I'm a Lonely person
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I think I'm a big failure when it comes to human relationships. Even after my 4 year education in secondary school, I've managed to make only 2 really very good friends. But even, during the holidays, I find it hard to pass the time becoz there's no one to spend it with, and even if I do go out, it would be alone most of the time. 1 of these 2 friends is grounded while the other doesn't seem to want to spend time with me anymore. I do have other friends, but they don't seem to be around all the time. I think I'm a real lonely person, and right now I'm feeling all sad and pathetic. It has something to do with my character or something: I'm not too open about my feelings etc, too sensitive etc. So at the end of the day, I find myself alone. Hoping to find myself a new life when I get into JC. Any comments or advice? Otherwise, thanks for listening. =)
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Are you a guy or gal?
Anyway, perhaps you can just call your good friends up and if possible, ask them out or if you know they're going out, ask them if it's possible to tag along, you know.
In this way, you may get to know more people and widen your social circle.
Even if they don't go out, you can still spend some time talking over the phone. This will still improve your relationship with your friends at least. No matter what, it's better than keeping to yourself and being lonely.
I was like you and possibly still like you; I was reluctant to go out because I've low self-esteem and not much confidence in myself and I get totally freaked out in front of the opposite sex. But as you go out more, I got better and I'm not so averse to going out anymore. Although I'm still not so comfortable in large group and prefer to talk with 1 or 2 close friends but that's an improvement after all. -
I'm a gal.
Yeah, I've pretty low self esteem myself. I do call up my friends for a chat at least once every 2 days, but they are either not at home, or they can't talk for long. And the problem with me is that I don't like going out with people whom I do not know well. That's one reason why I don't like going out with my friends when THEIR friends are around too. I'm quite a shy n antisocial n reserved person. Trying hard to get out of my shell.
Thanks for replying mcking
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Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man. -
Try to have a positive attitude towards your social life. No frens or less frens does not mean you are boring in character or whatever...its juz maybe to a certain extent you dont click with the people you know or want to know.
There are times where its juz that you are not fated to be with those people.
Juz dont give up and try some more.
Maybe you will find a group of frens that you can get along with.
Good Luck!!!
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I am the God of everything.Just joking!! -
hi there honggggg, long time no hear from u..
Hmm.. I understand what you are going through. having no friends to go out means being bored in ur case I suppose.. But ever tried going something else on ur own?? maybe just do things that u wanted to do all this while, but never had the chance becoz of ur studies and other commitments. Well, u said that u r the reserved type.. so does it mean that things like decorating a photo album or, piecing a puzzle amuse you?? These are things that will take time and effort. and will make u proud of wat u haf done. For instance, decorating a photo album for ur frens, stating how the friendship with this fren or that. I mean even if it's just some small neo prints they are worth the effort, becoz most importantly, they are the ones whom u consider as good pals before. Moreover, u can also do some social work to help past time if u need.
And one more thing.. I dun think u are anti social. and u dun haf a low self esteem. U think u r antisocial becoz u dun have much friends. But hey no manz.. that's not wat u call antisocial. U have posted things here on this forum. U have helped pple here on this forum. that does not make u one. it's just becoz like wat [SSF]Legion said. u just can't get along with all the pple ard u only. That wun make u antisocial. U select ur frens carefully, u consider the character of ur frens. that's being good. that means u think before u move.. that's the correct way in life rather than just accepting all the pple ard u and learn the wrong things.
And u dun haf a low self-esteem too. I'm sure of that.. it's just that u r bored at the moment and u get hindered by it, or maybe there are some other things that u r troubled with that makes u feel this way. If I were to put u together wif ur the two good friends I think u will be all well alive.. well... it's just who u r wif and where u r. For instance, if u studies are not that good, and I were to put u in a top school. U will feel terrible too. but is that u? no manz. U have ur sthenghs to be proud of. this is u. something no other pple can take over, or resemble u. Maybe just that u have not discovered. and if u have found out wat they are and use more of it, u will have more self-confidence. that's how u build ur self esteem.. relax u are a fine young girl.. u are not inferior from any one of us overall. We are all the same. just that we are better in a different way...
Smilez...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
posted 22 December 2000 10:01 PM
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I think I'm a big failure when it comes to human relationships. Even after my 4 year education in secondary school, I've managed to make only 2 really very good friends. But even, during the holidays, I find it hard to pass the time becoz there's no one to spend it with, and even if I do go out, it would be alone most of the time. 1 of these 2 friends is grounded while the other doesn't seem to want to spend time with me anymore. I do have other friends, but they don't seem to be around all the time.
**Hey, you are not alone who faced this problem,....
I do have some friends, or so called zhu peng gou you, but when really need a listening ear, all seems to vanish into thin air.
Pathetic rite? -
Nadia:
Well not to worry.. there is always this forum. There will always be someone here who will listen to ur words and empathise wif you. coz I will personally extend my arms to those who need help (sensible qns only).
and there will be this email and icq number to get a listening ear <[email protected]> <19569168>
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
Don't b so despondent, there's always time for you to develop and change your attitude towards friends. Nothing is wrong with shy and antisocial, it's juz that u r not used to it, mayb when u come out to work, you will think and behave differently. Trust me, one will not be shy forever. Of course u must make an effort yourself to go out more with others and if u really need a friend to chat to, ICQ me or email me, but pls identify yourself or else I won't authorize u lohOriginally posted by honggggg:I'm a gal.
Yeah, I've pretty low self esteem myself. I do call up my friends for a chat at least once every 2 days, but they are either not at home, or they can't talk for long. And the problem with me is that I don't like going out with people whom I do not know well. That's one reason why I don't like going out with my friends when THEIR friends are around too. I'm quite a shy n antisocial n reserved person. Trying hard to get out of my shell.
Thanks for replying mcking
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
"...I think we're all lonely. I think that's the human condition. I think we all feel loneliness, but I'm not afraid of it and I'm not afraid of being alone. I see the suffering of feeling lonely. I have felt loneliness; I've felt lonely with people and without them. But I've only grown from it, learned from it. The negative impact has disappeared for me in the face of all the positive things I've learned. I find that when you get upset by loneliness or you feel like crying or you get that painful feeling, it isn't a bad thing. I just look at it as feelings." Amy Ray
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I don't know what you think, but if I am one of the friends you are refering to, I think you did not try talking to me. You know I will always be there for you...Originally posted by Nadia:posted 22 December 2000 10:01 PM I do have some friends, or so called zhu peng gou you, but when really need a listening ear, all seems to vanish into thin air.
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**I want u to be with me.....
be with me in the morning...be with me in the nite...with me when its dark out...with me when its light...
I want u to be with me...no matter what we do...just keep this reminder...of how much I love u...** -
Hi, well I kind of feel like that same with you. I was a loner, no gd friends, juz friends... then well got to know this gal, then she became my gf..... for almost 2 years, then now we broke up liao, then suddenly my like kind of feels empty, coz like for the 2 years my like was revolved around her and now that she's gone, kind of lost my way and still stuck and still trying to find direction.......... well guess everybody has each and his or her own story to tell......... well I guess my advice to you is not to despair, coz ppl will come and go in your life, and from these ppl there will be some who will be part of your life, remember this, a lifetime's not too long to live as friends..........Originally posted by honggggg:I think I'm a big failure when it comes to human relationships. Even after my 4 year education in secondary school, I've managed to make only 2 really very good friends. But even, during the holidays, I find it hard to pass the time becoz there's no one to spend it with, and even if I do go out, it would be alone most of the time. 1 of these 2 friends is grounded while the other doesn't seem to want to spend time with me anymore. I do have other friends, but they don't seem to be around all the time. I think I'm a real lonely person, and right now I'm feeling all sad and pathetic. It has something to do with my character or something: I'm not too open about my feelings etc, too sensitive etc. So at the end of the day, I find myself alone. Hoping to find myself a new life when I get into JC. Any comments or advice? Otherwise, thanks for listening. =)
Wanna recommended this song to you gd and caring ppl out there........ Friends by Michael Smith........ it's a nice song, go download it............
So I guess all the best to you.......... take care -
harrowz djmemo,
Hey... maybe it's a time for you to step out and socialise... Well, the initial step will always be hard. but as time takes it's place friends fill you life and heart with fun and memories. Especially now that u r still young, it's good for u to know more pple. after that u have a wider selection of pple to choose from. Even then wif more frenz, u will get more help, and u will have another kind of life. which will satisfy another kind of ur emotional needs.
sometimes u just have to make the extra effort to make pple to feel closer to u. It's like giving and taking, u give a little bit more info about urself, pple will also do the same. If u really leave things as it is, it's hard to be sure that someone will understand you, hence it will be harder for u to find a close friend. think u know wat I mean...
And finally, we are all friends here. we will share ur happiness... divide your sorrowz... comfort u... When u r feeling lonely u can always help pple here, or ask about pple too.. u can always email me too... <[email protected]>
Take care....
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
We are SHAPED the way we are.... For a REASON....
Our LIVES are shaped the way it is.... For a REASON....
We ARE who we ARE.... For a REASON.....
Question who you were, who you ARE and who you're gonna be..... For a REASON.... There's really nothing wrong with you when there can't be right or wrong....
I was ONCE like you.... I taken a step backwards and fallen down DEEP.... But then I realised that the pit was never there.... Doesn't exist.... Is it was like a nightmare this could be a dream.... Don't ask who walks the paths of your life.... Don't question yourself unnecessarily..... Remember this: You are your best friend.... Understand yourself well.....
"I can alone... But I must never by lonely..."
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ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Thanks alot you guys, you don't know how touched I am to be hearing your replies, especially when none of you knows me. I'm happy to say that right now, I already feel much better. JC life's gonna start in a few days' time, and I'm quite determined to get to know some new people. Once again, thanks.
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hey, which JC u going to? mebbe we going same jc, den we could be frenz....Originally posted by honggggg:Thanks alot you guys, you don't know how touched I am to be hearing your replies, especially when none of you knows me. I'm happy to say that right now, I already feel much better. JC life's gonna start in a few days' time, and I'm quite determined to get to know some new people. Once again, thanks.
newae, i think thou' pple ard us all seem to have very close frenz whom they can share everything with, but sometimes, one does need private moments with oneself.......notice alot of the people who posted in this topic said they are lonely, so am i, but i think u can really find something to occupy/take away the loneliness. frenz can't really fill in the emptiness all the time.........
alot has to do with urself, and how u actually try to find things to occupy urself lo.........
anywayz, to tell the truth, 4 yrs in sec sch, i too have yet to find a real true fren......amongst those whom i'm always seen ard with, i can only say they are like mere acquaintances who just happened to cross my path. sad to say lo, but i dun have any real close frenz....... -
Friends ---- Michael W. Smith
(very very nice song)
Chorus:
And frenz r frenz 4ever
n the lord's the lord of them....
n a fren will not say never
coz the welcome will not end.
thou' it's hard to let u go....
into the father's hands we know
that a lifetime's not too long
to live as frenz....... -
True friends are the hardest to find. that's y they are so precious to us. so that we treasure then and not fling them ard... But as we walk down the streets of life... they will start to pop up. some are obvious. others least we expect one to come along... need not worry.. u have just travel 16 yrs of ur life still another 60-70 yrs more to go.. there are bound to be good friends waiting ahead.
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
To Bear: Thanks for the encouragement, it really helps
To t|red: I'm going to ACJC, but trying to appeal into NJC. I think u're going into VJC right? -
Hey Bear, really really thanks for you advice.... really means alot........ guess it's time to make more friends, I'm actually in the process of doing it, so see how it works out......
And to Honggggg, well do take care and like me got to socialise more lorz.......... wishing all the best for the New Year....
And to t|rEd, thanks for your advice too... guess life's somehow like that.... well I'm still trying to seek that close friend(though for almost 2 years, my gf was the closest friend I had), so all the best to you......
And to all the ppl out there, thanks for everything, you ppl are a great bunch. Take care and have a Happy New Year!
[This message has been edited by djmemo (edited 29 December 2000).] -
honggggg & djmemo:
Glad to see a tinge of positive attitude from the two of you. Well, expand ur social life that's wat u need... u may find it hard maybe a good fren among 10 u make, or among 20 or even 30. But this good fren will be true fren. If u dun mixed wif the 30 pple how are u going to find the good fren?? U dun strike lottery everyday... anyway nothing wrong wif having more frens, even they may not be that close, but somehow someday, they may need ur help and u will need theirs. Life is strange esp how it entangles our life.
honggggg & t|red:
Bet you will make some good friends in JC. Well, it's another new start so make good of it. All the best....
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
hey hey people!!! listen to our uncle beary tok! =) hee~ let's adopt the positive attitude towards life and it's ups n downs from our dear uncle beary here. =) hahaha.
bear: hee~ no offence la. just joking. =) newae, i'm sure i'll make lotsa frenz in VJ. =) thnx.
honggg: hey! u going ACJC? kewl......yep yep. thru' the big announcement i made, hee~ i'm going to VJ. =) -
Well, sometimes a humour approach will make my words go a longer way. so y not gif it a try. IF I get offened to easily then I will showing a negative attitude hence will be contridicting my words... hee hee.
Thanx for advertising for me. Like got there's a teddy bear for sale like that. Sounds like hey this toy bear can tok..
Well, VJ and AC are both good colleges, so strive hard okie... sure to succeed in life.... That's the most important thing...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
bear:
hmmz, i will strive hard one =) coz i still wanna meet u in 2 yrs time wherever u are!!! hee~ =) -
WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, STATE OF LOS ANGLELES t|red.... I, Bear, will take a for tour ard. where would like to see first?? Statue of Liberty?? sorry not here. hee hee...Originally posted by t|rEd:bear:
hmmz, i will strive hard one =) coz i still wanna meet u in 2 yrs time wherever u are!!! hee~ =)
Here we have Disneyland... want to go?? hee hee.. THen dun dreamz... read somemore post.. where to find time to study?? going to start sch liaoz arhz... hee hee
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear