Haiz!
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recently quarrel with my boyfriend, we have been together for 1year and 4months. but on last saturday we had a HUGE quarrel that make me realise he has been taking me for granted.
i sms and call him but he don't care about me. just now i sent a sms asking him whether he wants to stay on the relationship, he give me a reply: "anything, as you like." i felt so devastated. 
the feeling he gave me is he doesn't care about this relationship anymore. but i cant find myself moving on. what to do? i have been losing sleep this few days. -
When pple are angry...any words can come out from the mouth....
cherish wat u have -
Originally posted by TuTu_Car:When pple are angry...any words can come out from the mouth....
cherish wat u have i want to cherish but i don't think i have the chance to do it. he don't even bother to sms or call me. -
well..as wat my signature says..tt's my life motto too..and it makes me stay on wif my bf for 6 years..there's up and down..in a relationship..there will be storm..rain..thunder..but as long as u remember..after every storm..there will always be rainbow!! cheer up..
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right.. u stay on in a reln becos of a "motto"?
well that's wat it implies anyway.
the cliche says "ai qing shi bu ke yi mian qiang de" (sorree hor my cheena very bad dunno correct anot) and it's true isn't it?
i do agree with cherishing wat u have now, but i find that statement rather irrelevant here lor. i mean it seems he is treating her in a less than satisfactory way, and she is still to cherish him? wat if he starts beating her up? is she still to cherish him?
the problem here isn't really about cherishing or not cherishing one another. it's about (from the little info given) someone (the guy) just losing interest over time. he slowly stopped loving her (if IN FACT he ever loved her in the first place). i think wat needs to be done is to trash things out, and talk about it. cheesy is obviously upset that he's ignoring her, and taking the "soft route" to his attention, not wanting to upset him. i reckon she should take her stand and voice out to him, call him up and say u wanna meet and talk and be firm and assertive.
if he's avoiding her constantly then wat kind of bf is he? of course u could choose to swallow it and wait for his timing, or u could just be a strong woman and do wat u have to do.
i dun believe in staying on in a reln where one person doesn't love the other (anymore). sometimes it may be VERY hard to end it becos of all kinds of reasons, been together for very long, timing not right (to end it), family and friends all know each other etc etc, but when there's no love, the others mean jack sh[/i]it.
so cheesy, hope u can talk to him to determine how he feels about u now. not to cherish blindly and not knowing wat the hell is going on in his head. -
Originally posted by Angel^_^:well..as wat my signature says..tt's my life motto too..and it makes me stay on wif my bf for 6 years..there's up and down..in a relationship..there will be storm..rain..thunder..but as long as u remember..after every storm..there will always be rainbow!! cheer up..
wah! how do you mantain that! so glad to know there are real true love in this world. Ger! keep up that good work! it's great to hear some good news when i am sad 
my best friend feels that my boyfriend and i have no feelings for each other but we are used to each other therefore we are still together. i wonder what she says is the truth 
she even asks me this question: "do i still love my boyfriend or is it i get used to him with me around she ask me to differentiate 
i am soOo confused -
what jOhO says is the truth and i'm very happy somebody can really read my mind. well i have just trash half of the things out.
1st) He says he still love and care about me alot but i doubt. He don't even call or sms since the day we quarrel.
2nd) Reason for not calling or sms me is: He is confused. Confused about what He says don't know.
Haiz. That's the information i can get from him. I strongly feel that he don't care about me and i have been taken granted for.
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well dear..when im wif him..my parents object..well..we used 1 1/2 years to prove to my parents tt we're really in love..finally they accepted him..now very close together wif my parents..during the 6 years..we've been up and down..and yes..we do break off..guess tt it's bcoz we exchanged harsh words..or rather..im the one who always throwing temper..and it took me 3 years to change my stupid attitude..
my bf once hv the same attitude as yr bf..he hardly sms me..let alone giving me calls..(well..i only let him cool down for 3 hours nia..hehe..bad temper loh..)and i..well..very impatient loh..thinking tt he dun care abt our RS..toking in such a cold tone..doesn't seem to bother tt much liao..say he wanna to think..well..come on girls..we sometimes really kinda hard to please..if they nv reply us when we tok..we will say they dun care..they're mute"..or toking to the wall..we'll feel angry..but if they reply us..we'll think they're trying to "tok back" at us..feel angry again..*ironic*
but anyway..i believe tt most of the guys tend to be on the quiet side..when they face any problem in bgr..they'll keep quiet..during arguements..they keep quiet too..ask him wat happen.."i dunno.." ask him how he think.."i dunno.." ask him wat to do.."i dunno.."
i think yr bf really need time to cool down..doesn't sms or call u doesn't mean he heck care abt u..they do concern abt u..but they dunno how to express..
if he "ignore" u..for a long time..den try to hv a tok wif him..but if he only did tt for few mins..few hours..or 2 days..well..be fair to him..dun give him a sentence so fast..
sometimes..we need to think..cool down..be alone..think alone..be fair to yrself and yr bf..dun think too much..cheer up~ -
Hi CheEsy,Originally posted by CheEsy:recently quarrel with my boyfriend, we have been together for 1year and 4months. but on last saturday we had a HUGE quarrel that make me realise he has been taking me for granted. i sms and call him but he don't care about me. just now i sent a sms asking him whether he wants to stay on the relationship, he give me a reply: "anything, as you like." i felt so devastated. the feeling he gave me is he doesn't care about this relationship anymore. but i cant find myself moving on. what to do? i have been losing sleep this few days.
What makes you realise that he took you for granted?? Is it jus becos after this huge conflicts you both had.. and suddenly he jus hack care everything?? That's why you feel being taken for granted? And after this 1 year plus of relationship.. now then you come to realise this...
Well, I dunno what's the topic you guys quarrelling about.. cos you never state.. What is the main issue that lead to such a HUGE arguement?? Yes of cos he will be confused.. and for now.. he doesn't know what is the thing that is confusing him.. He couldn't find an answer to it..neither do you.. Right now.. i think you should give him more time to do some thinking for himself.. and this relation... You ask him such a question now.. And the quarrel matter is still lingering in his mind.. Which til now he still doesn't know what to do.. And then of cos.. Such reply from him will come out from his mouth..
Let him have a few days of his own.. And sort out his thoughts.. Meanwhile you can do some soul-searching..and see what's wrong with this relation... After maybe another 2-3 days or so.. Call him out and have a nice talk with him..
Unsolve the problem that comes between you and him.. And see what he got to say.. I'm sure there will be still a chance for you both to revive this 1 year plus relation... Unless things turn out to be very bad than expected.. But no matter what.. This has to be solved.. He cant leave you alone jus like that.. No explanation given.. Whether to continue a not.......
Anyway.. I dun think he doesn't care about you anymore.. Jus like that.. After a quarrel, always need time to cool down and calm down the feelings.. You can expect straight after a quarrel everythin will be back to the same again.. as if nothing had happened... Maybe he still QI TAO SHANG..
If he really don't bother about you.. One thing might be.. the feelings and chemistry for you is gone.. And he couldn't find a way or a reason to break up with you.. Cos he's scared that he might hurt you or.. he don't wan to be a so-called "bad guy" here... Jus so coincident.. both had a quarrel.. and this could be a reason for him to get away... This is jus an assumption!!!! Dun take it so seriously.. Cos I have no idea on what's the arguement about...
But then, i think that it isn't that major afterall.. No problems can be solved.. Is see whether you wanna find a solution to it.. or jus like it rot!! Give him more time ok?? then maybe after you guys can have a talk again.. when both parties are emotionally stable.. After that then see how it goes.. Try not to qaurrel ok?? Jus talk and have a chat.. Don't blow your temper up so easily.. It'll jus spoils everything...
Don't pressurised yourself too much.. Even if things doesn;t work out as what you want.. Life still goes on.. You need to move on and start a new fresh ahead alright..
Take care pal!! I hope you'll be doing fine!!
Cheers! -
Experience does shape people doesn't it?Originally posted by Angel^_^:well dear..when im wif him..my parents object..well..we used 1 1/2 years to prove to my parents tt we're really in love..finally they accepted him..now very close together wif my parents..during the 6 years..we've been up and down..and yes..we do break off..guess tt it's bcoz we exchanged harsh words..or rather..im the one who always throwing temper..and it took me 3 years to change my stupid attitude..
my bf once hv the same attitude as yr bf..he hardly sms me..let alone giving me calls..(well..i only let him cool down for 3 hours nia..hehe..bad temper loh..)and i..well..very impatient loh..thinking tt he dun care abt our RS..toking in such a cold tone..doesn't seem to bother tt much liao..say he wanna to think..well..come on girls..we sometimes really kinda hard to please..if they nv reply us when we tok..we will say they dun care..they're mute"..or toking to the wall..we'll feel angry..but if they reply us..we'll think they're trying to "tok back" at us..feel angry again..*ironic*
but anyway..i believe tt most of the guys tend to be on the quiet side..when they face any problem in bgr..they'll keep quiet..during arguements..they keep quiet too..ask him wat happen.."i dunno.." ask him how he think.."i dunno.." ask him wat to do.."i dunno.."
i think yr bf really need time to cool down..doesn't sms or call u doesn't mean he heck care abt u..they do concern abt u..but they dunno how to express..
if he "ignore" u..for a long time..den try to hv a tok wif him..but if he only did tt for few mins..few hours..or 2 days..well..be fair to him..dun give him a sentence so fast..
sometimes..we need to think..cool down..be alone..think alone..be fair to yrself and yr bf..dun think too much..cheer up~
well..come on girls..we sometimes really kinda hard to please..if they nv reply us when we tok..we will say they dun care..they're mute"..or toking to the wall..we'll feel angry..but if they reply us..we'll think they're trying to "tok back" at us..feel angry again..
You are practicing empathy and reflecting upon yourself - good work. Anyway, a period of 6 years (and initial parent objection) - come on... I am sure you would grow and mature alot from this relationship. Well, if things were to be so smooth sailing - I am sure it would ended long ago and both of you will be walking on separate path.
To steer through a stormy night - at least you know that you ain't afraid of the thunder and heavy rain. When you brave it through and think back - all the courage and bravery executed will be sweet memories.
Cheers -
Wow.. ok lar.. reply for me liao.Originally posted by SunRisE:Hi CheEsy,
What makes you realise that he took you for granted?? Is it jus becos after this huge conflicts you both had.. and suddenly he jus hack care everything?? That's why you feel being taken for granted? And after this 1 year plus of relationship.. now then you come to realise this...
Well, I dunno what's the topic you guys quarrelling about.. cos you never state.. What is the main issue that lead to such a HUGE arguement?? Yes of cos he will be confused.. and for now.. he doesn't know what is the thing that is confusing him.. He couldn't find an answer to it..neither do you.. Right now.. i think you should give him more time to do some thinking for himself.. and this relation... You ask him such a question now.. And the quarrel matter is still lingering in his mind.. Which til now he still doesn't know what to do.. And then of cos.. Such reply from him will come out from his mouth..
Let him have a few days of his own.. And sort out his thoughts.. Meanwhile you can do some soul-searching..and see what's wrong with this relation... After maybe another 2-3 days or so.. Call him out and have a nice talk with him..
Unsolve the problem that comes between you and him.. And see what he got to say.. I'm sure there will be still a chance for you both to revive this 1 year plus relation... Unless things turn out to be very bad than expected.. But no matter what.. This has to be solved.. He cant leave you alone jus like that.. No explanation given.. Whether to continue a not.......
Anyway.. I dun think he doesn't care about you anymore.. Jus like that.. After a quarrel, always need time to cool down and calm down the feelings.. You can expect straight after a quarrel everythin will be back to the same again.. as if nothing had happened... Maybe he still QI TAO SHANG..
If he really don't bother about you.. One thing might be.. the feelings and chemistry for you is gone.. And he couldn't find a way or a reason to break up with you.. Cos he's scared that he might hurt you or.. he don't wan to be a so-called "bad guy" here... Jus so coincident.. both had a quarrel.. and this could be a reason for him to get away... This is jus an assumption!!!! Dun take it so seriously.. Cos I have no idea on what's the arguement about...
But then, i think that it isn't that major afterall.. No problems can be solved.. Is see whether you wanna find a solution to it.. or jus like it rot!! Give him more time ok?? then maybe after you guys can have a talk again.. when both parties are emotionally stable.. After that then see how it goes.. Try not to qaurrel ok?? Jus talk and have a chat.. Don't blow your temper up so easily.. It'll jus spoils everything...
Don't pressurised yourself too much.. Even if things doesn;t work out as what you want.. Life still goes on.. You need to move on and start a new fresh ahead alright..
Take care pal!! I hope you'll be doing fine!!
Cheers! -
haahhaaa... what reply for you?? You tired that's why no reply.. and obviously your reply more powerful than mine!Originally posted by Yunhaier:Wow.. ok lar.. reply for me liao.
I don't dare to snatch rice bowl from the Dear Yunhaier Master! ahahaha
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cheesy, u're most welcome. i guess i've said wat i needed to. hope things work out for the best, which may or may not be you both staying together.Originally posted by CheEsy:what jOhO says is the truth and i'm very happy somebody can really read my mind. well i have just trash half of the things out.
1st) He says he still love and care about me alot but i doubt. He don't even call or sms since the day we quarrel.
2nd) Reason for not calling or sms me is: He is confused. Confused about what He says don't know.
Haiz. That's the information i can get from him. I strongly feel that he don't care about me and i have been taken granted for. -
I believe I have no right to comment on yr case here (bgr... I no exp...) BUT as a guy I wld like to "advice" on yr BF's behalf... As many said here, give U 2 time alone... time to reflect & sort it out... Rational tinking offers better solution than emotional 1s... Da more U pressure him to reply U, da more defiant he gets... & MAY results in drastic situations...
BUT wat I REALLY HOPED for is: IF... I mean IF U 2 broke off, U dun bcoz of da break off start to label ALL guys r bad. Frankly speaking, I had enuf of all dis "guys r bad, perverts, etc, etc..." It has oredi shattered watever faith we "guys" have here... & its hurting.
I may be toking out of point here... but for da sake of da "welfare" & reputation of guys here (watever dats left of it...) I plead wif U & ALL gals here, THINK CAREFULLY, NOT TWICE OR THRICE, BEFORE YOU START TO ACCUSE US GUYS. Thank you. -
Don't be sad girl~~
You mentioned that both of you had a real fierce argument right maybe he is still angry that he sms you that....
Sometimes we don't speak out about how we feel. Perhaps you could give your bf a call or maybe a meet up~~ that will be much more better than using sms~~
You know there are times when sms do cocked things up~
Speak out~
Relationships may not always end with break up after argument~
Try to give and take... To you and your bf~~
It's not easy to be in a relationship~~ Too it's not easy to maintain one also~~
cheers -
Somewhere in Shan Cai's Place, there's a very touching story... about what love really is...
Sometimes we get caught up... in things pointless and we lose sight of what love is.
I do hope you guys work things out... stay together or go separate ways, I do hope both of you find happiness. -
Junior... how come I see yr number of posting getting more & more? fast leh! U "crap" alot hor?Originally posted by IamAngeline:Don't be sad girl~~
You mentioned that both of you had a real fierce argument right maybe he is still angry that he sms you that....
Sometimes we don't speak out about how we feel. Perhaps you could give your bf a call or maybe a meet up~~ that will be much more better than using sms~~
You know there are times when sms do cocked things up~
Speak out~
Relationships may not always end with break up after argument~
Try to give and take... To you and your bf~~
It's not easy to be in a relationship~~ Too it's not easy to maintain one also~~
cheers -
hmmM~~ no leh~~~Originally posted by loneryu00:Junior... how come I see yr number of posting getting more & more? fast leh! U "crap" alot hor?
actually i also dunno why my post getting so many~~~ keke -
Yar... muz be U crap alot...Originally posted by IamAngeline:hmmM~~ no leh~~~
actually i also dunno why my post getting so many~~~ keke -
think so~~~~Originally posted by loneryu00:Yar... muz be U crap alot...
I am a reflection of u loh~~ kekek -
. . . . . . . . .Originally posted by IamAngeline:think so~~~~
I am a reflection of u loh~~ kekek
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hey guys! thanx for your help! by heeding u guys advice, my boyfriend and i have solve our problem! Thanx alot!!! 
By the way why do guys like to gamble? oh loneryu00 u also can't accuse all the girls are like what you have describe! u seems to be biased?? -
good question~~ i think it has something to do their ego~~Originally posted by CheEsy: hey guys! thanx for your help! by heeding u guys advice, my boyfriend and i have solve our problem! Thanx alot!!! By the way why do guys like to gamble? oh loneryu00 u also can't accuse all the girls are like what you have describe! u seems to be biased??
at least when they win $$ they will be proud of themselves that's wht my bf is like~ -
wah... change topic very fast leh...
from reln problem to gambling? hehehe why ask about gambling? -
Har...? Its juz gers in general... only those who FIT into da category I described... maybe I was too vague... but in general yah... & no... I not biased against U gers... its da opposite for SOME gers against US guys......Originally posted by CheEsy: hey guys! thanx for your help! by heeding u guys advice, my boyfriend and i have solve our problem! Thanx alot!!! By the way why do guys like to gamble? oh loneryu00 u also can't accuse all the girls are like what you have describe! u seems to be biased??