kinda like my BF's younger bro
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well i've been with my bf for like 1 month and 2 weeks. and we r not really happy with each other.hes 23 and im 19. he complains that i dont understand him.and yes, kinda of in a way, i dont competelely understand the way he does things. he doesnt understand me that well either.and its becoming a problem between us. he thinks that even tho' im with him physically, mentally im like flying somewhere else.
and hes got younger brother who is 18.i've been to his place for a few times, and his family is nice pple.i havent been talking to his brother alot,only a little short talk when we see each other.i feel like, that i would like to get to know his bro. does it sound weird?
[This message has been edited by Devon La Nuu (edited 05 March 2001).] -
I'm not going to say that u shldn't be wif the brother becoz it will spoil the brotherly ties between the 2 of them... coz that's something that's out of the picture now.. just wanna focus on u.
Hmm... from the looks of it.. i can only say it's likely just another interested to know case here..
Firstly it's becoz u dun really know the brother. just toking to him for a couple of times will not mean that u love him.. maybe interested as in to know the person, yes, i may say so. It's something like, when u trip and fall and there is this person there to help u up. No doubt, u feel something for this person who is there, but it's not entirely out love at the moment to like this person. This is wat i mean by interested to know this person. but not out of love. Just a sudden thingy...
Secondly, u mentioned that u dun understand ur bf and ur bf dun understand u that kind of thing... hence maybe toking to the brother will just feel like an outlet for ur inner feelings... so u feel more comfortable wif him.
Thirdly, it could be becoz the two of u are closer if u look at the age difference. For instance, u can tok abt the 'A' levels or poly stuff to the brother, becoz both of u had just experience it, or u r undergoing the same route. But not for ur bf. being 23, ur bf might have long forgetten the days he sat in the exam hall flipping thru pages after pages examz scripts.
I'm not saying that the brother and u wun work out.. but just saying that this is not the time yet.. becoz u still dunno the borther. Just ask u a simple qn. how much u think u know abt the brother?? Yes... u can tell me wat he likes, and wat he do... but is that all u need to know abt him?? Naturally, anyone will say 'no' rite?? even for urself. That's y i'm saying u could have taken for 'the interest to know the brother' as a sign of liking the brother which is nto quite rite. Give it time if u want to develope.
On the other hand wif ur bf.. try to tok things out. I can only say.. humans are basically selfish and self-centred, that's y he says that u dun understand him. and not he says he dun understand u... he will point at u for faults, as this is a human failure. tok to him nicely, understand him and his actions. and say he has a point there. make him feel that he is right... BUT to some extent. just tell him the consequences or some thigns which he might have missed out when he proposed that plan in his mind. just say it once. dun repeat... but paraphase ur words that will make him ponder... and never argue even when he tries too.. just wat i say make him feel that he is right, make him happy, but to a certain extent...
Hope this will be of help... Pls update on ur progress.. coz we do like to see pple feel happier and more relieved after posting in here...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
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( 'o' )
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Bear:
U seemed to be a qualified counsellor liao.
Devon La Nuu:
U might wanna have a good talk with your bf. What is in the content, I think u should know better than us. Conflicts in relationships can be resolved if both parties are committed to maintain it. -
Just doing my part for the happiness of other pple... hee hee~ Other pple safe and sound and happily enjoy their time makes me happy too.. =) =)
It's just how i feel and my point of view. And also just training for my future job. hee hee~
Devon La Nuu:
How's things for u at the moment?? Do update us on the proceedings....
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
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()""()
( 'o' )
(,) (,)
(.)_(.)
~.~.~
[This message has been edited by Bear (edited 07 March 2001).]