lousy father
-
x
-
Lousy father, lousy Son
-
start talking
-
As Pillow said, COMMUNICATION lah.....
-
wait till you hear about my father............thank god he's dead............
how not to be a lousy father?...................don't have any kids...........
-
Love comes from downward , hardly upward
your fathers do love you guys only you dun see it.
many fathers dun show their affection or maybe they didnt know how to
I didnt know my father till that night he died.
ask yourself, what have u done for him?
-
I used to view my father negatively as well, but come to realise that for them, providing the basics is sufficient to fullfill their role as fathers. Caring and love, that's the duty of the mother and siblings.
This mentality changes in fatherhood as general level of comfot increases, so instead of grinding to provide the basics, people want to shower their youngs with luxuries, treating the children like how they want to be treated when growing up.
Of course, attributes displayed by previous fathers like being easily angered and quick to raise the hand, can sometime emerge from yourself, so I think self-control is key.
On the other hand, some parents think they're ideal parents when in fact, by "forcing" their children to excel in everything, learn the arts and what not, are actually forcing their projections on their children, which is another different story. Same goes for pampering the children, which leads rise to the many unsightly and unruly young people these days.
-
Draca, I dunno about your family's situation for exactly for sure but your father has given all of you food on the table for so many years. To your father, that may be his form of love and probably the only thing someone from his generation / family background is capable of expressing.
Everyone has a different language of love. And your father's way of making sure all of you grow up properly is to rein you all in with force and threats. Now that you have all grown up, perhaps it's time to make the first move and start loving him back.
After all, no point talking to him the day he goes six feet under. That's when you will really regret. Ever heard the song "Cats in the Cradle"? You were once a cat in his cradle but none of you are willing to spend time with him now.
Disregard if I'm wrong. Tks :)
-
I think there are parenting courses available.
If you think that you MIGHT become like your father and you really don't want that. Then you should sign up for these courses. If I'm not wrong you'll be able to gain alot of information about how to provide the best care for your kid, and be able to avoid making horrible parenting mistakes.
-
my father, same situation, now my whole family don't talk to him. He went to his brother and cry(yes literally), then his brother(my uncle) come ask me why i so bastard child.
whose father lousier LMAO, liddat also complain knn.
-
Originally posted by Rock^Star:
Draca, I dunno about your family's situation for exactly for sure but your father has given all of you food on the table for so many years. To your father, that may be his form of love and probably the only thing someone from his generation / family background is capable of expressing.
Everyone has a different language of love. And your father's way of making sure all of you grow up properly is to rein you all in with force and threats. Now that you have all grown up, perhaps it's time to make the first move and start loving him back.
After all, no point talking to him the day he goes six feet under. That's when you will really regret. Ever heard the song "Cats in the Cradle"? You were once a cat in his cradle but none of you are willing to spend time with him now.
Disregard if I'm wrong. Tks :)
agreeable...
being traditional and strict was due to a different generation gap..breeding future ungratified bunch of youths who resort to gangs and finally ended up in death gallows....leaving them crying in sorrows outside the iron bars...
there can be lousy dads as well as moms (who are not widely exposed)..so long as they bring food and bring you up....the rest is of varying degrees of expectations from ungratified bunches who compare themselves to rich and "elite" frens...
-
Originally posted by trolol:
my father, same situation, now my whole family don't talk to him. He went to his brother and cry(yes literally), then his brother(my uncle) come ask me why i so bastard child.
whose father lousier LMAO, liddat also complain knn.
you this fucking cloney who talks shit in the football forums can also talk serious ah lol
-
Originally posted by seyKai:
Love comes from downward , hardly upward
your fathers do love you guys only you dun see it.
many fathers dun show their affection or maybe they didnt know how to
I didnt know my father till that night he died.
ask yourself, what have u done for him?
that's what happened to one of my lover... she hate her dad when he's alive... then when he really die... she really sad too.. sighz....everytime i think of her story.. i feel like crying too...sighz... -
Originally posted by dracas:
I grew up in a family whereby the father still have the not-caring approach in the family. He believed that whatever he learnt from his generation could still apply now as in they believe only by using threat and force could make the sons and daughter submit to them. He had never cared about our school work, everything since young.
20yrs later now it ended up with almost none of my siblings including me are close to him, is as though he is a total stranger. It gets so bad that sitting down for a meal with him turns so awkward. We could like just walk past each other without acknowledgement.
I really wants to know how do I prevent this from happening to my own family in future. I would consider myself to be a great failure if I ever become like him, estranged from the family. Is there a way to learn good parenting? How how?
Your father is a lousy father because you and your siblings are by-products of his sexual relief with your mother. Back then don't have contraceptives like modern time. And he is just a lazy bum, really.
Nowadays, having children is a CHOICE.
Since you don't want to behave like your father then don't, what's stopping you ?
When you become a father in the future, be more involved with your children and engage in their life.
Your father never learned to "enjoy" fatherhood, you don't have to make the same mistake.
Putting food on the table is no longer just a man's responsibility anymore. With more mothers working and bringing back the dough, a father's obligation is no longer limited to just bread and butter.
Children are forced to love their parents, but love simply cannot be bought.
-
Originally posted by dracas:
I grew up in a family whereby the father still have the not-caring approach in the family. He believed that whatever he learnt from his generation could still apply now as in they believe only by using threat and force could make the sons and daughter submit to them. He had never cared about our school work, everything since young.
20yrs later now it ended up with almost none of my siblings including me are close to him, is as though he is a total stranger. It gets so bad that sitting down for a meal with him turns so awkward. We could like just walk past each other without acknowledgement.
I really wants to know how do I prevent this from happening to my own family in future. I would consider myself to be a great failure if I ever become like him, estranged from the family. Is there a way to learn good parenting? How how?
There's a reason for the dynamics in your family. Everyone's 'role' in the family is to teach each other some important life lessons, to be better people. Since you can see the problems of the current situation in your family, then you have the power to ensure that your own family in future can be a positive one and not repeat the mistakes made, provided you have truly learnt the lessons and now know what to do.
Everyone is responsible for his/her own life and future. Many people are unable to learn the life lessons from their own experience, and repeat the same mistakes in their own families, which is why we see some abused children becoming abusive parents. Blaming our parents for our own negativity is an extremely easy excuse to shirk our own responsibility of learning and growing to be positive people.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
-
Ts, why dont you look at his view? He actually wants his children to be good but express wrongly or in the wrong way. Afterall, he feed you up and now you become a father.
I think it is better that you love him instead of hate him. I am sure he did not do any physical harm on you and yuor brothers and sisters right?
-
wad lousy father? juz cuz he didnt treat his kids the way loving fathers do in drama means hes a lousy father? �爸 jus need to worry about bringing money home. simi show u care simi show u concern, leave those to �妈 la.
-
Only way for you to break the curse is for you to make peace with your Father and have forgiveness. There are no two ways about it.
-
Originally posted by dracas:
I grew up in a family whereby the father still have the not-caring approach in the family. He believed that whatever he learnt from his generation could still apply now as in they believe only by using threat and force could make the sons and daughter submit to them. He had never cared about our school work, everything since young.
20yrs later now it ended up with almost none of my siblings including me are close to him, is as though he is a total stranger. It gets so bad that sitting down for a meal with him turns so awkward. We could like just walk past each other without acknowledgement.
I really wants to know how do I prevent this from happening to my own family in future. I would consider myself to be a great failure if I ever become like him, estranged from the family. Is there a way to learn good parenting? How how?
You can start by treating and behaving exactly opposite of what you are currently treating and behaving towards your father.You can grow up in a bad family, have unfortunate bad parents, got ignored by bad siblings. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEANS YOU MUST BE A BAD SON TO YOUR PARENTS, BAD BROTHER TO YOUR SIBLINGS.
And if you truly desire CHANGE, then don't wait for the change to fall upon you. Initiate the change yourself! START BY CHANGING YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS YOUR OWN FATHER.
Good parenting must come from good childhood. So you need to learn to become a good son and love your parents first, and cultivate a loving heart towards your family. And when you have your own family, you will be able extend the same kind of love naturally towards your children and loved ones.
No children would want to see their parents on bad terms with their grandparents. So it is not too late for you to start learning to become a good son to your parents...including your father of course.
-
Originally posted by Rock^Star:
you this fucking cloney who talks shit in the football forums can also talk serious ah lol
i talk shit arh? where?
I cloney? i clone your mother's fucking chee buay or where?
-
Originally posted by parn:
You can start by treating and behaving exactly opposite of what you are currently treating and behaving towards your father.You can grow up in a bad family, have unfortunate bad parents, got ignored by bad siblings. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEANS YOU MUST BE A BAD SON TO YOUR PARENTS, BAD BROTHER TO YOUR SIBLINGS.
And if you truly desire CHANGE, then don't wait for the change to fall upon you. Initiate the change yourself! START BY CHANGING YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS YOUR OWN FATHER.
Good parenting must come from good childhood. So you need to learn to become a good son and love your parents first, and cultivate a loving heart towards your family. And when you have your own family, you will be able extend the same kind of love naturally towards your children and loved ones.
No children would want to see their parents on bad terms with their grandparents. So it is not too late for you to start learning to become a good son to your parents...including your father of course.
very true
-
Ts, you should know that one day when you becme a father, you will also want your kids to be good. And unknowingly, you will also act like what your father did to you.
Be good to your father. He want you to be a good boy and a good man too.
-
chop off your dick to prevent yourself from ever starting a family
problem solved
you are welcome