I have natural social anxiety due to being bullied a lot in the past so I have naturally closed up to people these days. Plus the fact that I have confided a lot in my ex-best friend and she uses my weakness to insult and humiliate me during arguments make me even more distrustful of humans in general and I ended up having panic attacks and extreme social anxiety these days. To be honest, I will never forget what my "best friend" did to me, and I probably will hate her for my entire life.
Anyway, the issue now here is, whenever I bump into past acquaintances (friends of the bullies), or even the mutual friend of my ex-best friend.... I can't help but to hesitate saying hi to them. Seeing them brings back a lot of hurtful memories even though they didn't really do anything to me. I really don't know why they still have to come up and say hi to me when they saw me on walking on the street. Hey people...if you are in this situation, what would you do? When they tapped your shoulder and said hi to you, would you bother to respond to them?
u know the old monk and young monk and the woman story?
Your social anxiety shows you lack maturity. Mature people are people who think logically and not let paranoid thoughts affect them. They were friends of the people you don't get along with, but this doesn't mean they always talk to your ex best friend. You don't have to reveal much, just say hi back to them. It is time for you to move on and find new friends.
I think if you clearly know that they're there and they know too, then by not even acknowledging them makes you look snobbish and basically shows that you are at war with them. If you're happy with that, then go ahead.
Be the bigger-person and say hello and have abit of small-talk if you want to.
As for moving on, as mentioned spend less time worrying about them and focus more of your efforts finding new friends and doing the things you enjoy. Its okay to be upset, but important to move on too.
'add oil' okay.
Say hello if you want, or just walk away if you prefer not to talk....![]()
deja vu or remembrances of things past
Originally posted by mancha:
gamsahamnida~
No problem, just say hi to them and talk to them.....
Ask them what they are doing there, how they've been doing so far, and ask them for phone number when you part ways.
I do that often.
Human mind is a strange thing. I remember one time when I was young, I was working in a committee. I had a committee chair who was rather unfriendly and strict. I just had very negative feelings and it manifest itself strangely. I had aversions towards women who look like her. Funny huh ?
But now not anymore.
In life, it goes by phases, just like building BTO flats, once it is over, it will never come back, what is left is memories, but all these phases created what you are, where you are, and why you are here, if someone from the past visited you, take it as a new phase, a new leaf because whatever is over, is over, you learnt from it and move on. And as you grow old, these memories start to fade away and hopefully you dun end up with dementia or Azheimer or Sc...
Just say hi if you feel like it. Just smile and say you've gotta go if you don't wanna talk too long. Don't get all too serious about it....There are more important things in life.
You can acknowledge them, smile only, don't admit you are that person they call or just walk away. The choice is yours.
Hope those you meet are still alive, if those already past away and you meet them in public during nite time, 我ç¥�ç¦�ä½
If we mutually acknowledge each other, just a simple smile or nod will do... no need for all the exaggerated hugs and screams which you see in movies...
well, some are old enemies, could be former colleague who make you out of job or opposite classmate who dun see you eye to eye. It could bring back angry moments and make a lousy day for you.