I've a GF now but...

|ost^|n^|ov3

10 Apr 03, 22:34

Hi guys... need some advice on wad i shld do... things r like tis.. i broke off wif my ex about 6 mths ago... after breaking off wif her i got to know tis gal and after approx. 1 mth i gone steady wif her... for the first few weeks i was feeling really great thinking"wow! tis gal really loves me alot" and tt is the fact.. i can see that she really cares for me and loves me alot. Well.. the problem comes in here... i still can't forget bout my ex~! it's already been like 5 mths since i went stead wif this gal but the memories of my ex keeps on coming back... i've told myself not to think bout her anymore... but i guess tt memories r 4eva... i know tt i really love my stead... but on the other hand i oso love my ex alot... i know by having tis sort of feelings i'm really letting my stead down... i've tried to bring myself into breaking up with her... but to see her sad is something i really dun wanna do. there's another thing... although i love my stead but there are some actions tt she does tt either pisses me off or tt i can't accept. When she does tis sort of things the memories of my ex will hit me even harder.. and make me even more eager to get back wif my ex( which is impossible ) ... I'm now trying my very best to spend time wif my stead so as to totally forget bout my ex... any advice from u guys? thanks in advance..

sgboy2004

10 Apr 03, 22:44

do u think u hav a future wif your ex? U said no leh...

treasure wat u have... if u continue to compare... sorry to say, the rest of your life, u will be single and alone then...

so brudder, treasure your stead...ok

_______________
Baby sgboy2004

cHeR|sH^LoVe

10 Apr 03, 22:46

time heal all wounds.. 6 months.. is a short time to foget someone u love.. who have left u... too shot a time.. u need more time.. well.. between u n ur current stead.... which one u love more.. i think there should be one.. how can one person love 2 person... memories of ur ex keeps coming back.. think about it.. is ur stead a substitute... if she is.. it would be unfair .. u c...
u cannot bring urself to break up.. which means u considered a breakup.. so i guess u have been deciding for some time to break up.. well u cannot bring to break coz u are afraid to see her sad... think abt it.. if thats the case.. u are cheating her feelings.. ur feelings too.. ending up both getting more hurt... if u really dun wan her sad.. let her know the truth.... if not she "yue xian yue shen"..
and wad does ur gf do thats pisses u off.. if u dun like.. just tell her.. i am sure there will be a solution..
think carefully what u actuallly want.. ur ex or ur stead..
cheer up ba...

Cerebral_Assassin

10 Apr 03, 22:53

basically, u gone too early into a R/S after u broke up so no doubt u have this type of feeling...
it is better to love some1 then to be loved, unless u prefer to do the giving all the time. is your ex your 1st love?
your stead do things that piss u off, but if your ex do that, does it pisses u off too, so y the unfairness to your stead and u think of her instead? is it because missing makes the heart grow fonder?(this sentence is very true for me)
i think u love your ex very much because u 2 have been thru a lot in life, u haven't even spent much on your stead now so how can u compare the two now?
sgboy2004 is rite. treasure your stead

sLaYeRgEr

10 Apr 03, 22:55

to ask u to forget ur ex is impossible... but no matter wat u must treasure ur girl now... to keep on thinking of ur ex is really DAMN unfair to ur gf leh... but dun force urself not to think of ur ex cos it will make u think more.. just let nature take it course lo..
just treasure what u have now.. if u dun u will regret in future
i'm sure u dun go steady w ur girl bcos u wanna forget ur ex.... but u love her den u wan be w her right?? so treasure her !!

Cerebral_Assassin

10 Apr 03, 23:00

1 more thing brudder.......
if u have chosen to break up, plz do it fast and nicely.
think of your stead's feelings.....the more u drag this thing, the harder it'll get to her when u ask 4 the break.
u yourself have been thru it so bear this in mind

vksg

10 Apr 03, 23:11

You should make up your mind. If you have already break off with your ex-gf, you should treasure your current gf. If you really can't forget her and feel that you can't accept your current gf, you should tell her fast if not it will hurt her more in the end. The problem is that you are not decisive enough, so please make up your mind. Good luck.

rgds
vksg

Yunhaier

11 Apr 03, 01:46

Dear |ost,

About to sleep, but when I saw your post, decide to reply this before I slumber into a deep rest for the day. (Btw: I have a good friend cum disciple nickname |ost too, which brew this affinity in me and the urge to reply you. Twisted Evil

)

Break off with ex that lasted for 6 months and went with another girl you know barely 1 month? Seriously speaking, even though you don't wish to hear, I will say: I have never encounter a relation that lasted after a recent break and a sudden union with another girl/guy. Know why? Rolling Eyes

2 Reasons:

I) Your mind and soul longs for the positive aspects of love. You feel the desire to be loved and love in return. To feeling of someone being there for you, the comfortability in dependancy, etc - and most importantly: the fear of walking alone, venturing life into the bleak future. (You said you feeling really great thinking wow! tis gal really loves me alot, etc) Rolling Eyes

II) Subconsciously, you are sourcing your ex in *HER* (your present gf). You are looking for qualities that you find in her and sadly, certain elements ain't there (You said some actions, etc pissed you off) and you long for your ex emotionally. You know what is happening? There are some points about your present gf that your ex doesn't have in the past and you wished that she is 'like that'. You found it, but the other variables ain't kept constant. Rolling Eyes

Everyone is unique. I can tell you, there is absolutely no way you could go on with another girl you know less than 1 month after a prior relationship of half a year and CLAIM that you love her without having the past to haunt you. You are comparing these two ladies - which in fact belongs to two different era of your life. Rolling Eyes

You made a criticial mistake - which is to enter into this relation hastily. In reality, there are alot of confusions, delusions, misunderstanding, etc yet to be solve - despite all these discrepancy, you chose to enter. I am not saying you can't be with this good woman, because the problem lies with yourself.

What is left to do? Rolling Eyes

Take a small break to be with yourself and reflect. You haven't been giving yourself ample rest, thus all these problems started to surface unneccessarily. Tell your present gf to give you some time to ponder and think. Then do lots of soul searching and your love priority, definition, standards and goals. Rolling Eyes

Finally after you come to a conclusion: swear and make heed never to compare these two ladies again. Think and sort through what you have to sort through during this short period and vow to move on with your life. You are like a boat stuck in the middle of the ocean, with no direction and moving aimlessly around - totally no sight of any visible land. Rolling Eyes

P.S: Time change, people change, money talk. Your ex by now, may not be the same 'ex' you knew months back. She would have grown, matured and moved on. You are the only one left behind; holding yourself back. Rolling Eyes

Cheers

p0ppy

11 Apr 03, 02:17

hiya...

hmm... can u ask ur self this question... if given another chance.... u know u won't be able to forget ur ex even after breaking up for 6 mths already... will u still go into a relationship with her knowing u will be lost now? will u? if u said u won't... then u dun wanna face the hurt that is entering ur heart now... well... maybe u dun luv her? or even hate her... but i guess ur answers will be yes ba? hmm.. not too sure... well... having memories is better than nothing rite? at least now u know which type of gals u like ma... go for those types lor...eg. ur ex very very sweet and caring... ur current maybe not so sweet and caring... so u know wat type u can go for... choose carefully before u anter a relationship... if u really dun like this current one... dun drag any of her time anymore... let her go and find her real happiness... someone who really luvs her... and not treating her only as a 'company'.... face loneliness urself.. and serach for the one u luv...
cheers

ZecHs

11 Apr 03, 04:31

i'll make it short and simple 4 u

wats gone is gone
u and ur ex r history. . and histroy never relives itself
currently u have a gf dat luvs u...good..treasure her
it aint worth it to lose her and cant make it back to ur ex rite?

good relationships r hard to come by alreadi. . treasure them well

haiz....lookin ard..i've realised y r there so many relationships dat r goin so smoothly..yet. . . 4 my case? haiz

finally juz treasure her k?

Transmission

11 Apr 03, 04:49

treasure what you have now ...
you won't regret ..

u break off with your stead now ...and go back with you ex?
Fine...
someday down the road ...you'll realise your mistake.

Neutral

jeramy

11 Apr 03, 08:36

wah disciple? what u teach man?

Devil1976

11 Apr 03, 11:54

The PAST is in the PAST....

The FUTURE is IN YOUR HANDS....

"Treasure whatever you've got.... Nobody's perfect...."

kim_hwoarang

11 Apr 03, 12:26

both also attack, like tat shiok wat ! hee
Mr. Green

misakichi

11 Apr 03, 17:53

to be loved is a fortune, to love is a pain.

Knowing that someone will always be there for u regardless of watever happen is something u will always look forward to.
Since u have made a decision by leaving ur ex, u should put the past bhind u n look at the present and the future.Do not let the past drag u down.
Memories are meant to be there and not to be forgotten but it shouldnt be the factor that is affecting ur current relationship. No one will knoe how long u would take to forget ur ex as different pple are strong emotionally and some are not.
But nevertheless, do not let ur current gf down.

aHGer^83

11 Apr 03, 18:13

cherish wad u ahve now...dun regret...wad past had past...no pt brooding over it
do wad u deem fit is rite...we cant tell u wad to do or wad not to do...whether u wanna heed the advise...is up to u... Wink

old_oredi

11 Apr 03, 19:03

erm I think maybe u don't love ur current gf enough... or maybe she is not the right one for u. if u have chosen her instead of ur the other ex gf.. u should have decided long ago not to compare the two of them and "find faults" with the current one. By getting easily irritated by some actions of the current gf, she will sense it too and i guess this relationship will not last long..

Just be fair to ur new gf and hope u make up ur mind as to who u want... decide on who u think of most when u are bored, or perhaps who do u feel like talking to most when something happy/sad happens.... of coz, the gf whom u are most comfortable wif when u are out wif her is a determining factor too. Most importantly be happy and give the gf that u have chosen happiness too...

dun dilly dally and let the situation drag till a few years then u decide ur current gf is not suitable for u. good luck! Very Happy

Yunhaier

11 Apr 03, 22:03

No lar... its just a status, not really something I teach. Well, he was undergoing this really rough patch in his life and I sort of there for him as a good friend lor. Just like when you acknowledge people as your kor/mei, in reality, there ain't related to you right. Idea

jeramy

12 Apr 03, 10:51

then does he call you "SHI FU" everytime he sees you? hahhaha Mr. Green

garylin

12 Apr 03, 11:14

yup totally agree. treasure the relationship that u have now or else u will regret

@lvin

17 Apr 03, 18:43

oh man.. i pity your steady.......... wat a lousy guy u r.....

in the first place, if u cannot forget your ex, y accept your current steady?.............

y ppl like u k change gf n still think of your ex..... shd had let u be in a stituation like me.. wait 4 a girl 4 2 years n still get reject..

life's unfair huh?...... Rolling Eyes

dumbdumb!

20 Apr 03, 05:43

blah, why even try to forget? its not like she was a nightmare mah, she might be a nice person but just not meant for u. treasure that person, and the memories lor, its not being unfaithful. its being forgiving.

john hunter

20 Apr 03, 12:37

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.
One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Yunhaier

21 Apr 03, 02:07

For fun yes... Twisted Evil

For serious, hell no. Twisted Evil

Arai^ger

21 Apr 03, 11:40

cum on la..... in the 1st place u shdnt have broke up wif ur ex if u reali love her.... secondly, u stead wif ur present gf not long after u broke off wif ur ex.... of coz u will feel tat u like ur ex and think of her etc.... in the other hand, u shdnt have stead wif ur present gf soooo fast, coz ppl need time to forget thing.....