Hi guys

, i have been noticing quite a lot of GBR problems with friends and lovers, so i decided to write my view on this.
Many times i heard my friends in poly saying "Relationships ruin friendships." Most people will agree with that statement. You may have even seen it in action or had it happen to you. You think about it and it makes sense. Therefore, you make yourself a rule
"Never date a friend." 
You vow to hold true to this new rule...you make it your most important rule of dating. This is cool

...you are going to save yourself a lot of pain now!
Does this sound like you?It sounds like me though. Haha.. i am 20 right now and i can be classified as the fine line between a good looking and ugly looking guy

Unfortunately, the establishment of this rule is probably the worst thing that you can do to yourself. In fact, you should be doing the exact opposite. "What are you thinking? Are you insane?"
Well, let's think. What are all the possible reasons for not being friends with someone?

1) You don't know them well enough to be their friend

2) You know them and you don't want to be their friend

Now, let's just use a little bit of common sense here. We'll look at each case individually. If there were a person you knew, and you really did not want to be their friend (for whatever reason), would you want to be in a relationship with them? Think about it. NO. You wouldn't. If there was something that kept you from being friends with someone, it would obviously be reason enough not to be into a closer relationship with them, since a relationship is closer than a friendship.
Ok, so what is the only other possibility? Well, that is that you don't know the person well enough to be their friend. Would you really want to enter a relationship with someone you didn't know well enough to know if you wanted to be their friend? NO. Of course not. If you don't know them well enough to be friends with them, you
DEFINITELY don't know them well enough to be in a closer relationship with them.
It's that simple. There is a reason that people use the phrase "more than friends." A relationship is more than a friendship. Don't become more than friends until you are friends first. Ok, so the new rule will be "Be friends first." This means that when you really like someone, BECOME their friend before you even think about anything else.
Let's look at the benefits of this secret

1) If you meet someone new, and become friends with them first, you can get to know them on a personal level, and then decide if you really want a relationship with them. Sometimes you might really want a relationship with someone at first, and then you get to know them, and you realize that they aren't really right for you. In this case, you've avoided the pain of a failed relationship, and you've made yourself a wonderful friend in the process!
2) If you become friends with someone, and then build the relationship from that point, if the relationship does end, you can remain friends. Maybe that won't happen in every situation, but if you are not friends first, you can be sure that there is no way that you will be friends afterwards.
3) A friendship is built on so many of the same things that a relationship is. Those things include trust, caring, and a mental and emotional connection. In this sense, a relationship is a natural extension of a friendship. Looking at it this way, it would be downright absurd to try to make a relationship work without a friendship.

If there is anything more that I have to say, it's that when you do find yourself in a relationship, you should make sure to STAY FRIENDS, ALWAYS. That means DURING the relationship, and afterwards. Make sure that your boyfriend/girlfriend IS your best friend. If you keep it that way, you will save yourself so much unnecessary pain.
Cheers
P.S. Stay clear from those heartbreaks and remain a good friend like you always are
