From Friends to Lovers
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One of the most difficult decisions you could ever make is the one that moves a solid friendship onto the unstable foothold offered in a dating relationship. Before I even get into ways to approach a friend you have romantic interest in, let's talk about the-
Risks vs. benefits
Keeping your friend - Your friend is someone you can talk to freely, spend time with enjoyably, and someone who isn't likely to walk out of your life in a heartbeat.
Losing your friend - Most relationships in your life will come to pass. It's a hard, cold fact that makes the decision of dating a friend very difficult.
Understand the risks - You are considering the option of sacrificing your friendship for something more - something closer. You could lose your friend forever.
Realize the potential - Relationships are strongest when bound together on the foundation of friendship. You already know and are comfortable with each other, so getting closer isn't such a mind game. Most importantly, if you have a solid friendship, you respect each other. I think respect is the missing element in dating in the 90's.
Applying for the job - Now what? You've made the decision to move forward, take the risks in stride, and go for the gold! How do you do it with the least risk of losing a friend? I'm going to offer several suggestions for ways in which you might "reframe" your friendship to grow into something more.
The Direct Method - This is my favorite
, and simply means coming out and telling your friend how you feel. It's important to leave the door to your current friendship open. "My feelings for you are changing. I value our friendship, and I can remain a good friend to you if that's all you want. You don't have to say anything now, but I wanted to tell you how I feel." It is important to be prepared for the possibility that your feelings are not going to be returned. Your friend may want to remain your friend.
The Mildly Indirect Method - As a red rose symbolizes love, and a yellow rose symbolizes friendship, get one of each and either deliver them in person or someplace where they'll be found; i.e.: Stick some in his gym bag, send them to her school/class, put them in his mailbox, or tuck them under her windshield wipers. Make sure the note you leave is friendly, not sultry. Keep it light and simple, with a touch of something more.
Whatever you decide, keep a few things in mind when dating your frien
Don't lose/give up the respect factor. ALWAYS respect your friend, even as a date.
Keep things slow and simple. Don't rush right into a physical relationship. Grow closer. Let love develop - it DOES develop, just not overnight. Don't do anything you are going to regret.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS acknowledge the friendship as something that still exists. Your friendship did not end, it was built upon. Someday that building might collapse in the wake of an earthquake, so make sure you don't neglect the foundation - perhaps it will not have crumbled.
Finally, a note from the Master...
Friends are forever but lovers are temporary
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oyi why u never reply me in my thread in chit chat regarding to the divx
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that is a fab entry, i agree with your saying that friends are permanent and lovers are temporary..but sometimes love is so overwhelming that you just go into it without thinking of things like this, this is life i guess
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thanksOriginally posted by bluejeans:that is a fab entry, i agree with your saying that friends are permanent and lovers are temporary..but sometimes love is so overwhelming that you just go into it without thinking of things like this, this is life i guess
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argh.. no wonder bf treat me like s**t........Originally posted by bluejeans:that is a fab entry , i agree with your saying that friends are permanent and lovers are temporary..but sometimes love is so overwhelming that you just go into it without thinking of things like this, this is life i guess
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I can identify with you, Master. your Direct Method mentioned above would also be my favorite if i had my way. but i cannot afford even the remotest possibility of her suspecting that i may still habor desires to develop our platonic friendship even after accepting her rejection. she may start to avoid even platonic friendship and may never look at me the same way again and maybe even suspect whether i was ever a platonic friend in the first place and not using that as cover for BGR. Please elaborate what measures you can suggest to minimise the risks and to reassure her we can always still be friends. may not be direct, may be subtle and tactful. all becos what's done cannot be undone. Thanks.Originally posted by Master -_-:The Direct Method - This is my favorite , and simply means coming out and telling your friend how you feel. It's important to leave the door to your current friendship open. "My feelings for you are changing. I value our friendship, and I can remain a good friend to you if that's all you want. You don't have to say anything now, but I wanted to tell you how I feel." It is important to be prepared for the possibility that your feelings are not going to be returned. Your friend may want to remain your friend.
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Hmm... I dunno. I read thru the passage twice but yet I still can't decide which method the most suitable one for me.
You have any alternative means for those chicken-hearted like me? -
wahhh andy
sharing us your secrets? -
Originally posted by Master -_-:
hmmM~~~~ so pessimistic?
One of the most difficult decisions you could ever make is the one that moves a solid friendship onto the unstable foothold offered in a dating relationship. Before I even get into ways to approach a friend you have romantic interest in, let's talk about the-
[b]Risks vs. benefits
Keeping your friend - Your friend is someone you can talk to freely, spend time with enjoyably, and someone who isn't likely to walk out of your life in a heartbeat.
Losing your friend - Most relationships in your life will come to pass. It's a hard, cold fact that makes the decision of dating a friend very difficult.
Understand the risks - You are considering the option of sacrificing your friendship for something more - something closer. You could lose your friend forever.
Realize the potential - Relationships are strongest when bound together on the foundation of friendship. You already know and are comfortable with each other, so getting closer isn't such a mind game. Most importantly, if you have a solid friendship, you respect each other. I think respect is the missing element in dating in the 90's.
Applying for the job - Now what? You've made the decision to move forward, take the risks in stride, and go for the gold! How do you do it with the least risk of losing a friend? I'm going to offer several suggestions for ways in which you might "reframe" your friendship to grow into something more.
The Direct Method - This is my favorite , and simply means coming out and telling your friend how you feel. It's important to leave the door to your current friendship open. "My feelings for you are changing. I value our friendship, and I can remain a good friend to you if that's all you want. You don't have to say anything now, but I wanted to tell you how I feel." It is important to be prepared for the possibility that your feelings are not going to be returned. Your friend may want to remain your friend.
The Mildly Indirect Method - As a red rose symbolizes love, and a yellow rose symbolizes friendship, get one of each and either deliver them in person or someplace where they'll be found; i.e.: Stick some in his gym bag, send them to her school/class, put them in his mailbox, or tuck them under her windshield wipers. Make sure the note you leave is friendly, not sultry. Keep it light and simple, with a touch of something more.
Whatever you decide, keep a few things in mind when dating your frien
Don't lose/give up the respect factor. ALWAYS respect your friend, even as a date.
Keep things slow and simple. Don't rush right into a physical relationship. Grow closer. Let love develop - it DOES develop, just not overnight. Don't do anything you are going to regret.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS acknowledge the friendship as something that still exists. Your friendship did not end, it was built upon. Someday that building might collapse in the wake of an earthquake, so make sure you don't neglect the foundation - perhaps it will not have crumbled.
Finally, a note from the Master...
Friends are forever but lovers are temporary
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maybe when ur with him, his opinions changeOriginally posted by IamAngeline:hmmM~~~~ so pessimistic? 
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Originally posted by Tamade Extreme:maybe when ur with him, his opinions change
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Originally posted by IamAngeline: