out of love
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after so many break-ups and patch-ups, the final break up has finally came. i do not know whether i should feel relieved or not. i had never felt so deeply for any guy before. and this one whole year had been the happiest time of my life.
he strayed once, i initiated breaking up with him. he cried, threatened, pleaded... and i gave in. just one month ago, he appeared to have lost interest in this relationship altogether. i had been stronger and we broke up for a week. until he wooed me all over again, and my heart softened.
but this time round, i discovered that he has strayed again. i regret. i regret having been so soft-hearted to accept him so quickly.
am i a failure? i love him so much. i did so much for him. why did he do such a thing to me again and again???
i thot i was strong. i thot i wouldn't think about him anymore. i thot i hated him. i tore all the letters he wrote for me. tore up our picture. deleted our personal ecircle group. every little bit of us. gone.
but i miss him. i keep on thinking about him. thinking about looking for him. hugging him and crying in his chest. i dunno how long i can take this anymore.
what should i do??????
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find other things to do with your time. its not going to help thinking back on the past. what`s gone is gone, and there`s no way back.
find something else to do with your life. go out with your girlfriends, get used to single life .. it`ll take some getting used to, but i think you`ll be so much better after a while. -
i even feel like asking him to be with me again. is it stupid? he will probably take me for granted for the rest of the relationship huh?
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Hi Cornette,
When upon hving a relationship, it bound to have ups and downs, laughter and tears, sweet and sour. This guy have taken ur heart
away through his actions and words. After leaving him, these memories have created a flashback of ur past wonderful relationship with him. And furthermore, it's not easy to forget and to forgive this guy have done to you.
That's maybe why you have this mixed feelings in you.
Failure is wat everybody have to go through and knowing why it fails, is the main ingredient in suceeding in life.
In this type of situation, it's up to urself to believe is he the rite guy for ur life. Would he able to provide you the happiness and the warmth of ur heart. Just follow ur heart and it will show you the way.
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"A relationship is like a rose,
How long it lasts, no one knows;
Love can erase an awful past,
Love can be yours, you'll see at last;
To feel that love, it makes you sigh,
To have it leave, you'd rather die;
You hope you've found that special rose,
'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." -
i even feel like asking him to be with me again. is it stupid? he will probably take me for granted for the rest of the relationship huh?
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Just like wat Dreamload says, go and hv fun, enjoy the company wif ur friends. Take some time off and relax ur mind off.Originally posted by cornetto:i even feel like asking him to be with me again. is it stupid? he will probably take me for granted for the rest of the relationship huh?
Probably it would calm both of you down and see whether he would be sincerely wans to patch back or he just goes astray again. It's not enjoyable to go through this merry-go-round a lot of times. Pls think it through carefully...
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"A relationship is like a rose,
How long it lasts, no one knows;
Love can erase an awful past,
Love can be yours, you'll see at last;
To feel that love, it makes you sigh,
To have it leave, you'd rather die;
You hope you've found that special rose,
'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." -
Cornetto,
Saw another post of yrs in another thread from heavyarm. U mention that u dun feel like living. Well 1st allow me to come to this comment of yrs. Don't ever feel like giving up hope in life, cos u never died, or almost died b4, u dunnoe how good it is to stay alive. Theres so much things to look forward in life, of cos, other than the trouble u r facing now. And its definitely not worth giving up a life for a guy, who isn't even yr hubby yet. Also, judging from yr post, well can roughly tell that u r still young, below 20? Pardon me if i am wrong. Pls, still so young and feel this way already? oh dear, then i must say u r still not mature enuff to handle serious relation yet. It's normal to get upset or even angry over a relationship, i mean, it happen to me b4 also
, but, die is never a solution, u will only upset more pple ard u. So, pls, get this idea out of yr head soon.
Okie, again, think this gonna be a long post so pls bear wif it. Frankly speaking from what u say, even if u patch batch with yr ex-bf, i dun think the 2 of u gonna last also, judging from yr history of breaking up with him. I know, and understand that gers are more softhearted, esp to those they love, so its very natural of you to give in to him when he pleads. But guess for once, u should try to stand yr ground. Try to live a life without him for a few mnths and see how life gets on. Its also a good oppotunities for you to observe him now, see how he is when he's without u, will he turn bad? or will he become a much better person. Who knows rite, maybe u will find out a lot more than when u r blind by love during this period. Its just not advisable for u to go back to him now, seriously speaking, or at least thats what i think. U may end up getting upset/hurt a couple of times more than now.
Its also natural for u to think of him now. I mean, it just happened. Try to indulge yrself into other stuffs, and like i mention in another post (from heavy arm), do something u wish to do for a long time but haven't have the chance to. It may not help much it will definitely make u feel better that tiny whinney bit. I also agreed that its what the 2 of u went through that made a relationship strong, and what you do for him that counts. But MISS, i am sure when you 1st went into the relationship, you know that such things are never fair, NEVER! As long as you feel that its 'zhi de' to do something for him, go ahead, even if it doesn't pay off, at least you wun live in regret, which i am sure u didn't now cos from what u type, can see that you really put in a lot of effort in this relationship. Now that it didn't pay off, the more theres no reason to blame yrself. You tried yr best already, its him who went stray again and again.
Try to get over this soon, yup it takes time but u just got to try. You suffered enuff mentally already, so try not to torture yrself further. I know, all i say may sound like crap but thats how i feel, and hopefully u can understand my command of english as its always been that bad Take Care!
Regards
Recommend you a song - 'Meng Fei Chuan - BU ZHI DE'.
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nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
i agree with atti try to relax and mix with ur friz more oftenOriginally posted by Atti:Cornetto,
Saw another post of yrs in another thread from heavyarm. U mention that u dun feel like living. Well 1st allow me to come to this comment of yrs. Don't ever feel like giving up hope in life, cos u never died, or almost died b4, u dunnoe how good it is to stay alive. Theres so much things to look forward in life, of cos, other than the trouble u r facing now. And its definitely not worth giving up a life for a guy, who isn't even yr hubby yet. Also, judging from yr post, well can roughly tell that u r still young, below 20? Pardon me if i am wrong. Pls, still so young and feel this way already? oh dear, then i must say u r still not mature enuff to handle serious relation yet. It's normal to get upset or even angry over a relationship, i mean, it happen to me b4 also , but, die is never a solution, u will only upset more pple ard u. So, pls, get this idea out of yr head soon.
Okie, again, think this gonna be a long post so pls bear wif it. Frankly speaking from what u say, even if u patch batch with yr ex-bf, i dun think the 2 of u gonna last also, judging from yr history of breaking up with him. I know, and understand that gers are more softhearted, esp to those they love, so its very natural of you to give in to him when he pleads. But guess for once, u should try to stand yr ground. Try to live a life without him for a few mnths and see how life gets on. Its also a good oppotunities for you to observe him now, see how he is when he's without u, will he turn bad? or will he become a much better person. Who knows rite, maybe u will find out a lot more than when u r blind by love during this period. Its just not advisable for u to go back to him now, seriously speaking, or at least thats what i think. U may end up getting upset/hurt a couple of times more than now.
Its also natural for u to think of him now. I mean, it just happened. Try to indulge yrself into other stuffs, and like i mention in another post (from heavy arm), do something u wish to do for a long time but haven't have the chance to. It may not help much it will definitely make u feel better that tiny whinney bit. I also agreed that its what the 2 of u went through that made a relationship strong, and what you do for him that counts. But MISS, i am sure when you 1st went into the relationship, you know that such things are never fair, NEVER! As long as you feel that its 'zhi de' to do something for him, go ahead, even if it doesn't pay off, at least you wun live in regret, which i am sure u didn't now cos from what u type, can see that you really put in a lot of effort in this relationship. Now that it didn't pay off, the more theres no reason to blame yrself. You tried yr best already, its him who went stray again and again.
Try to get over this soon, yup it takes time but u just got to try. You suffered enuff mentally already, so try not to torture yrself further. I know, all i say may sound like crap but thats how i feel, and hopefully u can understand my command of english as its always been that bad Take Care!
Regards
Recommend you a song - 'Meng Fei Chuan - BU ZHI DE'.
get to know more guys and widen ur circles of friz this will do u gd as they will help u not to think of him and when times go on the feeling will fade(it works for me!!)
ps(bu zi de is a very nice song do download it hehe) -
damn right you are .. which is why there is no way you can allow it to carry on .. he`s only going to carry on cheating, no matter how much you care for him .. why dun you go let it out .. tell a friend you trust .. they can give you better emotional support, watch out for you, especially over the inital period when things get tough sometimes.Originally posted by cornetto:i even feel like asking him to be with me again. is it stupid? he will probably take me for granted for the rest of the relationship huh? -
What a jackass for a guy.
cornetto:
Choosing the choice to go back to him is going to make u look like a person who is easy to take advantage of. If he had chosen to stray more than once, then he is not a person which I would call faithful. Think over it. Pick up something or some hobby u would enjoy. Not him, of course. -
It depends on what you mean by "stray".
But from what you've written you friend does not sound very honorable.
IMO, the most valuable things a man can give his lady are truth, honor, loyalty and courage. But in the world we live in, the things of greatest value are often the least sought after.
All that glitters is not gold... -
i have come to my senses already. i am sure that i wanna live without him forever. true, we had been thru' too much before. but we are not meant for each other. i had been too insensible when i said that i wanted him back. i can live without him. i'd definitely lead a better life. the beginning is tough, i must say. but i am not going to allow him to ruin my happiness. i must show him and everyone that i can live my life better without him. and heck, i do not need him to be around on my 21st birthday this coming april. thank you to all of you
[This message has been edited by cornetto (edited 27 February 2001).] -
cornetto:
Happy Birthday, in advance.
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Hmm... think I too late to reply also liaoz... hee hee... But anyway most of it has been said by the others and u r more or less settled and I'm glad u have come to ur senses... Well just want u to know that since u have come into AA, u r part of the family liaoz.. and we haben really welcome u into the family... *Bear huggiez~ cornetto*
Well do keep us updated on how u r getting on.. and also feel free to post.. and do join us on outings.. we're still trying to get the numbers...
Take care....
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
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your birthday happens to fall on the first of april by any chance ?
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lotsa opinions given ..
anyway. .. the vase story ... a porcelain vase .. once smashed will never look the same again ...
dun look back, carry on and you will be able to find someone who is worth your attention and love ... one day .. that person will appear .. be patient you are still young ..
Happi Birthday in advance ...
do take care ..there are others who care as well ...