Ex Now Attached.I Feel so sad.I am in a sad marriage.
-
Originally posted by Janesg72:
Then the more , shame on you! My dad speaks far better English than you! More well-mannered,even! You sure you are that old? My goodness! Please don't shame the people of the older generation!
a useless son like u. if i were to noe, i feed my sperm to the cockroachesdun take things for granted
-
Originally posted by FBFIce:
a useless son like u. if i were to noe, i feed my sperm to the cockroachesdun take things for granted
Well too bad, bald old man, too late.Stop your regrets and just stay put in the shout -box for your useless chats. Your contribution here is atrocious.
-
Originally posted by Janesg72:
Well too bad, bald old man, too late.Stop your regrets and just stay put in the shout -box for your useless chats. Your contribution here is atrocious.
u wan to join me in the SB? ha, still out growing your baby hair? -
Still playing with cockroaches? Geez...can't imagine you can even think this way. I rather stay here to show all for days to come what sort of stuffs you are capable of sharing!
-
Originally posted by Janesg72:
Still playing with cockroaches? Geez...can't imagine you can even think this way. I rather stay here to show all for days to come what sort of stuffs you are capable of sharing!
<!--Session data-->
u got much to learn son -
Originally posted by FBFIce:
u got much to learn sonLike what? Talking rubbish ? No thanks, I think you have never really grown up despite your age. I feel sorry for you.
-
To Annie, I think it's about time you talk to your husband about your situation. To be fair, he should know and then maybe can address the problem with you. The more you hide it to yourself, the more you will fill yourself with negative thoughts. If not communicating often is the problem, bring this out to your hubby. If something else is the problem, let your hubby knows... The other thing is maybe you need to socialize more with friends outside. I got a feeling you're mostly hiding up at home and then starts to think about all the different things. And you can ignore some of the negative comments in this forum if they are not constructive or helpful. Some people posts just for the sake of posting and acting smart, you do not always have to listen to anybody. It's your life, you decide how you want to live it. If you listen to their advice and turns out it screws up your life, who do you blame... only yourself... hence you have to take charge.
-
To Annie, I think it's about time you talk to your husband about your situation. To be fair, he should know and then maybe can address the problem with you. The more you hide it to yourself, the more you will fill yourself with negative thoughts. If not communicating often is the problem, bring this out to your hubby. If something else is the problem, let your hubby knows... The other thing is maybe you need to socialize more with friends outside. I got a feeling you're mostly hiding up at home and then starts to think about all the different things. And you can ignore some of the negative comments in this forum if they are not constructive or helpful. Some people posts just for the sake of posting and acting smart, you do not always have to listen to anybody. It's your life, you decide how you want to live it. If you listen to their advice and turns out it screws up your life, who do you blame... only yourself... hence you have to take charge.
-
Hi,
I believe your mistake was meeting your ex.....
This caused you to be nostalgic, and to compare.....
Er.......see whether you can improve your relations with your husband.....maybe take a holiday somewhere together......
One thing is...dont compare and dont regret........try to make improvements within your own situation.......
Ok good luck.....
-
as always...think thrice before you marry someone..other than love...there are tons of factors to consider
-
with such gender system...better to stay single till the opposite gender changes their perception....
funny as it seems...they will never change as they expect more changes from you...
so STAY SINGLE....
BRAVO AGAIN!
-
Originally posted by Janesg72:
Like what? Talking rubbish ? No thanks, I think you have never really grown up despite your age. I feel sorry for you.
are you that stupid to believe what is wriiten in this forum? -
Originally posted by Simply Annie:
My marriage has been a sad one.Hubby and I dun talk much. Was kind of an arranged marriage.We cannot divorce. We stayed married on as we have 2 small kids. Lately, I met my ex and we had a walk & talk. He is getting married .I felt happy for him and at the same time, I could not help thinking of those times we had loved each other deeply.I feel so envious and at the same time, I kind of miss his love for me. We did not marry then as he was 3 years younger and was not well-off enough.My family wanted me to be with my hubby then.
It is so sad to be in a loveless marriage. I wish I can die.
There will come a time where we cannot abnegate our power to make our own decision to external forces just because ‘it has always been this way.’ You are an adult – biologically old enough to have your own children. It would have been different if you were a child, but even a child suffers the consequences of his/her ignorant acts. Regardless of reasoning, the outcome of today's circumstance is but an effect of choice/s made.
You have your own rights to decide the life you want to live. As much as this is an arranged marriage, things manifest the way it did because part of your agreement to whatever decision that was made just unfold itself, like logical scenes in your ‘love story’ thus far (albeit not a happy one). For relationship is a voluntary arrangement between two people to come together in a union; a marriage merely legalize this deal.
There is a central perspective in your post, coupled with a number of what I call 'absolute thinking values'. I will address them individually below:
Central to your thoughts is likely to be as such: you seemed to believe that things are probably fixed. You are married. You have two children and probably seemed like a 'happy family' outside. Making any decision to possibly ruin this will immediate equate to an act of blasphemy or treason.
The absolute thinking values are:
i) We cannot divorce.
You are employing the same flow of logics once again and then I would causally ask why 'cannot?' Of course I know there are good reasons to remain status quo and I would have easily share the same thoughts - however in reality, regardless of what those reasons are, basically, what happens is that you have made an active commitment by opting for 'the choice to remain in the relationship' as compared to 'we cannot divorce'.
You might think that I am talking about the same thing, but it is actually not. I will explain in my next point:
ii) It is so sad to be in a loveless marriage.
It probably degenerated into a loveless marriage. Like a house, if we don't regularly clean it, dust will start accumulating and we all know too well what will happen shortly. You probably thought that this relationship first begins 'without romantic love' and hence it will surely lead to a loveless marriage. But I must say that it is part of your belief association that self prophesize into reality.
If you combine 'cannot divorce' with 'loveless marriage' - basically, it is sure ingredient for a miserable perspective. But eventually from (i), if you deemed that it is a choice that you choose to stay, then naturally you also have a choice to do something about your loveless marriage.
I am not advocating for a stay/bye bye position in your marriage - what I want to point out is that there is this shade of grey that you could look into - if you wished for a more fulfilling relationship. Certainly, you have already made your choice; turning your shoulders to see how far your past has been is definitely not helpful to you in a forward looking perspective.
P.S: I have contact for an upcoming marital workshop for couples 5 years or less into their matrimony. It is not conducted by me, but if you are interested, you can PM me for more information.
Cheers -
EITHER/OR....
thats an age old philosophical question which will never be answered but you yourself to ponder and make the best decision...
given so much worsening changes to the marital blues...and the rise of singles and divorces...and prior to your decision to leave....
u MAY wish to spare a thought for your miserable little man...as much as the voice of todays men
-
-
Originally posted by Simply Annie:
My marriage has been a sad one.Hubby and I dun talk much. Was kind of an arranged marriage.We cannot divorce. We stayed married on as we have 2 small kids. Lately, I met my ex and we had a walk & talk. He is getting married .I felt happy for him and at the same time, I could not help thinking of those times we had loved each other deeply.I feel so envious and at the same time, I kind of miss his love for me. We did not marry then as he was 3 years younger and was not well-off enough.My family wanted me to be with my hubby then.
It is so sad to be in a loveless marriage. I wish I can die.
Annie, You say you are in a "loveless" marriage ?
Loveless means... YOU don't love your husband or your husband don't love you ?
TWO children from this marriage and you claim it loveless ? Were you coerced into having two children ?
Do you love your children ?
If you are given a chance to re-live your life again.. will you forgo your current children so you can be with your "loving" ex ?
Your ex is a dream.. a unfinished fantasy. What makes you think you wont' be "loveless" with him .. after having 2 kids ?
You blamed this "loveless" arranged marriage, because your husband never had to "court" you, you never had to feel the kind of "rush" from your husband as compared to the younger ex.
A marriage is not the beginning of the end... it's the beginning of a new phase of life.
Go out on dates with your husband.. go for a honeymoon again. Pretend you and your husband are strangers and you meet in Starbucks... re-live what you missed out with him. It will be more fun than you think.. because your husband is not a stranger but someone you had 2 babies with.
There is no such thing as missing out on something when you can always recreate romance. Expectations needs to be balanced.. just because he is your husband doesn't means he can read your mind....
People seek out adventures, adventures don't come to people.
If you are a BORING wife/person anyway... your life will be boring.
Go have fun, life is too short.
-
You choose to think.
Whats between you and your ex is past. The "if only" thoughts make you yearn for pleasure. But then you have your husband the the two children, and this is drab. When you compare the two thoughts you feel the difference. Thats where the problem lies.
But take a good look at your thoughts, one is an imaginary scenario, the other is reality.
You want to be loved, but it is not happening as you would like it to. Not to worry, dream your dreams, but be aware of reality. There is life, duty and commitment. And so much as you continue think of yourself only, and neglect life, duty and commitment you are going to be miserable.
Give love, and you will receive love. There is your husband, your children, and the rest of the extented family. There is no love in the future, you can only look back into the past for it. And you are making the past, now.
-
Wooo whatever you do, or whatever happens, don't let anything affect the children. they still need to grow up into good, well taught, grounded adults yeah :) and as young as they may, soon they can sense if/when something's not right.
-
Originally posted by FBFIce:
a useless son like u. if i were to noe, i feed my sperm to the cockroachesdun take things for granted
wah lao, how you know the cockroaches eat sperm one??? -
Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:
wah lao, how you know the cockroaches eat sperm one???
u will learn alot more wen u grew older -
Once married, never stay in touch with the ex. If you do that, you might be tempted to share your woes when the going gets tough.
I think if you have already have 2 kids, should really spare a thought for them. They would be very sad to know you don't love their papa.
-
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.........................
on to the next bullcrap thread, shall we ?
-
this is afterall the aunt agony thread, those who don't get the idea of consolation should stay away...the ts wasn't wrong to voice her issues...
-
I second that.
-
I concur that..