optimistic, trusting, compassionate, forgiving, open)? Which side do your friends and bf/gf/spouse fall under? Are you happy with your life the way it is now? Will you be happy in future, if your life remains exactly the way it is now?
If not, then try being truly honest with yourself, and ask yourself: which side (positive/negative) are you closer to? Few people are exactly in the middle, so no point fooling ourselves. Do you prefer to be a more positive person, or remain a negative person for life?
We are all responsible for our own lives, whether we lead joyful or miserable lives, fulfilling or meaningless lives. We all have the power in our minds and hearts to choose the type of lives we really want for ourselves, and it begins with whether we are willing to change ourselves first. We cannot expect to have a happy and fulfilling life, when we ourselves are filled with negativity.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
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i wun say im pessimistic or everyday worry sky falling down
but oso not exactly the optimistic happy-go-lucky kind
i think im simply............ bochup
makes life a lot easier
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I would say i'm more of a pragmatist, perhaps leaning a bit more to the negative side to be brutally honest.
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Positive and Negative applies more to pessimistic people and less to every day lives. For everyday folks like me, the challenges and opportunities lay not in how positive I think about myself but how my everyday environment is. Of course, our positive perception about ourselves does a lot of good but usually we are hindered by other people in our work environment, our relationships and our everyday lifes. Truth betold, BAD people do exist in our lifes. We can have people in the office who back stabs and cause us a lot of headache. Perhaps we have a brother who gambles a lot and borrow a lot of money from the family. Or we may even be married to our spouse who is very demanding and argue a lot with us. Positive Power can only go so far. Question is, what is Positive Power? Is it thinking how great we feel, while in the office somebody takes the credit for our work and yet we still sit down there quietly thinking positive? Our spirits and souls can only go so far, if we continue to bluff ourselves with Positive Power...our self esteem will start to hurt. Therefore WISDOM is needed to govern our decisions and grace. We can go out there and fight for our existence and our work effort in the office or we can choose to quit the job and hope to get a greenier job on the other side.
Just how far Positive Power can get you? If you have a very troublesome spouse who cannot agree on you on every single decision or she is so demanding that she wants you to buy the best property in sg when you can't afford it. Just think about that.
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I prefer to be with people who are positive...
I am a firm believer in introspection to understand myself a little better to be a better bear...
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i prefer chewren
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actually depends also...both positive and negative thinking have advantageous effects. if not why some people play reverse psychology...one simple example.
"eat, eat some more. then just become like tat lady over there. pregnant 5months."
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Originally posted by PedoBear:
i prefer chewren
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Originally posted by FireIce:
i wun say im pessimistic or everyday worry sky falling down
but oso not exactly the optimistic happy-go-lucky kind
i think im simply............ bochup
makes life a lot easier
Though you often joke about your age, but I personally feel you're still young, as it's common for young people to feel bochup in Singapore, since complete freedom is not possible here. But if somehow, for whatever reasons, you suddenly find yourself with much more freedom than you have now, will you want to do things that give you greater happiness and fulfillment than now?Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
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Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
I would say i'm more of a pragmatist, perhaps leaning a bit more to the negative side to be brutally honest.
It's a positive virtue to be brutally honest! :) Too many people hide under masks.
Being totally logical and practical, and living entirely to society's standards and expectations will generally cause us to lean towards negativity. If everyone gives up our own pursuit of happiness and fulfillment for the sake of the "greater good", it makes it easier for 'management purpose', under the myth that anyone who stands out from the crowd is a troublemaker.
However, if we're willing to take a risk, and try being happy and fulfilled as much as we can, the end result is actually a far more uplifted population! We walk down Shenton Way or Raffles Place on a weekday, and we can barely find a truly happy soul. If we can't live happily, how can our bf/gf/spouse/child expect to be happy, when we're always filled with feelings of negativity?
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
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It's only natural to prefer to hang out with a positive thinker, rather than a negative one.
However, I choose to keep close to a variety of people with different mindsets. In that way, you'll always have a good plethora of opinions to hear out and ponder over.
Personally, I'm a partial cynic, but my mentality doesn't deviate too far from "prepare for the worst and hope for the best".
More of a 'realist', rather than optimist or pessimist, per se.
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Originally posted by Hugh Hefner:
Positive and Negative applies more to pessimistic people and less to every day lives. For everyday folks like me, the challenges and opportunities lay not in how positive I think about myself but how my everyday environment is. Of course, our positive perception about ourselves does a lot of good but usually we are hindered by other people in our work environment, our relationships and our everyday lifes. Truth betold, BAD people do exist in our lifes. We can have people in the office who back stabs and cause us a lot of headache. Perhaps we have a brother who gambles a lot and borrow a lot of money from the family. Or we may even be married to our spouse who is very demanding and argue a lot with us. Positive Power can only go so far. Question is, what is Positive Power? Is it thinking how great we feel, while in the office somebody takes the credit for our work and yet we still sit down there quietly thinking positive? Our spirits and souls can only go so far, if we continue to bluff ourselves with Positive Power...our self esteem will start to hurt. Therefore WISDOM is needed to govern our decisions and grace. We can go out there and fight for our existence and our work effort in the office or we can choose to quit the job and hope to get a greenier job on the other side.
Just how far Positive Power can get you? If you have a very troublesome spouse who cannot agree on you on every single decision or she is so demanding that she wants you to buy the best property in sg when you can't afford it. Just think about that.
True that Life is not so simple. Life is very complex, and involves many factors.
From what you've shared, common frustrations stem mostly from people around us and our work enviroment. That's true, especially in S'pore, where people are conditioned to 'live to work'. It's all about personal choice. Are we fine with the way things are? Often, people are so sick of their jobs, but stay in it, for purely security reasons, to avoid taking risk. But if somehow, for whatever reasons, job security no longer applies, and most companies cannot guarantee long-term employment for staff, will people then choose to work in a job that they truly enjoy?
Regarding people we don't enjoy being around with, if we cannot avoid it completely, we have a choice to minimise contact, or not be "too attached" with the interaction. When we are "too attached", we tend to place too much negative emotions on the interaction with the people we don't enjoy company with.
Emotions is the key here. We can choose to have positive emotions (ideally), detached (neutral) or negative emotions (most unfavourable case). If we can remain detached when dealing with someone we have conflicts with, we won't get as negatively affected, as when we stir up negative emotions within us.
If the person we don't enjoy being with is a bf/gf/spouse, because of their negative traits, why then did we choose to be with them in the first place? Should they be also thinking of improving themselves, to improve the relationship? :)
At the end of the day, we all have the power to choose. Giving up that personal power results in us living a life that we don't want.
Rainbown Jigsaw of Life
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Originally posted by Dejomel:
It's only natural to prefer to hang out with a positive thinker, rather than a negative one.
However, I choose to keep close to a variety of people with different mindsets. In that way, you'll always have a good plethora of opinions to hear out and ponder over.
Personally, I'm a partial cynic, but my mentality doesn't deviate too far from "prepare for the worst and hope for the best".
More of a 'realist', rather than optimist or pessimist, per se.
Of course, planning for worst case scenarios is required, but there are people who focus too much on the negative outcomes, and that can cause it to eventually happen. This is not easy to explain, but it happens, to a certain extent. That's why when we're driving, we're expected to look towards our destination, not keep looking at the kerb or the other car, else we'll really end up hitting them.
Being overly focused on negative outcomes, we end up building a wall around us, to protect us from what we are afraid will happen. But ironically, this same wall very often also keeps out the good outcomes.
Planning for worst case scenarios will only be effective if we're able to anticipate well enough. However, if somehow, for whatever reasons, worst case scenarios are far worse than what anyone has ever planned for, how will people cope when that happens? Then, it boils down to optimism and positivity that can propel people forward to overcome whatever obstacles there are. In our current society, when outcomes are far worse than anticipated, and seem totally unmanageable, many people just break down.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
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negative also become self fulfilling, so better not be negative. Think on the bright side is always better
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Answering yr original post... i am more close to the negative side... i am a pessimistic person... to me, i do not believe i have the faith that i can do well in my studies even though i am pursuing a degree... i just dun feel that i shld belong to uni or i should say i believe that entering uni is a stroke of luck for me... i know there are many people who want to go in yet cannot... but i couldn't help wondering if i am capable or not...
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I personally feel that being positive may not be a total good thing. As much as I do not deny the benefits of being positive, I feel that being positive may sometimes lead to more disappointments. Life isn't at all smooth sailing. If you pin your hopes up for everything, you are bound to get disappointed for some things. On the contrary if you stay negative, life may just be full of surprises for you.
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Originally posted by FireIce:
i wun say im pessimistic or everyday worry sky falling down
but oso not exactly the optimistic happy-go-lucky kind
i think im simply............ bochup
makes life a lot easier
I think you got no life that is why you become bochup
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being realistic is a necessary part of survival ... it does not denote pessimism or optimism..but rather seeing the world as it is...and the real techniques to stay ahead..
hordes of positive thinking books are past like kindergarten fairy tales....though i read them at times for humor...
as like the baby owl in the jungle ads....this winter he must learn to catch his next meal...if he doesn't, he will die of starvation...
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bochup is a good way to avoid the unnecessary...which is one of the important skills needed to survive as well....
lol
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Of coz prefer to be with positive ppl la
Why would I wanna be with ppl who would constantly dampen my mood?
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Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
I would say i'm more of a pragmatist, perhaps leaning a bit more to the negative side to be brutally honest.
I would be similar.... definitely more negative.Kind Regards
Genie
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Of coz prefer to be with positive ppl la
Why would I wanna be with ppl who would constantly dampen my mood?
Being with negative people wont neccessarily dampen your mood lar lol.Negative people tend to be more realistic as they think about negative outcomes before moving a step and therefore are good people to talk with if you need for eg. a reality check.
Kind Regards
Genie
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Originally posted by Genie99a:
Being with negative people wont neccessarily dampen your mood lar lol.Negative people tend to be more realistic as they think about negative outcomes before moving a step and therefore are good people to talk with if you need for eg. a reality check.
Kind Regards
Genie
It depends on the person, if he/she is able to use the chance to reflect on him/herself when he/she is with negative people and is able to uplift them, then its a good thing. Most importantly he/she must not be easily influenced.
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Originally posted by Rainbow Jigsaw:
True that Life is not so simple. Life is very complex, and involves many factors.
From what you've shared, common frustrations stem mostly from people around us and our work enviroment. That's true, especially in S'pore, where people are conditioned to 'live to work'. It's all about personal choice. Are we fine with the way things are? Often, people are so sick of their jobs, but stay in it, for purely security reasons, to avoid taking risk. But if somehow, for whatever reasons, job security no longer applies, and most companies cannot guarantee long-term employment for staff, will people then choose to work in a job that they truly enjoy?
Regarding people we don't enjoy being around with, if we cannot avoid it completely, we have a choice to minimise contact, or not be "too attached" with the interaction. When we are "too attached", we tend to place too much negative emotions on the interaction with the people we don't enjoy company with.
Emotions is the key here. We can choose to have positive emotions (ideally), detached (neutral) or negative emotions (most unfavourable case). If we can remain detached when dealing with someone we have conflicts with, we won't get as negatively affected, as when we stir up negative emotions within us.
If the person we don't enjoy being with is a bf/gf/spouse, because of their negative traits, why then did we choose to be with them in the first place? Should they be also thinking of improving themselves, to improve the relationship? :)
At the end of the day, we all have the power to choose. Giving up that personal power results in us living a life that we don't want.
Rainbown Jigsaw of Life
I wish life is so easy but there is no clear cut rules. Decisions differ depending on the individual and the environement he or she is facing. You're right about we having the right to choose but the choice itself can be devastating. Some people stick to their jobs even if they hate it because they have no where else to go. They could be lacking proper qualifications or working in the job they don't like while trying to gain or acquire skills by attending night school so that they can change their jobs in the future. I have known a friend who taken temp jobs and many other jobs for the past 5 years, she already changed 10 jobs but she is still not satisfied. Staying and taking the heat doesn't mean it is a stupid decision, not unless the person decides to stay for a while so that he or she can weigh a better decision instead of rushing from a hot pot of boiliing water to a frying pan.It is not as easy being POSITIVE all the time. What if we are married to a negative spouse, she is always demanding, negative and make rash decisions all the time? Sometimes, after marriage, a woman can change and the person we used to love suddenly turn into our biggest nightmare. We cannot just leave the family with kids like that. I known an uncle whose wife suddenly became demon possessed and she became crazy and paranoid, started blaming him for all her problems. The children was scred of their mom. She had to take her medication and go for shock therapy. Her negavitiy was taking the strain from my uncle's life. Sometimes my uncle feel discouraged and depressed as the children as lost their motherly figure as their mom descend into madness.
Or what about my company plant manager, a British guy who newly transfer from UK 6 months ago. He said he was so positive and confident that he was going to turnaround the people in my company. He was successful in his homeland because fo the working culture there. But in Malaysia (by the way I am an expat from SG) the plant workers are known for their laziness, lack of initiative and always fighting against reforms. They gave him a lot of trouble like sabotaging the lines. He scolded them many times but yet the products delivered to customers kept on repeating its defects. Customers were angry. The plant manager tried all sorts of reforms, implementing new methods but nobody was supporting them because of the racial cohorting against him. He could not take any action because the Big Boss supported some influential players in the company. In the end, his power was limited and Big Boss (trying to play to the tune of the influential players in the company) overided him. In a span of a few months, I saw all his positive power flow down to negativity. He used to come into the office wishing everyone good morning and telling everyon he can do it. But now, he just keep quiet in his room and go about his time. People in the office just ignore him because they don;t like his policies. Positive Power is it as easy as ABC?
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Originally posted by blurking123:
Answering yr original post... i am more close to the negative side... i am a pessimistic person... to me, i do not believe i have the faith that i can do well in my studies even though i am pursuing a degree... i just dun feel that i shld belong to uni or i should say i believe that entering uni is a stroke of luck for me... i know there are many people who want to go in yet cannot... but i couldn't help wondering if i am capable or not...
What is considered "capable" to you? Getting best grades in uni? Earning the most money? Owning the most expensive car/house? Hearing your friends and family calling you "capable"? :)
We often live our lives to please others, to live up to others' expectations, at the expense of our own happiness and real dreams. We may dream of being an artist, which we know we'll do well in, and be very happy doing. But because others say it's a "lousy job with no prospects", according to their definitions of being "capable", we give up our desired path, and do what others expect us to do. And that's why many people end up so frustrated in their current paths, because they're walking paths not of their choice, but of others' expectations.
Since you're in uni, just try your best at getting the degree. But also consider what will you do best in, and happiest in, after you graduate. Having an engineering degree doesn't mean one has to be an engineer all his life. :)
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life