help my friend.......
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as a guy, i dunno how to offer advice to my friend which is a gal
my friend, the gal:
friendly on the outside but can be considered quite a passive girl) e.g. wait for her girl friends to ask her out), age 23. Generally thinks that having a bf is a bit of a chore and looking for a long term, stable relationship.
the situation:
my friend got to noe a guy 4months ago. she interested to get to know him better slowly and carefully. drop few very subtle hints to the guy, but seriously their stage of development still a bit far from B/GF stage. The guy seemed interested in her to an extent of i quote '75%' showhand. so says the girl 6th sense. but the guy recently gave mixed signals, like ask her out but she busy so reject but got say reason...but the guy did not follow up. so the girl is confused a bit and also a bit angry and gave the guy cold shoulder. but now the girl dunno what to do liao seemed like no contact. so far it has almost been the guy initiating the contact abt 80% of the time. and according to my friend, the guy seemed quite confident abt himself 1 but got exams coming up.
question is what should the girl do? i dunno how to offer her good advice man given her personality and situation. if only i know the guy then can do something abt it -
tell her that she should ask him out after his exams are over..since he's the one who 's been initiating most of the time, it's courtesy to return the favour, especially if she's kinda interesting in knowing the guy better. Tell her not to ai mai ai mai lidat, then the guy will think she's not interested and decide to move on..then ur friend will kpkb and say it's always the guy's fault
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think if i m the guy, i will think the gal is playing hard to get..since having an exam, might as well concentrate on tat..worst thing is at the sametime, he might come across another gal.....den he might just gone with the air...
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i did ask her that....but she like totally turned off by the idea lor. so far her last case also because she never do anything so the guy slipped away. at the rate she is going, she might be left on the shelf......she is a firm believer of guy chase girl theoryOriginally posted by Syusaku:tell her that she should ask him out after his exams are over..since he's the one who 's been initiating most of the time, it's courtesy to return the favour, especially if she's kinda interesting in knowing the guy better. Tell her not to ai mai ai mai lidat, then the guy will think she's not interested and decide to move on..then ur friend will kpkb and say it's always the guy's fault -
i also think so......hahaha but my friend say she accepted the guy's invitation to ask her out the nite b4 her birthday so is a good enough hint for him to carry on with his confidence.Originally posted by Inzaghi:think if i m the guy, i will think the gal is playing hard to get..since having an exam, might as well concentrate on tat..worst thing is at the sametime, he might come across another gal.....den he might just gone with the air...
i hope girls out there can give some good advice as i'll ask my friend to read this so that i no need to help her myself....hahaha
she'll probably listen to what girls say and not guys. -
what the hell. maybe tell her dun expect too much?Originally posted by Cerebral_Assassin:i did ask her that....but she like totally turned off by the idea lor. so far her last case also because she never do anything so the guy slipped away. at the rate she is going, she might be left on the shelf......she is a firm believer of guy chase girl theory
the guy did initiate lor, somemore most of the time leh. if she dun reciprocate, then where is the guy going to find the confidence and courage to continue on?
imagine the guy ask her out and she rejected, yah with reasons but how will the guy know if its real reasons or just excuses? even the guy with the most confidence will get seriously injured by this act man. takes a lot to make the first move you know?
imagine i offer you my hand to shake for the first time and you rejected it. why would i offer it to you again man? -
HMmm studing for exams can be quite stressful... maybe the girl should give like some support to the guy..... ` then carry on after exams
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HMmm studing for exams can be quite stressful... maybe the girl should give like some support to the guy..... ` then carry on after exams
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Hi Cerebral_Assassin,Originally posted by Cerebral_Assassin:as a guy, i dunno how to offer advice to my friend which is a gal
my friend, the gal:
friendly on the outside but can be considered quite a passive girl) e.g. wait for her girl friends to ask her out), age 23. Generally thinks that having a bf is a bit of a chore and looking for a long term, stable relationship.
the situation:
my friend got to noe a guy 4months ago. she interested to get to know him better slowly and carefully. drop few very subtle hints to the guy, but seriously their stage of development still a bit far from B/GF stage. The guy seemed interested in her to an extent of i quote '75%' showhand. so says the girl 6th sense. but the guy recently gave mixed signals, like ask her out but she busy so reject but got say reason...but the guy did not follow up. so the girl is confused a bit and also a bit angry and gave the guy cold shoulder. but now the girl dunno what to do liao seemed like no contact. so far it has almost been the guy initiating the contact abt 80% of the time. and according to my friend, the guy seemed quite confident abt himself 1 but got exams coming up.
question is what should the girl do? i dunno how to offer her good advice man given her personality and situation. if only i know the guy then can do something abt it
Hmm... Now is exams time maybe the guy is busying studying that's why never call the girl.. Since she knows that the guy is interested in her.. She doesn't have to worry so much.. Moreover.. he ask her out but she couldn't make it.. and reason is given...
Maybe after exams, the girl can msg him like something "Hey you finish exams already right? SO how was it?? Everything's ok?? Can pass anot??" Start with a conversation first.. and see the guy's reaction and reply.. Then slowly ask him whether wanna come out celebrate and have a dinner together..
Actually.. i don't really think is a good start for girls to ask guys out.. But since the guy has ask her out but she couldn't make it.. She can grab this chance and ask him out.. Saying a make up for that last time...
One reminder.. if she likes the guy and the guy likes her... But she wants to know more about him first right.. Tell her.. Be herself when she's with him.. And try to go out 1 v 1 is better.. Don't show or react any signs to him that she is so interested in him and wan to get closer to him... Try not to do that.. Unless she's so 100% confident that this guy likes her that much too.. and having signs of getting her as a potential.. then slowly slowly she can hint him or what... Don't rush things.. Take it real slow!!
CHeerS!