just want to...
-
just want to type this out..just a little something i need to say..
I'm still in a daze, dunno wat to say. Didnt hear from him from the time we went our separate ways. I got a mail from him today. It was a simple one..hell it was just a forwarded one informing his frens of a change in email address..
It got harder to breath..my hands went cold..
Why do i feel like this? It was over a long time ago..i bet he's having a good life now with someone new. I'm leading a good life with someone too..
But why do i still feel like a part of me has just died everytime i think of him?
Stupid i know. Dumb. But wat can i do? I've been trying to forget for so long...his face, his smile, his laughter.. i still remember so well......
There are certain songs i can never listen to again..certain places i'll never visit again..certain words i'll never speak again.. all in the name of love.....
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
...
------------------
"A relationship is like a rose,
How long it lasts, no one knows;
Love can erase an awful past,
Love can be yours, you'll see at last;
To feel that love, it makes you sigh,
To have it leave, you'd rather die;
You hope you've found that special rose,
'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." -
haiz.... love....cuts deeply like a knife...
nuting much to say... -
®”Äã¹Â†ÎµÄ•rºò�ëÆðÕl ¡£¡£¡£la la la ...
(The above is in Chinese)
[This message has been edited by Noah (edited 09 September 2001).] -
Here again.
I'm supposed to be concentrating on a project.. Have to present it tomorrow...
Can't concentrate.. My mind draws a complete blank.. i NEED to get this project done!
Yet like a ghost, his memory keeps haunting me.. Days of our past..flash right across my mind's eye...like a well oiled machine.. churning those bright clear pictures out..
Getting a headache..
One shld not dwell in the past..but one is most comfortable there.. memories so sweet i can almost taste it..
Now i understand that the life i have been living after him is nothing but a dream..layer upon layer upon layer of masks have been put up.. walls upon walls have been built around the hurt to hide it..
I just want to get on with my life knowing that everything is fine.. but is that wat i really want? no..wat i really want is to grief..
so lost..grief for the lost moment..never to return again..
damn..i need to continue my project..
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Juz think of your project and nothing else, although I knw it's difficult, but try to keep yourself occupied so tt u can forget the unpleasant memories, all the best to your presentatn tomorow...Originally posted by fedora:Here again.
I'm supposed to be concentrating on a project.. Have to present it tomorrow...
Can't concentrate.. My mind draws a complete blank.. i NEED to get this project done!
Yet like a ghost, his memory keeps haunting me.. Days of our past..flash right across my mind's eye...like a well oiled machine.. churning those bright clear pictures out..
Getting a headache..
One shld not dwell in the past..but one is most comfortable there.. memories so sweet i can almost taste it..
Now i understand that the life i have been living after him is nothing but a dream..layer upon layer upon layer of masks have been put up.. walls upon walls have been built around the hurt to hide it..
I just want to get on with my life knowing that everything is fine.. but is that wat i really want? no..wat i really want is to grief..
so lost..grief for the lost moment..never to return again..
damn..i need to continue my project..
------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Haiz, juz concentrate. Wat else can u do? Meditate?
------------------
Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration" -
how come u are attached now yet u are still thinking of him? thats not too rite leh.. well, perhaps u should force urself to listen to the songs that u dun dare to hear again..n go to those places..overcome the emotional barriers n i think u will feel better.. thats wat my fren did n she succeeded...
-
All this is just a natural part of life... NOT ONLY love... When a certain portion of your life have benn 'disappointed' or likewise... You tends to hide from it or forget about it... DISCARDING it as YOUR PAST and NO LONGER part of your whole... Hence, the feeling of 'part of you felt dead' comes in...Originally posted by fedora:just want to type this out..just a little something i need to say..
I'm still in a daze, dunno wat to say. Didnt hear from him from the time we went our separate ways. I got a mail from him today. It was a simple one..hell it was just a forwarded one informing his frens of a change in email address..
It got harder to breath..my hands went cold..
Why do i feel like this? It was over a long time ago..i bet he's having a good life now with someone new. I'm leading a good life with someone too..
But why do i still feel like a part of me has just died everytime i think of him?
Stupid i know. Dumb. But wat can i do? I've been trying to forget for so long...his face, his smile, his laughter.. i still remember so well......
There are certain songs i can never listen to again..certain places i'll never visit again..certain words i'll never speak again.. all in the name of love.....
The places, songs and words are just indirectly LINKED to him (that DESTROYED part of you?)... This is just a inborn nature of human.... If you understand that those places, songs and words have no direct linkage except for some memory clicks... You'll soon realised that you're just having 'double vision'....
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Hmm... Just noticed, VERY INTERESTING signature you've got there...?Originally posted by fedora:Here again.
I'm supposed to be concentrating on a project.. Have to present it tomorrow...
Can't concentrate.. My mind draws a complete blank.. i NEED to get this project done!
Yet like a ghost, his memory keeps haunting me.. Days of our past..flash right across my mind's eye...like a well oiled machine.. churning those bright clear pictures out..
Getting a headache..
One shld not dwell in the past..but one is most comfortable there.. memories so sweet i can almost taste it..
Now i understand that the life i have been living after him is nothing but a dream..layer upon layer upon layer of masks have been put up.. walls upon walls have been built around the hurt to hide it..
I just want to get on with my life knowing that everything is fine.. but is that wat i really want? no..wat i really want is to grief..
so lost..grief for the lost moment..never to return again..
damn..i need to continue my project..
I understand how you feel in this post... That's why I've always urge people to know their directions before they decide to move on.... ESPECIALLY after a blow... To move on is to pick yourself up, recognise your NEW direction and walk along the path... NOT to RUN away from your FEAR without knowing where you're heading for NEXT...
It's COMMON for people to come to realise one day that they've been 'RUNNING' for MOST of their life when they look back... Not understanding why are they on 'this path'.... Hence, LOST.....
The life you've spent after the particular incident is not superficial... It's AS REAL AS it is.... If it was led not for the fact of simply GOING AGAINST the incident... It is not truly wasted... EVEN if it WAS.... It was not toally wasted.....
What I would urge you to do is what you've already chosen to do... To face it and GRIEF... BUT... To RETURN to your life after that... Afterall, the PAST are just MEMORIES.... MEMORIES are just STORED DATA.... Go back and tidy up your 'storeroom'.... But don't forget to come back... Don't be tempted by the precious photos and gifts you see in it...?
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
If a problem can come all the way back from the PAST SO FAR away... It's NOT without a cause....Originally posted by mikegk_76:Juz think of your project and nothing else, although I knw it's difficult, but try to keep yourself occupied so tt u can forget the unpleasant memories, all the best to your presentatn tomorow...
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Originally posted by joanne:how come u are attached now yet u are still thinking of him? thats not too rite leh.. well, perhaps u should force urself to listen to the songs that u dun dare to hear again..n go to those places..overcome the emotional barriers n i think u will feel better.. thats wat my fren did n she succeeded... Force herself to go to the toilet when she don't need to...? :p
-
Fedo Fedo!
Forget him, i command u to forget him!! :p :p forget as in, get on with ur life, he's a memory now..... n dun forget, u have a bf now one ar...must be faithful, its unfair to him.
call me if need be, okie? I'll be waiting
------------------
Why do i sometimes get the feeling that i am being ignored? Maybe it is just me
-----------------
*Sandeee* -
Congrats to ur fren joanne.. i really envy her.. if only it was that simple..Originally posted by joanne:how come u are attached now yet u are still thinking of him? thats not too rite leh.. well, perhaps u should force urself to listen to the songs that u dun dare to hear again..n go to those places..overcome the emotional barriers n i think u will feel better.. thats wat my fren did n she succeeded...
I've tried listening to the songs..but had to stop halfway coz couldn't take it..
I know it's unfair..and i've tried..but guess i'm just not strong enough..
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Hey Sandeee.. =)Originally posted by UgLy BuT AdOrabLe:Fedo Fedo!
Forget him, i command u to forget him!! :p :p forget as in, get on with ur life, he's a memory now..... n dun forget, u have a bf now one ar...must be faithful, its unfair to him.
call me if need be, okie? I'll be waiting
I'm still trying.. i thought i succeeded.. but i just realised that it's just been surpressed..and now it's back and bigger than ever..
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:
[/B][/QUOTE]
[b]Hmm... Just noticed, VERY INTERESTING signature you've got there...?
thanks..my fren told me this once.. after much thinking..it made sense..
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Finally finished the darn project research..
done and presented.. got a good grade..
more memories came along today..it scares me to be able to remember so much.. i cant even remember what i had for dinner last night..
Darn.. have to start on another project.. i have to shut these memories out!!
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Hmm... Perhaps you've practiced a correct method in a wrong way (mentality?)Originally posted by fedora:Congrats to ur fren joanne.. i really envy her.. if only it was that simple..
I've tried listening to the songs..but had to stop halfway coz couldn't take it..
I know it's unfair..and i've tried..but guess i'm just not strong enough..
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Originally posted by fedora:[b] thanks..my fren told me this once.. after much thinking..it made sense.. So I reckon it must be a VERY MEANINGFUL phrase for you now...? Hmm... PREFECT?
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
no.. not perfect.. it just really made sense.. =)Originally posted by Devil1976: So I reckon it must be a VERY MEANINGFUL phrase for you now...? Hmm... PREFECT?
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Hehheh... SMART GIRL... Glad you see through the point and don't indulge in it blindly...Originally posted by fedora:no.. not perfect.. it just really made sense.. =)
------------------
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
hahahahahahahahahahaah......cantonese serial...hahahaha
-
You've SAID that BEFORE already... How about something NEW...?Originally posted by blackhair:hahahahahahahahahahaah......cantonese serial...hahahaha
------------------
In LIGHT I shall FEAR NOT. FOR what I AM is CUT so DEEP inside of ME.
I LIVE my FLESH and SOUL ONLY to BLEED for the OTHERS.
FEAR ME NOT. FOR I AM YOUR 'MASTER'. GIVE YOU STRENGTH. FOR YOU ARE MY 'ENEMY'.
DEVIL PHRASE I
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Finally got through another day. Exhausted. Been feeling so tired lately..
Remembered lots of stuff today..stuff from 1998..
Such bittersweet memories...
Heart just skipped a beat and sank.. Feeling anxious yet dulled..
How i wish to see him smile at me again..sad..
gotta get back to my project..FOCUS!
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good.. -
Finished the project.. Had a long nap just now.. so very tired..
Gotta start on another one.. gonna take a while again..
*sigh*
------------------
Sometimes..
Things are so lost
that you begin to doubt urself..
Things are so quiet
that u question ur purpose of living..
Things don't come perfect..
You must make them good..