Simple question but can't find an answer.. Pls help..
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Dear Auntie Agony and Uncle Agony, xiao di desperately needs all ur professional advice here... OK i know a girl 4 mths ago, she's really my dream girl tat i think she should be in the same rank as those angel up on the sky.. We have feelings for each other as tat what she told me but the problem is she still can't really get over her ex(broke off 5 mths ago bcoz of 2 timing her) She told me she needs some time, she said she dun love him anymore its only left with the pain in her heart. BUT out of the sudden she told me she dun wanna waste my time and not to wait for her anymore as in the very begining i told her i'm willing to wait for her to be ready for another relationship. I respect her decision although in my heart i still want to wait.(i'm in my late 20s and she's 4 years younger than me) She treats me very differently from then. Very cold and heartless i would say (nearly a month) but i still refused to give up.Then for the past 2 weeks we r kind of back to normal again for not reason but without anyone of us mentioning abt the past. We talked on the phone for 2 to 3 hours a day. She will feel jealous when i went out or talk on the phone with other girls etc... Seriously i really dun know what she's thinking right now. I'm afraid if i ask her how she feels abt me again, i might lose her once again.. Haiz.. she juz called me again right after she wake up.. It might be a very simple question to u ppl up there tat u might mock at me but i'm right in the picture now hence i'm really very confused, hope i dun confused u ppl too...
Thanks for all of ur advice from the bottom of my heart... 
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Rather be a 'Fool' for love for a fool who might be fooled by this game of love?Originally posted by tequila:Dear Auntie Agony and Uncle Agony, xiao di desperately needs all ur professional advice here... OK i know a girl 4 mths ago, she's really my dream girl tat i think she should be in the same rank as those angel up on the sky.. We have feelings for each other as tat what she told me but the problem is she still can't really get over her ex(broke off 5 mths ago bcoz of 2 timing her) She told me she needs some time, she said she dun love him anymore its only left with the pain in her heart. BUT out of the sudden she told me she dun wanna waste my time and not to wait for her anymore as in the very begining i told her i'm willing to wait for her to be ready for another relationship. I respect her decision although in my heart i still want to wait.(i'm in my late 20s and she's 4 years younger than me) She treats me very differently from then. Very cold and heartless i would say (nearly a month) but i still refused to give up.Then for the past 2 weeks we r kind of back to normal again for not reason but without anyone of us mentioning abt the past. We talked on the phone for 2 to 3 hours a day. She will feel jealous when i went out or talk on the phone with other girls etc... Seriously i really dun know what she's thinking right now. I'm afraid if i ask her how she feels abt me again, i might lose her once again.. Haiz.. she juz called me again right after she wake up.. It might be a very simple question to u ppl up there tat u might mock at me but i'm right in the picture now hence i'm really very confused, hope i dun confused u ppl too... Thanks for all of ur advice from the bottom of my heart...
You may seem to like her alot, however considering what has happened to her in the past, the emotional pressure.
Things between you and her seems to move to fast.
Shall i help you out in telling you what might be in her mind?
She would question if you would be like her former boyfriend.
She would question herself whether she she could trust herself trusting you.
She might ask you not to wait for her, so that you won't be tormented and she won't be selfish.
she might be jealous of you talking to other girls on the phone cos she was 'two - timed' before brother!
She might be jealous be she likes you, but she's not ready to jump into another journey.
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Now you could be confuse because, you really like her and you want her to be by your side. In another word, you want to secure her.
But i say to you that you're moving too fast. (IMO)
Be patient please.
Continue sharing and caring till both of you have decide(i mean the very mature and mutual kind of decision) that the both of you want to get into a deeper level of relationship.
Back to my quote earlier on.
If you choose the first. Then be one which will not stop caring and loving. All the best to you.
If you choose the latter, don't cry and regret that you never had given yourself a chance to go for (possibly)'your once in a lifetime.'
Cheers -
Thanks for ur reply, i really appreciate tat... kind of relieve after reading ur msg, its exactly what i think and what i want but juz not sure whether its right or wrong.. For ur infro i din ask her to be my gf as i know she's not ready... i dun mind the wait and i will carry on shower her with my care and love... cheersOriginally posted by M©+square:Rather be a 'Fool' for love for a fool who might be fooled by this game of love?
You may seem to like her alot, however considering what has happened to her in the past, the emotional pressure.
Things between you and her seems to move to fast.
Shall i help you out in telling you what might be in her mind?
She would question if you would be like her former boyfriend.
She would question herself whether she she could trust herself trusting you.
She might ask you not to wait for her, so that you won't be tormented and she won't be selfish.
she might be jealous of you talking to other girls on the phone cos she was 'two - timed' before brother!
She might be jealous be she likes you, but she's not ready to jump into another journey.
___________________________________________________
Now you could be confuse because, you really like her and you want her to be by your side. In another word, you want to secure her.
But i say to you that you're moving too fast. (IMO)
Be patient please.
Continue sharing and caring till both of you have decide(i mean the very mature and mutual kind of decision) that the both of you want to get into a deeper level of relationship.
Back to my quote earlier on.
If you choose the first. Then be one which will not stop caring and loving. All the best to you.
If you choose the latter, don't cry and regret that you never had given yourself a chance to go for (possibly)'your once in a lifetime.'
Cheers
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There is this trend in this modern days, of people revealing feelings, expressing their chasing actions not long after the breakage of the girl's previous relationship.Originally posted by tequila:Dear Auntie Agony and Uncle Agony, xiao di desperately needs all ur professional advice here... OK i know a girl 4 mths ago, she's really my dream girl tat i think she should be in the same rank as those angel up on the sky.. We have feelings for each other as tat what she told me but the problem is she still can't really get over her ex(broke off 5 mths ago bcoz of 2 timing her) She told me she needs some time, she said she dun love him anymore its only left with the pain in her heart. BUT out of the sudden she told me she dun wanna waste my time and not to wait for her anymore as in the very begining i told her i'm willing to wait for her to be ready for another relationship. I respect her decision although in my heart i still want to wait.(i'm in my late 20s and she's 4 years younger than me) She treats me very differently from then. Very cold and heartless i would say (nearly a month) but i still refused to give up.Then for the past 2 weeks we r kind of back to normal again for not reason but without anyone of us mentioning abt the past. We talked on the phone for 2 to 3 hours a day. She will feel jealous when i went out or talk on the phone with other girls etc... Seriously i really dun know what she's thinking right now. I'm afraid if i ask her how she feels abt me again, i might lose her once again.. Haiz.. she juz called me again right after she wake up.. It might be a very simple question to u ppl up there tat u might mock at me but i'm right in the picture now hence i'm really very confused, hope i dun confused u ppl too... Thanks for all of ur advice from the bottom of my heart... 
When you express your liking at her confusion state and if she accept it - it is the beginning of your mistake because this relation would either be shortlived OR alot of crisis before the rainbow could be seen. You are be used as a substitute and you just never know.
She did the right thing: To back out and be herself. After when she regain back herself - she could be willing to give you a chance (You mentioned for no reason the both of you very good with one another). In CloUdiSm remix III - Art of Love, War & Romance (LWR) - presently, you are having relative advantage, standing on good grounds.
Advice?
Take it slow - you have the time and could afford to. Take this period to know and understand her further. Don't talk about the past - but you could speak on present thoughts - like throwing in a few scenario question (Is it true that girls all like bastard guys, etc of crap ) and listen to her comments on it.
My suggestion is that: Your actions must be consistent advancement (There are other possible tactical advancement, but stick to this) - don't say anything about your feelings yet. Let this tension brew. She will eventually ask you about your feelings because she has unknowingly slip into your spell. Then tell her that you din wanted to pressure her or anything and you know that when she is ready, she will tell you.
The key element is 'Consistent advancement' and keeping the tension.
P.S: 'The longer you take to prepare your spell, the more potent it is.' - LWR - CloUdiSm'
Cheers -
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Feel so nice after reading what u have wrote... Thanks Yunhaier... Thanks for ur advice. Actually i have typed this letter 3 days ago but juz hestitating whether shd i sent or not.. i normally will bottled my trouble rather than spill it out... when i get to know her i have already know tat she's still in the state of recovering. I did told her that i dun want to rush her into a new relationship in such a short time so i'm willing to wait for her regardless how long is it. We r juz like a couple without physically contact. I'm juz worry she will think i will be like her ex as my ex wants me to patch back and tats another ger who likes me... i told her everything as i think tats the way tat i can build the trust in her.. And i told the 2 girls i have someone in my mind liao, feel so bad tat i have somehow hurt them. Am i wrong to tell the girl i like abt this? -
Shes in pain, shes in confusion hell both of you are in confusion. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, does she. Wants you to stop waiting, but gets jealous when you talk to other girls. Now thats just terrible, maybe as she though on, in the way she feels she is not good enough for you. Its always a possibilty especially if they just broke off from a 'close' relationship (know what i mean). I think you should go for it, i mean how often is it that you find someone you really like right? I think you just have to let her know that no matter what you still like to give the relationship a shot.
This is by no means pofessional advice, i just hope you would be able to slove your problem soon. And have a nice ending to it -
where is master's post?
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That's the thing about people. Trust is like a promise - as long as you don't say anything (provided it is not morally wrong to do so) - it doesn't mean anything. But however when you did mention things that you could do well, by not mentioning - you lose this relative advantage you are at - Advantage ground.Originally posted by tequila:Feel so nice after reading what u have wrote... Thanks Yunhaier... Thanks for ur advice. Actually i have typed this letter 3 days ago but juz hestitating whether shd i sent or not.. i normally will bottled my trouble rather than spill it out... when i get to know her i have already know tat she's still in the state of recovering. I did told her that i dun want to rush her into a new relationship in such a short time so i'm willing to wait for her regardless how long is it. We r juz like a couple without physically contact. I'm juz worry she will think i will be like her ex as my ex wants me to patch back and tats another ger who likes me... i told her everything as i think tats the way tat i can build the trust in her.. And i told the 2 girls i have someone in my mind liao, feel so bad tat i have somehow hurt them. Am i wrong to tell the girl i like abt this? 
Your ex wants to patch back with you - think she has little chance because you are interested in this girl now. Then during your conversation, since you have told her about your ex and stuff, try to draw the topic towards this issue and make comments like, 'I don't think I will go back to her anymore.'
She will ask why
Tell her, people has to move on and its emotionally tiring to be stagnant and holding onto the past. Well, if this relation were to last - it would have last time and wouldn't have walk on separate ways. Tell her that you have move on from your previous relationship and now your mind is fresh.
If she mention about you liking anyone now - joking matter you could hint that it is her and quickly change subject.
Ex are a nuisence when it comes to chasing someone new - because people always this tendancy to get jealous over a past figure. But you indirectly cause her to have that thoughts, you are at fault too isn't it?
Cheers -
[quote]Originally posted by Forever84:
Thanks Forever84... She did mention tat i'm too gd for her but i think its the other way round. Maybe like wat u said she really confused or i would say phobia right now..Thanks again for ur encouragement, i will definitely go for it.. I wish u well too...
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Thanks for ur recommendation... hope to see master appear soon.. hope u have a nice day..Originally posted by Lim Chu Kang:where is master's post? -
[quote]Originally posted by Yunhaier:
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I have make it clear to her that i won't accept my ex or either the other girl... And the reason is something like what u suggested. Thanks anyway. But i dare not to say or hint to her i'm still waiting for her, i'm worried that it might backfired.. Yalor, its partly my fault for making her jealous but dun u think its gd as at least u know she still cares for u.. Anyway tats what i think and i'm so happy on tat day when i knew tat... u r really a great help, how i wish i can get to know u earlier.. Wish u all the best, my frenz... -
No probs man! You will be fine, trust me, if things goes according to plan. The art of chasing boils down to the art of seduction. In the warfare of love - either you seduce or being seduced.Originally posted by tequila:I have make it clear to her that i won't accept my ex or either the other girl... And the reason is something like what u suggested. Thanks anyway. But i dare not to say or hint to her i'm still waiting for her, i'm worried that it might backfired.. Yalor, its partly my fault for making her jealous but dun u think its gd as at least u know she still cares for u.. Anyway tats what i think and i'm so happy on tat day when i knew tat... u r really a great help, how i wish i can get to know u earlier.. Wish u all the best, my frenz...
Take care!
/me throw smoke bomb vanished into thin air. -
I hope so... / me take out my machine gun and spray... CHARGE!!!Originally posted by Yunhaier:No probs man! You will be fine, trust me, if things goes according to plan. The art of chasing boils down to the art of seduction. In the warfare of love - either you seduce or being seduced.
Take care!
/me throw smoke bomb vanished into thin air. -
She is afraid of being hurt again...Perhaps she is not sure of her feelings..could be rather complicated..but she might think that since u like her and are willing to wait for her..you shouldn't get near to other girls..That's what i think..
It takes time to heal wounds..Her fears will only go away if she meet someone who is really true to her and convince her that she will not get hurt again..Of course, you must be able to open her heart and enter the door...One can only forget the pain when she truly loves another whole heartedly...understand? -
i think you should just ask her. afterall she's a ger, u can't expect her to say "i'm ready now will you ask me to be your gf?"Originally posted by tequila:For ur infro i din ask her to be my gf as i know she's not ready...
there will never be a time when she is ready, on her own, it could take her as long as forever to forget about her ex. take the 1st step, she may never forget her ex, but she will be more ready to accept you in future (if she doesn't accept you then).
gers are fickleminded. you have to compel them. -
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Thanks for ur reply baobao... As a matter of fact i din get near to other gals, they r the one who look for me.. in fact after my last relationship i feel really exhausted in bgr i deleted all my female frenz contacts from my mobile... She's the one who relight my fire.. Thanks or ur advice, maybe i really shd draw a clear with the opposite sex in order to convince her i'm not like her ex... I will do my very best to open out heart... then i can march in... Wish u all the best in ur love life... -
Thanks for making the effort to reply, i appreciate tat but sorry that i dun really agree with what u said.. Maybe its bcoz u r not in my position. First thing is somehow rather i will be giving her more stress as she had a lot of it in her work, can't bear to do tat. Moreover i dun think she will take forever to forget her ex, i believe in good things need more effort and time to attain hence i dun mind the wait. Can see that she's still not ready yet, i dun want a half-hearted relationship either... I'm very contended with the attention and treatment she gave it to me right now.. Perhaps this is my retribution for the things i have done when i was young... Well, i will definitely ask her when i feel that she's ready.... Last but not least i wish u all the best in ur love life...Originally posted by nismoS132:i think you should just ask her. afterall she's a ger, u can't expect her to say "i'm ready now will you ask me to be your gf?"
there will never be a time when she is ready, on her own, it could take her as long as forever to forget about her ex. take the 1st step, she may never forget her ex, but she will be more ready to accept you in future (if she doesn't accept you then).
gers are fickleminded. you have to compel them. -
Don't stay away from other girls because of her..Can s till be frens..Originally posted by tequila:[
Thanks for ur reply baobao... As a matter of fact i din get near to other gals, they r the one who look for me.. in fact after my last relationship i feel really exhausted in bgr i deleted all my female frenz contacts from my mobile... She's the one who relight my fire.. Thanks or ur advice, maybe i really shd draw a clear with the opposite sex in order to convince her i'm not like her ex... I will do my very best to open out heart... then i can march in... Wish u all the best in ur love life...
Thanks and blessing to you too...^^ Take care, hoping to hear good news from you (",) -
okok... but for her case guess i need to be more cautious and extra effort. Seriously speaking if i can have her i dun mind give up the rest of my gal frenz in order to rest assured her... Alright, will definitely inform u if i'm able to win her heart over.. U take care..Originally posted by browniebaobao:Don't stay away from other girls because of her..Can s till be frens..
Thanks and blessing to you too...^^ Take care, hoping to hear good news from you (",) -
Nice guy..All the best! ^^
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U r a nice gal too baobao.. nice talking to u here. All the best..Originally posted by browniebaobao: Nice guy..All the best! ^^
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How come got my name here? 
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someone recommended to me that u r a very gd anaylist leh... can tell me ur point of view to xiao di mah?? Will be very grateful to u...Originally posted by Master -_-: How come got my name here? -
wait ah.. too happy ah.. let me settle down on my meditation seat firstOriginally posted by tequila:someone recommended to me that u r a very gd anaylist leh... can tell me ur point of view to xiao di mah?? Will be very grateful to u... -
ok.. i will wait..Originally posted by Master -_-:wait ah.. too happy ah.. let me settle down on my meditation seat first