Am I stupid??
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i had waited a guy for almoz 2 yrs liao.he's my ex. for the past 2 yrs, we had patched b4 but alwaz ended up in misery.he's alwaz falling for other gers when we r together.i oso duno y,probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him!the last time we broke off,he said we still can be buddies.i was so hurt when he said dat but wat can i say, rite? nw i had a bf,hes quite nice to me but i juz cun forget my ex,2 yrs liao im still very much in luv with him,i noe im still somehw waiting for him. but i realli want to 4get abt all the unhappiness 4get abt him n lead a nw life. but i duno hw to...am i very stupid?wat should i do??
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hmmzzz....c-riously speaking, (pls dun be offended) but i have this urge to snap u out of ur sorrows lo.......haizzz.....Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:i had waited a guy for almoz 2 yrs liao.he's my ex. for the past 2 yrs, we had patched b4 but alwaz ended up in misery.he's alwaz falling for other gers when we r together.i oso duno y,probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him!the last time we broke off,he said we still can be buddies.i was so hurt when he said dat but wat can i say, rite? nw i had a bf,hes quite nice to me but i juz cun forget my ex,2 yrs liao im still very much in luv with him,i noe im still somehw waiting for him. but i realli want to 4get abt all the unhappiness 4get abt him n lead a nw life. but i duno hw to...am i very stupid?wat should i do??
"probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him" ger, wake up.......i doubt tt it's u who's not worthy of him. rather, i'd say he's not worthy of u!! please dun think in such a way tt u ain't worthy of another person lo......dunno how to explain la....but look at it from ur parents point of view....did they bring u on to this earth for u to condemn urself coz of this particular guy? it hurts them as much as pple around u who cares alot for u, to c u stepping upon urself like that.....
personally, my first r/s was kinda like urs too lo......coz we broke n patched n broke n patched...but in the end, i got so tired of breaking n patching tt i just dumped him. nothing good ever resulted from my breaking n patching with him lo.....same case, he was with me, but he was flirting with another ger. a fren of mine. couldn't stand it....so althou' i still loved him very much, i thought he'd be better off without me....so i just broke off with him.
u said u've moved on, but i wonder....ok, probably it's not really my business, but i hope tt u'd ask urself, "y r u wth ur current bf?" "do u really love him for who he is?" "is he just a substitute for ur ex?" "are u using him to get back at ur ex?" "have u really really moved on?"
ur current bf is very nice to u.....er.....do u "love" him coz his nice to u, or do u love him coz he's who he is???? are u being fair to ur current bf??
to move on, like i've mentioned in another topic, u just gotta put ur mind n heart on it lo.......u noe, u'll never forget ur past r/s lo.....i mean, it's notmeant to be forgotten...instead, it's meant to remain in ur memories.....really......i dunno how others feel la, but personally, i dun go into a r/s expecting it'd last, and if it doesn't, hope tt i forget all abt it lo....it will all become a form of experience. =) u'll just have to live with it i guess....but somehow, in time to come, ur feelings of pain n angst caused by past r/s will slowly fade away lo....leaving only the sweetest memories for u to hold on to. =))
er.....*reading my reply over again*...realised tt i'm abit harsh on u la...sowwiez!!!!! really sollee abt lo.....din mean for it to turn out like this.....but anywayz, stop thinking that u're stupid. u're not......neither u slow......being unable to do sth someone else can doesn't make u stupid okiez? =)
chirrup n cheerios!!! -
Dear ApPlE_PiE,
pls dun ever say tat u r not good enough for him, i'm sure u r a nice ger but relationships are hard to say. After reading ur post, i wanna share wif u my story.
I fell in love with my friend, he's those kind of guy whom everybody thinks that he's not worthy of me but actually i think i'm not worthy of him. Anyway, at first i juz treated him as an ordinary friend but actually he's interested in me. One day, he hold my hands, i was shocked but i didn't refused or whatsoever, in fact i felt warmth and comfort when he held my hands. It was as if sunshine was finally shining into my unhappy world(i'm having family and other problems). As days passed, we do things tat couples would do but he still haven't asked me to be his gf and i never mentioned anything abt it. Then one night, he told me tat he's a guy who cannot be serious in a relationship and he said that he'll get tired of it easily, my tears juz flowed down, it was till then tat i realized i love this guy, i can't pretend tat i don't care. We still meet up after tat, i act as if nothing happened, i was thinking if we can remain this way, i can still see him, i dun need to be his gf, i juz want to be by his side, see his smile... I dunno why, he's the one who couldn't take it, i hold him and he sang a Andy Lau's song (tai duo tai duo de bao qian), i cried coz i know from tat song tat my love was too much for him to bear and tat's his decision. I knew we couldn't be together anymore, he din't cheat me, i'm the one who's willing to give my everything to him. We didn't contact after tat, i was in depression (maybe becoz of some other problems), i was mad at everybody and myself, i pratically refused everybody's calls and did a lot of stupid things. Then my aunt passed away, i dunno how and why, i juz felt tat i muz be strong, i can't carry on like this. I spent the whole night thinking over it and listening to tat song and i finally thought it over.
In every relationship, you'll learn something good from it. I did, to love someone is to let him go and let him be happy. I was happy with him and now i don't hate him, i really hope we can still be friends although i know he don't want to. I learn to be strong and not run away from reality. Life is short, it may not be perfect but all you can do is to make it better for yourself. You don't have to forget abt ur ex, juz forget abt the nasty things tat he did to u and treasure all the sweet memories tat u both shared.
I believe everyone of us will find tat special someone one day, if u keep on brooding over the past, u might let ur true happiness pass u by. Like u, I still love tat guy very much but if i insist on keeping him with me, he will be unhappy and i will be miserable too.
Hope u can get over him
~phoenix81~
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Never say i love you if you really don't care
Never talk about feelings if they aren't really there
Never say forever cause forever makes me cry -
Dear Apple,
Seeing your nice nick I can't help but post a reply. (hehehe!)
If one day your current bf find out about this, how do you think he will feel? Your "can't bear your ex" feeling will hurt him you know? If it doesn't matter, then why are you with him now?
Having a new bf is already your attempt to move on and not dwell in the past. If you still think of him you will not only hurt yourself but your current bf.
Do u think it is worth waiting for your ex? Are you sure you want someone who is always tempted by seductions? I know it is hard to give someone up especially if you still keep in contact, so maybe to forget him once and for all, shut out all contacts with him.
Remember, your ex might come patching up with you cause he don't have a gf then and treats you as a sparetyre. He is only making use of you.
Try to wake up from this. You are starting actually, or else you won't ask whether you are stupid.
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**I want u to be with me.....
be with me in the morning...be with me in the nite...with me when its dark out...with me when its light...
I want u to be with me...no matter what we do...just keep this reminder...of how much I love u...** -
helo guyz........
hey i know dat ur ex bf matteers alot to you..pardon me but i would like to say dat he is a jerk......i mean...hell.....y is he treating u like dat when you r there loving him wif all ur heart???
u must be a veri forgiving person to be able to bear wif his actions for so long....
i do agree wif the point dat this kind fo things are not meant to be forgotton...but u gotta learn to let go.....seriously...i don reali tink i am able to do dat too but in time to come we will learn......and dats part of maturing too.......
if we keep wallowing in self-pity...no one can help us.......
actualli all this kinds of advise and stuf...everyone knows.....its jzu dat when it happens to us..no one wanna face the fact.dats all....
give urself more time to tink......and yea be fair to ur current guy...... -
Wow! This thread happening. T|red, keep writing... "I'm picking the essence of Advanced Theory from your writings...heehee
". You can *arbish me all you like :p
Apple Pie,
I want to say a lot of things but I think I tell a story better:
There was this man who was visiting a magnificent palace. The decoration, the art pieces, the antiques, the architecture are all out of this world but before he entered the gate. He was given a tablespoon full of oil and was told not to lose a single drop or his hands will be chopped off. Poor guy goes around staring at his spoonful of oil but didn't enjoy his tour of the palace. Sucks, eh?
Okie,
ex-bf = spoonful of oil
bf = magnificent palace
man = you
To end the story. The man was told that its ok if he lose the oil. It doesn't matter and his hands won't be chopped off. Now, he's staring at the entire palace, eyes wide open, mouth gaping and thoroughly enjoying himself. The spoonful of oil? Well, it was lost while the man was enjoying himself. Geddit? -
Hey, thanx pple actualli when i 1st posted dis msg i was nt realli sure dat there would be replies.im realli grateful to all the pple who replied and had given me such great advise.i noe to 4get a person is nt easy n to 4get some1 whom u luv dearly is more diff.but i'll try my best.i had let my current bf down once,i cun let him down the second time.last but nt least,i would like to thanx u all 1 more time!Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:i had waited a guy for almoz 2 yrs liao.he's my ex. for the past 2 yrs, we had patched b4 but alwaz ended up in misery.he's alwaz falling for other gers when we r together.i oso duno y,probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him!the last time we broke off,he said we still can be buddies.i was so hurt when he said dat but wat can i say, rite? nw i had a bf,hes quite nice to me but i juz cun forget my ex,2 yrs liao im still very much in luv with him,i noe im still somehw waiting for him. but i realli want to 4get abt all the unhappiness 4get abt him n lead a nw life. but i duno hw to...am i very stupid?wat should i do?? -
Hehhehheh... This is pretty much about the best part of this post...Originally posted by t|rEd:er.....*reading my reply over again*...realised tt i'm abit harsh on u la...sowwiez!!!!! really sollee abt lo.....din mean for it to turn out like this.....but anywayz, stop thinking that u're stupid. u're not......neither u slow......being unable to do sth someone else can doesn't make u stupid okiez? =)
chirrup n cheerios!!! I 'salute' you for that...? :p
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I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II -
Hehheh... So you WERE LYING...? You said you don't know how to handle this situation but in fact you DO?Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:Hey, thanx pple actualli when i 1st posted dis msg i was nt realli sure dat there would be replies.im realli grateful to all the pple who replied and had given me such great advise.i noe to 4get a person is nt easy n to 4get some1 whom u luv dearly is more diff.but i'll try my best.i had let my current bf down once,i cun let him down the second time.last but nt least,i would like to thanx u all 1 more time! Just take a little time and LOTS of tender loving care...
Think it's pretty obvious as to who you really love now isn't it? When you love someone you LOVE someone.... Don't look back and wonder who you MIGHT still love or who MIGHT still love you....? Notice where you stand now... Notice who you are now.... Notice your LOVE, let him notice you... You KNOW what to do...? Do I need to say more..?
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I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II -
Tis question...I haf ask too many ppl...somehow is not a matter of whether are u stupid.Someone told mi is the level of exploration.We are clear towards wat we should do...but somehow luv is blind...we gif we take...sometimes it hurts...but tat is luv...Enjoy wat u haf nw...ur current bf...happinness is in the air...learn to feel it...Take care!
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another thing to consider.. Just wanna ask u. is it u cannot forget him or u cannot forget the memories that spend wif him? It's 2 different things.. the former is that love him for wat he is from then till now. and assuming that he has changed since and u are able to accept this new him too... The latter is to be liveing in the world of the past, when u recall the the good he has given u. and u think he will still gif it to u when u r together. Do u think think of him or do ur remember the situations that u r wif him??
Things will be clearer when u can answer the qns. and will be able to know wat to do between u and ur current.
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()""() ************************
( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.) Beary Bear *Huggiez*...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love.
[This message has been edited by Bear (edited 13 June 2001).] -
Sorry to say this, but to me, u are trying to have the best of both worlds. While embarking on a new journey, u need the necessary willpower to discard your previous path and set on the new one. Lounging between the 2 paths is going to put u in a very bad limelight.
Make up your mind. Be fair to both yourself and the both of them. Think again.
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Well it's not easy to forget but dun live in the pass, the memories will still remain and you might still cherish them. Let those just be memories.
To forget one is to like another.
Treasure your relation that you have now. Think about all those who are still single and lonely (at times). This will remind you of how lucky you are to have a bf by your side.
All the best in your life ahead. -
Yup, love is nvr stupid, it's juz tt u loved him too much, let time heals your wounds, mayb u can divert all your concentration to your studies, when u hav many things to do, u won't hav any time to remember him loh...Originally posted by ZiZi:Tis question...I haf ask too many ppl...somehow is not a matter of whether are u stupid.Someone told mi is the level of exploration.We are clear towards wat we should do...but somehow luv is blind...we gif we take...sometimes it hurts...but tat is luv...Enjoy wat u haf nw...ur current bf...happinness is in the air...learn to feel it...Take care!
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Apple pie,
I got a female friend, whose in a very very very similar position as u ........ i understand what its like lar, cos i told her 1000s of times liao to forget abt that 'jerk' but still failed. U r thinking of him, but will he do the same? The ans is simply no lor ....... he maybe 'enjoying' his life rite now with some1 else....... so no point lar......
Yah i know its easier said than done....... cos i been through also, haha......... like i always say: AI YI GE REN HAO NAN (1 of william so's song) ........
But thats life lar, we learn from all these.
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nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
to the front part abt wat advanced theory in love, *arbish* *arbish* tok cok....Originally posted by Klactovak:Wow! This thread happening. T|red, keep writing... "I'm picking the essence of Advanced Theory from your writings...heehee". You can *arbish me all you like :p
Apple Pie,
I want to say a lot of things but I think I tell a story better:
There was this man who was visiting a magnificent palace. The decoration, the art pieces, the antiques, the architecture are all out of this world but before he entered the gate. He was given a tablespoon full of oil and was told not to lose a single drop or his hands will be chopped off. Poor guy goes around staring at his spoonful of oil but didn't enjoy his tour of the palace. Sucks, eh?
Okie,
ex-bf = spoonful of oil
bf = magnificent palace
man = you
To end the story. The man was told that its ok if he lose the oil. It doesn't matter and his hands won't be chopped off. Now, he's staring at the entire palace, eyes wide open, mouth gaping and thoroughly enjoying himself. The spoonful of oil? Well, it was lost while the man was enjoying himself. Geddit?
2nd part, (like devil) i "salute" u. =) really la. no suanning here...very impressed by ur illustration.
budden again, Dev|l ar, y u "salute" (in ".." somemore) me huh??
[This message has been edited by t|rEd (edited 14 June 2001).] -
to reinforce wat bear has said la......i think if u're really living in a world of the past, ie u can't let go of the memories and would like to relive it over n over again, i shud think u haf this image of a "perfect" (in ur eyes) ex, coz all u c are the hapi moments lo......but realise tt thigns would neber b the same as it was coz pple will change lo.........i mean, mebbe u dun haf tt perfect an image of him in ur mnd la, but wat i mean is tt since u c onli da good times, u'd naturally still hld a very positive point of view of him, so much so tt u keep wanting to go back to him, coz da r/s has already a base there......Originally posted by Bear:another thing to consider.. Just wanna ask u. is it u cannot forget him or u cannot forget the memories that spend wif him? It's 2 different things.. the former is that love him for wat he is from then till now. and assuming that he has changed since and u are able to accept this new him too... The latter is to be liveing in the world of the past, when u recall the the good he has given u. and u think he will still gif it to u when u r together. Do u think think of him or do ur remember the situations that u r wif him??
Things will be clearer when u can answer the qns. and will be able to know wat to do between u and ur current. -
Old one don't go, New one don't come... guys got alot in singapore. For example... ME LOR!Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:i had waited a guy for almoz 2 yrs liao.he's my ex. for the past 2 yrs, we had patched b4 but alwaz ended up in misery.he's alwaz falling for other gers when we r together.i oso duno y,probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him!the last time we broke off,he said we still can be buddies.i was so hurt when he said dat but wat can i say, rite? nw i had a bf,hes quite nice to me but i juz cun forget my ex,2 yrs liao im still very much in luv with him,i noe im still somehw waiting for him. but i realli want to 4get abt all the unhappiness 4get abt him n lead a nw life. but i duno hw to...am i very stupid?wat should i do?? haha *joking* Forget abt him, its a sooner or later thing... don waste your life... 2 years? U know 2 years u can try many luck with other guys outside u know? Never try never know, hope u don live ur life with regrets... regretting to make use of your youth and try other guys... when u old liao then u regret... -
this is some sort related to the marrying post... maybe u should give up waiting ...if one day he comes back to u...it onli means u 2 r fated to be together...Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:i had waited a guy for almoz 2 yrs liao.he's my ex. for the past 2 yrs, we had patched b4 but alwaz ended up in misery.he's alwaz falling for other gers when we r together.i oso duno y,probably im nt gd enuf but im willing to do anything for him!the last time we broke off,he said we still can be buddies.i was so hurt when he said dat but wat can i say, rite? nw i had a bf,hes quite nice to me but i juz cun forget my ex,2 yrs liao im still very much in luv with him,i noe im still somehw waiting for him. but i realli want to 4get abt all the unhappiness 4get abt him n lead a nw life. but i duno hw to...am i very stupid?wat should i do??
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I tink u should forget yr ex and get on with yr new guy. Forget him.. treasure wat u haf now b4 u lose it... all the best -
Please note year and date..?Originally posted by Ah^ken:
I tink u should forget yr ex and get on with yr new guy. Forget him.. treasure wat u haf now b4 u lose it... all the best 
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are u stupid??? what kind of question is that??
so if u are stupid than what? would u ever consider changing ur heart for the sake of ppl who giving u advices here???
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learn to move on
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-_-`~ Don't you people read the date of posting before trying to help someone with their problem...?
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nope..if it's a posting than it is worth to be replied....Originally posted by Devil1976:-_-`~ Don't you people read the date of posting before trying to help someone with their problem...? 