HELP ME, GUYS!!!!!
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i have this fren whos a guy n we're known each other for around 3 months and we're going to meet each other for the first time this week. i used to have a crush on him till he told me he had a gf. i've helped him thru his relationship n stuff. hes gf hates me tho, she thinks he likes me more than her. i tried to explain to her dat i only like him as a fren but she denys it, n i really dunno wad to do now... help me!
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Is it because you have been sticking together with your friend all the time?
Have u really have gotten over him? -
Y bother abt his gf when u noe u and him only frens? NO need to bother abt her lah... Cos as long as u 2 are frens, she is the one overreacting.... So juz treat things like normal... If u dun like quarrels, try not to see his gf...Originally posted by detsub:i have this fren whos a guy n we're known each other for around 3 months and we're going to meet each other for the first time this week. i used to have a crush on him till he told me he had a gf. i've helped him thru his relationship n stuff. hes gf hates me tho, she thinks he likes me more than her. i tried to explain to her dat i only like him as a fren but she denys it, n i really dunno wad to do now... help me! -
hack care his gf unless one day ur friend ask u to leave him alone if not u can still continue carry on ur frendship wif him. Afterall his gf also can't stop him from having friends
dun be sad. there will be sunshine after rain
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sometimes life doesn't work with "theories". you are most definitely correct, but unfortunately life is not that simple that it can be worked out with logical reasoning all the time.Originally posted by shaunlaw:Y bother abt his gf when u noe u and him only frens? NO need to bother abt her lah... Cos as long as u 2 are frens, she is the one overreacting.... So juz treat things like normal... If u dun like quarrels, try not to see his gf...
i feel that unless she wants to further persue this "reln" (friendship, crush or watever u wanna call it) further then it's up to her to. it should have nothing to do with the guy's gf, true, but i can't help and think about the crush she has on the guy, so is this healthy that she meets him up while he's attached?
this is also not mentioning the guy's motive for meeting up. he's having probs (i assume) with his gf, he knows or maybe can tell that detsub has a crush on him and may (we'd like to assume) just meet up as friends and discuss his problems since she's been such a great confidante, but still water runs deep. it's never that simple.
btw, has anyone thought about the fact that she has a crush him THAT'S WHY she's so attentive to him and his problems. of course she (and others) can say that she's just caring for him as a friend. the sub-conscious works in ways that are more powerful than the conscious sometimes. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romantic inclinations.
detsub, i would tread on this path carefully. some say if i do like a guy, who cares just go for it. got gf or not bochap. some say never to touch an attached person. think u need to have ur own say. and proceed accordingly. -
girls are easily jealous....cause they felt that any other ger near their bf is a threat.....and the guy will tend to lose his friends, ger or boi, if he haf a gf...so be it than....
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Originally posted by De|usi0n:girls are easily jealous....cause they felt that any other ger near their bf is a threat.....and the guy will tend to lose his friends, ger or boi, if he haf a gf...so be it than....
Jia lat. That kind of gf too possessive already. -
U dun have to do anything regarding his GF... since she wanna keep it dat wae, coz its her BF who wanna tok to U. She has to accept it. U cannot do much abt it either... for she's stubborn. Do wat U "feel" is da best. If U wanna carry on "helping" out da guy, tok to him & stuffs, go ahead. If U wanna "break" contact to prevent further implications, go ahead.Originally posted by detsub:i have this fren whos a guy n we're known each other for around 3 months and we're going to meet each other for the first time this week. i used to have a crush on him till he told me he had a gf. i've helped him thru his relationship n stuff. hes gf hates me tho, she thinks he likes me more than her. i tried to explain to her dat i only like him as a fren but she denys it, n i really dunno wad to do now... help me!
Wat I trying to sae here is, doin things always have some obstacles pop out some where... Its how U handle dis obstacle (in dis case, da GF's "misunderstanding", suspicions & jealousy towards U...) dat matters. Y not try putting yrself in da GF's shoes... then U noe how she felt... once U can see da "picture", sure U noe wat to do next.
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first time meet?
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girls must learn to trust their guys also.Originally posted by De|usi0n:girls are easily jealous....cause they felt that any other ger near their bf is a threat.....and the guy will tend to lose his friends, ger or boi, if he haf a gf...so be it than....
but some guys are also possessive, we call them MCPs. -
Roles reversed...
Your guy wants to spend time with some other girl whom they keep insisting they are just friends.
Would you be troubled?
If you really care for the guy, give that a thought. -
Good comment... But can U be more "specific" as in put in more details of wat U wld BRAND "MCP"... So dat I & da rest of da guys here wil take note.Originally posted by BOOBsie:girls must learn to trust their guys also.
but some guys are also possessive, we call them MCPs. -
MCPsOriginally posted by loneryu00:Good comment... But can U be more "specific" as in put in more details of wat U wld BRAND "MCP"... So dat I & da rest of da guys here wil take note.
Possessive, making us do all the housework, we must be 'small woman', cannot argue, cannot quarrel, must say sorry even if we're not in the wrong, cannot go out, etc -
you know what's strange?
That's how WOMEN treat men these days.Originally posted by BOOBsie:
[b]MCPs
Possessive, making us do all the housework, we must be 'small woman', cannot argue, cannot quarrel, must say sorry even if we're not in the wrong, cannot go out, etc[/b] -
Originally posted by the Bear:you know what's strange?
That's how WOMEN treat men these days.
Anywae... noted. thanks boobsie! -
IF you've really got over the past with this guy.... Tell his gf that you TRUST her bf is being TRUTHFUL to her and hence that's why he bother to make those queries for you to help him on this relationship on theirs.... The reason why he chose you OVER her is probably because it's always more difficult to dissolve relationship conflict(s) between parties directly INVOLVED in it..... (you need not tell her this...) But DO tell her that you TRUST her bf..... And tell her she've got 2 VERY 'SIMPLE' choices.... Either to TRUST her bf or NOT to trust him..... SIMPLE as that....?Originally posted by detsub:i have this fren whos a guy n we're known each other for around 3 months and we're going to meet each other for the first time this week. i used to have a crush on him till he told me he had a gf. i've helped him thru his relationship n stuff. hes gf hates me tho, she thinks he likes me more than her. i tried to explain to her dat i only like him as a fren but she denys it, n i really dunno wad to do now... help me! -
I remember this chinese proverb - Duo chi yi ju. Its direct meaning referring to going on extra mile on something unneccessary.Originally posted by detsub:i have this fren whos a guy n we're known each other for around 3 months and we're going to meet each other for the first time this week. i used to have a crush on him till he told me he had a gf. i've helped him thru his relationship n stuff. hes gf hates me tho, she thinks he likes me more than her. i tried to explain to her dat i only like him as a fren but she denys it, n i really dunno wad to do now... help me!
Firstly: Both of you know each other online. The gf hates you because either she heard/knows about this OR she simply read the log or similar when the both of you are communicating (OR sms/gifts/etc) and all these perhaps suggest wrong motive. Its is rather likely that that guy is mentioned/compare/did something subconscious which made her claims of 'she thinks he likes me more than her.'
The other thing is that: When you tried explaining, it will make matter worst. Seriously speaking, you shouldn't have tried explaining - Duo chi yi ju. Their matters is between them - you being the third party, when you so anxious about trying to do something, it will only make you appear as if you are gulity.
The explaining must be DONE by that guy. I suggest a cool off period. Temporary continue your old life without him for a moment - afterall, if you claim that you only like him as a friend, this shouldn't be a problem.
Cheers -
Well ... ... I think firstly you need to know what's the guy thinks about you ... Advice is never continue a r/s with a guy who is attached and yet make his moves on you ... Even when he is having problems with his r/s. That's wht I think. If you see my post ... maybe you can understand what I am saying.
Next, ask yourself, are you still harbouring hopes with him. If you do, stay clear from him. Dun make yourself as an excuse for him to break with his gf. You will feel miserable if it happens, unless you are quite a heartless person?
If he only treat you as a good friend, of course you can carry on the friendship. If the gf so easy jealous, there's nothing much you can do. Its the guy's job to communicate with her and all you can do is advise him on the more tactful way of communicating with gals.
Good luck to you.
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Affairs of the heart... can only advise cannot help.
It's only natural for a gf to be angry with some gals who have constant contact with her bf. It's a norm that she hates you. If you have a bf and he is always talking about this particular gal.. you too will feel uneasy. It's hard to have truely good friends of the opposite sex (I mean pure friendships) -
how about test them out a bit hah? find a guy you are really going after and behave real close to him. that jealous GF should be falling all herself trying to help you clinch this new guy. Better still, what if that guy u had a crush on actually starts to look sore about your new 'close' friend?
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thanks guys, i'll think it over