Hello Ande,
This is gonna be a long post, so i hope u will bear with it. May go offtrack a bit too cos will just type what i feel and think. Hope you don't mind.
Well I can see that u keep 'falling in love' with pple during yr poly days. U mentioned b4 a few relationships in yr poly days, oh mine and thats a lot of relations! Abt one every yr or more? Maybe u wasn't serious into serious relationship then, and that you just need some1 there to talk and care for you only. Guess u like the feeling of being love by some1. So, failed relationships are bound to happen then, cos i think the main problem lies in you yrself...... dun mind i say that. And yes of cos i do agree wif you, age plays an important part. You are just not ready then.
Well think things just got worst for you in NS, i mean yr need to be love and some1 2 talk to as days goes by in the army i suppose (most guys went through this stage, including me, so we know what it is like, esp in the beginning part). And i totally agree with DIM SUM (he gave some really excellent reply, really

). If you are prepared to let the ger know that you like them, be prepared for the worst, cos things can go either way. Or if you are happy just being a friend of hers, then keep quiet. But well, i know it won't be easy, and no guys, i mean most guys could not stand seeing the ger he like behaving intimating with other guys, so its not easy being friends also. But then, in yr post, i get the impression that you are rushing things a little too fast in some of the relationship, am i rite to say that?
Now that completed yr studies and NS, maybe its really a good time for you to reflect yrself a little and see if you are prepared to go into relationships. Don't let the past affect you cos its part and parcel of growing up. Many guys went through all the stuffs you went through b4, and i am one of them. Its never easy to forget some1 or the hurts u get b4 but try not to think of it. It wun help u in anyway or do you any good.
Okie, now lets take a look at yr problem now.
1) If you are scared of being rejected, well then don't approach them cos you are not prepared for that. Wait until u r serious (cos if u really like some1, i am sure somehow we will find oppotunities and chances to know the person better, we are no longer sec sch kids are we?

).
2) Regain yr confident slowly. I mean it aren't gonna come just like that. Once you start yr 1st step and the ger got response, yr confident will slowly come back.
3) Some gers who u like, oh my god! Aren't there suppose to be one only? Think u r seriously not prepared for a relationship yet. If you know that you dun stand even a 1% chance (cos you know they dun like you), i will suggest keeping quiet cos you may end up losing more friends only. Humans only compared abt looks and other things with other guys only when he is not confident or at the losing end. This is only an excuse to make one forget abt the ger. Actually we know this fact: If the ger like the guy, somehow it doesn't matter if he is tall handsome or anything. You yrself know this too, even if you can't compare with other guy in other fields, yr love for the ger will definitely win over all matters. Errmmm get what i am trying to say (paiseh my english not powerful).
4)If you do not know what to look for in a relationship, then don't go for one for the sake of going into one, cos you r just not prepared to have one! Wait for yr Ms Right, i mean the real Ms Right to come b4 you do anytime. Meantime, like i mention earlier, take this time to reflect past experiences, see where and what went wrong.
Everyone in the world wish to be with the one he/she truely love, of cos. But, the world is never plan in such a way that u will get what u want. How to widen social circle? Hmmm..... good qns, heh...... i donnoe myself. Though the net is a good way but i personnally dun believe lor. Cos many crappy pple ard (in irc maybe :p ), maybe other pple think i am one of them too, heh, who knows.........
Think the best way is still get to know yr friends' friends........ sorry can't help u much in this aspect. Nevertheless, wishing you all the best in yr future relationships.

Take care oso.
Regards
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nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe"
[This message has been edited by Atti (edited 09 February 2001).]